by B. N. Toler
“Been doing pushups.” He shrugs as he grabs a towel from behind the sofa and starts patting himself with it.
“I’m sick.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” he says dryly.
I’m too exhausted to roll my eyes at his terrible bedside manner. “I’ve lost my gift. I’m going to die.”
“No. We’ll have none of that.” He lifts me into his arms and I don’t protest because I have no ability to. He carries me across the length of the room. “I need you to trust me.”
“Where are you taking me?”
“You need a bath and then we’ll get you fixed up.”
“I can’t take a bath, I can barely move.”
“I’ll take care of you, kitten. Don’t worry about anything.” I do trust him. I haven’t wanted to because so many in my past have hid things from me, lied to me, but Daniel was preparing me. Trying to train me so I’d be ready for the truth.
He brings me into his large bathroom and lays me on the floor while he turns on the faucet. The healthy version of me would have protested as he began to undress me, but in my current state, I honestly don’t care. He gently pulls my jeans off and rips open my shirt, stopping to stare at me. I can see there is something in his eyes, maybe a longing or a wanting, but it feels deeper than that. Once I’m undressed, he slips me into the tub and bathes me, washing my hair and body. His hands are gentle as he rubs the foamy soap over me while I lie with my head back, drifting in and out of consciousness. As awkward as I should feel, I’m grateful for his kindness and his soft touch. The next thing I know, I’m lying on his bed in the same bathrobe I wore the first night he brought me here. I look up to see Daniel sitting beside me, staring down at me. Before I can speak he pulls me up and sits me on his lap, facing him.
He takes my face in his hands and forces me to look at him. “No more of this. You either drink from me now, or I’ll spell you.” He tilts his head to the side, giving me better access to his neck.
My fangs erupt as the agonizing burn of hunger torches my belly. I can’t fight him this time. I need his blood. Seizing his neck, I let out a loud moan as his blood sends shocks through my body. I close my eyes, savoring his taste, the strength that echoes in it, the boldness that swirls on my tongue. He tastes amazing and it’s almost as if tasting his blood allows me to see into his soul. His blood is pure, aged to perfection, rich with intensity.
His hands grip me at my rib cage and I feel them tense. I’m taking too much of his blood. I coax myself into releasing my fangs and sit up.
We stare into each other’s eyes as lust forms like a thick fog in his gaze causing mine to follow suit. I want him. I want him now.
“Not yet.” He pushes me onto the bed and stands.
I plop back on the pillow. I won’t argue with him. I will have Daniel. This isn’t desperation; this is what I know. He wants me. I feel it in his touch, I see it in his eyes, and I can taste it in his blood. He will be mine and I will be his. All I can do now is let him take charge.
“There are things to consider, kitten. We’ve had each other’s blood. The moment I drank from you we became tied, entwined.”
“I felt it,” I answer simply, realizing although I’m still weak, I’m feeling better. My hand isn’t throbbing like it was. “Something in your blood awakened me. Made me feel emboldened, made me feel possessed. When you had mine it felt like a part of me was missing unless you were nearby.”
“I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“I know what I want Daniel. Do you?” I ask, terrified he’ll say it’s not me, even though I know deep down it is me he wants.
“Yes.” He stares down on me with his gray eyes causing my blood to rush between my legs. Yes, he wants me. “We shouldn’t until everything is cleared.” He slides a wide palm down his face.
“What does that mean?”
“It means it’s time for you to tell me the truth.”
“Will you tell me the truth?”
“I’ll tell you what I can.” That’s not the answer I was hoping for, but at least it’s a start.
For the next two hours, Daniel sits on the bed, facing me as I lie on my back. His hand rubs the inside of my thigh, consoling me, letting me know it’s safe to tell him my story. I tell him everything about my brothers, about Lucy and how she died, about Thomas, about my yearlong coma and my gift to absorb information. I tell him about Rhett, which is hard. I love Rhett and I admit that to him, but I clarify how I feel about that love. I make sure Daniel knows although Rhett will always be in my heart, it is him I want, more than anything. I don’t use the word love with Daniel; I’m not sure if he’s ready to hear it. But the truth is I do love Daniel, but it’s more than that. Love is a word people toss around so casually. What I feel for Daniel goes so much deeper. My need for him runs thick in my blood; it’s in my bones.
I tell him about Lucas and how he walked my dreams and made love to me, disguising himself as Thomas. His jaw tenses and his eyes flicker with rage, but he remains quiet, continuing to stroke my leg while he listens to me. When I’m done he stares at me for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face, before he leans down and kisses me.
“So you’ve offered this beautiful body of yours to two different men in the ‘real world’ and they didn’t take you? God, I’m such an asshole. You thought I was rejecting you, too.”
I try to laugh even though the thought shames me. “I guess I have the wrong kind of hybrid sex pheromone. I repel men.”
He takes my chin and pulls it so I’m looking at him. “Understand this. I want you.” His eyes are fierce and direct, warning me not to argue. “I’m just scared what will happen to me afterwards.” His admission floors me.
“What?”
“I’ve never felt like this about anyone. Being with you will change me, make me a jealous-crazed fuck over you.”
“Is that really the reason?” I ask, not buying his excuse.
“One of many. It’s complicated.” He lies down beside me, our arms touching, both of us staring up at the ceiling.
“Isn’t everything complicated?” I sigh thinking about how drastically my life has changed since Lucy died, then Rhett’s anger with me, Thomas’s return to my life, and my attraction to Daniel. Complicated is an understatement.
“I spoke with your aunt once.” He blurts it out as if it’s been trapped on the tip of his tongue, burning to escape his mouth.
I turn my head to him. “You said you didn’t know her.”
“I didn’t know her. She contacted me and told me about you. She said your mother was bitten right before you were born. There was some confusion about if it would have affected you or not since it happened minutes before your delivery. You were five when she called me. She sensed something was different about you. I told her she needed to hand you over to me and let me place you somewhere safe, but she refused. She said you were her family and she wouldn’t just hand you over.”
That sounds like Lucy. Always keeping us together.
“She said she would contact me when you finished school, after you were eighteen.”
I turn on my side to face him. “So you’ve been expecting me?”
“No, not really, but if she were going to help you, it’s me she would’ve sent you to. I’m the only one of our kind that seeks out new hybrids and trains them.”
“How old are you?”
He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly and I can tell he’s worried about how I’ll take his answer. “I’ve been a hybrid for almost two thousand years.”
I gawk at him. “Really?”
He sighs heavily, still staring at the ceiling. “I’ll spare you a very long story and tell you the important parts.”
In other words, he’ll skip the part he doesn’t want to talk about. I make a mental note to ask him for that part of the story at a later date. One of the biggest questions I’ve had since I saw Andre and Daniel together is, why does Andre trust him? He has to know what Daniel is. Daniel has a heartbeat a
nd he’s a vampire. That also means he knows Daniel is far more powerful.
“Why does Andre trust you so much, even when he knows you’re a hybrid?”
“I’ve been involved with this nest for a very long time. A vampire named Sebastian used to run it on the West Coast, but when he wanted to terminate the healer reproduction program, a rebellion occurred, and he was overthrown.”
“He didn’t want to breed healers anymore?”
“Originally, the idea was to keep the healer bloodlines strong for feeding, but Sebastian wised up and figured out he was creating his own demise.”
“I don’t understand.”
“If the healer ratio continued to grow, so would the blood healer ratio, hence he was inadvertently phasing out his own race.”
I sit up, wincing as I apply pressure to my broken hand. I eye my burn and cut. The burn is still quite visible, but the cut has healed, and Andre’s bite marks are completely gone. Daniel must have noted my discomfort. “You need more blood. I’d give you more of mine, but I haven’t fed since yesterday.”
“I thought your blood would heal me.”
He pushes himself up so his back is leaning against the headboard. His broad chest and defined abs bulge out. “You’ve been very sick and you haven’t fed in weeks, like I told you that you needed to. In essence, you’ve been weakened back to your truest form.”
“Truest form?”
“Human. A normal human would have died from blood poisoning, and without your healer powers, your hand would never heal from that break.”
“So what happened with Sebastian?” I get back to his story.
“He was overthrown. There was an election. Andre and two other vampires were nominated. I learned quickly when I was brought to that nest to keep my enemies close. Andre was the most vicious of them all, but he was also power hungry and stupid. I helped him get elected because I knew he would be the easiest to take down.”
“So he thinks of you like a brother, but really you’re playing him?”
“Basically.”
My mind turns over the information Daniel has shared with me, when a thought occurs to me. “Why wouldn’t you have helped Sebastian if he wanted to stop breeding healers?”
“Vampires are driven by their greed. Sebastian was a rarity within the race. He saw the bigger picture. I couldn’t have helped him. I didn’t have enough reinforcements to defend him against the nest at that time. My only choice was to ally myself with Andre and work from there.”
“So that means you’ve stood by idly and watched countless women get raped and murdered while their children are taken to face the same fate?” My face feels numb as I say the words. That’s what Rhett meant about keeping me from Daniel’s group of murderers. I hold my breath waiting for his answer, hoping he will explain some other rational reason.
“There are always casualties in war, kitten,” he states plainly as if I should just accept that.
My vision blurs as anger burns through me. When it returns, he’s standing up, staring at me. “How many healers have you watched die, Daniel?”
“You’re missing the point.” He turns and grabs a shirt off of the floor before slipping it on.
“I think I’m quite clear on the point!” I hiss as I roll out of the bed and stomp to the bathroom. He catches me as I near the door and slams me against the wall.
“No, you’re not,” he growls in my ear, his warm breath tickling my skin. “I’m in this for totality. No matter what, they will always seek out healers for feeding. Our people will always be on the run, afraid of being found. It would be nice if I could save everyone, but I can’t. I live with that shit every day of my fucking life!”
Tears stream down my face and I push my body back hoping to gain enough space to slip out of his trap, but he presses harder into me. “You’re a murderer!” I scream. Before I know it he’s flipped me on the ground and is straddling me, holding my wrists, pinning my arms to my side. “Let me go!” I scream.
I wriggle underneath him, pain tearing though me as his grip rubs my burn and causes my broken hand to throb. The sash on my robe comes undone as I struggle, allowing the robe to open and expose my breasts. The bottom part covers me from the waist down from where Daniel’s weight sits on me. I stare up at him, breathless, my face heated with rage.
His eyes flicker, that heat behind gray screens. “Listen here, kitten. I’m not a murderer.” I turn my head away from him.
“I told you, I wouldn’t lie to you, or coddle you. You’ll get nothing but the truth from me. You can mosey around and pretend saving one or two lives while hundreds of others die is noble, or you can see sometimes we must lose some to save many. Saving a few won’t stop the vampires from existing.”
I turn back to him and his eyes are fixed on me, gray steel imprinting on my brain. “My mother was murdered by that nest.” I don’t sob, my voice doesn’t crack when I say the words, but I feel the warmth of the tears streaming down my face.
“Yours and many others, kitten.” He removes his grip from my wrists and wipes my tears with his thumbs. It reminds me of Rhett, minus Rhett’s magnificent cool tingle. “I have a plan and I need your help.”
“I can’t play along with this, Daniel, not while I know so many are suffering.”
“Then you’ll help me.” He lifts off of me and offers a hand to help me up. I try to stare at his face, and not the erection that’s pitched a tent in his pants.
I immediately shut myself in the bathroom while he speaks at me through the door.
“You want to kill Andre. I have an opportunity. Four nights from now.”
I grab my jeans and slide them on, realizing my shirt and bra are ripped. “What opportunity?” I snap as I grab a towel and wrap it around my chest.
“His birthday party. I’m throwing it at the club.”
I whip the door open and push past him. “Oh, because the last time I danced for him went so well. I got fed on and nearly raped,” I mutter. “How is that an opportunity to kill him?”
He follows me as I grab my coat from the living room. “You were weak. You will continue to feed and gain your strength and Andre won’t be able to hypnotize you.”
I stop and turn back to him slowly. “Did you know that was going to happen, Daniel? Did you know I was weak and he’d do that to me?”
“You refused my help. Twice. I told you what would happen if you didn’t drink blood.”
“Funny. I must have missed the part where you explained a vampire would be able to hypnotize me and rape me!” I roar.
“You seem to be the kind that learns from your own mistakes; a full-time student at the school of hard knocks. I’d say you learned a real lesson.”
Before I realize what I’m doing, I’ve whirl around and punch Daniel squarely in the jaw. “You’re an asshole!” I moan in agony as I step back shaking my hand. I used the same hand I punched Jamie with the night before. It was feeling better after feeding from Daniel, but now it’s throbbing again.
He smiles condescendingly, not fazed by my hit. “You really are like a child,” he snorts. I feel like the male version of Sarah is speaking to me now. He’s been so busy telling me how weak I am physically, I guess this is the part where he tells me I’m weak all together.
“Fuck you,” I snarl, holding my hand close to me, biting back the groans of pain I want to bellow out.
“You’re getting ready to, but like I said—we need to clear things up.” Before I know it, he’s holding my hand and bending it, pushing his energy into me, easing the pain.
My mouth hangs open as I gawk at him. How can I be so angry with him and turned on by him at the same time?
His lips curve as he drops my hand. “I think you’ll live.”
I jerk around and find my coat lying on the floor near the sofa. I force my body towards it even though all it wants to do is jump on Daniel like a spider monkey and ravage his body.
Daniel watches me shrug my coat on over top of the towel still wrapped around m
e. “I doubt you could handle it anyway. Your lack of experience and inability to accept what is might get you hurt. Things could get rough.” I’m not sure if he’s talking about the plan to kill Andre or sex, but I try to move away from any discussions of sex.
“So, what’s your plan?” I still can’t say why, but I trust Daniel. I do know we are the same. I feel it. The moment we touched, the first night we met, it was as if he awakened a sleeping beast within me. I hate to need him, but I do. I need him to teach me about what I am and how to exist as such. But mostly, I need him because he wants what I want. To kill Andre. There’s also another need is growing within me each day that passes. A need or want I can’t entirely understand because Daniel isn’t at all the kind of guy I would go for. He’s an ass for starters. He’s also arrogant and constantly pointing out how dumb he thinks I am, but I still want him. That need to be with him is beginning to consume me. No matter what, I do trust Daniel because he lets me stumble even if he gives me a big I told you so afterwards.
Who else do I have to help me in my efforts? Rhett is obviously less than enthused about my goal, and I wonder if he’ll ever speak to me again. I thought maybe Thomas was on my side, but he’s just been playing along, pretending. Corbin just wants his wife back. He could care less what happens to the nest. Carter seems to be on the same page, but he only supervises. He’s not on the forefront, grinding on repulsive vampires to get close to them. He’s not like Daniel having to pretend to be so close to someone he despises.
“Andre has twelve trusted associates, including myself. They’re the oldest and strongest vampires in the nest. He never travels with all twelve, but they will all be there for his party.” Daniel crosses his arms.
“How am I supposed to kill him and twelve—”
“Eleven,” he corrects me.
“Eleven vampires?” I plop down on the couch as we go back and forth.
“You’ll kill him. Me, our hybrids, and some of the other blood healers I’m in alliance with will take care of the eleven.”
“He doesn’t know the other hybrids?”
“Only Bridge. The others do recon, watch from a distance and report to me. Sometimes I have them watch other nests throughout the country to gain intelligence for future plans.”
