He fixed her gaze with his, but made his voice gentle. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” she asked huskily, and it was only then he saw with shock that she was near to tears.
They both looked up as the rain increased in volume, powerful Northland rain, flattening grass and flowers, drenching everything in sight. It would be sunny again in ten minutes, he mused. For some reason that gave him hope. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I’d planned for Stewart. But I was caught up in a complicated web of hurt, pain, anger, and hatred, and I didn’t want you to get caught in it too. I feel what we have is unrelated to all that.” He used the present tense purposely, hoping she’d pick up on it. “I wanted desperately to keep it separate. Our relationship is clean and fresh, where everything else in my life is murky and thick with dark, oppressive emotions.”
She studied him thoughtfully, her teeth tugging on her bottom lip. He wanted to lean forward and pull her onto his lap, run his tongue over that lip and suck it, graze his teeth on it. But he forced himself to sit still.
She gave a small nod. Carry on. He cleared his throat and continued. “I had this plan, you see. I thought if I carried it through, if I got my revenge, it would be like giving myself a clean slate.” He took a deep breath. This was difficult, but instinctively he knew he had to be honest with her or she’d never trust him again. “I thought I could eradicate all the guilt and pain by destroying Nick. I thought if I did so, then somehow I’d be showing Jess—wherever she is—that I wish things had been different, and that I was sorry I’d let her down.”
Chloe swallowed. “Do you wish things had been different? Do you wish she were here now?”
He took another deep breath and then let it out slowly. “Nick wasn’t completely wrong in what he said. I did marry Jess to piss off my father. I met her at a party. She was young and beautiful, but also very outspoken, aggressive, and opinionated. She liked an argument, the cut and thrust of debate. I knew that would annoy my father, and I took her home to wind him up. It worked. They argued from the outset, and he hated her.” He shook his head. “I was delighted. I asked her to marry me one day after my father and I had had a row about me helping out in the business. It was one more way I could be rebellious and show him I wasn’t going to be the man he wanted me to be.”
He sighed and leaned his head back on the wall, not wanting to meet her eyes. “Her motives weren’t exactly pure either. She came from a very poor family, and she liked the idea of having money. She didn’t know at the time that my father had cut me off and didn’t give me an allowance—that I had to pay my own way through university. She didn’t find out until we were married.” He grimaced at the memory. “That didn’t go down well.”
“Do you still love her?” Chloe’s voice was soft. He looked at her. Her eyes shone with tears.
He closed his eyes. Time for the truth—to clear the decks. “It’s not an easy thing to admit. I married the girl, and despite the fact that she also had her own reasons for agreeing to marry me, a woman deserves more from her husband. I was faithful to her, because I couldn’t be anything else—I’m not wired any other way. But I didn’t love her. I spent more and more time away, because it was easier than being together and seeing the disappointment in her eyes.”
“But if you didn’t love her, why did you feel the need to punish Nick so badly?”
He ran a hand through his hair. “The longer I was in captivity, the more I clung to the idea of making my life perfect when I came out. I began to imagine Jess in my mind as this ideal wife—I thought if I was given the chance, I’d make it up to her, make things good between us. I felt that Nick ruined that chance. But now I realize I was thinking about a woman who didn’t really exist. She never loved me in the way I hoped a wife would love me.”
Chloe’s eyes glistened, but he couldn’t read what she was thinking. “So you don’t still love her? You don’t wish she were here, instead of me?”
Garth met her gaze and spoke firmly. “Honey, I never lied to you. I said it before and I say it again—I never felt about Jess the way I feel about you.”
Silence fell between them. He wanted to take her in his arms, but he sensed that things weren’t quite right yet.
She looked at the rose in her hands and thought for a while. He forced himself to sit still and wait quietly. Orion got to his feet, walked over to him, and slumped against his side, as if he’d sensed the inner turmoil going on in Garth’s mind and wanted to comfort him. He scratched behind the dog’s ear, wishing he could wave a magic wand and put everything right, but he couldn’t. He had to wait and see if Chloe could find it in her heart to forgive him.
She cleared her throat. “So how do you feel about Nick now?”
He stroked Orion, hoping the act would keep him calm. “I had to make a statement to him. He loved the shop—it was the only thing he had that I could take away. I wanted to make him see how it felt to lose something valuable.” He sighed. “But I regret it now. I’ve been to see him.” Surprise registered in her eyes. “I apologized. We had a long talk. It was hard, and we’re never going to best friends, but we cleared a lot of things up. He’s moving away. Somewhere south, maybe Auckland. I wrote him a check to clear his debts—what I should have paid originally for Cocoa Heaven. He’s going to start again.”
Admiration flickered in her eyes. “That’s incredibly generous considering what he did to you.”
Garth tipped his head back on the wall. “He never did anything to me. I know he had an affair with my wife, but it takes two to tango—we weren’t getting on and, knowing Jess, she would have been the one to start the relationship. He wasn’t her first affair, you know.” He looked at Chloe wryly, seeing her shock. “Yeah. She’d had several other lovers, and that’s the ones I knew of. She told me about them, as if she hoped it would force me to do something—to either divorce her or love her, I suppose. I did neither, and I think that probably drove her crazy.”
“She could have divorced you.”
“She wouldn’t have got any money then.”
“Ah.”
He nodded. “Anyway, back to Nick. I’m not entirely innocent, Chloe—I organized that theft on his house.”
“I knew it!”
He pulled a face. “I wanted him out of the way. I thought he was making a move on you, and it made me mad. I wanted you for myself.” He looked at Orion and scratched his head. “My contact didn’t steal anything though, only set off the alarm.” He took a deep breath. Time for his big plan. “The shop’s yours, Chloe, if you want it. I’ll sign all the papers over to you. Whatever happens between the two of us, I want you to have it. You’ll be a resounding success—I know you will. You’re so knowledgeable about chocolate, and you have a sound business mind. I know you’ll go far.”
She bit her lip again. He wished she’d stop doing that. It made him want to take her in his arms and ravage her.
She looked out at the garden, and he followed her gaze to see the rain had stopped and the sun had come out. The tarmac was already steaming. “Let’s go for a walk,” she said, getting to her feet and dusting off her butt.
Chapter Thirty-Three
She waited for Garth to rise and clip Orion’s lead on, and he followed her out of the garden and along the road toward the beach.
“Dogs aren’t allowed on the sand at this time of year,” he said as they reached the main road.
“We’ll stay up here then.” She reached down to stroke Orion’s ear. “Poor baby. Bet you’d love to get in that water, wouldn’t you?”
“He’s a great swimmer.” He cleared his throat. “Can you not fondle his ear like that? You’re giving me a hard-on.”
She straightened, automatically glancing to check whether he was telling the truth. He was. Her eyes met his, her lips twisting wryly, and she glowed inside. He still wanted her. That, at least, was a good sign.
She said nothing, however, and they walked in silence for a few minutes, the sun on her face and arms. To their left t
he surf crashed on the beach, turning the golden sand a caramel color. The sea glittered a brilliant blue. Happiness surged through her…and then she pricked her finger on one of the thorns on the rose in her hand. It was a sharp reminder to keep her wits about her.
Business first, she thought. “I can’t accept the shop from you, Garth.”
“But—”
She held her hand up. “I won’t be beholden to you like that, not after what Ethan did to me. But I am prepared to buy you out. I have the loan papers ready and my mother’s offered her house as collateral, and providing we agree on a price, I can get the money tomorrow. I’d still like to run the shop, but I need to do it myself, you know?”
He studied her for a moment. Then he nodded. “Look, I’ve been thinking a lot over the weekend, about my past, about us. Mat told me I wouldn’t be able to move on until I accepted that Richard and Garth are one and the same person, and I know what he meant, but even so…” He frowned. “I’ve changed so much. I’m a different person now than when I was captured. I think of things in a different way. My whole life has changed. Richard went into that prison, and Garth came out. That’s how I think of it. He’ll always be part of me—I understand that. But Garth is who I am now.” He gave her an apologetic look. “Does that make any sense?”
Actually, it did. Chloe thought she could understand the longing to put his past behind him and to start again, like Nick was about to do. It wasn’t denying his past, or even wishing it had been different. It was about acknowledging the fact that he had to move on, and sometimes things can’t stay the same.
She couldn’t wait any longer—she had to ask. “And what about us?”
He tugged on the leash and Orion sat obediently at his feet. He took Chloe’s hands in his, ignoring the rose’s thorns. “I very much want there to be an ‘us’. More than anything in the world. You mean everything to me, Chloe. You have from the first moment I held you on the plane. You’re so brave and your heart is full of life and adventure, and even though Fate dealt you a difficult hand, you still manage to embody freedom for me. You’re so alive. I love you with all my heart.” He kissed her fingers. “But I’m prepared to take it slow. We can start dating properly, take our time. There’s no need to rush. As long as I know we’re a possibility, I’ll be able to cope.”
Orion sneezed and Garth sent him an impatient look. She bit her lip, trying not to smile, and at that Garth took her in his arms. “Okay, you can’t keep doing that to me. It’s worse than any torture I’ve suffered in the past.” He ran a thumb over her lip, and then he kissed her.
Her heart hammered. He pressed his lips against hers several times and stroked his warm tongue along her bottom lip. Then he grazed his teeth on it and sucked it gently.
“That’s not fair,” she said when he pulled back. “You’re trying to swing my vote.”
“Yep.” He tightened his arms around her.
Chloe hugged him and took a deep breath. Tell him! yelled the devil on her right shoulder.
The angel, surprisingly, agreed. Tell him how you feel.
She sighed. What was the point in hiding how she felt? It was time to make the jump.
“I love you, Garth.”
He went still, and then pulled back to look into her eyes. His widened with surprise at her words.
She smiled tremulously. “I know you said to take it slow, but I’m not going to ignore what I feel anymore. We might not have known each other very long, but what I feel for you is clear. And I can’t deny it any longer.”
The joy in his hazel eyes was too wonderful, and tears spilled down her face. He shook his head and smiled. “No tears. This is a happy, happy day!”
“I love you,” she said again. “That sounds good.”
“I love you too, sweetheart. More than I ever thought possible.”
I thought you were going to take it slow, the angel scolded.
“Shut up,” she said.
He raised an eyebrow. “Pardon?”
“Um, sorry, I wasn’t talking to you.”
It was about time she put the fear of being like her mother behind her. There were no guarantees in life, no assurances that things would turn out good or bad for that matter. She had to learn to take a chance on life, on Garth.
And if he continued to smile at her like he was, with love and desire, she was prepared to jump in with both feet.
It’s a huge risk, the devil said, grinning.
Yes. It was. And she was happy to take it.
And as Orion licked the place where their fingers joined, Garth kissed her, the crash of the waves and the call of the seagulls providing a symphony to his Valentine’s Day declaration.
About the Author
I live in the sub-tropical Northland of New Zealand with my wonderful husband and gorgeous teenage son. I write fun, emotional, and sexy romances in a variety of romantic sub-genres. I’ve won several writing competitions and I’m a member of the Romance Writers of New Zealand.
This book began as an entry for an Aviator Challenge with a well known romance publishing house. The competition asked for a story about a man and a plane. I wrote the first thousand words, and I was thrilled to win first prize! Since then, the story’s gone through several incarnations. I hope you enjoyed reading it.
You can check out all my books at http://www.serenitywoodsromance.com.
Seven Sexy Sins by Serenity Woods is due out from Samhain Publishing on 7th August 2012
The road to passion is paved with guilty pleasures.
Faith Hillman is in a bit of a pickle. She’s been commissioned to write a series of magazine articles on spicing up your love life. She’s got the theme—the “Seven Sexy Sins”—but there’s one major problem. She hasn’t experienced any of them.
Ever since Faith’s older brother gave Rusty Thorne a black eye for kissing her on her eighteenth birthday, he’s kept his distance, waiting for the right time to make his move. This is it. She needs a research partner? He’s the man for the job.
When sex-on-legs Rusty offers his services, Faith is all over it—with one caveat. The notorious heartbreaker must sign a confidentiality contract. Just to keep him safe from her brother’s wrath, of course…and her heart off Rusty’s long list of conquests.
As they work their wicked way through the list, the implications of the contract hit Rusty as hard as the handcuffs binding his wrists to the bed. It isn’t just Faith’s touch that rocks his world. It’s the way his heart likes it that blows his defenses out of the water. And makes him wonder, when the contract ends, if he can bear to let her go.
Warning: Includes rebellious hero who enjoys inserting Tab A into Slots B, C, and even occasionally D. Also includes highly inappropriate use of a Mars Bar.
I hope you enjoy the following excerpt from the book.
Chapter One
“Hey, everyone, Faith’s got a sex problem she needs to talk about.”
It was very late on a hot February evening, and Faith had almost dozed off, lying on the cool tiles with her feet in the pool and her arm across her face. However, as Eve threw the comment into the conversation like a hand grenade, Faith winced and sat up, sensing an impending explosion. She didn’t have long to wait. The three guys sitting around the pool with her and her best friend were quick to voice their opinions on the subject.
Her brother was first. “Jeez, why the hell do I want to know about that?” Dan looked dismayed, as he always did when his little sister’s sex life was the topic of conversation.
The other two shouted him down, however. Toby, who’d also been semi-dozing after his half-a-dozen beers, now sat up in his chair and turned it to face her. “Come on, give us the details.”
Rusty, laconic as ever, lying stretched out on a sun lounger, just said, “Oh yeah,” and winked at her.
Faith refused to be embarrassed. She’d known them all for ten years, since she was twelve and the boys were sixteen. She wasn’t about to start being shy now. Still, she looked at the glass in her hand a
nd cursed Eve for mentioning the issue. She’d only found out about it the day before, and she was still mulling over the details.
“Have another glass of wine,” said Eve. “Then spill the beans.” She’d just got out of the pool, and as she leaned over Faith, drips fell from her wet blonde hair. She offered Faith the bottle of Sauvignon Blanc they were halfway through.
“Thanks.” Faith gave her a glare and took the bottle, topping up her glass. She shouldn’t really have another. She’d been drinking all evening during the party—she found it difficult not to when the weather was so warm. Summer in the sub-tropical Northland of New Zealand was hot and humid, and they spent most of their evenings in and out of the pool, trying to keep cool. Now most of the Waitangi Day party guests were gone, and only the five good friends were left. Faith was tired and ready for bed, but they were all unwilling to end what had been a beautiful sunny day and a fun evening. Which was why they were still sitting by the poolside in the dark, the only light from the solar lamps around the fence, the girls with their feet in the water, listening to the cicadas and the occasional mournful cry of a kiwi bird in the bush.
She sipped her wine and cleared her throat. “Okay, I’m writing a new series of articles for the magazine, and they’ll also appear on the magazine’s website.”
Her brother shook his head. His hair, light brown like hers, curled around his forehead and neck, and she made a mental note to remind him to get it cut. “I still can’t believe there are so many people interested in listening to you witter on about nothing.”
“Thank you, Daniel, for that vote of confidence.”
Eve waggled her finger at him. “You shouldn’t mock her—you know she’s the magazine’s most popular writer. And her column on their website’s been voted the best editorial on women’s matters in the southern hemisphere.”
Summer Fling Page 17
