Games We Play

by Cynthia Dane

“If you bring me tea,” Leah said with a smile, “we can talk about anything.”

  The mug was hot in Leah’s hands. She pulled her bed covers around her waist and motioned for her daughter to hop up next to her. You don’t remember this, Karlie, but I used to sleep with you tucked next to my chest. She only got away with that when she was the only one at home during the day. Janet said it wasn’t good for them to bond too much. Not when Leah was giving up her motherhood so she could continue her childhood. Instead, I was left in a terrible limbo. No longer a child, but not allowed to be an adult. Maybe Leah had fucked herself over when she insisted on treating her daughter as her own, but what was she supposed to do? Convince herself that she hadn’t carried and given birth to this girl?

  “It’s about the bakery.”

  Leah needed to put down her mug before it burned her fingertips, but the shock of her daughter’s words nearly killed her. “What about it? Did they call and…”

  “Not Rose City.” Karlie finally sat next to her mother. “The one Ms. Sloan bought.”

  Leah gasped. “How did you hear about that?”

  Karlie averted her gaze. “Why won’t you do it?”

  Way to dodge the question. What had Karlie overheard? Read? Did the real estate agent come by, or… did Sloan? “Do what? Take something that’s a big fat mess and will take up all my time away from home?”

  “You always talked about having your own bakery someday. Whatever happened to that Instagram account you used to have? Remember when you made those super fancy cupcakes and took glamour shots? You used to get thousands of likes!”

  “I don’t have much time for that anymore.”

  “Yeah, because you spend all your time at the dead-end job fulfilling other people’s ideas. When do you get to do your own?”

  “One day you’ll understand, sunshine. It’s not so easy when you’re an adult and have to work for others. That’s how it is when you’re employed.”

  “Listen to yourself!” The rise in Karlie’s attitude coincided with a heavy rain hitting the roof and bedroom window. Leah almost jumped from the surprise of both. “You have the opportunity to do something you’re really good at! How many people would kill to be you right now? Seriously, Leah, why won’t you do it? What’s stopping you? Are you that scared?”

  Leah blew the steam off her tea. “Don’t tell me about being scared, okay? I’ve been scared before. This is nothing like that.”

  Karlie continued to pout on the other end of the bed. “It’s because of Ms. Sloan, huh?”

  “What would you know about her?”

  “I know that you won’t talk much about her, though you two spent so much time together. She’s the one trying to hook you up with the bakery, right?”

  “Seriously, how do you know this?”

  “Forget how I know about it, Leah.” It now felt like heresy to hear Leah’s name come out of her daughter’s mouth. “The point is that you have this opportunity you refuse to take. I don’t get it. I know you’re not happy at Rose City. Enid sucks to work for. So, be your own boss! Ask Gina to work with you! Is it really that hard?”

  “Says the girl whose only work experience is getting a discount at Hot Topic.”

  Karlie rolled her eyes, as if she couldn’t believe her own mother – sister, whatever – would downplay work experience like that. “You don’t wanna do it because you’re mad at Ms. Sloan. I don’t know what she did, Leah, but it can’t be that bad if she’s trying to get you back by buying you such a great present.”

  No… she’s not trying to get me back. Sloan had said as much. She saw an investment opportunity. That was it. If not Leah, then someone else would get it. That’s how it worked. That’s how clean their breakup really could be.

  “That’s absurd. She’s not trying to get me back. Besides,” Leah sipped her tea, “you want to know what she did to make me break up with her? She lied about being married. She also…” This was embarrassing enough to share with a little sister. With a daughter? Ugh. “She used me, okay? I wasn’t comfortable with how our personal affair was going.”

  “Did you talk to her about it?”

  God! Did Leah really have to deal with this? Karlie meant well, but she was a teenager. The fuck did she know about serious, adult relationships? The girl barely dated. Somehow, she ended up being the first Vaughn woman to make it to high school still a virgin. A great relief to Janet and Leah, but still a miracle, given how their personalities tended to go.

  “There was nothing to talk about. You have to know when to cut toxic people out, okay? I listened to my instincts when they told me to run.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Look, you’re being idealistic, there’s nothing about Sloan that…”

  “She bought you a freakin’ bakery, Leah!” Karlie’s arms flailed above her head. As her hair gradually dried, curls returned, bouncing against her elbows and shoulders. “Right here in this neighborhood! It was like she didn’t want you to have to leave your stupid comfort zone! Besides!” Those reddened cheeks looked so much like Leah’s when she had enough. “I’m going to college next year. What are you waiting for? I’m not here for you to watch over anymore. Do something with your freakin’ life!”

  Leah couldn’t help but giggle. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m coming up with excuses to ignore the next phase of my life.”

  “I don’t know what she did to piss you off so much, but could you at least talk to her? I understand if she’s so ‘toxic’ that you don’t want her money near your business, but I bet you a million bucks that she’s still got it bad for you.”

  “What makes you think that? Don’t say because she bought me a bakery.”

  “Because I saw her today. She came by here to talk to Mom when you were at work. She looked like she wanted to kill Mom when she started going on about how irresponsible you are. Nobody who is indifferent about you would dare go up against Mom if it came down to it.”

  Leah considered her next words carefully. She had to, now that it was confirmed that Sloan had stopped by the Vaughn household. “There are people in this world you have to watch out for, because they look like they can give you everything you’ve ever wanted, but you have to keep in mind what it is you want.” She hadn’t intended for her relationship with Sloan to be a morality tale for her daughter, but here they were. That was the lot of Leah’s life. “I was swayed by Margaret because of what she represented. In the end, though, some things are best left to fantasy. Especially when you have responsibilities at home to keep in mind.”

  “You mean me…”

  “Ever since you were born, all I’ve wanted was to give you a good life. That’s what every mother wants. Staying close to home wasn’t simply a way to save money, you know. I wanted to be there for you, even if you only knew me as your big sister.”

  “You don’t have to do that now. I’m an adult, like you.”

  You have no idea what being an adult is. Being an adult meant making tough decisions that might mean more heartbreak, but were still better than the alternative. The safer bet. The best way to protect the ones somebody loved. “I’m never going to stop being your mother deep down. I’m always going to worry, and I’m always going to want to spoil you.”

  “Bet you could spoil me better if you dated a billionaire.”

  “Whose side are you on, exactly?”

  “Yours, if you can believe it.” Karlie rolled back on her crossed legs. Her shirt-dress rolled up her torso. Sometimes, Leah truly could not believe that her little, adolescent body could create a grown girl like Karlie. I used to count her toes and play with the little hairs on her head. It was the only way to make sure she came out right. Leah had already fucked up so much in her own life. She wouldn’t have been able to live with herself if Karlie came out wrong. “C’mon, Leah. You should give her another chance.”

  Leah finished her tea and handed it back to her daughter. “I need to get some sleep. Thanks for the tea, sunshine. Maybe I didn’t totally screw you up, a
fter all.”

  Karlie left with a kiss to her cheek and a huff in her throat.

  Leah turned off her light and lay back, hoping that the warm tea would lead her to the world of dreams. Instead, she stared at the blackened space before her, remembering the hotter nights with Sloan… and that time they looked at old Instagram photos of coquettishly decorated pastries. Valentine’s Day. When Leah had never been more excited. How quickly things dismantled after that.

  She’s getting a divorce… is she doing that for me? No, Sloan wasn’t the type of person to change her life for other people. More likely, she realized it was time to move on. Like Leah needed to move on with her life.

  A new job… a new love…

  Her phone was in her hand before she realized what she was doing. The number was dialed. The screen lit up and announced it was making the connection.

  “Good evening, Leah.”

  She froze beneath her covers, though her body warmed to hear that sensual side to Sloan’s voice. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” Where was she? Still in Portland? Staying in the hotel room where they first spent the night together?

  “No. I just got back and was settling in.”

  “In Chicago?”

  “Yes. Although this won’t be my home for much longer, I think. I’m looking to rent a separate apartment while the divorce finishes up.” Sloan sucked in her breath. “Anyway, enough about me. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

  Leah ran her fingers through her tangling hair. “I wanted to talk to you about the bakery thing.”

  “Oh? Did you change your mind?”

  “Maybe… I only want to know one thing.”

  “Name it.”

  Leah needed another deep breath to power her next few words. “Why are you willing to do that? I dumped you.”

  “Because…”

  “Don’t give me some crap about believing in me and my business skills, or whatever. Tell me the truth, Sloan. That’s all I ever wanted from you.”

  The ensuing pause made Leah wonder if their connection had dropped. “Because I wanted an excuse to see you again. I’m good at surprising people, if you haven’t noticed.”

  “I knew it. It was a ploy to get back with me.”

  “No, no. It was a ploy to talk to you, and nothing more.”

  “What’s the difference?”

  “Leah,” Sloan’s tone took a turn once more. No more flirtations. Only that straight, no-nonsense voice Leah had heard many times over the past few weeks. “I’m not going to get down on my knees and beg you to come back. That’s not my style. I know how to nurse my wounds and get on with my life. I think, anyway.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means you threw me a few curve balls. You might take me longer to get over than anyone else I’ve been with. Not even learning what a terrible person my husband is got to me like you did.”

  That was probably one of the most intimate things Sloan could have said about their relationship. She practically said that she loves me. This would’ve been a huge breakthrough if they were still dating. If… “Why don’t you want me back, then?”

  “I never said that.”

  “You said…”

  “I said it wasn’t my style to get on my knees and grovel. I know lots of women who would’ve done that, but not me. I wouldn’t be me if I debased myself like that.” She chuckled. “I’m done debasing myself in front of others. I want to put all of that behind me.”

  “Then you do want me back?”

  “Didn’t I buy you a fucking bakery?”

  “I’m so confused!”

  Sloan laughed. She must have held the phone away from her mouth for her to sound so far away, although her laughter bit Leah right in the heart. “Didn’t you learn anything about me at all that whole time we were dating? I’d rather bite my arm off than grovel, but I have my ways of asking you to come back to me.”

  “You said that it wasn’t a ploy…”

  “I didn’t expect it to make you rip off your top and jump my bones, Leah.”

  I wanted to. Seeing Sloan look so coolly confidant, even after everything they had been through, made Leah’s knees tremble. “You want me back, though?”

  “Is that all you’re hung up on?”

  No. Leah was hung up on that voice. The thought of Sloan sitting in her room, ready to undress and shower. Her fingers lighting up her last cigarette of the night before drumming on the vanity before her. Fingers that used to walk up my spine and dive into my body. “Maybe. I feel bad about how things ended. You told me something so intimate, and all I could think about was what it reminded me of.”

  “About your daughter.”

  Leah wasn’t surprised that Sloan already knew. The only thing that surprised her was that it hadn’t been brought up before. “How long have you known about that?”

  “A few days after you left. Security dug it up when I was looking for other information.”

  “I’m sorry I never told you.”

  “Why? It was your business, like how I had mine.”

  “Because when you talked about making decisions and moving on like it was nothing, it made me wonder if my own life could’ve been so different. I’m not… you know I’m not confidant about my decisions. I’ve been second guessing everything I’ve ever done since I got pregnant a long time ago.”

  Sloan didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then, “I know a few things that could boost and refine your confidence.”

  “You mean like getting back into bed with you?”

  “Well, yes, but that’s not what I was going to say. I was thinking about you commanding your own business like a fucking badass.”

  “You would want a girlfriend like that? I thought you preferred the more…”

  “You should know more than anyone that submissive does not equal a pushover little lump of mush that can’t make her own decisions. You can stand up for yourself. You can stand behind your beliefs and your decisions. So, do it. You did it when you dumped me, right? If you can dump me,” she said with a sniff, “then you can do anything.”

  Leah bit her lip. “Bet you wouldn’t mind punishing me for that.”

  “Ha! I thought you were more into rewards?”

  “I am, but there’s always room for improvement, right?”

  Something rustled on the other end of the line. Had Sloan been looking through a stack of papers? “If you’re serious about it, I’ve got a plan. I need a lot of help telling my bastard ex-husband that it’s time for him to permanently exit my life. Because he’s going to put up a nasty fight as soon as I say I’m taking half our clients and investors with me.”

  “Sounds intense.”

  “You have no idea. I’m not afraid to ask for help. And, well, I need it.”

  “Are you sure the help you need isn’t me showing you my tits through the window?”

  “While that would help me tremendously, it’s not what I had in mind.”

  “Then what?”

  “First…” Sloan sighed. “Tell me what you’re wearing.”

  Leah hung up on her. If she were going to climb back into Sloan’s web, they could do it on Leah’s terms – that did not yet include flirty phone sex. Although it might, soon.

  Chapter 31

  The car pulled up in front of a skyscraper simply labeled The G&S Enterprise Building. Sloan had joked that it might soon be called The Margaret Sloan Tower to piss off her ex, but she was willing to give him the building in the divorce if it shut him up about other shit.

  Leah wasn’t sure about that. Because now that they were here, everything became real.

  She only agreed to help Sloan after a few more phone calls that became more flirtatious every time they said hello. I think we’re back together. I’m not sure, though. Sloan never called Leah her girlfriend. All she promised was that they would have a serious discussion about what they wanted as soon as the matter of Aaron Giles was handled.

  It had been a week since Sloan was last in Por
tland, and a week since Leah tentatively agreed to go into business for herself. Since then – aside from the buttery phone calls – Leah had received messages from Ayla and a few others she had never heard of before, but a quick Google search proved fruitful when she discovered these unknowns were quite known in other circles. Namely, Sloan’s circles.

  Leah had a vital role in scaring the shit out of Aaron. She also understood that this was about helping herself as well as her girlfriend (if Sloan even was her girlfriend again.) Sloan had played up how much this would boost Leah’s confidence, which, Sloan declared, was dead sexy.

  Although Leah understood the purpose behind this event and why she was involved, it didn’t stop the butterflies from exploding in her stomach as soon as Sean pulled up in front of the office building and nodded to Leah in the rearview mirror.

  “How do I look?” Leah asked Sloan’s bodyguard. “Intimidating?”

  He cocked a smile. “Hardly. You look like the role you’re meant to play, if I may say so.”

  “You may.” Leah pulled a box into her lap before getting out of the car. Sean had another trip to make, but Leah was promised she would have security. “Thank you. Wish me luck.”

  “You don’t need luck. You’ll do fine.”

  The doorman met Leah at the sidewalk. She showed him the box of goodies in her hands and pretended it was another day of delivering baked items to a group of corporate big-wigs in their ivory tower.

  “God,” said a tall woman by the front desk. “I could use a donut right now, but I’ve promised to lay off the sugar until further notice.” She shrugged. “Shall we?”

  It took Leah a moment to remember Maxine’s name. She definitely didn’t recognize the man in a sharp suit behind her, but by the way they conversed, Leah understood that they had a professional history. That’s the man who’s going to change Sloan’s life. I hope. Technically, they were all going to change her life today. They only had to keep Aaron from knowing it until the right moment.

  Leah went up the elevator by herself. A woman – the executive receptionist, if Leah remembered correctly – glanced up from her desk as soon as the doors opened again. The way her eyes rolled could’ve been for the disturbance during a board meeting, or it could’ve been because Leah was dressed like the kind of woman “Aaron would love to bend over his knee and spank into oblivion,” as Sloan so lightly put it.