Warring Desires (The Herod Chronicles Book 3)

by Wanda Ann Thomas

  Gabriel swallowed. “I’m sorry. You—”

  “Don’t apologize.” Shoshana pressed closer. “Don’t shy away from talk of Talitha. You loved her. She will always be a part of you.” She brushed a soft kiss across his lips. “I cherish your willingness to share the secrets of your heart. And Helen needs you to share memories of her mother.”

  “Helen will adore you.”

  Shoshana held up the oat-colored sack clutched in one hand. “I made gifts for both of you.”

  He took the bag and reached inside. A silky smoothness greeted his fingers. He drew out a purple draw-string coin pouch and doll-sized pillow. Strong emotion flooded in. “From my robe. I thought it was ruined.”

  “Naomi salvaged a few pieces. The pillow is for Helen. I don’t want her to feel left out.”

  He pulled Shoshana into a tight embrace and buried his face in her neck. “I didn’t think I’d ever know this much joy again.”

  “What if your family rejects me?”

  Gabriel wouldn’t give Shoshana up for any reason. “It won’t change anything.”

  CHAPTER 41

  Summer was at its height and the heat relentless, even under the shade of the citron trees shading the walled garden, but Elizabeth had been cold to the bone since her father and Andrew’s arrest the day before.

  She set aside her angst and preoccupation with their well-being to give her full attention to making the Ehuds feel welcome. Conferring with her beforehand, Gabriel had decided it was best to put Helen down for a nap while he introduced Shoshana to the family, fearing their mother might suffer a relapse upon learning Gabriel intended to marry a Samaritan woman. But other than blinking her initial surprise, their mother went out of her way to be warm and welcoming.

  Sitting on yellow cushioned-couches arranged in a welcoming circle, Elizabeth couldn’t be happier for Gabriel. His deep love for Shoshana was apparent every time he glanced at the beautiful woman, and with each quick touch on Shoshana’s hand or arm or hair, and with the attention he paid to whatever she said.

  At first Elizabeth thought the visible changes in Gabriel—from his simple brown tunic, to his callused hands, to his talk of running the family farm—were the result of army life. But watching him interact with Shoshana and Noach and Jacob, the influence they’d had on Gabriel was readily apparent.

  The lost look in his eyes after Talitha’s death had been heart-wrenching. It did Elisabeth’s heart good to see him happy again. That aside, Elizabeth found much to like and admire in Shoshana. And Elizabeth’s mother appeared equally enchanted, listening raptly as Noach related the dangers and adventures they’d faced as mule train drivers. Noach and Jacob smiled as they recounted Shoshana rescuing Gabriel and Leonidas from bandits.

  Elizabeth wished her life was a fraction as exciting. She didn’t even want to contemplate how utterly restless and bored and bereft she’d be without Helen to hold and love. The ache of losing Helen was eased knowing Shoshana would be a good mother to her beautiful angel.

  Elizabeth wouldn’t dwell on the lonely years to come, without a husband and children to cheer and comfort her. Her mother needed her, and that would be especially true if her father and Andrew were killed.

  She rubbed her arms against a chill breeze.

  Then Andrew walked into the garden.

  Joy and relief flooded in, and she and Gabriel and Leonidas jumped up from the couches and rushed to Andrew.

  Andrew wrapped her up in a bone-crushing hug. “Libi, forgive me for being a pious fool.”

  The only one in the family who scrupulously kept his distance from her, Andrew guarded his ritual purity against her unclean state whether he was serving at the Temple or not. Surprised and happy, she hugged him back. “How are you? Did they hurt you?”

  Caught up in the crush of her brothers’ reunion, her heart soared.

  “Thank the Lord you’re free,” Leonidas said. “Where’s father?”

  Dirty and ashen-faced, Andrew’s shoulders sagged. “Father is dead.” Andrew’s voice broke. “Herod executed Father and the others without a trail. All the prominent men of the city.”

  Elizabeth buried her face in her hands. Her dear father had the gentlest of souls. Her stomach curdled at his violent death and the fear he must have felt before dying.

  “Libi,” her mother said, circling a supporting arm around her.

  Elizabeth hugged her mother. “How are you, Mother? I should be comforting you.”

  Her mother patted her back. “I’m thankful your father and I had time to mend our troubles.”

  “I need to stay strong for you and Gabriel and Andrew and Leonidas,” Elizabeth said, wiping her eyes.

  Her mother kissed Elizabeth’s forehead. “Your father was proud of your bravery in the face of your difficult burdens. He always said you were the strongest of his children.”

  Elizabeth had never doubted that her father loved her. He’d doted on her, even more so, after she’d become zavah and was counted among the impure. “I already miss him.”

  Tears welled in her mother’s eyes. “Me too.”

  “How did you win your freedom?” Leonidas asked Andrew.

  Andrew bowed his head. “Cousin Simeon made a deal with King Herod.”

  Elizabeth’s insides iced at the injustice. “Simeon escaped punishment?”

  “I spoke to Father before...before,” Andrew choked up. “Father told Cousin Simeon to save my life at any cost. Marriages were arranged for me and Elizabeth.”

  Elizabeth clutched her queasy stomach. “I will do what I must to save the family.”

  Gabriel squeezed her arm and Andrew’s arm. “We will sit Shiva for Father. Then I will pay Cousin Simeon a visit.” Gabriel paused and his face paled. “Did Herod agree to release Father’s body for a proper burial?”

  Andrew nodded. “A soldier named Jal is waiting for us at the palace. Herod is releasing all the bodies.”

  Elizabeth hugged her cold arms and wondered if she would ever feel warm again.

  CHAPTER 42

  The days immediately following her father’s burial went by in a blur of tears and strong emotions for Elizabeth and the rest of the family as they mourned their loss at the same time they rejoiced in Gabriel and Leonidas’s safe return and Andrew’s redemption, plus welcomed the Ehuds into the family.

  Secluded in their father’s home for the Shiva watch, Elizabeth, Gabriel, Leonidas and Andrew coaxed their exhausted mother to spend an hour in her beloved garden enjoying the fresh air.

  Sitting on cushioned couches arranged in a cozy circle, they reminisced about happier times, telling fond stories about Father.

  The trill of the songbirds in the trees overhead turned shrill. Elizabeth followed the flight of a brown-mottled thrush to the arched gate. Like the serpent intruding on paradise, Simeon Onias slithered into the garden. Her stomach sickened as it did at every poisonous encounter with her ex-husband.

  Elizabeth and her family exchanged wary frowns and stood.

  James trudged into the garden in his father’s wake.

  She tried to catch James’s eyes to ascertain how he had fared since the invasion and end of the war, but his eyes remained on his sandals as he and his father joined them.

  Simeon wore a hideous smile. “What a happy scene. Nehonya’s dearest wish was to see his family reunited.”

  Elizabeth hadn’t thought she could hate Simeon more than she already did.

  Gabriel rounded on Simeon. “Why aren’t you dead?”

  Elizabeth wanted to scream at the heavens over the injustice. Why had her good, kind father been murdered, and this poor excuse for a man still lived and breathed?

  Simeon blinked and spluttered. “Be thankful I was able to save Andrew.”

  Elizabeth’s mother skewered Simeon with a damning look. “Yes, let’s ask your father’s caring, selfless cousin how he escaped Herod’s wrath.”

  Simeon’s pruned lips puckered. “Nehonya ought to have set you in your place long ago.”

 
Her mother’s back stiffened. “Like you treat your Persian wife, who confided—”

  “You gossiping she-devils,” Simeon spit out.

  He drew his hand back, but Elizabeth knocked it away. “Don’t strike my mother.”

  Simeon cringed. “Keep your filthy paws to yourself, you zavah witch.”

  Tears stung Elizabeth’s eyes. “You are nothing but a mean, withered-up, she-goat.”

  “Shut your viperous mouth!” Simeon screeched, lunging for her.

  Her brothers restrained Simeon, and James’s arms circled her. “Shh,” he whispered. “He’s not worthy of your tears.”

  She turned into James’s strong chest. “How do you stand it?”

  His warm mouth brushed her ear. “I’m sorry for your father’s death. He was a kind, thoughtful man.”

  Comforted, she pressed closer to James. “Father hoped you’d know some joy in—”

  “Get away from the zavah witch,” Simeon yelled. “Do you always have to defy me?”

  James’s muscles tightened. “My days aren’t complete if I don’t hear you yell at least ten times.” His fingers pressed into her back, then he released her and strolled to his father’s side. “The house was silent as a tomb after your arrest. I can’t remember the last time I slept so well.”

  Simeon sighed exasperatedly. “You make me wish I was cursed with only daughters for children.”

  Elizabeth’s heart ached for James, knowing the sheer torture he endured day in and day out.

  “Your stepson is turning into a fine young man,” her mother murmured in her ear, squeezing her hand.

  Aware of her brothers’ astounded stares and afraid they’d guessed at her unnatural feelings for James, Elizabeth’s face heated.

  Simeon shook off her brothers’ hands. “Did you tell the zavah witch the price of your freedom, Andrew, or shall I?”

  Andrew paled.

  Elizabeth got a sinking feeling, like the room had tilted on its side and she was sliding into a deep abyss. Andrew had given them the barest of details—she was to marry a man named Saul. But the time or two she’d pressed for more information, Andrew had become upset and begged off, promising to explain at the end of the Shiva watch.

  She clutched her tight throat. “Tell me.”

  Simeon Onias smoothed his blue robe in all his pompous glory, a habit that invariably made her want to scream. “Herod demanded a marriage to bind our families, since your brother Gabriel refused to cooperate. I saved matters by suggesting marriages for Andrew, James, and the zavah witch.”

  Gabriel’s hand went to the hilt of his dagger. “If you call Elizabeth a witch or insult her again, I will shave your beard from your mean-mouthed face. Do you understand?”

  Simeon blanched. “I warned your father that Herod would turn you and Leonidas into barbarians.”

  Gabriel pinned Simeon with a withering look. “Anyone who hurts our family will wish a horde of barbarians were upon them instead of facing us. As for the proposed marriages, I don’t remember giving you permission to speak on behalf of my brother and sister. It is privilege I would never have granted you, since you aren’t worthy to clean their chamber pots.”

  Elizabeth relished the spectacle of Simeon Onias being put in his place by Gabriel. Simeon’s days of dictating, threatening, and menacing the family were over.

  Simeon made a throat-clearing noise. “I was doing your father’s bidding. I spoke to him before he died. He agreed to the marriages.”

  Andrew squeezed Gabriel’s arm. “I accepted the match. It was that or die.”

  Simeon smoothed his robes again and his scowl melted. “I tried every argument, bribe, and threat I could think of to save Nehonya.”

  James clapped mockingly. “How noble. Did you offer to swap your life for Cousin Nehonya’s?”

  Simeon’s jaw clenched. “If Herod had arrested you, I wouldn’t have wasted two breaths to free you.”

  James shrugged. “I just would have traded one dark pit for another.”

  “I am anxious to hear the details of the marriages,” Elizabeth said, to spare James further insults.

  Simeon shot her a thunderous look. “Andrew will marry Herod’s niece, Tamara, a lame girl they keep hidden away in Idumea. I would have pushed for a different match, but Andrew was content to accept the terms. James will wed Herod's mother’s niece, Kitra. A great beauty, I’m told.”

  Experiencing jealousy for the first time in her life, and insanely curious about the woman James would marry, Elizabeth glanced at James, but his blank look revealed nothing.

  Then Simeon turned a cold eye on her. “And the zav...” he paused and cleared his throat.

  “Nehonya’s daughter will to be sent to Egypt to marry a Jewish master builder making a name for himself in Cleopatra’s court.”

  James flinched. “Saul! You are going to sacrifice Elizabeth to that effeminate jackass?”

  Elizabeth wanted to protest, but her lips and limbs turned thick and numb. Egypt. A place of bondage and degradation to her people.

  “Are you charging Saul with sin?” Gabriel asked, face clouded with concern.

  Simeon made a noise of disgust. “James is bitter. He and Saul were rivals when James was drinking, gaming, and whoring his way around Rome.”

  James’s hands balled. “Saul clings to his mother’s hem and paints his eyes like a woman.”

  “All high-ranking Egyptians paint their eyes,” Simeon said. “So he lines his eyes with black kohl and dabs red ochre on his cheeks. It’s not as if Jewish men of prominence are beating down your door in droves to marry a zavah woman. If Herod and Saul are satisfied with the arrangement, I can’t see what objections you can—”

  “You can’t see past your own greed,” James accused.

  Elizabeth covered her ears. “Stop arguing!”

  The garden fell silent.

  Be strong. She lectured herself, willing her shaking legs not to buckle. Going to Egypt and marriage to a stranger frightened her half to death, but it was also the opportunity to have a husband and children and a home of her own. “The marriage is acceptable.”

  “Are you sure?” Gabriel asked with sympathy. “We could find another way to appease Herod.”

  She licked her parched lips. If a sacrifice on her part meant saving Andrew’s life, she’d suffer far worse than marriage to a man who imitated Egyptian ways. And if Saul turned out to be odious? What was more heartache and disappointment? She’d endured rejection and loneliness before; she’d find a way to survive it again. “I know this is what I must do, the same way you knew you must join Herod’s army.”

  Gabriel frowned, but nodded. “I understand.”

  “Libi, don’t, please don’t,” James said, taking a step toward her, all the longing and love he felt for her showing on his face.

  Afraid James would say too much and give Simeon an excuse to call for them to be stoned to death, she held her hands, warding him off. “The matter is settled. I’m going to Egypt.”

  “I’ll have the contracts drawn up,” Simeon said with a smug smile, and hurried from the garden in a flourish of swirling blue robes.

  James’s hurt look dissolved into a murderous glare as he turned and stomped after his father, putting the fear of God in Elizabeth. James had promised her he would not murder his father, but everything in her said James still had the poison, and that his hate would drive him to retaliate.

  She followed after James. He veered into a secluded side garden. “Wait,” she called, catching up to him near a shaded alcove with a marble bench.

  James spun around. The black sullenness in his eyes erupted into fiery passion. “Go back, Libi. Or suffer the consequences.”

  Feet frozen in place, blood pounded through her ears. “I’m afraid for you.”

  He strode toward her. “I warned you.”

  She ought to flee, but not knowing if or when they’d ever see each other again, she rushed to him.

  He caught her, and his warm lips covered hers. He tasted of
honey and nuts and desperation. “Libi,” he murmured. “Libi, come away with me.”

  “Promise me you won’t kill your father,” she said gasping for breath.

  He crushed his mouth to hers and kissed her until she was dizzy. He broke away. “Ask anything else.”

  She cupped his bearded face and held him at bay. “Promise.”

  Desire and misery shone in his liquid black eyes. “For you...for your sake.”

  She touched her lips to his. She meant to give him a gentle parting kiss, but hunger for his bruising kisses consumed her. She nipped his lower lip, the emotional torch was lit, and their mouths and tongues mingled.

  She moaned and dropped her head back. His mouth moved ravenously along her jaw and down her neck, sending a toe-curling tingle spiraling to her core.

  She moved against him.

  “Libi,” he whispered and his hands skimmed her sensitized breasts.

  She never knew anything could feel so wonderful. She didn’t want it to end. She wanted...needed more. “Kiss me,” she gasped, burying her hands in his hair.

  His warm breaths penetrated her thin tunic as he kissed her through her clothes. “You are gorgeous,” he said, over and over.

  And for the first time in her life she felt beautiful and desirable.

  His long-fingered hand dipped beneath her bodice and his cool fingertips grazed her heated skin, shocking her into reality. She pushed on his rugged shoulders. “We can’t do this, James.”

  “Run away with me,” he begged gasping. “We can disappear in Rome. No one would ever find us.”

  She brushed his straight glossy hair away from his face. “As tempting as that sounds, you know we can’t.”

  “Because you wouldn’t consider abandoning your duty to your family.”

  “I wouldn’t. Andrew’s life is in my hands. And neither would you.”

  James stared back with a lost look. Her heart broke and she pressed her face to his.

  Tears wet her cheeks. Tears that weren’t hers.

  “Elizabeth!” Gabriel said from a distance, his voice sharp.