Warring Desires (The Herod Chronicles Book 3)

by Wanda Ann Thomas

  CHAPTER 28

  The moon cast a soft glow over the waist-high, rock-walled mule pen. Shoshana rubbed her arms against the evening chill. Restless with worry about Gabriel and Leonidas, she was in no hurry to retreat to her cavern bedchamber. She’d wait and accompany Big Lev and Jacob inside after they completed the evening chores.

  A tall dark shadow moved toward her. The mules stirred. The familiar outline of broad shoulders and a lion-like mane of hair made her pulse leap.

  Gabriel! Thank the heavens he was safe and sound. She rushed around the rock enclosure, and stopped short. The lack of letters from Gabriel the past two weeks gave her pause. Was he here to tell her he’d had a change of heart? “Is Leonidas with you?”

  Gabriel kept his distance. “He stayed behind to recover from a minor wound.”

  Her stomach knotted at the idea that Gabriel had been exposed to those same dangers of battle. “A war wound?”

  Strain showed in the lines around his eyes. “He’ll carry a scar. And he won’t be able to serve as a priest now.”

  She reached for him, then drew her hand back. “How are you? You look exhausted.” The powerful attraction she felt for Gabriel hadn’t diminished one jot, but she couldn’t help but wonder if the letter she had written to him with Anina’s help had diminished his opinion of her. At the time, she’d been proud of the blotchy squiggles she’d produced with painstaking effort, but winced now recalling the childish scribblings. Gabriel might be dressed in coarse soldier’s clothes, but his sturdy attire did nothing to diminish his regal glory. His manners, demeanor, and features remained as princely as ever.

  Gabriel’s brow furrowed. “Was it presumptuous of me to come to your home with no warning?”

  Rahm’s taunts rang in her ears. Gabriel’s first wife was young and beautiful, a gem of the highest quality. He will tire of you quickly. Where will you be then? The gulf in circumstance seemed more like a bottomless chasm. Why would a rich, entitled Sadducee choose the granddaughter of a mule train driver, when he could have any woman he wanted?

  She clasped her trembling hands. “I don’t want you to feel obligated by words you might have come to regret.”

  Gabriel’s eyes clouded. “Are you angry with me for interfering with your mule train operation? I was going to give it to your grandfather as part of the wedding contr...“ He swallowed. “Do you want me to leave?”

  She flinched at the pain and vulnerability in his eyes. Anina’s accusation pricked at Shoshana’s conscience. Maybe the problem is you can’t see past Gabriel’s rich robes and beautiful face...Nehonya doesn’t have a high-and-mighty bone in his body. And neither do his sons.

  She was proud of her grandfather and nephews, and didn’t feel a need to make apologies for them because they couldn’t read and they worked with mules. Why was she so certain Gabriel couldn’t look past her humble origins and homespun tunics? She was doing him a grave injustice.

  She touched his fisted hand. “An hour doesn’t pass that I don’t regret not insisting on a kiss when we parted.”

  He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. “Your letters sustained me during some difficult days.”

  She brushed a knuckle along his cheekbone. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  His lips skimmed her temple. “Not while I owe you a kiss.”

  Desire curled through her. She pressed closer and circled her arms around his neck. His wide mouth covered hers, and he kissed her tenderly and lovingly.

  Undone, she deepened the kiss, tasting of his mouth and burying her hands in his thick, dark hair. Gabriel made a sound of approval deep in his throat and pressed his mouth more firmly to hers.

  “Aunt Shosha,” Jacob said from close at hand, his young voice cracking. “What’s he doing here?”

  Gabriel and Shoshana broke apart.

  “Is that any way to greet a guest?” Shoshana said, heat rushing to her face. Who was she to reprimand her nephew when the last thing she should be doing is kissing Gabriel in the middle of the yard, for anyone to see and condemn.

  Jacob glared back, pinch-faced. “We don’t need you here, stealing everything from us.”

  “Jacob,” Shoshana said gently. “Gabriel is an honorable man.”

  “I don’t want to steal anything from you,” Gabriel replied, voice patient, but wearing a troubled look.

  “Go back to Jerusalem!” Jacob yelled. “We don’t want you here.” Then he stomped away.

  Shoshana sighed. She wished she knew what was troubling her nephew. “I’m sorry. Jacob isn’t usually rude.”

  Gabriel shrugged. “I have young brothers. I remember how difficult that age can be.”

  Big Lev strolled toward them. “Gabriel, how long will you stay? Where’s Leonidas?”

  “Leonidas needed to remain behind to heal,” Gabriel said, then looked at her and frowned. “I can’t stay long. Herod is leaving for Samaria early tomorrow morning to lead his army north to Samosata.”

  “That far?” Shoshana said, unsettled.

  “I’ve heard the rumors,” Big Lev said. “Herod plans join Mark Antony and help the Roman army push the Parthian army out of the region.”

  Gabriel stared north, grim-faced. “I don’t cherish the prospect of going north and fighting on behalf of Rome. But I would do the same thing if I was Herod.”

  Big Lev’s brows rose. “You would?”

  “Herod has Antony to thank for being named king,” Gabriel explained. “It was no small thing when Antony sponsored Herod before the Roman Senate. It’s wise of Herod to keep Antony’s favor.”

  She rubbed her chilled arms. “Come inside and I will pour you a mug of spiced wine.”

  Gabriel put his hand on Big Lev’s shoulder. “I need a few moments alone with Shoshana.”

  Big Lev looked to her.

  “Could you talk to Jacob and find out why he is so unhappy?” she asked.

  Big Lev nodded and moved off.

  Cold at the thought of what she must do, she leaned back against the rock-walled mule enclosure holding the day’s absorbed warmth. The time had come to confess to the family’s underhanded dealings with Herod, but it was the last thing she wanted to do.

  Gabriel settled against the mule pen, his arm brushing hers. The chirping of insects filled the drawn-out silence. He cleared his throat. “Rahm told me he would give you a bill of divorce. When you are free, I want us to marry.”

  Her pulse leaped. She rejoiced at the confession, but more obstacles stood in their way than Rahm. “We can’t marry. It would ruin your reputation.”

  Gabriel turned to her. “My father was concerned for his reputation, and look where that led. I don’t care what others think.”

  Undone by his intense gaze, she moved into his arms. Wrapped in his strength and warmth, she felt a sense of belonging she’d never experienced before. “My good sense goes out the window in your presence.”

  “You make that sound like a bad thing,” he whispered.

  “You need to marry a young, highborn Jewess who can give you sons.”

  His thumb stroked her jaw. “I want you to be a mother to Helen and our children.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut. “My womb is probably barren, although the fault could lie with Rahm. His second wife hasn’t given him any children either, so his seed might be cursed. But there’s no way to know for—”

  “Shh,” Gabriel said, pulling her close. “Leave the cares of the future to the future.”

  She couldn’t imagine a happier fate than to marry Gabriel and have children of their own, but her childbearing years were quickly coming to an end. She looked up at the most graceful, handsome face she’d ever laid eyes on. “You could have your pick among any of the lovely maidens in Jerusalem.”

  His brow furrowed. “What if I married this paragon of a woman and we have a houseful of daughters? Or the baby bed remains empty? Or my wife fills my house with sons, but she harps more than a yapping dog. How kindly do you think I will look on your noble sacrifice then?” />
  Laughter burbled up. “Don’t jest.”

  He traced his finger along her jaw. “A perfect reputation and sons to carry the family name are commendable, but they are not vital to my peace and happiness. I want and need you.”

  The confession shivered down her spine. “You make marriage sound so wonderful, so easy.”

  “A life together would require sacrifices on both our parts. I don’t expect you to renounce Mt. Gerizim, but whether you do or don’t, there are many in Jerusalem who would never accept you. Any sons we had could not be priests.”

  “Will you be cast from the office of priest?”

  “Not officially. But I will be flogged for marrying a divorced woman, which could leave scars rendering me unfit to serve.”

  Her stomach sickened. “Flogged? I won’t allow you to suffer stripes on my account.”

  “Would you submit to a whipping if it meant we could be together?”

  She wrapped her arms around his strong body and held tight to him. “I’m afraid for you. I’m afraid for us.”

  He pressed soft kisses to the top of her head. “So you will marry me?”

  His humility in spite of his physical beauty and prestigious bloodlines remained a wonder and drew her heart like silken threads. She pulled back and stared into his amber-flecked eyes. “You have the goodness of ten men. I love you and will make any sacrifice necessary to call you husband.”

  His smile was glorious. “My heart and happiness will always be yours.”

  She brushed her nose across his cheek, inhaling his rugged scent, intoxicated by the mix of prince and warrior bound up in this man who loved her.

  “Shoshana,” he whispered, his lips skimming hers.

  Need for him filled her like a gnawing hunger after a long day traversing a rough mountain trail. She buried her fingers in his thick hair and pressed her mouth to his. Her insides heated and their lips slipped and slid together. She opened her mouth and his tongue swept across hers, sending a knee-weakening jolt to her core. They feed their hunger with desperate, impassioned kisses.

  Aching for him, she moaned as his hand moved down her body.

  Gabriel broke off the kiss.

  “How have I lived my years without this?” she panted. “I want more, so much more.”

  Breathing heavily, he rested his forehead against hers. “I know, and so do I. But I won’t take you here, beside your mule pen. You are a treasure to me. You deserve a soft marriage bed and a husband who doesn’t smell like a mule.”

  Unable to smile and despairing of ever knowing such happiness, she swallowed the taste of desire lingering on her lips. “Rahm knows about us. He confronted me. He will make outrageous demands before agreeing to sign the divorce decree.”

  Gabriel met her eyes. “Rahm will get his coins. But I will demand he leave this part of the world. I want to remove the stain of him from your life forever.”

  Needing the comfort of Gabriel’s warmth, she tried to press close, but he set her at arm’s length. “I am going to return to Herod’s quarters now, before my throbbing loins get the best of me.”

  “But—” More matters needed to be discussed. The family’s dishonest dealings with Herod. And the attempt to trap Rahm going awry. And Jacob’s unhappiness.

  “Shoshana, I need you to go back inside.”

  The strength of his longing rooted her in place. She wet her lips. ”When will—”

  “Go,” he said his voice a plea.

  She turned and fled, a tangle of elation and dread and desire speeding her feet.

  CHAPTER 29

  Two months after descending on the Syrian city of Samosata, Herod’s army, fighting alongside the Romans and Mark Antony, delivered a killing blow to the Parthian forces, putting an end to Parthia’s meddling in this part of the world.

  Armor and weapons stored away, Gabriel stood outside his tent massaging his sword arm. Sore and fatigued and ferociously hungry in the wake of having spent the whole of the previous day swinging his heavy sword, he was elated with the victory and anxious to start the journey back home. He and Shoshana had exchanged letters regularly, but he looked forward to a time when he could spend as much time as he pleased with her.

  Not that camp life was all bad. Strange as it seemed, the safe confines of the camp and the daily rhythm of camp life had begun to feel as familiar as the days he used to spend serving and worshiping at the Temple and synagogue. Mornings spent watching the camp come alive were his favorite.

  He wondered if Leonidas ever thought about his life in Jerusalem. Sitting on his haunches next to the cook fire, looking as dirty and tired and elated as the young, brash soldiers circling him, Leonidas appeared to have been born to this life. Giddy to be alive, they talked over each other, relating competing stories from the battle.

  Gabriel’s good mood was helped along by the news that a grateful Mark Antony had awarded Herod two more legions to assist him in the war against High Priest Hasmond, who was up against a wall now that Parthia had been defeated. And Herod was preparing to give his full attention to recapturing Jerusalem. Praise the heavens.

  Gabriel joined Leonidas and the others just as Commander Obodas trooped toward them, rubbing his thick neck. Gabriel had been concerned how their unit would fare without Nathan, who had returned to his olive farm. But Commander Obodas’s calm demeanor in the heat of battle and deadly accuracy with a sword proved he was every bit the worthy and capable leader Nathan was.

  “Are you getting enough fresh meat?” Obodas asked, inspecting the steaming kettle suspended over the fire.

  The young men nodded.

  Leonidas puffed his belly, and making a show of patting his stomach, he pointed at their camp slave. “I think Atticus put an entire goat in our pot.”

  Chuckles went around the circle.

  Grin fading, Commander Obodas turned his attention to Gabriel. “The King wants a word with you.”

  “Do you know why?” Herod had been acting decidedly chilly toward Gabriel.

  Commander Obodas’s face soured. “That gap-toothed Samaritan spy was whispering in Herod’s ear when I left the command tent.”

  Gabriel’s muscles tightened. “I’ve been wanting to have a talk with Rahm.”

  “Do you want me to go with you?” Commander Obodas asked.

  Gabriel shook his head and made his way down the rope-lined alley between the tents.

  He exited the alley and marched down the central avenue of the camp. The usual busyness abounded. Soldiers stood in line for the camp physician. Animal carts rumbled by with fresh food supplies. Men sat around smoky fires, eating and chatting.

  The command tents loomed large. Gabriel’s heart sped upon spotting Rahm exiting Herod’s tent. The damnable man smirked at Gabriel, and headed in the opposite direction.

  “Hold up,” Gabriel called.

  But Rahm kept walking.

  Gabriel sprinted after him.

  Herod stepped outside the command tent and hailed Gabriel.

  Gabriel halted and blew out a harsh breath. “Whatever Rahm said, he’s lying.”

  Herod frowned and pulled back the tent flap. “Come inside. I need you to clear up a few matters.”

  Dread seething like a sudden maelstrom, Gabriel ducked inside the dimly lit command post. Herod’s pasty-faced secretary looked up from his portable desk. His expressionless stare worried Gabriel.

  Herod took a seat next to a scarred wooden table covered in official documents. “Rahm claims you are having an affair with his wife, and—”

  “That’s a lie,” Gabriel bit out, even as he recalled the passionate kisses he and Shoshana had shared outside her home, where anyone could see and accuse them of adultery. His stomach lurched. How could he have allowed his passions to overrule his good sense? He’d die a thousand deaths if his incautious actions harmed Shoshana.

  “Sit down,” Herod ordered, pointing at a seat.

  “What does Rahm want?”

  “He threw out the accusation after I showed him t
hese.” Herod held up several sheets of cheap quality parchment covered in Shoshana’s labored script.

  Gabriel groaned inwardly. Why hadn’t he thought to warn Shoshana that his personal correspondence was likely to be inspected? He had written a couple of brief letters to Shoshana on the quick march to Samosata, but got vague answers from Herod’s secretary whenever he asked if there were any messages for him from Samaria.

  He shot the secretary a dirty look. Sunken eyes glued to the stylus cutting figures into a wax tablet, the smug quirk on the man’s mouth said he found the matter thoroughly entertaining.

  Aware Herod was studying him, Gabriel dropped down onto the seat and held out his hand. “May I see them?”

  Herod tossed the letters onto the table. “It seems your mistress has been cheating me.”

  The word mistress cut like glass. “Shoshana isn’t my mistress,” he said, his voice too loud, too defensive. “Noach Ehud and his family are good, honest people.”

  “Then why have the woman and her grandfather been taking my coins for supplies and turning around and selling them to Hasmond, and claiming they lost the goods to bandits. My men didn’t question their story as we were losing a good portion of supplies to thieves.”

  Gabriel scanned Shoshana’s short notes confessing as much and asking his forgiveness for withholding the secret. He recalled the secretive and skittish glances Noach and Shoshana had shared in the wake of rescuing him and Leonidas. He wished they’d confided in him, but understood their caution. The proof her conscience was bothered by the secret lay in his hands. And she might have told him the truth when he’d seen her last, if he’d given her time to speak, if he had kept his hands to himself.

  “Rahm forced them to steal from you,” Gabriel said as calmly as he could.

  “Rahm swears he didn’t know anything about it. He says Shoshana is taking advantage of you, hoping to trap a rich man into marrying her.”

  “Rahm is liar.”

  “That’s not news to me. But you are purchasing half of the mule train operation and gifting it to Shoshana...” Herod shrugged a shoulder. “She’s a real beauty. Stronger men than you have been taken in by sultry eyes and welcoming thighs.”