by Lacey Silks
“Can you for once look at the situation without rose-colored glasses?”
She frowned.
“Well, that wouldn’t be any fun. There’s nothing wrong with being positive.”
“No, there isn’t.” It was that go-getter, nothing can piss in my cornflakes confident attitude that got Millie through the toughest years of her life as a foster child. I’d never stop admiring her and loving her because she deserved to have it all. “But I can’t help it. Something’s off, and I can’t figure out what it is.”
“It’s not your fault, April. You have every right to be wary and careful. After what you’ve been through, I’m surprised you don’t live on a desert island. How is Parker, by the way? Any new memories?”
I looked around the park before saying, “No. Nothing. I think moving here was the best decision I could have made.”
“And how are you doing financially? Any more weird phone calls?”
After Simon passed, the first six months were not only full of grief but also of mysterious phone calls from a woman asking about him. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d been having another affair, but I’d hoped the woman would have some courtesy and leave me alone. She finally did. All I wanted was to raise my son and help him grieve his lost father – and not deal with Simon’s widowed mistresses.
“No. And I’m fine now. We should have moved from that neighborhood long ago.”
We’d left the rich life behind soon after Simon died, but remained in our old house. While my salary was sufficient to provide for me and Parker, it wasn’t nearly enough to live on in our old neighborhood forever. Not that I’d wanted to. It was a constant reminder of what we had lost, or more so, that Parker lost his father. I didn’t mind leaving the social clubs, golf memberships, and designer clothes behind. It was Simon’s life, and he worked hard to have everything he ever wanted – oftentimes harder than he did on our relationship. From expensive cars to catered food and executive parties every weekend, we’d led a very luxurious life. I’d gotten used to Simon’s life — or maybe I just went through the motions because it was expected of me. I did want what was best for Parker. I just wished I’d realized sooner that you didn’t need much more than unconditional love to raise a happy and healthy child. And then it had all ended with one pull of a trigger.
“I can’t believe Simon didn’t have any post-death plans.”
“He wasn’t exactly planning on dying.”
She rolled her eyes. “Nobody plans to die. You of all people should know that.”
“You’re right. Sometimes I can’t believe it either. But I guess he was so busy he never found the time to think about his death.”
Was I being naive about this? And why was I still defending a man who didn’t deserve my support? Because he was Parker’s father.
“Suicide.”
“Right. Suicide.”
No matter how many times I said it, it still sounded wrong. Because Millie and I were the only ones who knew the truth: that Simon did not pull that trigger. But revealing the truth came with too many consequences; ones I would never be able to live through.
“So, a teacher? I didn’t picture him as a teacher.”
“Neither did I. I guess appearances are deceiving.”
Millie pressed her lips into a thin line, and I knew exactly what she was thinking. Appearances weren’t deceiving at all. While people wanted to deny it, their bodies told a story, even if one not many could read. They gave away secrets only few were able to unveil. But I was an expert at reading the signs. Were they pointing me in the right direction? That Sean was not who he said he was?
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to find out what he’s hiding.”
“But if he isn’t hiding anything, you could push away a great man.”
“No. If he’s a great man, then he’ll understand.” I shook my head. “He is hiding something, I know it. And yet I trust him. Why do I trust him?”
Just as I asked Millie, I saw a short man pass us by. He had a camera looped around his neck, just like a casual tourist – which was odd because this park wasn’t touristy at all.
“If you trust him, then let go for once. You haven’t exactly had a good streak of men. Including Simon.”
“Millie, please.”
“What? You knew he cheated on you, and you didn’t do anything.”
“I had no proof.”
“Easily fixed,” she snapped her fingers. “But you chose not to. Come on, April. Say it out loud. He was a douche. A scumbag who sucked the life out of you.”
She was right.
I felt my personality draining as soon as I married Simon. Maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to it just because I was pregnant. But surely it was the right thing to do? I didn’t want to raise a child without a father, and so I paid for it. I lost that free spirit and strength I used to have within a few months of our marriage. It wasn’t until I moved away from Charlotte and the rich neighborhood that I began gaining my old self back.
“I didn’t want Parker to have no father.” I sighed. “And when I was ready to file for divorce, well, you know what happened.”
“Bam!” She made a hand gun and moved her thumb as if it were a trigger.
“Millie!”
“What? That’s what happened. The bastard got what he deserved.”
I lowered my head onto my knees and felt Millie’s arm wrap around my shoulders.
“What happened that day was fate, and now it’s time you found some happiness. Go out with Sean. Trust your instinct and have some fun. Let go of the past and look forward to a future with an amazing man. And give me all the details. The least you can do for your best friend is let her live through your adventures.”
I was sure I’d never be able to top the kinds of adventures Millie had collected over the years, but I didn’t say anything about that.
“Thank you.” I was squeezing my arms around her when my phone buzzed. The call display showed my older brother’s name. I swiped my finger over the screen and brought the phone to my ear.
“Hi, Dave.”
From the corner of my eye I saw Millie freeze up.
“So, do you want to tell me why you need info on this Sean Gordon guy?”
“Not really. What did you find?”
“Nothing. The guy doesn’t exist. Unless you wanted me to check on Mars as well.”
Why was my brother giving me attitude? I narrowed my eyes at Millie as her face covered with guilt. Had something happened this weekend she didn’t want to tell me about?
“Not necessary.” I answered. “Planet Earth will do.”
In addition to being a great cop, Dave was a space enthusiast.
“There’s really no mention of him at the school board?”
“No. Whoever he is, he’s a ghost. A very good one, too. So either you have the wrong name, or this guy’s trouble, and I have the urge to go into my nephew’s school and ask some questions.”
“Then a lot of people would find out you snooped.”
“Do you think I care?”
No, of course he wouldn’t. Dave was a man who acted first and worried about the consequences later. Total opposite from me. Well, except the part where I slept with a hot guy in Hawaii, just because he was… hot. Okay, not just because of that, but it had definitely played a major role that night.
“Are you in trouble? Why do you want him checked out?” he asked.
“No, I’m not in trouble. And I promise I’d tell you if I were.”
Fortunately, my brother was also someone who respected my decisions. He wouldn’t prod further unless I asked him to. Justin, his twin, would have already jumped in the car and been on his way to question Sean. Everything I did became his business. That’s why he wasn’t the one I texted. He’d care too much. Both my brothers had a different way of loving me – it was one of their best qualities and one of the thousands of reasons I loved them.
“My instinct is to butt in here, Apri
l.”
Hearing the care in his voice, my heart melted. “Please don’t. I can handle it.”
I wasn’t sure why Millie and Dave had broken up, but I had a funny suspicion it was because they were both stubborn. Sometimes I pictured them as donkeys: you could pull the reins all you wanted, but they wouldn’t budge until they were ready.
Asses.
They were both big, fat, stubborn donkeys who’d never budge.
“I’m not sure what I’m dealing with just yet, so just give me some time,” I added, to ease his worry.
“Okay. Just know that I’m here for you. Love you. Hug Parker for me.”
“I love you too.”
I hung up the phone. So, Sean was a ghost. If so, hopefully he didn’t work for the devil.
“Was that Dave?” Millie perked up as if she hadn’t heard me greet him.
“Yes. That was Dave. I wish you two would get over whatever stupid argument you had and got back together.”
“It wasn’t stupid. And I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed.”
“Then why are you asking me about him?”
“Just curious.”
“And I’m booking my next vacation at a nudist resort.” I rolled my eyes again. “Get over yourself and follow your own advice for once. You two were meant to be. I don’t understand why you’re both so stubborn.”
“We’re just different.”
“Opposites attract.”
“Sometimes attraction is not enough.”
“Now you tell me? What happened to living in the moment and enjoying life?”
“Just let it go, please?”
Sure, use a Disney line on me, why don’t you?
Millie had a rare look of sadness on her face, and I didn’t want to be the person who caused her permanent smile to fade.
“Okay, I’m sorry. How about if I text you this weekend with hourly updates on Eagle Man?”
“You’d do that for me?”
“I’d do anything for you.”
“But exclude the part where you’re shagging. I don’t want you texting and riding.”
“Eww. I’m not about to put out on a first date,” I lied.
“Girl, I hate to break this to you, but you already put out, and it wasn’t even a date.”
Yeah, she’d definitely be holding that one over my head for a while.
“Well, it’s our official first date, and I’m scared shitless.”
“Let’s get back to the office, and I can give you the Cliff notes version on how to seduce the Eagle Man.”
Millie had it all wrong, because it was Sean who was the master of seduction, not me. Was it time to let a new man into my life? And if so, was Sean the right man? Maybe change was exactly what I needed. After all, I was in a new town, and Parker was in a new school. And most importantly, I was beginning to feel like the old, confident me again, and it felt so good. Maybe the stars had finally lined up for me and the universe wasn’t set on fucking up my life.
But ‘maybe’ had too many loop holes, and my brain, which could usually process all the information and all the facts, putting the pieces of a puzzle together much quicker than most, was beginning to feel like Swiss cheese.
Chapter 6
Sean
By Friday afternoon, I’d been able to find out that Parker didn’t know much about his father’s death, and that his mom’s number one priority was saving money for his education. It sounded like he didn’t even remember that day. Just the funeral, and then spending a lot of time with his cop uncles, whom I had yet to meet – and I hoped to delay that encounter for as long as time would allow. If they got a whiff of who I was, I had no doubt they would be eager to muzzle the progress of my case. Over the past two months I’d managed to weasel into the tight community in Pinehurst, form connections with the mayor and school council, and order a bunch of new plants I didn’t need from the local gardener. They had been delivered to my house last week, and my mom was thrilled. No one knew many details about their new neighbor April Davis. She was like the ghost I’d been perfecting to be, and she was extremely good at it.
What the hell did you do with the fifty million, April? You look so innocent. Are you?
Was it possible she didn’t know about the money? And if she didn’t, if she truly wasn’t in on her husband’s past dealings, then she was in more danger than I thought. I must have been misinformed. She had to be aware that sooner or later people would find out how rich she was. Except the money didn’t exactly belong to her. At least that’s what I had been told.
I parked my Lexus in front of the house and had barely stepped out of my car when Charlie ran out the front door to greet me.
“Daddy! How was the spy job?”
I hugged her tightly, like she was my lifeline, letting my worries and questions float away.
“Hi, sweetie. It was good, but I need you to stop calling it the spy job, all right? From now on I’m a teacher, and if you promise not to mention spies again, I’ll take you to the zoo very soon.”
“Really? Yes, I got it. No more spies, sir.” She saluted me, and I laughed.
“What’s grandma cooking?” I hadn’t even stepped into the house when the delicious aroma hit me.
“Stew. Your favorite.” Charlie took my hand and pulled me through the front door and into the hallway. The rich spices mixed with beef, onion, and red peppers were giving my stomach a tighter squeeze. My mother spoiled me as if I were still her little boy. Sometimes I wondered if she’d ever stop. Maybe if I had listened to her, I wouldn’t have made so many mistakes in my life. She would always remind me of what my daughter wouldn’t have — a mother who loved her unconditionally. And it was my fault. We were supposed to have the perfect life and the perfect family, and I had screwed it up. There was nothing in this world I could do that would ever bring my daughter’s mother back. All I could do now was honor Charlie’s memory and give our little one the best life I could.
I walked into the kitchen and kissed my mother on her head. “Hi, Mom. You know you don’t have to cook every day.”
She walked toward the stove with a slight limp in her left leg to stir the simmering pot. She had broken it when she was young, and it had never healed well.
“I don’t care how much money you have, Sean. Nothing can substitute for a home-cooked meal, and I won’t have my grand-daughter eating out at fancy restaurants all the time.”
“I can afford it.”
“I know you can and so can I, but do you see me ordering out? How was work?”
“Boring.”
“Since when is being a teacher boring?”
“Since I’m not really a teacher, and I usually chase bad guys with guns.”
“Ah, the old adrenaline rush is missing. Well, for what it’s worth, I think the withdrawal will be good for you.”
Her comment reminded me of the day I had been in a rush and lost Charlie. My veins were pumping that day like the Hoover Dam. My heart rate spiked and I was acting on an instinct – which failed me and caused the mother of my child to perish. It was all because of my stupid adrenaline that I hadn’t been able to get her the help she needed in time. Maybe my mother was right. Perhaps less stress was exactly what my body and mind needed. Except how do you do that when fifty million dollars is on the line?
“A little bit of peace will do you some good. Maybe you’ll meet someone new.”
If I were a betting man, I’d say that my mom was a mind reader.
“Maybe I already met her.”
“Have you?”
“It’s complicated.” I sat down by the dining table and pulled my fingers through my hair.
“Ah, she’s part of a case, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, she is.”
“Conflict of interest?”
“A small one with the potential of exploding like a nuclear bomb.”
“If that’s what you call boring, then I don’t think I want to know what normal feels like for you.”
“She’s amazin
g, and I think she’s innocent. But I could be wrong. She’s a very smart woman with the perfect job to conceal evidence.”
My mom was the closest to a best friend I had, and she knew almost all my secrets. The good ones and the bad ones.
“Are you mixing business with pleasure?”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.”
“It never is. But maybe being closer to her will give you the answers you seek. You need to let your guard down, son, and follow your instinct.”
“It’s my instinct that killed Charlie.”
“That’s bull. Stop blaming yourself for her death. She would have had the same complications if she’d been at a hospital.”
“There are no bullets at a hospital, mom. She would have been fine.”
“There’s nothing wrong with grieving and remembering her, but if you keep blaming yourself, you won’t get a chance to fall in love all over again.”
“How can I love again? You only fall in love once.”
“And that’s double bull. You know, before I met your father, there was another man I loved.”
“What?”
“I never told you this story?”
My mother has never talked about her love life, period. I’d always thought that my father was her first and only man. Their loving relationship was exactly what I had sought to have with Charlie, yet failed. I must have had that “lost” look on my face for her to mention it. And she was right. I was lost.
“Well, we were eighteen when we met at a café in Charlotte. I dropped a quarter and he crouched down to pick it up at the same time I did. Do you know how long it took me to fall for Chris?”
I shook my head.
“That first look. I knew it, and he knew it. For almost a year he would come to the café where I worked every lunch and dinner, just to see me. He’d come in from the construction site across the street and would add a quarter to my tip jar every single day, until I’d collected three jars of them.” She pointed to the decorations on one of the kitchen shelves. I’d never thought too much about them – but now seeing that strange smile on her face when Charlie asked for a quarter to get a gumball from the bubble gum machine in our game room made sense. “That’s how long it took him to ask me out.” She then leaned in and whispered, “He was my first lover.”
