Chloe stared at him. Her heart hammered. “What?”
He grinned. “That’s not the reaction I was looking for. Say you’ll do it, honey. The thought of you leaving tonight makes me ache. I want you by my side all the time. In my bed every night. Say yes.” He bent to kiss her fingers.
She pulled her hand out of his. “No, Garth, Christ, no!” She moved backward, and he stood, frowning.
“I don’t understand. I thought you’d like the idea of commitment.”
“No! That’s completely the opposite of what I want.” He looked so puzzled that she wanted to cry. “How on earth can we talk about spending the rest of our lives together when we’ve known each other less than two weeks?”
“Chloe, I knew the moment you sat in front of me on the plane that I was in trouble.”
Still backing away, she met the wall with a bump. “That’s crazy. This is just a…a summer fling, that’s all.”
“It’s a lot more than that.” He stopped before her and tipped his head. His lips curved. “I love you. Does that really surprise you?”
“Don’t.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “You can’t love me. Love doesn’t appear overnight, like…like mould on bread. It develops and matures, like whisky or cheese.”
“Trust you to compare me to food. I’m only surprised you didn’t use chocolate as a metaphor.”
“Garth. I’m serious. You don’t love me. You can’t.”
His eyes took on a steely glare. “Are you telling me how I feel?”
“I’m telling you you’re mistaken.”
“I’m not. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Stop it. That’s ridiculous.”
He stepped closer to her, clenching his fists. “Are you going to tell me you don’t feel anything for me?”
“Of course I feel something for you—that’s the problem. It’s all physical, and when it wears off there’ll be nothing left and it will all be a huge mistake.”
He put his hands on his hips. “This is about your mother, isn’t it?”
“I’m not going to be the same as her, Garth. I won’t declare my love for a man two seconds after meeting him. I’ve seen how it ends.”
“You’re not your mother, Chloe.”
“No.” She made herself calm. “I’m not. That’s why I’m going to say goodbye to you now.”
As she turned, he moved forward and grabbed her arm. “You’re not going.”
She snatched it away. “What are you going to do, chain me to the chair?”
He raised a teasing eyebrow. “Don’t tempt me.”
“Stop it.” She was openly crying now. “It’s not a joke.”
The humor faded from his face and it obviously dawned on him. She was serious, and she was finishing it.
“This is crazy.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking incredulous. “I’ve never been with anyone who makes me feel like you do.”
“I’m sorry Garth, but it was a mistake to fall into bed as quickly as we did. Maybe if we’d taken it slower, dated properly… I don’t know. But I don’t want to carry on like this. I’m going to end up with a broken heart.”
Even as she said it, she knew she was kidding herself. Her heart was already broken. Part of her was aware she was being foolish to destroy the best thing that had ever happened to her. But she’d seen her mother’s relationships fail too many times for her to trust that what she felt for Garth was anything other than physical attraction.
She walked past him into the house, picked up her handbag, and went to the front door. Orion came up to her, stumpy tail wagging, but she refused to look at the dog, knowing she’d cry even harder if she saw his hopeful face. Garth had followed her in, and he stood watching her now, dumbfounded, clearly distraught. “You’re really going?”
“Can you take me home?” Tears ran down her cheeks.
He stared at her for a moment. Then, without another word, he got his keys and walked out.
He locked the door behind her and they got in the car, and he started the engine and reversed until he faced up the drive. There he stopped and turned to face her. “Chloe…”
“Just drive.” She looked out of the window, pressing the back of her fingers to her trembling lips.
They didn’t speak again as he drove to Paihia. He pulled up outside her house and left the car idling. He didn’t look at her, but studied the steering wheel, jaw knotted.
“Thank you for a lovely evening.” Her voice sounded weak and insincere. It annoyed her, so she cleared her throat and tried again. “Thank you Garth. I had a nice time.”
He nodded.
She got out and ran into the house.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Thursday and Friday were possibly the two most miserable days of Chloe’s life. Part of her longed for Garth to call. The other part dreaded hearing the sound of his voice, because she knew if she did, she completely fold and tell him how much she missed him.
“Oh Chloe, please go and see him,” Stella begged on Thursday evening, kneeling by her side where she lay on the sofa. “You look awful.”
Chloe smiled weakly. “It’s all right, Stel, I’m okay.”
“You’re not okay. Your eyes are red and you’re white as a ghost. You look so unhappy.”
“I’ll be fine. I just need…” Her voice gave out and her face crumpled.
Stella threw her arms around her. “Your fucking mother. She’s completely screwed you up.”
“It’s not her fault…”
“It is her fault, because Garth’s the best thing that ever happened to you. You met this guy, and he’s gorgeous and single and absolutely loaded, and he asked you home, and he’s great in bed, and then he even asked you to marry him, and because of your mother, you say no!”
Chloe rested her head on Stella’s shoulder and wailed.
When she eventually quieted, Stella got her a drink and curled up on the sofa beside her. “Maybe he was a bit hasty,” Stella admitted, “but I don’t think that’s necessarily a sign it would all go tits up.”
Chloe sighed and ran a hair through her hair. “I know. I do know that. I must seem crazy to you, and to him. But it’s just so hard to explain. Even to you, and you know a lot of what I’ve been through. But I’ve literally lost count of the number of times my mother’s done this to me.”
She sipped her wine and rested her head on the back of the sofa, looking up at the ceiling. “The first time I can remember, I was eight. Dad had left three years before. Mum brought a guy called Callum home. I don’t remember much about him, but I do remember what she was like with him, all starry-eyed. They were draped over each other, kissing all the time, giggling. Every night for about two weeks, when he came around, she’d sit me in front of the TV with some coloring-in, and then they’d disappear into her room for ages. She started planning the wedding. We discussed what color my bridesmaid’s dress would be, and I got so excited. Then, the following week, they broke up.”
“Oh Chloe…”
“That was just the first time. By the time I reached my teens, I’d grown wiser, and every time she brought a guy home, I’d think oh yeah, we’ll see. But every time, she said, ‘this is the one, Chloe.’ And it never was.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Chloe wiped her tears away tiredly.
“But the thing is, you’re not your mother.” Stella’s earnest face pleaded for Chloe to believe her. “Most people who get married fall in love on their first date. And surely it’s better to fall madly in love and have some passion in your relationship than to end up with someone like Ethan? And I’m not talking about the money thing here, I mean the fact that you thought he was safe, because what you felt for him was affection and fondness, not love.”
“I did love him…” The angel in her head frowned at that, though. She’d never felt for Ethan in years what she already felt for Garth after only a few weeks.
Stella sat forward on the sofa and took Chloe’s hands in hers. �
��You know whatever I say here, I say because I love you, sweetie. I’m your biggest fan, I really am. But I’m telling you now, I don’t think you loved Ethan. Or, I don’t think you were in love with him. And that may have felt safe to you, because love can be scary, but not being in love with the man you’re with is far more dangerous. Because when you love someone, you’re willing to fight for them, to brave the bad times. If you don’t love your partner, you’re going to run into trouble as soon as the going gets tough.”
Fresh tears fell onto Chloe’s cheeks. “I’m so scared,” she whispered. “I don’t want to be like her.”
“I know.”
“Every time she broke up with a guy, she fell into the pit of despair. I can’t tell you the number of times she told me she felt like taking her own life.”
“I know, sweetie, and that sucks, it really does. But you’re not like that. You’re not bipolar, and you’re more aware of your emotions than Nina is. You’ve got to start learning to trust though.”
“Trust what?”
“Garth, for one thing. I really think he has deep feelings for you. He’s obviously got his own problems, what with being held captive, and what happened to his wife. The poor guy’s gone to hell and back, but in spite of all that he’s really opened up to you. Mat said he’s crazy about you—and that he’s never seen Garth like that with anyone, not even Jess.”
Chloe bit her lip to stop a sob escaping.
“And also,” Stella continued, squeezing her fingers, “you’ve got to trust in love too. Not every relationship ends badly. I know they say one in three marriages ends in divorce, but that means two in three couples stay married. We all know people whose relationships have ended unhappily, but I also know plenty who’ve stayed together, and who still love each other, even after twenty years of marriage. And I know for a fact that a few of those couples started off with a one-night stand.”
“But surely, if things start so intense, they can’t continue like that?” Chloe wanted to believe her, but the years of cynicism were hard to shake off.
“I don’t know. The longest I’ve been out with anyone is six months. From what I understand, passion develops over time into something deeper, into true love. But I don’t think it happens the other way around. I don’t think affection develops into passion. I think it’s either there or it’s not. And do you really want to be married to someone and not have that passion?”
Fresh tears ran down Chloe’s face. “I don’t know. I’m so confused.”
Stella hugged her again. “Come on. It’s not all over. You’ve had an argument, is all.”
“I don’t know… I think I hurt him, Stel.” The memory of the pain on his face speared her heart. “He’s been through so much. I don’t know if he’ll be able to forgive me.”
“He will. It’s amazing what we can forgive when we love someone.”
Chloe wasn’t so sure. She rested her cheek on Stella’s shoulder. “I think I’ve blown it.”
“Why don’t you ring him now and talk to him?”
“I still don’t have his number.”
“Then get in the car and drive over there.”
Chloe lifted her head and wiped her face. “No. I’ll wait until tomorrow. I’m going to see Nick. I’m thinking of asking Mum if she’ll put the house down as collateral for the business. But I want to make sure Nick’s happy to sell before I go that far. When I know it’s all going ahead, I’ll visit Garth. I want to tell him about Cocoa Heaven, put all my cards on the table, you know? I’ll talk to him properly, I promise.”
Realizing Chloe wasn’t going to change her mind, Stella gave in, seemingly relieved that her friend had at least decided the relationship hadn’t finished. Chloe went to bed, but lay awake for hours, her mind whirling. Stella had spoken the truth—Chloe knew deep down her problems were all due to her mother and her fear of turning into her. Women would kill to be in her position, to have a man like Garth after them. Poor Garth. After everything he’d been through. He’d laid his heart on the line, given her everything, and she’d thrown it back in his face.
She turned and buried her face in the pillow. She wanted to see him so badly, it physically hurt. Could she love him already? Was it really possible they could be in love in such a short space of time?
Her tangled thoughts went around and around in her head, until eventually she fell asleep. But she dreamed of Garth, and of him holding her in his arms. And she awoke with tears on her cheeks.
Chapter Thirty
On Friday morning, in her tea break, she rang Cocoa Heaven. The girl in the shop told her Nick was in a meeting, so she arranged an appointment with him for 5.30pm, after she returned from work.
She couldn’t concentrate at all that day, what with her nerves about talking to Nick and the thought of going around to see Garth afterward. But eventually the clock turned 4.30pm and she drove home. She went straight around to Cocoa Heaven.
The shop was shut, but one of the shop girls let her in and showed her through to his office.
“Hey.” He sat at his desk, but when Chloe appeared at the door, he stood and came around to give her a brief kiss on the cheek. “It’s nice to see you, Chloe.”
“Hi Nick. How are you doing?”
“Okay.” He sat back behind his desk and gestured for her to take the seat in front of him.
She did so, a strange mixture of emotions swirling inside her, excitement and nerves at the thought of implementing her new business plan, plus a strange sick feeling at the realization that this was the first time she’d seen him since Garth had told her about Nick’s affair with Jess. This man had almost destroyed Garth, and although she sensed it hadn’t been done with any vindictiveness, still he’d obviously known about Jess’s husband being incarcerated when he started the affair. What kind of man did that make him?
“How’s things?” she asked, trying to relax.
“Not bad.” He ran his hand through his hair. He looked tired. “Relieved to sell the business at last, even if I’ve made a huge loss.”
Chloe stared at him. For a moment, she thought stupidly that he’d heard about her bank loan and was referring in a roundabout way to her proposal. Then she understood. “You’ve sold the business?”
Oh for fuck’s sake… The devil stood with hands on hips, exasperated.
“Yes.” He sighed. “It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, to sign it away. The bastard struck a hard bargain. I nearly told him to get lost. But better the shop stays open—part of me would have died inside if it had closed…” His voice trailed off and he stared at her, obviously seeing the blank look on her face. “Wait, you don’t know?”
“I…” Her head spun. “Why would I know?”
He frowned. “Because I sold it to Rowland. I assumed he bought it for you. Shit, have I spoiled the surprise?”
She blinked. For a brief second she entertained the thought that Garth had bought the business for her. And then she remembered what he’d said to her that day in the car. “I’ve got things I have to sort out, things to do with the past, and I don’t want you caught up in them.” The man was too caught up in pain and anger to think straight.
“What’s the matter?” Nick asked.
“Garth didn’t buy the shop for me. I came here to offer to buy it myself. Oh Nick, I hate to tell you this, but Garth Rowland isn’t his real name.”
“What are you talking about?”
“His real name is Richard—Rick, Taylor.”
Nick stared at her blankly.
“Jess’s husband,” Chloe added softly.
Nick stared at her. “What?”
“I know about your affair with her. And about the accident. I’m sorry, Nick.” Even though the woman had been married to somebody else, presumably he was distraught that she’d died.
He frowned. “No, you’ve got the wrong man. She was married to this journalist who got captured in the Middle East somewhere. He was away for ages.”
She felt numb inside an
d slightly sick. “Yes, it’s him. He told me. He came back to New Zealand a year ago.”
Nick’s face registered complete shock. “Garth was Jess’s husband?”
“Yes.”
“But... I don’t understand. Why would he want to buy Cocoa Heaven?”
“To destroy it.” The voice came from the doorway, and their heads snapped around to see Garth standing there, leaning against the doorjamb.
He looked calm, thought Chloe, his hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans, but his eyes were flat and hard. He didn’t even look at her. He focused his gaze on Nick.
Nick pushed himself slowly to his feet, and Chloe followed.
“You’re Jess’s husband,” Nick said flatly.
“Was,” Garth said. “I’m a widower now.”
“I don’t understand.” Nick looked thoroughly confused, white with shock. “What do you mean, ‘destroy it’?”
“You killed my wife,” Garth said calmly, “and now I’m going to destroy the one thing in your life that you love. I’m going to gut the place, burn everything inside it, and tear it down.”
Chloe gasped. “Christ, Garth, it was an accident.”
“I know.” For the first time he looked at her. His eyes blazed, filled with pain. “But he ruined my marriage, Chloe. The only thing that kept me going while I was away was thinking about Jess and getting back together with her, but when I came back I found out she was having an affair with this piece of shit.”
Her insides twisted at the thought of how much he must have loved his wife to feel this strongly about her. The angel gave her a mental hug, but it did nothing to soothe her churning emotions.
Nick’s cheeks reddened. “I loved her.”
“She was my wife!” Garth spat.
“You make it sound like an idyllic arrangement,” Nick snapped. “She told me everything. How she married you for your money, and how you only married her to piss off your father. Hardly a match made in heaven. And the two of you were obviously unhappy before you left for Afghanistan, otherwise she wouldn’t have had an affair.”
Summer Fling Page 15
