by K. A Knight
Sands below, when was the last time I had a drink? I stare longingly at the cup and a snort comes from behind me before Maxen rounds the table, grabs a glass and pours me one, leaving it in front of me and slouching in the now free chair next to mine. My other men take that as an invitation and go and find a seat, all but Drax.
He kicks back my chair and waits. I throw him and look, and he hikes his thumb in the air, gesturing for me to stand. I do as I am told, and he slumps in the chair before grabbing my hip and pulling me into his lap. Rolling my eyes, I get comfy and face a grinning Nan.
“Don’t fucking start,” I warn, narrowing my eyes.
“Ah girly, I wouldn’t say a thing,” she jokes, pushing the whiskey bottle to the middle, so we can all reach. Major doesn’t grab a glass but everyone else does.
“You look tired,” she adds, and I nod. “Aye, when this is all through, ya need to go back to ya old job. A lot less madness.” I arch my eyebrow, really? My last job was so much easier than trying to save the world? No fucking shit lady.
“Dunnie give me tha look, girly. Anyway, I need ya to come back and take care of them city boys.” She spits the last and I freeze with the drink halfway to my mouth, dropping it back to the table with a bang. I lean forward, making Drax groan quietly.
“City boys?” I demand, and she waves her hand in the air.
“That’s what I fuckin said didn’t I? Fucking boys came from tha cities and started causing chaos in my place. Threatened my men and even the whores, some people left, and others are laying low.”
“Why are they here? That can’t be good,” I say, grinding my teeth.
“Aye, first we sort that prick out tho’.”
I nod and offer her a smile. She toasts me with her glass and I do the same before knocking back my drink. She shuffles to her feet, grabbing her shotgun on the way. “I’m goin’ to piss off that bastard again, see if I can’t shoot him.” With that she shuffles out the door leaving me worried about what I might find when we reconvene.
Thorn reaches out this time and fills my glass, pushing it towards me with a soft smile. I smile back and play with the glass, trying to think everything through. We haven’t really got anywhere, just more squabbling than anything, and the way they are pushing me I know I need some advice from Major. I turn to ask him when his voice comes out quiet, soft, and filled with pain.
“I had a daughter.” I freeze and swing my eyes to him to see him looking at the table.
“I know,” I say equally as soft.
“Her name was Cara.” I don’t interrupt, I have asked him so many times about his past and he never opened up, so I have to wonder why he is now. “She was twelve when everything happened, it was her birthday. I was supposed to have been there.” He rubs his nose with his hand before reaching for a glass. Maxen fills one and passes it over without a word. I throw him a grateful look, which he returns with a soft smile.
“Her mother and I had split up when she was five. I wasn’t a great husband, but I loved Cara more than anything in the world. She was my little girl, my angel, my chance at being a better person, at giving someone a better life than I had. I worked hard, day and night to make sure that happened. To make sure she never went hungry like I did, or had to wear threadbare second-hand clothes, that she could have anything she wanted. I never realised all she wanted was me and that no amount of presents could make up for me not being in her life as much.”
He takes a deep breath and throws back the whiskey. Maxen reaches out and instantly refills it for him, we all can hear his pain and we all have our own stories. Sometimes you need to get them off your chest, so the best thing you can do for someone is just listen and be there.
“Her mum remarried, he was a good guy. Boring, an accountant, but good. He loved my daughter and never showed me anything but kindness, even when I was an asshole to him. I saw the way my daughter’s eyes lit up when he was around, and I hated it. They had become the perfect family. I started not seeing her as much, until I was only a stranger that sent her gifts. I worked my way to the top, I was a lawyer. I became CEO, I got distracted by the money and the lifestyle. I took bribes, I framed innocent people... anything to make the next deal and money.” His voice cracks and tears swim in his eyes as he raises them to mine. “But I loved her, she was my light. The thing I did it all for, I stained my soul, so she wouldn’t ever have to… and look what it got me. That money didn’t help in the end, it didn’t save her,” he finishes.
“What happened?” I ask, leaning back and letting Drax offer me some comfort.
“She died. When it all started going to shit, I got in my ridiculously expensive car and drove like a mad man, my only thought of getting to her. I knew where she would be, I had received an invite to her birthday party. Her mum told me all she wanted this year was for me to be there, not a present. Just me.” He starts to play with his glass as he talks, and I find myself entrapped in his heartbreak.
“I got there an hour later, my car broke down halfway and I had to fight my way through the chaos and panic, but I got there. This stupid restaurant with balloons outside. The door had been broken in the rush for people to leave, and a body littered the car park as if someone had run him over to get away, as if they could outdrive this thing.”
“Major, you don’t have to–” He cuts me off with a look and I snap my mouth shut.
“When I got inside, I saw her. She looked so beautiful. She had on a black dress and converse high tops. I bet it drove her mum mad, but she was always different. All the other girls wanted dresses and Barbies, she wanted trucks and trousers. I loved her for it.” He throws back his drink again and pushes it to Maxen, who fills it and shoves it back. “There my little girl was, her mum sat beside her, her little face blank and numb, eyes empty as her mum rocked back and forth. She had lost a shoe, that’s all I kept thinking. I tumbled to my daughter’s side and fell to the floor where she laid, so still. I remember shaking her, screaming at her mum, but nothing worked. She was dead, my little girl was dead, wooden beam from the ceiling had fallen down with the quakes and crushed her. I slapped her mum, I screamed and raged as she sobbed. She told me that stupid bastard had left her, them, in the panic and she didn’t know what to do. She screamed at me that I should have been there. She pounded on my chest with her fists until she slid back to the floor in a heap.”
I can imagine it in my head, his words that vivid, and my heart hurts for the man I considered a father.
“It wasn’t fast, I wish I could say that it didn’t hurt. Everyone loves to hear that, but I knew the truth. She suffered, it was painful and long and no one saved her, even as she begged her mum for me. She was so young. Sometimes I wonder if it was for the best, what kind of life would she have lived in this world now? Would she be cold and heartless like her old man, would she have made it? I don’t know, so maybe it’s for the best.” His voice breaks as tears drip steadily down his face.
“What happened to her mum?” I ask, needing to know.
“She killed herself.” He throws the drink back again. “While I watched, she picked up a steak knife and slit her own throat. I held her for as long as I could, staunching the blood, but it pumped through my hands. When I came back to, her cold lifeless body was in my arms. I said goodbye, I kissed them both and laid them side by side before burning the place down. I didn’t care if it would have got me in trouble, I could not stand the thought of leaving them there. Then I wandered, uncaring whether I lived or died... but I did. I lived, I always figured there was a reason why, Cara was obsessed with meanings and all that spiritual crap. She told me once that I would know why I was in this life one day and I guess she was right.” His eyes meet mine, honest, open, and so full of pain and suffering that it rips my chest open. How can he hide all that, how can he function with all that in his chest?
“I survived for you, kid. So, I could save you, so I could help you. So, you could save whatever is left of this world, so you could have the life my daughter never had.
I lived so you could, and I thank my little girl every day for giving me that hope.”
Tears drop from my eyes mirroring his, but I don’t stop them even as Drax’s arms tighten around me. “I might not do anything amazing, I will never make up for my past, but I can help you. I can do that for her.”
It goes quiet as we all linger in his story and words. I always wanted to know and now that I do, I can’t help but love him more. He might not think he deserves to be forgiven or loved, but I do.
Blowing out a breath I knock back my drink. “Okay, crash course in rules.”
He snorts out a desperate sounding laugh but nods. “Yes, let’s help you stop the end of the world.”
I smile at him and he grins back, his eyes lightening and his tears drying up as he starts to outline everything I will need to know to keep me alive, and this Summit on track. I watch him as he talks, my heart aching for him. Now that I know what he lost, I can’t help but wonder what I would do––what I would become if I had gone through the same. Probably something a lot worse than him.
News from Home
“So we have agreed, waiting and seeing what Ivar will do is stupid. It puts us at a disadvantage and leaves us unprepared for the attacks he is obviously planning,” I say slowly, summing up what we have finally agreed on so far. I take measure as all the leaders reluctantly nod. At least we have agreed on one thing, now we need to figure out a plan of action.
“So Champion, what do we do about it?” Reeves asks, reclining in his chair and munching on some food he found.
“We need to make a plan, one that involves all the clans. It won’t work if we attack him on his own territory. He has too many protections in place, mines, and booby traps, not to mention warriors. We would be at a disadvantage again. We need to draw him out into the open, surround him, and then kill him. Cut off the head of the snake, and the rest will follow,” I say and I see Major grin at me.
“How da we get him in tha open, girly?” Nan asks, but a tightening around her eyes suggests she already knows.
“We use me as bait, give him the one thing he wants more than anything in the world. He won’t be able to resist.” I hear my men move but I throw them a glance and they nod, we can discuss it later, but it is the best course of action and I need to get them to see that. Surprisingly, Dray doesn’t protest, instead his hand lands on my leg under the table and starts feeling me up. Crazy bastard. Not that I kick him away.
“That’s all well and good, but what do the rest of us do? What if it's a trap? We are taking the risk and pinning all our hopes on a slave girl!” Reeves shouts, but I see Priest nod slowly and even Nan sighs.
“He’s right girly, we need a better plan.” She doesn’t apologize but she watches me grimly. Sands below, this is never going to work.
I lean my head back with a sigh as they all start arguing again.
For the hundredth time in the last four hours, I want to kill everyone. I under anticipated just how hard it would be to get five leaders to see eye to eye on a single subject. Nan is agreeing with me, as is Major, but Reeves is just disagreeing with me to be contrary and probably as payback for his man’s life. Priest is only adding in his crazy to stir it up and everyone is getting restless. Sands below, by the time we all agree, it will be too late. There will be no Wasteland left to save. Rubbing my head in exhaustion I try to think of a plan, it’s clear we are not going to agree today. Emotions are running too high and everyone is tiring.
“Call a recess until tomorrow,” Major whispers to me, his eyes still on the squabbling leaders.
“Huh?” I ask, dropping my hand from my head. I know some of the laws and rules when it comes to Summits, thanks to Major, but I didn’t have time to look them all up and it is becoming more and more clear as the meeting goes on… I am out of my depth.
“A recess, a break, until tomorrow, it is allowed to be called twice. It will give us time to regroup,” he murmurs when he realises no one cares what we are talking about.
“I can do that?” I ask, watching as Nan throws her hands in the air and leans over to yell in Reeves’s face.
“Yes, this is going nowhere. If we regroup tomorrow, hopefully emotions will have settled, and we will have more of a plan of attack,” he adds. I nod and turn back to the table, grateful again that he is by my side.
“That and they will have fucked, fought, and drank down their aggression,” I add with a sly smile.
“That too,” Major says with a laugh.
“I’m calling a recess,” I say, only to be ignored as they continue to argue with each other. Rolling my eyes, I go to yell when Maxen steps forward. I turn to eye him, but he is looking at everyone else.
Putting his fingers in his mouth he lets out a sharp short whistle, everyone shuts up and turns to us. With a nod, he steps back again, and I turn back to the leaders, remembering to thank him later.
“We are calling a recess, we will meet back here in the morning.” I see some relieved faces and still squabbling, Nan and Reeves walk from the room side by side. Priest offers me a nod before standing and righting his robes.
With one last look at me, he leaves as well. Dropping my head back against the chair I groan, long and loud.
“This is fucking hopeless,” I declare, feeling sorry for myself for one second.
“It could be worse, little queen,” Vasilisy says and I open one of my eyes to see him grinning down at me, he looks strange upside down.
“How?” I ask, curious.
He shrugs, “They could all be killing each other.”
I blink as a laugh tumbles out of me.
“True.” I sigh. My eyes snap open when fingers land on each side of my forehead and start rubbing. Looking up at Thorn I smile softly. I let out a low moan as he rubs away the tension and headache The Summit has caused.
“You will get through to them, Mi Alma,” Maxen adds.
“How?” I ask.
“If you can get through to us, if you can earn the respect of all the clans, if you can survive the unsurvivable, you can bring them together. You just need to be you,” Jax adds. Thinking through his words, I look at the wise brother, he can still be so quiet that sometimes I forget how smart he is.
“You mean I am not being me?” I say slowly, reading between the lines.
“Yes and no. You are playing to them, trying to keep the rules, but that’s not you. You are notorious for breaking them, so why would this be different?” With that bombshell, he smiles at me and leans back against the wall.
“He’s right. This diplomatic approach isn’t working, as crazy as it might be, you need to be you. Guns blazing and mouth cursing, show them what they are fighting for. Show them what they are fighting against,” Major says, reaching across and squeezing my arm before standing. “I am going to make sure those animals don’t destroy my ring.” He smiles at me before straightening his suit and leaving the room, leaving me with my men.
“Maxen, can you take the others to the housing? I need to think,” I say softly, letting him know I am not trying to get rid of him, I simply need my space and I can feel the looks boring into me.
“Of course, Mi Alma, we will meet you there.” He drops a kiss on my lips before herding everyone out. I can feel my men hesitate, but I don’t open my eyes. “I won’t be long,” I add and feel kisses dropped onto my head as they make their way out of the room. When the door shuts behind them I can breathe easier again. Peace at last.
“If you wanted to be alone with me, all you had to do is ask,” comes Dray’s voice from right next to me.
My eyes snap open in shock to see him next to me still. I thought he had left earlier, he was that quiet. Looking around the room I see it is just me and him.
I look back at him stupidly. “What are you still doing here?”
He grins, slouching back and rubbing his hand down his bare chest. “We need to talk about you disappearing. It won’t happen again,” he finishes, all casual like.
Gritting my teeth, I am
betting my eyes are spitting fire. “It’s not like it was a fucking choice! You crazy motherfucker…” I finish, holding on to the table as the anger that only Dray can stoke in me roars to life.
He shrugs, still calm, but I can see the anger and lust burning bright in his eyes. “I don’t care, I told you what would happen. Do it again and I will leave a bloodbath in my wake to get to you, and when I do, you will wish you had never left in the first place.” With that, he closes his eyes while I sit with my mouth flapping open and closed.
I don’t even know what to say, how do you respond to crazy? But it pisses me off, only adding to the shit day I have had, all the emotions blurring together until they explode.
I don't know what happens but one second, I am thinking about castrating him and the next second our lips are smashed together. I must have thrown myself across the table because my fist is raised. He holds it in his grip before he yanks me onto his lap as we fight each other for control with our tongues and lips. Biting his plump lower one, I pull on it until he groans. The anger and lust blooming in my chest twine together until I don’t know whether to fuck him or fight him. He pushes me hard, until my back slams into the edge of the table, I know it will leave a bruise but the fact he doesn’t care, or handle me gently, finally lets me break through the last barrier. Growling like a cannibal, I fling myself at him, he catches me at the last second, but the chair goes tumbling backwards until we meet the floor.
I dart in and bite his neck before rolling off him. With a snarl he follows me, slamming me back into the carpet and yanking my hands above my head. I hate the feeling, especially when I see the triumph in his eyes, glaring as his head lowers, I look around. When I spot my whip lying near my hands, I reach up with my fingertips. I just grasp the edge as he bites down hard into my neck, I let out a little scream and I know it's going to fucking scar. Fucking bastard, dog fucking–– Bringing up the whip I wrap it around one of his hands before wrapping it around the table leg, then I yank. I roll at the same time as he pulls against the restraint.
