This Life 1

by Cara Dee

  “Are you saying no to bug him or are you shy?” I teased Finnegan.

  “I’m definitely not shy.” At this point, he was half sprawled across the couch, and I had to look slightly over my shoulder to make eye contact. He was visibly relaxed and content, sipping his whiskey and sneaking little forkfuls of cake from my plate that was next to me.

  “But you are hiding. Is there something interesting going on back there?”

  He chuckled and raised himself up some, only to shift farther behind me and nearly nudge me off the couch. “Come here.” He leaned back against the armrest and lifted his arm. I chewed on my lip, glancing over at Sarah, who was talking to Patrick and Nessa.

  “Emilia.”

  I looked back at Finnegan, and he tugged me to him.

  “I don’t give a flyin’ fuck what the others might think.”

  Not the others. Only Sarah.

  Oh, screw it—goddammit, something was poking me again. It was the same freaking keys, only this time, they were in my own pocket. I pulled them out and was about to return them to Finnegan, but something stopped me.

  “How mad would you be if I stole your car?” I asked.

  He grinned. “You have no idea. Only I drive the Aston.”

  I smirked and dangled the keys. “I could jump up and run out to steal it right now.”

  “But you won’t.” To emphasize his certainty, he threaded his fingers together behind his head. “You wanna stay here with me and get cozy under the blankets.”

  I wasn’t afraid of Finnegan anymore, and what I really wanted was some payback. I wanted to show I had guts. I wanted to catch him off guard, for once. And it was now or never, it felt like. I could do it. Finnegan had a blanket twisted around his legs, he wasn’t in a very good position to charge, and he was too cocky to think I’d do a crazy thing like steal his car.

  I was barefoot and ready to go.

  I removed the crown from my head.

  There was no way I could resist. Before I even registered it, I’d bolted up and out of the barbecue area, and I was darting between the houses.

  “What’re you doing, Em?” Sarah called.

  “Emilia!” Finnegan shouted.

  I ran faster, my heart hammering, and felt the damp grass under my feet.

  I reached Finnegan’s car. The alarm gave a beep as I turned it off and opened the door.

  “Don’t you fucking dare, Emilia!”

  “Eeep!” I didn’t know he’d be so friggin’ fast.

  He was running toward me when I pushed the start button. Forgoing a seat belt, I hurried to rev the engine, and I swore my heart soared at the sensation. Holy shit, I’m doing this. A loud song began blaring out of the speakers. Bagpipes met furious drums and heavy bass. I estimated Finnegan would reach the car in about three seconds, so I carefully stepped on the gas, and the car jerked forward. Okay, okay, it was a sensitive speedster. Got it.

  Finnegan looked livid, caught in the headlights.

  I laughed madly and eased forward a bit more.

  Come at me, Irish boy.

  He pointed next to the car. “Get outta the goddamn car.” His growl was muffled but no less threatening.

  It didn’t matter.

  He had this coming.

  Raising two fingers, I gave him a salute, and then I was driving away from him, up toward the main house. A heavy breath gusted out of me, the adrenaline pumping freely. Both Finnegan and Patrick were visible in the rearview, once again running toward me. Suckers. I rounded the cul-de-sac and sped up. I passed them and their shouting and didn’t slow down until I reached the gates.

  I rolled down the window and pressed the key fob against the reader, and the gates opened.

  “Emilia, I swear to fucking Christ!” Finnegan yelled.

  “You shouldn’t swear!” I shouted back, buckling my seat belt. “Just ask Father O’Malley!”

  At that, the unmistakable sound of Patrick’s laughter filled the air.

  With the gates wide open, I flipped off the boys and floored it. The last thing I heard was Sarah’s cheer and Nessa’s “Best. Night. Ever!”

  I flew down the road with life in my heart and euphoria swirling in my head. My heart kept pounding, completely seduced by the adrenaline rush, and maybe Nessa was right. Maybe this was the best night ever. One thing was sure. I’d never felt like this before. It was fucking wild.

  Chapter 11

  Finnegan O’Shea

  “How fast are you gonna marry her, bro?”

  I blew out a harsh breath and watched as the taillights of my car became smaller and smaller. The girl was gunning it.

  “I’d give her my name tomorrow if I could.” I ran a hand through my hair, wondering where the fuck Emilia had come from. I was the one who’d barged into her life, yet she’d fucking blindsided me. She was nothing like I’d expected.

  She infuriated me, made me laugh, turned me on unlike anything else, and did weird shit to my chest. It seized up every time I saw her.

  Patrick looked over to where Alec and Nessa were lingering between the houses. Sarah wasn’t there. “Youse can get ready for bed, kids. It’s late.”

  Ness wasn’t happy. “I wanna see when Em—”

  “You heard him, doll,” I told her, pulling out my phone. “Is Sarah spending the night?”

  “Doubt it,” Pat replied dryly. “You think Em’s staying?”

  “She is if I have any say.” I pressed call on her number and put the phone to my ear. “You’ll get closer to your girl if you quit acting like a Jersey juicehead. She doesn’t care about your gym routine, big brother.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Patrick lit up a smoke.

  Emilia wasn’t answering, so I sent a text to my car. She’d see it popping up on the dashboard screen.

  Get back here right now.

  Christ, she’d actually taken my wheels. I couldn’t fucking believe her. Even as the anger continued to surge, I wasn’t sure it was directed at her. I was usually spot-on when reading people, except this time.

  “Em’s good for you,” Patrick noted. “You seem more like your old self lately.”

  I nodded, having realized that too. Being away from work in the city was frustrating the ever-loving fuck outta me, but she was making it easier to pass time. When I was around her, I didn’t think about the syndicate or my crew.

  “I wanna bring her to the city this weekend,” I said.

  His brows lifted. “To meet the folks?”

  “Yeah. You think it’s too soon?”

  He shook his head. “Ma will adore her.”

  I fully believed that too. More than that, I believed it would help sway Emilia. The girl needed family, and I could give her that.

  “Patrick.” It was Sarah, appearing between the houses with her purse. To be honest, I was having a difficult time reading her too. Fuck, this was gonna put a dent in my ego. I couldn’t decide if she’d be good for my brother. “It’s getting late, and I think I’d like to leave.”

  I observed her and lit up my own smoke.

  “You don’t wanna stay?” Patrick rubbed the back of his neck. “Em will probably be back soon, and you two can share a guest room if you want.”

  Nah, fuck that. I wanted Emilia a lot closer and a lot more to myself.

  “No, thank you.” Sarah cleared her throat and hugged herself a bit. It was probably cold in that dress, something my oblivious brother should pay attention to. “I expect Finnegan to drive Em home when she returns. I’ll wait up for her.”

  You might have to wait a while.

  I narrowed my eyes and took a slow drag, realizing Sarah could be any girl—one that I ended up with. She wasn’t frigid or ungrateful; she was savvy and in it solely for the payout. In that respect, she was smart. Maybe smarter than Emilia. But was it really about brains? Or was it about the fact that Emilia might be awakening a new side of herself?

  She stole my fucking car and had attitude. I just needed to dig it up a bit more and see what else was revealed. Unlike S
arah, Emilia had emotions involved, and I craved every ounce of them.

  I’d have to keep my eye on Sarah, even though Emilia was the one who thought she was helping the Feds.

  Patrick wanted Sarah to stay, that much was clear, but he wasn’t gonna push it. He told her he’d get his keys.

  Sarah nodded in thanks, and then it was the two of us.

  I tilted my head. “You’re a calculating one, aren’t you?”

  Her head snapped up, and she jutted her chin. “Excuse me?”

  I cracked a smirk, my mind spinning further. Whereas Emilia had been neglected and made to feel worthless by her son of a bitch father, Sarah had been pushed physically and abused. Emilia was raw, confused, and lost. Sarah was closed off, didn’t trust anyone, and felt she only had herself.

  I wasn’t sure Patrick could break through her shell.

  I was more grateful than ever that I hadn’t ended up with someone like Sarah, but I felt for her. Never being able to rely on anyone else was no way to live.

  “Never mind.” I checked my phone and exhaled some smoke. No response from my little car thief. “I’ll return Emilia to you when she’s ready.”

  “If you hurt a single hair on her head—”

  “You’ll what?” I smiled. “Sarah, the last thing I wanna do is hurt her.”

  She snorted derisively. “Words mean absolutely nothing.”

  “Including your empty threat, then.” I nodded at Patrick coming out of the house. “Your ride’s here.”

  She gave me a once-over, the disdain clear, then turned on her heel and aimed for Patrick’s car.

  I laughed through my nose before jerking my chin at Patrick. “Let me know if you see my car wrapped around a tree.” Shite. I’d meant it as a joke, but now I couldn’t help but worry that Emilia might get hurt. She’d had a few drinks, and I could guarantee she’d never driven anything that could go from zero to sixty in under four seconds. “Motherfucker, I’m too young to get grays,” I blurted out irritably. “She’s gonna give them to me, mark my words.”

  Patrick laughed and opened the door to his car. “Calm your tits, Finn. I bet she’s just taking it for a spin on the highway.”

  “That’s supposed to make me feel better?” I asked incredulously. “Get the fuck outta here.”

  He felt the need to laugh harder than before.

  Half an hour later, I was about to flip my shit. The only thing that kept me from going out to chase her down was the text my brother had sent me. Emilia and Sarah had been in touch, and Emilia was on her way back.

  I said goodnight to the kids and distracted myself by clearing away from the birthday dinner.

  The dishes went to Pat’s place. The leftover cake and food somehow ended up in my fridge.

  My phone buzzed with a message from Kellan, and I flinched. Had Emilia really reported the events from her own birthday?

  It shouldn’t bother me. I’d lied to her a fuckload, painting myself as a more upstanding guy, and I hadn’t told her about her mother.

  I made a face and opened the text.

  Congrats, ya gobshite. She said the date tonight was canceled.

  “Fuck me sideways.” I scrubbed a hand over my mouth, pure pleasure coursing through me. Followed by enough guilt to make me wince. At some point, I’d have to come clean to Emilia about Kellan. I loved him like a brother, and he had earned my trust repeatedly. It was only a matter of time before she discovered the truth.

  And her mom…? How would I break that to her?

  “More like when,” I muttered to myself, and the answer was after the wedding.

  At the sound of a car entering the premises, I stalked out of my house, though I could hear it was the Jeep.

  “The twins asleep?” Patrick locked up and nodded toward his house.

  “They’re in bed anyway. You didn’t see Emilia, I take it?”

  “Afraid not—”

  “Hold on.” Just as the gates closed, I spotted a set of headlights. “Can you open the gates for me?”

  Patrick and I jogged down there, and soon they were sliding open again. Emilia was idling some seventy-five feet away.

  “You sure it’s her?” he asked.

  “Of course I am.” Unless someone happened to be driving a car with headlights that close to the ground, it was her.

  “Okay. I’m heading inside.” He clapped me on the shoulder. “You’re strapped in case, yeah?”

  “Don’t be so paranoid.” I gave him a two-finger wave, and then I was walking out the gates.

  Blinded by the headlights, I saw very little around me. The forest was pitch black, and the car wasn’t more than a shadow behind two lights.

  I was strung tight with anticipation. Impatient to make her mine. Pissed she took my fucking car. Proud for the same reason.

  I took a final drag from the smoke, then flicked it away, and I was finally close enough to see the silhouette of her behind the wheel. Her hands were gripping it tightly. Nervous? Christ, I’d never get her out of my head, would I?

  Not a scratch on the car as far as I could see. I brushed a hand along the hood until I was within reach to rap my knuckles on her window.

  She lowered it a few inches and swallowed hard, and I rested my forearm on the roof, bending over slightly to get a better look at her expression. And it was a sucker punch right in the gut to see a hint of something feral in her eyes. It mingled with a dose of nerves, and it was sexy as fuck.

  My mouth twisted up. “License and registration, please.”

  Her eyes narrowed briefly. “What if I don’t have it with me?”

  “Then I’m gonna have to ask you to step out of the car, ma’am.”

  Her façade broke, and a soft laugh slipped out. “I can’t picture you as an officer.”

  “And I couldn’t picture you as a car thief, yet here we are.” I took a step back and folded my arms over my chest. “Get your sweet ass out here, princess.”

  She unbuckled her seat belt with a huff, then opened the door. Without her heels on, she was shorter than short, and she put her hands on her hips and stared up at me with half a scowl.

  “I’ll have you know I had a perfect reason to borrow it,” she said stubbornly. “You’re not allowed to get pissy.”

  “I’d love to hear that reason.” I felt like a ticking time bomb, every part of me tense.

  Had I ever seen something so exquisite? Her long, dark waves teased her hips, the fire was growing in her eyes, and she was just so fucking adorable. Like a feisty kitten, but one that could potentially cause some actual harm.

  I was ready to eat her up.

  She lost a bit of her bravery when I caged her in, my hands on the roof of the car. Her gaze flickered.

  “Go on. I’m listening.” I leaned in and grazed my nose along her jaw.

  She trembled and flushed. “I-I…I wanted to know what it was like to drive it.”

  I eased off a bit, and it was my turn to narrow my eyes. I admit, I got irritated. “You could’ve asked, Emilia.”

  Just like that, her nervousness was gone. “But then it wouldn’t have been a surprise, Finnegan.” She pushed at my chest, and I backed off more. “Now I don’t have to ask. Now I can tell you that it was un-fucking-believable to drive your car.” Fuck me sideways twice. She gave me another shove, only to advance on me. “Are you surprised yet?”

  More than she’d ever know. At the third shove, I turned the tables and pushed her back up against the car. I dipped down and covered her mouth with mine, swallowing her shock, and gave up on my heart rate. It was determined to skyrocket around this girl.

  After the initial surprise that turned her into a stick, she melted into my arms and kissed me back. I cupped her jaw, sliding my tongue into her mouth, and she threw her arms around my neck.

  “How fast did you go?” I asked, out of breath. My self-control took a hike, and I got a grasp of the backs of her thighs before hitching her up, wrapping her legs around me. “Tell me.” I pressed my cock against her.
>
  She gasped and exhaled a moan. “Ninety-five.”

  Fuck. Yes.

  “That’s my girl.” I kissed her deeply, coaxing her tongue out with my own. “You’ll break one hundred next time.”

  “Oh God, it was amazing.” She started panting, and fuck me if she didn’t try to pull me closer. “I felt like I was flying, and—shit,” she whimpered as I gave her a slow, hard thrust and sucked on her neck. “The engine…so powerful… It was exhilarating and terrifying—ungh, please, Finnegan.”

  Hearing her talk, all breathy and desperate, turned me into a starved madman. A storm brewed inside me, tightening a knot in my stomach, and my cock almost hurt. She was exhilarating to me.

  My teeth grazed her delicate skin. “Please, what? Tell me what you want, baby. I’ll give it to you.”

  At her helpless, soft, “I don’t know,” I got a reality check. I swallowed dryly and hauled in a much-needed breath. As much I wanted to take this further, I didn’t want there to be any regrets. For either of us.

  “Spend the night with me,” I whispered. “Not—not like that. Sleep in my bed. I won’t let things go too far.”

  She shivered in my hold and flicked me an uncertain look. The conflict was written all over her, and I was ready for it to be gone.

  Her flushed cheeks and the desire in her eyes lingered, only now she was more nervous than before.

  “You can’t fight this forever, Emilia.” I kissed her again, slower this time. “You feel this, don’t you? This, happening between us? It can’t be just me.”

  Her fingers shook, and she played with the hair at the back of my neck. She nodded jerkily and lowered her gaze. “I feel it, but I’m afraid to get played. This could all be part of some elaborate—”

  I kissed her to shut her up. “Everyone risks that when they meet someone. Fear of getting betrayed and left behind? That’s not unique to our situation.” I touched her cheek and searched her eyes. My gut told me her guard had never been lowered like this with me, and I had to take advantage. I had to get her to say yes. If not to my proposal, then to spend more time with me. “Give me one night—”