The Cowboy's Homecoming

by Donna Alward

  “He withdrew his proposal?” Rylan’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

  “Very.” She twisted her hands in her lap. She didn’t like talking about it, which was why the only person who knew what had happened was her mom. It had been impossible to hide her distress the night he’d broken it off.

  “But...cripes, Kailey. You run the ranch. It couldn’t run without you.”

  “That’s what I said.” She shook her head. “According to Colt, a woman followed her husband, not the other way around. I had no idea he was so...shortsighted.”

  “Not to mention sexist,” Rylan added. “You’re better off, trust me.”

  “I know,” she whispered, her voice barely audible above the racket of the storm. “But it still hurts sometimes. I know I come across as Fun Kailey. And up until the past year or so, that was enough. But seeing Carrie so happy and Lacey...I realized I want those things, Rylan. And I almost had them.”

  He turned in the seat, unbuckling his seatbelt so he could face her better. “Listen,” he said firmly. “Having it doesn’t matter if it’s with the wrong person.”

  She knew he was right.

  Just as she knew he wasn’t the right person either.

  “I know that. Deep down, I do. Anyway, that’s why I’m not hitched. I’m pretty much married to Brandt Ranch, and it comes with the package.”

  Rylan nodded. “It’s a hell of a legacy. Of course you want to stay there.”

  She was puzzled now. “Okay, so Crooked Valley is your legacy. Why fight taking on your third? You always wanted to be a cowboy. You loved it here as a kid. I know you said it hurt too much to come back, but now you’re here. What’s keeping you from going all the way?”

  He sighed, slumped in his seat. “I don’t know. Fear? Stubbornness? I made myself a promise the day we drove away from here and moved to Helena. I promised myself that when I was old enough I would always, always call the shots in my own life. That no one could make me go anywhere I didn’t want. I cried every night for months, wanting to come back here. My best friend was a fifteen-year-old pony named Daisy, and everyone treated me like she was a stupid pet who didn’t matter and I should just get over it. I had no say. My opinion was brushed off because I was a little kid.”

  “Are you still angry at your mom?”

  His brows pulled together as he thought. “No, not really. The ranch was my dad’s family’s place, and without him she didn’t feel at home. She wasn’t a farm girl. And she had a family to support after he was gone. She did what she had to do. I understand that. She made her decisions and I’ve made mine. The thing is...”

  He paused then. Looked at her and then looked away. “Never mind.”

  For him to stop so suddenly, she knew what he’d been going to say was important.

  She reached over and put her hand on his knee. “What is it, Ry?”

  His gaze met hers. “I didn’t want to come back here because I was afraid I’d turn into that scared little boy again. God, that sounds silly.”

  “No,” she answered, squeezing his thigh. “No, it doesn’t. Our memories shape us into who we become. Sometimes we embrace them. Sometimes we wish we could leave them behind.”

  “I hate fear, do you know that?” His jaw was clenched. “My dad died and I was so scared that something might happen to my mom and we’d be left alone. Then Duke joined the army and I was afraid he’d be killed. I hate that helpless feeling.”

  “And yet your passion is doing something that has the potential to hurt you.”

  He pondered for a moment. “You know, it’s my way of giving fear the finger. I will never, ever let myself be so vulnerable that I turn into that frightened little boy again.”

  Such as staying in one place too long. Such as forging meaningful, long-term relationships. The pieces came together for her now. It was all about self-preservation for Rylan. And damned if she didn’t understand it. Wasn’t that what she’d been doing for the past year?

  “We end up doing some strange things in the name of protecting our hearts,” she mused. “Like Valentine’s Day. After we broke up, Colt moved on so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. It stung. But when you showed up at the dance...I guess I thought it would be a good idea to show him what he’d tossed away.”

  Rylan’s jaw dropped. “You mean I was revenge sex?”

  Her cheeks heated. “This is where I owe you the apology, Ry. I was so hard on you for running out that morning, but my motives were far from pure where you were concerned. I own part of the blame for what happened.”

  He put his left hand to his chest. “Oh, my God. You’ve just shredded the last bit of my pride.”

  A small smile crept up her cheek. “I’m sorry, okay? I should never have gotten up on my high horse and been so rough on you. It was pride, pure and simple. Humiliation. I wasn’t proud of myself, and when I woke up I had to face the music.”

  “I seriously think my feelings are hurt.”

  She patted his knee. “If it’s any consolation at all, once we hit the sheets Colt Black was the furthest thing from my mind.”

  She’d meant to make it sound like a joke, but once the words were out there they were really out there.

  Rylan let out a soft curse. “You need to warn a guy before you say something like that, K. Because if you’re trying to make me forget that night, that’s not the way to do it.”

  And neither was saying that. The rain still poured, and their minutes spent inside the truck had steamed up the windows. They were in their own little world, on a side road in the middle of a storm and nothing to do but fight the temptation that was getting heavier in the air by the second.

  “Why don’t you come over here,” he suggested softly, locking his gaze with hers. “Come over here and kiss me like you know you want to.”

  “Rylan...”

  “No revenge, no promises, no skipping out in the morning. Just you and me, Kailey. I’m not sure how much longer we can do this dance without something giving.”

  Chapter Ten

  Kailey debated for all of two seconds before she tossed caution to the wind. He was right. They’d been fighting this ever since his return. And this time they both knew what they were walking into. And what they weren’t.

  Desire...it took over and rendered everything else irrelevant. With her gaze locked on his, she unbuckled her seat belt while Ry reached for the lever to push the bench seat all the way back. Her heart pounded and her blood raced as she crawled over the upholstery to straddle him. Everything about him was muscled and hard and sweat pooled at the base of her spine, both from the humid air in the cab and how her body heated just being close to him like this.

  She cupped his jaws in her hands and lowered her mouth to his.

  His lips were soft, pliant, beguiling. For long moments she simply enjoyed kissing him, tasting him, the textures of his mouth and the way his left arm came around and pressed her closer to him. Her knees were on either side of his hips and without thinking she shifted her pelvis, rubbing against him, until their breath came hard and fast. Need pounded through her, and she found herself thankful that she’d chosen the light sundress over jeans. The cotton skirt pooled around them and the only fabric that stood between her and the denim of his jeans were the silky white panties she wore.

  His hand pulled on the sundress strap, sliding it roughly off her shoulder, exposing her breast.

  “You didn’t wear a bra,” he marveled, cupping her in his hand.

  “There’s one built in,” she breathed, and gasped as he replaced his hand with his mouth.

  “Rylan,” she murmured, overwhelmed. “Ry.”

  Need took over and she slid a bit backward, fumbling with the button and zip of his jeans, sliding them down and setting him free. Removing her panties proved a little more challenging, but they were both highly motivated now.

  Lightning flashed and thunder boomed as she slid back on top of him.

  “Be sure,” he murmured, putting his palm on her cheek and
looking her dead in the eye. “Be really sure, Kailey.”

  “Shut up, Ry. I don’t want to talk. I just want to feel.”

  He peeled down the other side of her dress and they rode out the storm together.

  * * *

  THE WINDOWS WERE thick with steam as the storm eased, both inside and outside of the truck. Kailey reached for the straps of her dress only to find Rylan’s gentle fingers there, helping her put her clothing back in place. She retrieved her underwear from the floor and slid it over her legs while Rylan tugged at his jeans with his one good hand.

  “Let me help,” she murmured, and together they got his pants back on and she had him buttoned and zipped again.

  “I think the rain is letting up,” he said. He turned the key so that the battery was on and rolled down the window. It was nothing but a light shower now, the violent storm cells moving off to the east.

  Kailey moved to her side of the seat and rolled her window down, too, clearing the moisture from the inside of the pane.

  The windshield was another story. Rylan turned the key all the way and fired up the defrost. He looked over at her with a lopsided smile. “You okay, Curly?”

  The nickname should bother her, but it didn’t. “Better than okay,” she replied, resting against the back of the seat. “I think I really needed that.”

  “Me, too.”

  She chuckled. “Hey, I bet it’s been longer for me.”

  His eyes were so blue that she thought she might drown in them. “Let me guess. February fourteenth?”

  She was pretty sure she was blushing. “Uh, yeah.”

  “Me, too.”

  That was a surprise. Her head came away from the back of the seat as she stared at him. “Really? Even with all your travel and the, uh, buckle bunnies?”

  “Even with.” His gaze softened. “That surprises you?”

  “Well, yeah.” It gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling, knowing that she’d been the only one since the winter. “You’re Rylan Duggan. Sexy bronc rider. Charming drifter.”

  “Charming, huh?”

  “Maybe a little. Mostly a pain in my ass.”

  The smile he sent her was so sweet her heart ached with it.

  “What happens now, Ry? No pressure, okay? I just want to know where we stand. No confusion. No...surprises.”

  The windshield was starting to clear, and Rylan rolled up his window most of the way to keep the light rain from getting in the cab. “I like you, Kailey. I like you a lot. I like being with you and arguing with you and God knows I like...the sex. I just can’t make promises. If you’re looking at me like you were looking at this Colt guy—as a settle down forever kind of thing—you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. But if you know that going in and you’re still interested, I want to see you again. I’m not ready for this to be over.”

  She’d known before tonight ever happened that this would be the outcome if they ever gave in to their desires. Knowing it didn’t stop the little bit of disappointment from hearing him say it, though. If they carried on, it was with the full knowledge that it was short term. An affair.

  The big question was how badly did she want him? Enough to agree to this kind of an arrangement, knowing the conclusion in advance? Would it be worth it?

  Then she got the strange stirring deep in her pelvis simply from the memory of making love to him. Being with Ry was like having the earth shift beneath her feet, like fireworks, like nothing she’d ever experienced. Could she really let that go so soon?

  “I’m not ready for it to be over either,” she whispered. “I don’t know what you do to me, Ry, but I’m not going to be satisfied with just tonight.”

  He shifted on the seat, scooting over to be closer to her. She turned her face up to his and he kissed her, long and deep.

  “I love your honesty,” he said, his lips by her ear. “I swear to God, it turns me on.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “You’re just figuring that out now?” He nibbled on her earlobe, teasing.

  If he wasn’t careful, she was going to start climbing all over him again.

  “You want to stay at the house tonight?” he asked, and to add a little persuasion, he slid his tongue down the tendon of her neck.

  She shivered. “I’d better not tonight. I don’t have a change of clothes, and my parents will wonder if I don’t come home. Not that I need their permission, but I’d rather avoid that awkward conversation tomorrow morning.”

  “It’s your house.”

  “And they know I haven’t moved in yet.” She touched her finger to the tip of his nose. “Don’t be so impatient.”

  “Can you blame me? I just had my mind blown. I’d like for that to happen again.” He winked at her. “As soon as possible.”

  “Tomorrow night,” she suggested. “I’ll bring a load of stuff over after dinner. It might take me a while to get back home again.”

  “It’s a date.”

  They were doing this. Embarking on an affair. It was all terribly exciting, yet she couldn’t quite rid herself of the nagging feeling that it wasn’t going to turn out happily in the end. Would they be able to walk away unscathed?

  Could she truly let go and just enjoy the moment for once?

  Now that the steam was gone from the windows, Rylan put the truck in gear and they pulled a U-turn, headed back toward the main road and Gibson. The road was washed clean from the rain, and the sky was lightening to the west, little lines of peach and purple marking the sunset.

  He dropped her off at home. Drops of rain still clung to the flowers and shrubs surrounding her porch. “Thanks for dinner,” she said softly, picking up her purse. “I, uh, had a really nice time.”

  “Me, too, K. Me, too.”

  There was an awkward moment where she was undecided about whether or not to kiss him good-night. He put the truck in Park and faced her, his eyes twinkling.

  “Is this one of those ‘do we or don’t we’ moments?”

  She laughed, her breath coming out in a soft, feminine sound she hadn’t known she was capable of making. “Kind of,” she replied.

  “I vote for do. Then I can take the taste of your lips home with me.”

  Had she really called him charming earlier? It was more than that. Rylan knew how to be sweet. And if he wasn’t sincere, he definitely had a knack of appearing convincing.

  She leaned in partway, he did, too, and they kissed goodbye, a sweet, lingering kiss that ended with a soft parting of lips and a sigh. At least on her part.

  “Good night, Kailey.”

  “Good night, Ry.”

  She opened her door and hopped out of the truck, then slid her purse strap over her shoulder. At the bottom of the porch steps she turned around and gave a little wave, and he lifted one finger off the steering wheel in a casual acknowledgment. Then he put the truck in gear and headed back out the driveway.

  * * *

  IT TURNED OUT that having a relationship with Rylan wasn’t as fraught with difficulty as she’d expected. Work on the ranches kept them busy during the day, and Rylan moved back to Crooked Valley after the single night they spent at her house. She wondered if it was because staying at her house would have felt a little too much like something permanent, but she tried not to dwell on it. For right now, living their own lives with their own purposes seemed to be working well.

  Rylan’s shoulder improved and his bruising faded, and he dutifully went to his physical therapy appointments, wanting to be completely healed and healthy to return to competition.

  The haying was mostly finished for the season and on her visits to Crooked Valley, Kailey spent time with Carrie and little Evan, and helped Lacey in the kitchen during her first year of putting up garden harvest. Kailey had been doing it with her mom for years, so she spent fun evenings helping Lacey can tomatoes, green and yellow beans, carrots, beets and dill pickles. When they were done, she and Rylan often would go for a walk in the moonlight. Sometimes they’d miraculously end up at his camper, sa
tisfying their hunger for each other that never seemed to go away.

  One of Kailey’s mares came into heat and they bred her to Rattler, hoping for a healthy foal the next summer. During a particularly hot dry spell, they met at the swimming hole after quitting time and made love in the cool, refreshing water, laughing at some of the awkward logistics but totally enamored with the feel of the cool water on their hot skin. Afterward, they lay on the grassy bank on soft towels, and Rylan made love to her again, slowly and thoroughly, so that when they parted ways she was sure she gave off a glow the whole way home.

  In September, Brandt was taking a fair number of stock to a rodeo in Lewiston. The foreman who normally traveled with the stock was taking a little vacation since his wife had just had their fourth baby, so Kailey decided to make the trip herself. A few days before, she asked Rylan to go with her.

  They were over at the Brandt spread, walking back from the east pasture when she put forth the invite.

  “So...Lewiston coming up this week.”

  “Weather looks good. You’re traveling with the crew?”

  She nodded, but her heart was pounding like crazy. Why was she so nervous about asking him, anyway? “Have you missed it?”

  “Missed what?” He looked over at her, his eyes shadowed from the sun by his hat. Truth be told, she never got tired of looking at him. The sexy quirk to his lips, the strong jaw, the little bit of reddish-brown hair that curled just above his collar... Rylan Duggan was as sexy as they came.

  “The show. I mean, you lived it every weekend up until a month ago.” He’d stopped wearing his sling after the first two weeks, and was slowly working on getting strength and mobility back.

  “I do,” he confessed. “Don’t get me wrong, working with the horses at home has been good. But yeah, I miss it.” He grinned. “Maybe I have an addiction.”

  Just ask him, a voice in her head said.

  “So...why don’t you come with me? We’re leaving Tuesday at noon and coming back Saturday night. It’ll be busy, but you can take in the competition, see some of the guys, and I’ll have some company other than Dan and Jim.” She named the two hands who would be traveling with her. “Not that there’s anything wrong with them, but, well, there’s generally just chew, spitting and monosyllables.”