After the Loving

by Carole Mortimer

  But as he viciously flicked the switch on the bedside lamp, the cold fury in his face unmistakable, she knew that he was perfectly serious. But why? She had never given him cause to think such a thing

  ‘Raff, how could I have been having an affair with Court when I was already having an affair with you?’ she reasoned in bewilderment.

  His mouth thinned. ‘I admit, being unfaithful to a lover is a little unique?’

  ‘And untrue,’ she claimed incredulously. ‘What on earth made you think such a thing? I——’

  ‘I didn’t just think it, Bryna,’ he rasped. ‘I have proof.’

  She became suddenly still, wondering if she could possibly have fallen asleep without realising it and this was all a nightmare. But as she pinched herself and felt the pain she knew she was wide awake, that this was all very real. ‘What proof?’ she asked dazedly.

  ‘You were seen having lunches together, cosy little dinners for two——’

  ‘I told you about them,’ she defended.

  ‘Not all of them,’ he grated.

  ‘Most of them.’ Guilty colour darkened her cheeks. Her decision not to discuss her business with Raff in an effort to make him realise how he shut her out was backfiring in a way she could never have envisaged! ‘They were business meetings.’

  ‘Your contract with Court ended weeks ago,’ Raff dismissed coldly.

  ‘I was trying to interest him in using several of my models again,’ she told him heatedly.

  ‘Of course you were,’ Raff said with obvious scepticism.

  ‘But I was! I—have you spoken to Court about any of this?’ she asked exasperatedly.

  ‘Of course,’ he nodded abruptly. ‘He denies that the two of you are having an affair.’

  ‘There you are——’

  ‘But of course he would,’ Raff insisted unrelentingly. ‘But you’re married to me now, expecting my child, and I don’t have to pretend ignorance any more.’

  ‘If you really believe that we had an affair behind your back how do you know this isn’t his child?’ Bryna challenged, hurt and confused by the unexpectedness of his attack.

  ‘That’s the one thing I can be sure of.’ He looked at her coldly as he climbed out of the bed. ‘You see, Court is sterile!’

  Bryna knew she must have paled, but the irony of Court’s tragedy after years of believing herself incapable of ever having a child made it too unbearable to contemplate his torment.

  But it didn’t diminish the fact that as far as Raff was concerned the only thing he could be sure of was the paternity of her child!

  It also explained his threats to force her into marriage with him. Maybe he had thought, knowing of Court’s sterility, that the other man would be more than glad to marry her himself once he knew she carried a child. She realised now that it was probably also the reason he hadn’t told Court about the baby.

  Oh, now she understood what he had meant that day in Scotland when he had told her he ‘didn’t care what other plans she had made, she was marrying him’! He couldn’t take the risk that Court would welcome her pregnancy with open arms.

  My God, she thought, was the affair he believed her to have been having with Court the reason he had been acting so coldly towards her the last couple of months, the reason he had been so unreasonable and hurt her by flirting with Rosemary the night of Court’s party, before making love to her so exquisitely?

  If that were so, did it also mean that he hadn’t tired of her at all but had believed she was being unfaithful to him?

  She looked at him with wide eyes as that last thought occurred to her, realising for the first time that he was in the process of dressing, black trousers already fitted to his narrow hips and legs, a cream shirt unbuttoned down his chest. ‘Where are you going?’ she asked in dismay; he couldn’t walk out on her now, not without discussing this further!

  ‘Out,’ he rasped.

  ‘But——’

  ‘Don’t worry, Bryna, I’ll be back before morning,’ he bit out derisively. ‘And I’ll think of a good excuse for you to move back into your own bedroom tomorrow night!’

  ‘Raff, we have to talk——’

  ‘It’s too late for that,’ he grated, thrusting his shirt into the waist of his trousers. ‘It was too late the moment you decided to take Court as your next lover!’

  ‘But I didn’t——’

  ‘Was he as experienced as me, Bryna?’ he demanded coldly. ‘As “skilled"? Of course he was,’ he answered disgustedly. ‘But no other man, not even one I once called friend, is going to bring up a child that I know is mine!’

  ‘Raff!’ Bryna cried out as he reached the door. ‘Raff, it isn’t true,’ she pleaded. ‘None of it’s true!’

  ‘I told you, you were seen together,’ he rasped contemptuously. ‘And even if you hadn’t been, do you think I can’t tell when a woman changes towards me in bed? My God, I’ve had one wife who preferred another man to me, so I should know!’ he scorned.

  She drew in a ragged breath. ‘If I did change it was only because——’

  ‘Yes?’ he prompted harshly.

  ‘Because you changed,’ she accused, standing up agitatedly. ‘Oh yes, you did,’ she insisted at his sceptical expression. ‘I thought you were getting tired of me. I thought——’

  ‘You would line up another lover for when our affair was over,’ he finished disgustedly. ‘What’s the matter, Bryna, now that you’ve discovered the “joys of sex” can’t you do without it for even the length of time it would have taken you to find my replacement once our affair was over?’

  ‘Stop twisting things to suit your own warped accusations,’ she cried. ‘You’ve got it all wrong,’ she insisted emotionally. ‘Court isn’t, and never will be, my lover!’

  ‘The past I can’t do anything about, but you’re right about the future,’ Raff told her grimly. ‘No other man is going to know your body but me in future. And now that I know how much you like to make love I don’t expect I’ll have to wait long before you come begging me to take you!’

  Bryna stared at the door he had closed forcefully behind him without actually slamming it and waking up the rest of the household.

  Did he really believe all that he had accused her of? Of course he did, he wouldn’t be acting this way if he didn’t!

  Court and her? How could he have come to such an erroneous conclusion? She and Court were friends, yes, and Court flirted with her endlessly, but surely no more than he did with every other female he came into contact with.

  Proof, Raff had said, but surely he couldn’t count a few meals together where they discussed business as that? He did, she knew he did, and it seemed there was nothing she could say to change his mind.

  No wonder his cold indifference had actually seemed to turn to hate since he had found out about the baby and he had forced her into marriage!

  Only now he was making no secret of that hate—or the reason for it.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  BRYNA was glad when the holiday period was over and she could get back to work, away from the oppression of living with Raff.

  As promised, he had let her move back into her own bedroom, but he had arrogantly offered no explanation to anyone who might be curious about this abrupt estrangement between husband and wife.

  Her parents had gone back to Scotland, Paul had returned to his flat, and she had helped Kate move in with Brenda, still having misgivings about the advisability of the latter. But Raff made it obvious he didn’t wish to discuss his daughter, or anything else, with her.

  They were living like complete strangers only ten days after their wedding, not bothering to make polite conversation even over dinner now. In fact, the strain at the dinner table had been so intense that the last two evenings Bryna had asked for a tray in her bedroom. As far as she was aware Raff hadn’t even noticed her absence!

  ‘Get me Mr Stevens on the telephone, Gilly,’ she requested as soon as she walked into her office on her first day back at work.


  She leafed listlessly through the mail Gilly had left on the desk for her attention as she waited for the call to come through. She had been longing to speak to Court, to see what he made of Raff’s ridiculous accusations, ever since Raff had hurled them at her, but she knew that if she had called him from the house and Raff found out about it—! Well, there was enough friction between them already.

  She snatched up the receiver as soon as the telephone rang. ‘Court?’ she said breathlessly.

  ‘Bryna?’ He sounded surprised to hear from her.

  Which wasn’t surprising if Raff had launched the same accusations at him that he had at her! ‘Court, we have to talk,’ she told him without prevarication.

  ‘My God, he didn’t upset you with his fantasies in your condition, did he?’ he returned disgustedly.

  ‘I can’t seem to convince him they are fantasies,’ she confirmed shakily, feeling like crying after the last days of tension.

  ‘Bryna, he—he hasn’t hurt you, has he?’ Court demanded concernedly.

  ‘No, of course not,’ she protested the suggestion. Raff was a very physical man, who could display displeasure as easily as he could give pleasure, but she was sure he would never use violence on a woman. ‘I just need to talk to someone who understands how I feel.’

  ‘Thank God for that,’ said Court with obvious relief. ‘Okay, Bryna, how about lunch?’

  They made the arrangement to meet at the restaurant before Bryna rang off to get caught up in the rush of the day; she had plenty to do after the long Christmas and New Year break. She was glad of the hectic pace of the morning, she had felt as if her life had plummeted completely out of control since the night Raff had accused her of having an affair with Court. With any luck she could continue to work until the day the baby was born!

  Court gave her a searching look when she joined him at their table. ‘I know you’re supposed to tell a pregnant woman how radiant she looks, but you don’t look at all well, Bryna,’ he frowned as they both sat down.

  She knew the truth of that; she rarely slept and had a complete lack of appetite, knowing that both things showed in her lacklustre hair and shadowed eyes. Her pregnancy was becoming very noticeable as she lost weight and the baby inside her grew, the loose dress she wore doing little to hide that fact.

  ‘It’s Raff and this stupid idea he has that we had an affair,’ she sighed, shaking her head when the waiter enquired if she would like a drink, her fingers moving nervously against the tablecloth.

  ‘When did he tell you about that?’ All the laughter had been erased from Court’s face and eyes, his own strain very evident.

  She shrugged. ‘When we got to bed after spending Christmas Day with our families. He——’

  ‘Trust Raff to at least take his damned wedding night before alienating you!’ he said disgustedly.

  ‘But he didn’t! I mean, we didn’t,’ she amended with a blush. ‘We have this agreement, you see——’

  ‘What sort of an agreement can a newly married couple have that involves them not making love on their wedding night?’ Court looked dumbfounded.

  Bryna signed. ‘The sort of agreement where the father wants complete rights to his as yet unborn child.’

  ‘And that’s the only reason he married you?’ Court realised incredulously.

  Her gaze lowered to the snowy white tablecloth, absently realising that she had badly creased the crisp linen with the constant pleatings of her restless fingers. ‘The only reason,’ she confirmed huskily.

  Court leant back in his chair with an angry sigh. ‘You would have been better off fighting him for custody in court!’

  ‘I think that’s the reason Raff married me so quickly and then didn’t tell me what he believed about the two of us until I was safely his wife,’ she told him dully.

  ‘The damned fool,’ said Court angrily. ‘Why on earth is he throwing your relationship away?’

  Bryna shook her head. ‘He says he has proof, that the two of us were seen dining together.’

  ‘Business meetings,’ he claimed instantly.

  ‘I told him that, but——’

  ‘He didn’t believe you,’ Court bit out. ‘Telling me about his suspicions at the wedding was one thing, but I had no idea he was going to make you unhappy with them too. I would have come to the house even though I wasn’t welcome, if I’d known.’

  Her mouth twisted ruefully. ‘He would have thrown you out, literally. But Kate asked after you——’

  ‘I’ve seen her,’ he nodded grimly.

  ‘You have?’ Bryna looked at him in surprise; Kate had come home for dinner three nights ago—the last time Bryna had eaten with Raff—and she had given no indication that she had seen her Uncle Court.

  He shrugged. ‘She telephoned me and we had dinner together last night. Don’t look so worried, Bryna,’ he drawled. ‘Raff may not want to know me any more, but I’ve known those kids so long that sometimes I feel as if they’re mine!’

  Knowing what she did about him she could understand how he felt about the children of his best friend. ‘They’re very fond of you too,’ she nodded.

  He gave an indulgent smile. ‘Kate is enjoying sharing a flat.’

  ‘Raff doesn’t approve,’ Bryna frowned. ‘He only agreed to let her go so that she shouldn’t realise we were living in the same house but apart.’

  ‘The fool!’ rasped Court. ‘What the hell is the matter with him?’ he added angrily.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said shakily. ‘It all seems to come back to the fact that for some reason he believes the two of us are having an affair.’

  ‘If I didn’t know better I would say he was jealous,’ Court frowned.

  ‘Impossible!’ Bryna gave a scathing laugh. ‘If it weren’t for the baby I would be out of his life and forgotten by now!’

  ‘Hm,’ murmured Court. ‘It was because of Kate and Paul that he and Josey stayed together as long as they did.’

  ‘Yes,’ she acknowledged dully. ‘Now he intends for us to have the same unemotional marriage.’

  ‘It doesn’t sound to me as if he wants you to take a lover,’ Court derided.

  She looked at him searchingly. ‘You know about the relationship he and Josey had?’

  ‘That they both had lovers?’ he nodded. ‘I think everyone knew except Kate and Paul. I can’t believe that Raff would settle for that half-marriage again.’

  ‘It isn’t a question of settling for anything,’ she told him heavily. ‘He wants his child. And so do I!’

  Court looked at her closely. ‘You love him, don’t you? Of course you do,’ he said self-derisively. ‘Why else would you have married him?’ His hand covered hers comfortingly.

  Bryna shook her head. ‘Believe me, Court, if I had any choice I would never have become his wife. But he more or less threatened to take my child away from me if I didn’t agree.’

  ‘You——’

  ‘Hello, darling,’ greeted a smoothly controlled voice, and Bryna’s stricken gaze raised to meet the coldly furious one of her husband. ‘I told you I would try to get here, didn’t I?’ he added lightly.

  Bryna knew that the last was added for their audience, that he didn’t want anyone to realise his wife was having lunch with another man without his knowledge.

  Oh God, she thought, how much of her conversation with Court had Raff overhead! Certainly the part about her having no choice but to marry him, if the angry glitter of his eyes was anything to go by, but he didn’t look as if he had also heard Court claim she was in love with him, Raff.

  Court sat back in his chair as he released her hand, relaxed and in control. ‘Why don’t you join us?’ he invited politely.

  ‘Unfortunately I’m with some business associates,’ Raff bit out. ‘Otherwise, believe me, nothing else would give me greater pleasure than to join the two of you and listen to some more of this fascinating conversation!’

  Bryna swallowed hard. He had overheard the part of the conversation where she had expressed
regret at having to marry him. And he didn’t look in the mood to be convinced that it was the having to marry him that bothered her, not actually having him as her husband.

  ‘Don’t cause a scene, Raff——’

  ‘Believe me, I’m very much in control,’ he glared at the other man. ‘If I wanted to cause a scene I would have punched you in the face and taken back my wife as soon as I came into the restaurant and saw the two of you together!’

  Court’s mouth twisted derisively. ‘I thought I was supposed to be the one with the temper?’

  Raff looked at him coldly. ‘We all know that’s my child Bryna is carrying,’ he rasped. ‘And I’ve warned her what will happen if she sees you again!’

  She paled at the veiled threat. ‘It’s only lunch, Raff——’

  ‘My wife of ten days lunching with my supposed best friend!’ he scorned, his hands clenched at his sides, although for their audience his expression remained pleasant enough. ‘Most people would say the honeymoon bed hadn’t had time to cool!’

  ‘The way I heard it it didn’t even get lukewarm!’ Court challenged, his own anger evident now, then he turned to give Bryna an apologetic look as she gasped. ‘I’m sorry, Bryna, but——’

  ‘That can easily be remedied,’ Raff bit out between clenched teeth. ‘Starting tonight!’

  ‘Raff, you can’t mean that!’ She looked up at him with haunted eyes, sure that to have him make love to her out of anger would be worse than the charity she had been imagining it would be.

  ‘Oh, can’t I?’ he challenged, looking at her with disgust. ‘Why don’t we wait and see what I can or can’t do!’

  Bryna watched him as he strode across the restaurant to rejoin the people he had obviously arrived with, three men she didn’t recognise, and Stuart Hillier; she wondered what they had all made of his abrupt departure seconds ago.

  ‘I can’t believe it,’ Court said dazedly. ‘I’ve never seen him like this before.’

  She had never seen anyone as angry as Raff had been a few minutes ago. It had been worse than the night nine days ago, worse than all the days since; he had been totally out of control.