by Lacey Silks
“Oh, Mom!”
“What? You didn’t think people in the sixties did it?”
I didn’t want to think about my mother doing it. Not now and not ever.
“So what happened? How come you didn’t end up with Mr. Wonderful?”
“There was an accident at the site where he worked across the street and a fire at the coffee shop at the same time. Dozens of people lost their lives and hundreds were injured. I looked for him, but within days my parents had to relocate me to a different hospital to get specialized care for my leg. We moved to a different city, and I never saw him again.”
“Couldn’t you try to find him afterward?”
“With only a first name? I was young and in love. I didn’t care where he lived or about his name. It had just never come up during the couple of weeks we formally dated.”
I couldn’t believe my mom had done it after only a couple of weeks.
“Oh, don’t look at me like I’m supposed to be Mother Teresa.”
She probably didn’t even realize how close her heart matched that of a saint.
“So, you were really in love?”
“Completely.”
“Let me take you to the café.”
I wasn’t sure what made me say that, but yeah, I had the softest heart when it came to my girls, and I was proud of it.
“Ah, sweetheart. I love you for trying, but I’m happy now. I have you and Charlie.”
“I can’t believe you kept the quarters.”
She reached into one of the kitchen cupboards and took out a fourth jar full of quarters. “It’s the only memory I have of him so I keep emptying the bubble gum machine along with all the arcade games in the basement and put them back in the jars. And don’t get me wrong – I loved your father like he was my only one. The reason I’m telling you this is so that you understand that you can love more than once.”
“Thank you. But I’m afraid that no matter what I do, I’ll end up hurting her.”
I lowered my head. That was how I’d lost Charlie. What the fuck was I doing trying to make things work with April? And even contemplating inviting her over to my house? If my instinct was right, April wasn’t the kind of woman I could keep secrets from for long. And I’d rather she heard mine from the source instead of drawing her own conclusions. It was dangerous and probably reckless to involve her this way, but I was pretty damn sure I had no choice. She wouldn’t trust me otherwise, and I needed her trust to find that money. After all, her life, and Parker’s, depended on it.
“I wish I could tell you what to do, but you’re a good man, and I know you’ll make the right decision.”
“Thanks. I need to make a call before dinner.”
“All right.”
I went to my office and sat behind the mahogany chair. I flipped the phone over in my hand a few times, but instead of dialing I set the phone down and stared at the photograph of Charlie in her mother’s arms during the last few seconds of her life. I’d snapped it with my cell phone, and it was the only picture of the two of them I had. She passed seconds later, and I’d never forgiven myself. I shouldn’t have insisted on the trip. It was irresponsible to include my pregnant fiancée, thinking we could spend time together while I scouted a potential job. I should have known the job could be dangerous.
The hike wasn’t far, and Charlie had the adventurous spirit of Crocodile Dundee. But bullets ricocheting through the forest and her being hit when we dropped to the ground was the last thing I expected. It wouldn’t be until later that I found out we had stepped into the middle of a drug trade, and they’d seen us. Fucking assholes were all rotting in their graves right now, but their deaths couldn’t bring Charlie back. I thought it would help – I hoped bringing justice to those who caused her death would let me heal – but nothing did. Nothing would.
The sound of an incoming call startled me. I smiled at the name on the display and picked up the receiver.
“I was about to call you.”
“I’m sitting here like a fucking duck in the middle of a lake during hunting season. A few more minutes and she’ll come over to the car to strangle me.”
“Has she seen you?”
“Yes, like I said – a couple more minutes and she’ll come over.”
“Gord, you can leave. It’s on for this weekend. She confirmed our date this afternoon. Her father is taking Parker to the movies. The house will be empty.”
I heard the screeching wheels of a car on the other side
“Good. I got the key copy last night. If anything changes, text me. Otherwise we’re going in at ten.”
“Sounds good. Keep it clean.”
“Always do. And ‘Gordon’? Really?”
“I thought you’d get a kick out of it.”
I chose to use my partner’s name as my own when I set up my job at the school. Unlike last-minute strategies, unfortunately name creativity wasn’t my strong point.
“Listen, she’s digging. So whatever information you need to find, you better do it soon.”
“How much does she know?”
“Definitely that you’re not who you say you are.”
“All right. Thanks. I’ll try to speed it up.”
I hung up, cursing and feeling like a complete asshole. April trusted me, and here I was making arrangements to have her house swept and bugged. But this was my job. She was my job, and if I could find the money before others beat me to it, I’d not only get a nice bonus but also save her life. Except at this point I didn’t want a fucking bonus. Money for me meant betraying her, and I was no longer sure whether I could go through with it. All I wanted was her – those pouty lips and that tight pussy. More so, I needed April in my life because she challenged me and understood me. She was my match not only physically but emotionally.
She drove me wild the moment I saw her. She had to be innocent. But if she wasn’t, could I really let her go? So far, I couldn’t find any sign of April’s guilt. But if she didn’t have the money, then she was in way deeper trouble than a drug dealer who’d screwed over his boss. And when the time came, I was willing to not only make her disappear, but also to vanish with her.
Chapter 7
April
The iron sizzled against my skin when the doorbell rang.
Shit.
I uncurled the last piece of hair and ran cold water over the red mark. “Dad, can you get that? It’s Sean. I’ll be down in a sec.”
“Okay,” I heard from downstairs. I wasn’t too sure what was happening with me lately, but my time management skills were definitely lacking. I unplugged the cord and raked my fingers through my hair, pulling the thick brown locks apart.
“It was just the paper boy collecting his money,” my father called.
I chuckled. They still had frickin’ paper boys in this town.
I looked at my watch. Maybe I wasn’t as late as I’d thought. I still had a few minutes before Sean was due to show up, so I applied some lip gloss and headed downstairs.
My son was fixing his hair in the mirror. He was the epitome of a 7-year-old going on 17, and I wondered what I’d done in my life to deserve such a wonderful son. My mouth curved up with pride.
“So, you guys know what you’ll be seeing? Aren’t you going to be late?”
“Jurassic World.” Parker perked up.
“Are you trying to get rid of us before your date arrives?”
I pulled my father aside, saying, “Don’t call it a date. He’s Parker’s teacher, and I haven’t really told Parker we’re seeing each other. Just that we’re getting to know each other a little better.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I liked Mr. Gordon when I met him. You know that I was never that fond of Simon,” My dad whispered. “He wasn’t good enough for you.”
“Dad, please.”
“It’s true, sweetheart. Don’t hold yourself back and closed off to falling in love – because love sometimes has a funny way of sneaking up on you, and it doesn’t take much to disappear. An
d if you’re lucky enough, you get a chance to fall in love more than once.”
“What do you mean?”
“I loved your mother like she was my only one. But she wasn’t my first love.”
“Seriously?”
“Of course. Her name was Liliana, and she was absolutely stunning. But circumstances tore us apart, and we lost each other.”
“Did you not have her last name?”
“Jensen. It was Jensen.”
“So, why didn’t you look for her?”
“You have to remember that this was a time before the internet and cheap phone calls, and directories weren’t updated often. From what I heard, she moved out of town.”
“And didn’t let you know?”
“I’m sure she would have if she could. And then I got a chance to fall in love again with your mother.”
“Well, then you’re a very lucky man to have loved twice.”
“I am a very lucky man to have loved six times. Your brothers, you, and Parker each own a part of my heart the way your mother and Liliana did.”
I put my arms around my father, squeezing him tightly.
“I love you too, Dad, but it’s too early to speculate about love with Sean. Ask me again in a month or so, and we’ll see.”
Would Sean still be in my life then?
When I pulled away, my dad got that mischievous look in his eyes.
“So, do you mind if I grill this guy? I know I met him once. And I don’t know why, but I did like him at the parent-teacher meeting. There was something familiar about his face.”
“That’s because when you see so many dead bodies in a day, everyone begins to look familiar.”
“No, this was different.” My dad’s brows narrowed and he appeared to be lost in thought.
“Take it easy on him. I really like him.”
“He’s taking my daughter out. He’d better be worth it.”
Oh, he’s worth it, all right – but first I need to find out what he’s hiding.
“Mr. Gordon is very nice.” Parker peeked into the hallway. “Grandpa, are you taking your quarters? There are pinball machines at the theaters.”
My father patted his pocket as if it were a bottomless pit. “These will never run out.”
The doorbell rang, and all eyes fell on me.
“Be nice,” I said, as I made my way to the front door.
Sean greeted me with a bouquet of white daisies; and that’s when it hit me that our “first” date was actually going to happen. How many years had it been since I’d been on a date? Feeling nerves crawl up my spine, I guided him inside and formally introduced him to my father.
“It’s nice to see you again. Where are you two off to?”
Sean stood straight with his hands behind his back, like a soldier. My father was checking him out as if he were the one going out. His scrutinizing look was beginning to make me feel fifteen again.
“It’s a surprise,” Sean replied.
“Well, I hope you’ll have her back before eleven.”
“He’s kidding,” I jumped in.
“There’s nothing better than a great sense of humor. I see where you get yours, April.”
I didn’t have a sense of humor. At least, not in the past few years, when my life took a different turn. It was a good thing my father didn’t know that.
“I promise to get her back in one piece.”
“I see corpses that are in one piece every day,” my father replied.
I chocked out a forced laugh.
“Okay, then I promise to get her back in one piece – and alive.”
“That’s what the last guy said. Then he found out April carries a scalpel in her purse, and I never saw him again. What was it that Millie called him? Pinkie? Did he become a Pinkie before or after your date?”
“Okay, Dad. You can stop now. Sean, we’d better leave before he takes out his set of saws to show off.” And I wasn’t kidding about that.
“It was pleasure meeting you, sir.”
“Take care, you two. And April?”
“Yes, Dad?”
“Have some fun for a change.” He winked.
“Hey, I can be fun. I can relax better than a sloth.”
Hadn’t I proved just how much I could lower my guard in Hawaii?
My dad leaned into me, saying, “I said have fun, not be bored.”
“You’re so funny.” I stepped up on my toes and kissed his cheek.
As soon as we closed the door behind us, I heard my father and Parker sing, “Let it go, let it go…” at the top of their lungs. And they weren’t in harmony at all.
Sean took my hand, and minutes later we were in his car, driving out of town. Each time I breathed, his manly and musky cologne filled me. I made a note to ask him for a shirt of his I could sleep in. Maybe that was pushing it. One day, though…
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I asked.
“No.”
I imagined dining at a fancy restaurant, which really wasn’t my style. Then maybe dancing at a nightclub? Ideally it would be just the two of us for the rest of the evening, getting to know each other. I had so many questions I wanted to ask him, so the simpler, the better. He reached for my hand and entwined his fingers with mine. He held onto it for the next half hour it took us to reach the woods on the outskirts of the city.
“You trust me, right?” he asked as he pulled onto a grassy area.
“In theory.”
“There’s no such thing as trust in theory. Come on, gorgeous. Hope those lungs of yours are as generous as your chest implies.”
Was that a compliment? Heat flushed through my body. I looked at the hill he indicated we would climb. Wow! It was spectacular. The view of our little town was absolutely gorgeous from here already, and I couldn’t imagine it looking any better than this from higher ground.
Sean swung a backpack onto his shoulder and took another bag from the SUV before grasping my hand again. He quickly kissed my lips and said, “You should listen to your father and let it go.”
I had a feeling those two guys would really like each other. Taking my dad’s words to heart, I inhaled a deep breath of fresh air.
Come on, April, you can have fun. You can relax.
I followed Sean up the wild hill through waist-high grasses and between shrubs. While I knew we were not on a mountain, it certainly felt as if we were on top of the world. At the summit, the tops of trees covered the horizon like green mushroom clouds, making me feel as if we had traveled to a different country. When I turned around, Sean had already set a blanket out on the grass with a couple of small pillows. To the side were food containers, two glasses of wine, and paper plates with utensils.
“I didn’t picture you as the outdoorsy type.”
“What type did you picture me as?”
Only the naked kind so far.
I ignored his question and sat on the blanket, tucking my legs underneath me. I reached for the backpack and asked, “Did you bring Chef Olivier with you?”
He was one of the most famous chefs in the state. Sean tapped my hand away, making a tsk, tsk noise of disapproval, which sounded sexier than I was sure he intended. “Curiosity killed the cat. I hope you’re hungry.”
Sean opened a container of what looked like a lobster salad. “You don’t have any seafood allergies, do you?”
“No. I actually love seafood. So long as it’s cooked, that is.”
“So no sushi?”
I shook my head.
“Then I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t bring any.”
He opened another container full of ice cream cones – except they were actually bread cones with sesame and chia seeds sprinkled on the outside. For the first time that evening, I felt my stomach grumble. Everything looked so delicious. He stuffed the salad into a cone and handed it to me, and then poured some wine into our glasses before preparing his.
“Cheers!”
We clinked our glasses and I took a sip. The wine
was smooth, full of fruity, well-aged flavor. We ate in silence, side by side, watching the sun lower in the sky. Sean finished his cone wrap in a few bites and had another one. This man had the appetite of Godzilla.
“So you’re not allergic to seafood. Is there anything you are allergic to? Just so I’m ready for our next date,” he said as he finished off the last bite.
“Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? How do you know there will be a next date?”
As much as I tried, I couldn’t hide the hope in my voice. Part of me wanted to believe we could work, and that there would be an infinite number of dates in our lives; that somehow, Sean had come into my life without some unknown pretense. But since I’d said my I do’s with Simon, life had taught me a few sour lessons, and trust did not appear out of thin air. Not even when you gave your everything to someone. Everyone had an agenda. For me, trust was like a paper – once it had been crumpled, it couldn’t be perfect again. And Simon had ensured that my paper was torn to shreds. It would take a lot of patience and tape to put it back together.
“Because I already told Parker I’d like him to meet Charlie next weekend, and I doubt you’d disappoint your son.”
“Sneaky.”
“Just planning ahead. How about we take the kids to the zoo?” he offered.
Going back to the city? Was that wise? I had just left our old neighborhood a couple of months ago. Should have done it sooner, but I had thought people would finally stop whispering behind my back. They didn’t. Simon’s death had haunted me every day. People blamed me; they thought I was a murderer.
“It’s an hour drive.” I shifted my weight on the blanket.
“I can pick you guys up.”
I eyed him suspiciously, saying, “How about I meet you at your house, then, and we can drive together from there?”
“So it’s a yes?” His eyes sparkled with hope.
Sean didn’t even hesitate. Maybe he didn’t mind me coming over after all. It was one way to find out exactly where he lived. That was the moment I imagined the first few pieces of that paper being taped together, forming a neat corner of trust.
