Big Apple Dreams

by Solomon, Kamery

  “Positive,” she said without a tremor in her voice. “And I’ll tell you why. You’re hiding some real emotion in this song. For whatever reason, you’re afraid of what you’re feeling and you’ve locked it up in the music. So, when you sing it today and tomorrow, you will let all of that go in the song. Your performance will be true to you and what you feel, right now.”

  I thought about what she said, thinking over the words to the song, as I pulled the music from my bag and handed it to her.

  “A New Life,” she said in surprise.

  “Maybe more of a do over for myself,” I laughed.

  “Good,” she said very business-like. “Let’s get to work then.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  The alarm went off suddenly, and I awoke eagerly, a smile already plastered to my face.

  I was invited to a private audition. Me!

  I quickly got out of bed and made a short trip to the bathroom. I’d coached myself about the importance of doing everything normal today, so I got ready to go to the gym.

  I felt happier than I had all month. It felt like today was going to be the start of all my dreams. I only needed to get everything right.

  I quietly snuck out of the apartment, avoiding waking Lizzy, and practically skipped to the gym. Nothing was going to bring me down, today.

  As I ran on the treadmill, my pre-audition monologue going through my head, my phone rang. Lizzy’s picture filled the screen and I smiled, answering it without stopping my workout.

  “Hello?”

  “The Boy Toy sent you like a gazillion flowers!” she squealed on the other end.

  “What?” I asked, stepping off the machine to make sure I heard her right.

  “The service came by to drop off your dress and they brought a million roses with them! The whole apartment is covered in them, I don’t even know where to put a few of the vases.”

  “Oh no,” I moaned. “I forgot about tonight!”

  “Will your audition be done in time?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, a worried frown overtaking my features. “It should be if it’s like all the other ones I’ve been to.”

  “We’ll figure it out when you get home,” Lizzy said reassuringly. “Finish your workout and don’t sweat it. You know what I mean”

  “Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll see you in a few. Thanks, Lizzy.”

  “No problem!”

  I hung up and got back on the treadmill, an anxious knot in my stomach.

  I can’t miss the audition. I might never get an opportunity like this again. I promised Chris I’d be there for him, though.

  Deciding my time would be better spent trying to figure out my predicament, I got off the machine and did some cool down stretches.

  It’s fine, I thought, trying to calm myself. Stay in the audition mindset. Everything is going to work out okay. The audition is at three and you don’t need to be ready to leave for the benefit until six. There’s plenty of time as long as everything goes according to plan at the audition.

  I grabbed the few things I’d brought with me and walked back to the apartment, the same words beating through my head.

  I realized how little Lizzy had been exaggerating when I walked through our front door. The scent of fresh flowers slapped me in the face as I tried to find a surface that wasn’t covered in red petals.

  “Wow,” I said, more shocked than flattered. “This is like, a disgusting amount of flowers.”

  “What are you talking about?” Lizzy asked from her spot on the couch. “This is super romantic! I’ve always wished a man would do something like this for me.”

  As I looked around, I caught sight of my dress hanging on the bathroom door, just as beautiful as the day I’d brought it home.

  “I’m not used to someone throwing this amount of money at me,” I said uncomfortably. “I feel like he’s trying to overcompensate for something.”

  “He’s just happy to have you,” she said, brushing my comment aside. “And I get to enjoy them as well, so there. Be happy for me.”

  “Sure,” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Congratulations on the flowers, Lizzy.”

  “Thank you,” she said with a grin.

  “All right. I need to get in the shower,” I said, looking at the clock on the kitchen wall. “I want to look great, feel great, and be early enough to try and calm down in private.”

  We laughed as I set my bag down and took my shoes off, knowing how excited I really was. The audition was at the theatre instead of a studio space, so I would be performing on a Broadway stage, again. Just the thought made my skin prickle in anticipation.

  Time seemed to slow down as I got ready, excitement being the culprit no doubt. My heart thrummed in my chest with each passing second, my internal clock continually shouting that it was getting closer every second. Finally, the time came to leave.

  “I’d tell you to break a leg, but you don’t need it,” Lizzy said with a smile, walking down to the subway with me.

  “Thanks,” I said nervously, smiling at her as I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and hugged her.

  “I just wish I could know how it went sooner,” she said, pouting. “Stupid work.”

  “I’ll tell you when you get home,” I laughed.

  “You’ll probably be sleeping,” she sighed. “I’m going out with Aiden, tonight.”

  “How is that going?” I asked as we waited for our train.

  “Really good,” she said, a shy smile gracing her face. “He’s super sweet.”

  “You haven’t talked about him much since that first night,” I asked, letting the question hang in the air unasked.

  “I don’t know how far it’s going,” she said nonchalantly. “For right now, I’m just going on a few dates here and there.”

  “Right,” I laughed. “Sure you are.”

  “Don’t tease me!” she scolded as our ride arrived and we got on to take our seats.

  We talked about her love life for most of the ride. I was grateful for the distraction from the nervous voices in my head.

  My voice lesson had gone supremely well the day before. I’d made a tiny emotional breakthrough and felt much better about performing the piece. It sounded better than it ever had before, as well. It couldn’t even be possible for me to be better prepared.

  Our stop arrived and Lizzy and I split ways, well wishes exchanged for our different activities.

  I put my headphones in, going into my bubble, as I walked to the theatre. When I got to the stage door, I gave my name to the man inside and he directed me into one of the dressing rooms, informing me that I was the first to arrive.

  I entered the dressing room and took a seat, putting my headphones back in and taking a couple deep breaths. Just as I was starting to feel calm and ready, another actress walked into the room.

  This happened three more times before someone came and welcomed us all.

  “Good afternoon,” she said warmly. “For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Raquel. I’m the stage manager here at Wicked. We’re going to do things a little differently, today. Instead of just singing and some line reading, we’re going to treat this like a call back and have a personal interview, as well. Each of you will be measured to see if you fit the costumes. We won’t know anything for sure for a couple of days, but each of you will be called and informed of our decision.”

  She then read our names in the order we would be seen. I was dead last.

  “We’ll have the costume team come in and measure you, while you’re waiting for your turn,” Raquel said. “So, Lisa, follow me please. Let’s get started.”

  She smiled as one of the actresses rose from her chair, music in hand, and walked out into the hall after her.

  I turned my music back on, a new wave of nerves washing over me as the process actually started. After a few minutes, a woman with a measuring tape and clipboard came in and measured each of us quickly before sitting down to wait for Lisa to return.

  Slowly, the girls
before me were called out. Only Lisa returned to finish off what was sked of her. Finally, I was left in the room alone, waiting for Raquel to come and get me.

  When the door opened once more, I was ready for whatever was about to happen.

  “Follow me, Mara,” Raquel said with a smile.

  I stowed my ear buds in my bag, along with my phone, and stood, walking through the door she held open for me.

  “How are you doing, today?” she asked as she stepped in front of me, leading me up the stairs.

  “Good,” I said nicely. “I’m excited to be here.”

  “April talked very highly of you,” she laughed. “We’re all excited to see what you have to offer us.”

  “I’m just thankful for the opportunity,” I said honestly.

  “We’re going up onto the stage. All of the audition will happen there. I’ll go out first and introduce you. You can give your music to the pianist during that time. We’re going for more of a laid back feeling, today, so you don’t need to announce your song, or anything. Just sing and we’ll go from there.”

  “Okay. Thank you,” I said nervously.

  We reached the stage doors, and I took one last deep breath as we entered the space, Raquel doing just as she said.

  I went over to the piano, introducing myself and explaining the music for its player. When I turned around, Raquel was leaving the stage. Before I could really think about what I was going to do, I made my way to center stage. Raquel took her seat, and I nodded to the pianist, ready to start.

  An image of Evan flashed into my mind as I started singing, but instead of pushing it away and shutting down, I embraced it. The hurt I’d been feeling wove its way through the words, adding new life to a character I’d taken on many times.

  The music fell silent and I felt a surge of victorious emotions rush through me as I looked out into the house, knowing that once again, I’d given the best performance of my life at the Gershwin.

  I finally let my eyes settle on the small panel a few rows away from the stage. They were all whispering together, their expressions unreadable. Finally, they all settled back into their seats, and Raquel pulled a small microphone to her.

  “Are you familiar with the music in the show?” she asked.

  “Yes,” I said, my heart starting to run a million miles a second as the rush from performing died down.

  “Would you mind singing some of that for us?”

  “What would you like to hear?”

  I sang through a couple chorus pieces for them, as well as one of the major solos of the show. After that, an actor came out and read lines with me. Every now and then, they would interrupt us and give some direction. I did everything to the best of my abilities.

  “Thank you,” Raquel said, standing and motioning for the actor to leave the stage. “Mara, would you come down here, please? We’re going to have a quick interview, now.”

  I nodded and left the stage, using the temporary steps that had been placed on the left hand side of the orchestra pit.

  There was a small table in front of the panel’s seats, so I moved into the row in front of them, taking a seat to the side, so they could all see me.

  They asked about my previous work and some things on the resume I’d handed to the man at the door when I first arrived. They were all easy questions to answer. In the end, they just wanted to know a little about my life and how I’d come to the city.

  Raquel led me back to the hall outside the dressing room and thanked me before heading back to the stage.

  Happily, I walked out onto the street and headed for the subway station. I’d never felt so good about an audition before.

  I glanced down at my phone, wondering if I had time to go into Olive Garden and tell Lizzy about it. With a heart shattering stop, I gasped in horror as I saw the time.

  It was six thirty. I was supposed to be ready and at the benefit thirty minutes ago.

  I started running to the station, hoping that I wouldn’t have to wait for the train. Halfway there, I changed my mind and hailed a cab, asking him to take me home in the fastest way possible.

  My phone rang as we pulled up to the building and I groaned as Chris’s picture filled the screen.

  “I know, I’m so sorry!” I said as I quickly paid the driver and got out of the car. “I’ll be there as soon as I can, I promise!”

  “I’ll send the driver back then,” he said shortly, the click of him hanging up following shortly behind his words.

  “Crap,” I moaned.

  I took the stairs two at a time, bursting through my front door as I started taking my shirt off.

  I’d planned on showering again and fixing my hair elegantly, but it looked like Chris was going to get curly haired, audition made up Mara for his benefit.

  I quickly slid into my dress, somehow managing to get it zipped up on my own. A quick fluff of my hair and some new perfume followed. When I walked through the front door of the building, a black limousine was just pulling up to the curb.

  “Ms. Adams?” the driver asked as he got out.

  “Yes,” I said, not waiting for him to come around and open my door.

  Chris called, again, as we pulled away.

  “Are you on your way?”

  “Yes. I am so sorry, Chris. I lost track of time and—”

  “We can talk about it later,” he said smoothly. “The guests have only just started arriving. We’ll tell them you were in the bathroom and none of them will be the wiser.”

  “Okay,” I said, caught off guard. “Is me not being there, right now, really that big of a deal?”

  “I’m trying to make a good impression on buyers,” he said tightly. “So, yes, it is. Call me when you’ve arrived.”

  “I will. I’m sorry,” I said again.

  “I will see you shortly,” he said.

  “All right.”

  I hung up the phone and let my head fall back against the seat.

  Great.

  When we finally arrived at the correct building, Chris instructed the driver to drop me off at the back entrance. I was beginning to feel like I shouldn’t have come at all. When I got out, there was a woman waiting for me, a box in her hands.

  “I’m Chris’s assistant, Eliza,” she said smoothly. “He said to have you join him in the grand hall after you put on this gift he got you.”

  “Another gift?” I asked in disbelief.

  She opened the box to reveal a beautiful and obviously expensive jewelry set.

  “I can’t take that,” I protested.

  “You can’t go in without it,” she said shortly.

  “Are you serious?”

  She only started at me, the box still open in her hands.

  “Fine,” I grumbled, taking the necklace from her and putting it on first.

  She led me through the building after I passed her inspection, slowing down as we came to a closed door.

  “The party is on the other side,” she explained. “Luckily, this door is also near the restrooms, so your story will seem plausible.”

  “Is he really that upset I’m late?” I asked her.

  “You’re this building’s broker’s girlfriend. When people see you, they will make assumptions about him. So, yes, your lateness will reflect on him. If I were you, I would go to the grave insisting I was in the bathroom.”

  I looked at her in shock, not knowing how to respond to such a statement.

  “Go!” she said, opening the door and pushing me through.

  It clicked shut behind me quickly, and I took a second to gather my surroundings. When my eyes landed on Chris, I let an easy smile fall into place and tried to gracefully walk over to him. I felt like I was in a show, trying to fool everyone into thinking I was someone else.

  “Mara!” Chris said warmly when he saw me, stepping away from the older couple he’d been speaking with. “Are you feeling better?”

  “Quite,” I said, the smile still in place. “I think I just needed to sit down for a few minute
s.”

  “Do you need to leave?” he asked, taking my hand.

  “No, no,” I said, laughing. “I’m much better now, thank you.”

  “You make sure you keep taking good care of her,” the older man said, taking the woman’s hand. “They don’t make them pretty like that very often!”

  “Oh, I will, Mr. Young,” Chris laughed, pulling me to his side. “I love my Mara very much. Whatever she needs, I’m there.”

  It took everything in me to not frown, or push myself away. If this was a show, I definitely didn’t want to be a part of it.

  Unfortunately, the rest of the evening went the same way. Chris kept telling everyone how much he loved me—something he’d never actually said to me—and that he was so lucky to have me. By the end of the night, I’d just about had enough. As we were visiting with the potential buyers, the wife asked me what I did for a living.

  “She’s an area manager for a department store chain,” Chris said smoothly.

  I looked at him, unable to even express the disgust I was feeling at that moment.

  “Chris, dear,” I said shortly. “I’m not feeling very well. I think I’ll go out and get some air.”

  He looked at me in surprise, quickly masking his irritation as he nodded.

  “Of course. I will join you shortly.”

  “Excuse me,” I said to the couple before stepping past them and heading for the back door I’d been let in through.

  By the time I made it outside, I was all but shaking with anger. I couldn’t believe that Chris had basically changed who I was in order to appear in a better light with his clients.

  “What the hell was that?” he asked, bursting through the door and coming down the steps to me.

  “I could ask you the same thing,” I fumed.

  “I was working and making a good impression. You were dorking around and doing whatever you felt like!”

  “Whatever!” My blood was starting to boil as I looked at him. “I did a fine job of playing your perfect little trophy girl.”

  “You were late!” he yelled. “And you kept giving me that stupid look whenever I would talk to people about you. Don’t think I didn’t notice it!”

  “I’m sorry!” I yelled back. “But you’ve never once told me you love me. I don’t think you should lie about your feelings for a job!”