Cut and Thrust

by Stuart Woods

  “Ed Eagle has been trying every other way for years, to no avail. It’s down to me, now. I’m all he has left.”

  “Well, I can’t tell you not to get involved, I guess. Ed is a friend of Stone’s, and we owe Stone so much.”

  “I was able to pass something on to Stone that I hope will help. Barbara is starting a campaign of interviews to make Ed look like the bad guy in all this.”

  “That’s terrible!”

  “Yes, and I hope that someone can do something to counteract her campaign.”

  “Don’t worry yourself, Stone will think of something.”

  “I hope you’re right,” Billy said. “Otherwise, I’m going to have to think of something else. Barbara and her husband are looking for a house in Bel-Air, I hear. If they find something in L.A., that will make her more accessible.”

  “I just hope this all goes away,” Betsy said.

  “It will go away,” Billy replied. “One way or another.”

  —

  ANN PUT HER fork down. “That was just wonderful,” she said. “Now I think I have the fortitude to tell you what happened today.”

  “That sounds bad.”

  “As I said before, it depends on how you define ‘bad.’”

  “Tell me.”

  “You must never breathe a word of this to a living soul,” she said. “Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  Ann took a deep breath. “I think Kate may be pregnant.”

  Stone sat and stared at Ann. “Did Kate tell you that?”

  “No, she didn’t, but you know how cool and calm Kate always is?”

  “Yes, I’ve noticed that about her.”

  “Well, now she’s nervous to the point where she’s been throwing up. I’ve caught her twice.”

  “I should think that being the candidate is enough to make her nervous.”

  “Maybe, but have you seen any of the campaign commercials?”

  “Only one.”

  “Did you notice how she seemed to . . . glow?”

  “That was probably just makeup.”

  “She wasn’t wearing makeup,” Ann said. “The director told her she didn’t need it. Only two things make a woman glow like that—a new love or pregnancy.”

  “I wouldn’t think there would be time in her life for a new love.”

  “No, there wouldn’t be, and she loves Will Lee so intensely that it just wouldn’t be possible.”

  “So, to your mind, the only other possibility is . . .”

  “Exactly.”

  “Let me ask you this: If she were pregnant, do you think she would tell you?”

  “I’ve thought about that, and I believe she would. I don’t think she would tell Molly, they don’t have that kind of relationship—but Kate and I do.”

  “Would she tell Will?”

  “Oh, yes, she wouldn’t keep that from him.”

  “How old is Kate?”

  “That’s classified,” Ann said, “and you will never have a high enough security clearance to find out.”

  “All right, is she fifty yet?”

  “I’ll give you that much—no.”

  “Has she been through menopause?”

  “No. I would know about that.”

  “Then it’s possible she could be pregnant.”

  “It’s extremely unlikely. I mean, she has the son, Peter, from her first marriage to Simon Rule, but that was a long time ago. I happen to know that she and Will have one hell of a good sex life—that’s classified, too—but I always thought Will might be sterile. On the other hand, she could have been on the pill all that time.”

  “Well, it would certainly be a first,” Stone said. “A pregnant presidential candidate.”

  “The first that we know about,” Ann said.

  “Have you thought about the ramifications?”

  “I’ve thought of nothing else all day. All week, really, but my suspicion has been growing.”

  “Are you going to ask her?”

  “Certainly not—that would limit her options.”

  “How do you mean, options?”

  “Well, she could choose to have an abortion,” Ann said. “She’s strongly pro-choice, and I assume for herself as much as for other women.”

  “If she decided to do that, do you think she would reveal it—either before or after the fact?”

  “Certainly not before the fact, but after, who knows? I mean, there are more people in this country who favor a woman having the option, if polls are to be believed.”

  “And most of those who are opposed to it would be opposed to Kate anyway, wouldn’t they?”

  “Among Republicans, yes. Among independents, maybe. It’s not a political calculation I’d want to have to make.”

  “Then suppose she decides to have the baby? That would pose wardrobe problems, wouldn’t it?”

  “I don’t think so. After all, Kate is tall and slim, and she told me once that when she was pregnant with Peter, she hardly showed at all. She was an analyst at the Agency then, and she wasn’t sure how her superiors would react, since they were all men at that time.”

  “Then she might be able to keep a pregnancy secret, until after the election?”

  “Conceivably,” Ann said, “pun intended.”

  “All right, suppose she announced it, or that the news leaked? What effect would it have on the campaign?”

  “I believe,” Ann said, “not to put too fine a point on it, it would cause the biggest fucking uproar you could possibly imagine. Think of the royal baby, and multiply that by a hundred.”

  “What kind of uproar? Favorable or unfavorable?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine. It’s the sort of thing we’d need to do a poll on, and we certainly can’t do that.”

  “What about the opinion of women?”

  “My guess would be, supportive, at least most women.”

  “And men?”

  “Horrified. But maybe I’m wrong, who knows?”

  “What are you going to do, Ann?”

  “I’m going to wait until Kate decides to tell me.”

  “And what will you do then?”

  “Punt.”

  Stone called Dino.

  “Commissioner’s office,” a gruff male voice said.

  “This is Stone Barrington. May I speak to the commissioner, please?”

  “Who?”

  “He’ll know the name.”

  “Tell me again.”

  “Stone . . . Barrington. Would you like me to spell it?” He was put on hold without comment.

  After a count of about forty, the voice came back. “Commissioner,” he said, “the Barrington guy is on.”

  “Stone?” Dino said.

  “I think so,” Stone replied. “After talking with your new secretary, I’m not sure.”

  “Oh, that guy. Tom liked an all-male presence on the phones. He thought it sounded more official.”

  “You need some women in there, pal. What happened to your old secretary?”

  “I had to leave her behind to break in the new chief of detectives.”

  “So who’s the new chief?”

  “I haven’t decided. There are several candidates.”

  “Want some free advice?”

  “What’s it going to cost me?”

  “Nothing, if you follow it. Appoint a woman.”

  “Are you kidding me? You think all those squad guys out in the precincts would take orders from a woman?”

  “Think of it this way: Could Viv do the job?”

  “Hah!” Dino snorted. “She could do this job, and probably better than I can.”

  “There’s your answer.”

  “Appoint Viv? I can’t do that.”

  “If Viv is go
od enough to do the job, there are other women around there who can do it, too. How many women in the department are captains?”

  “I don’t know, half a dozen, maybe eight.”

  “There’s your short list. How many of them had a career as a detective?”

  “Probably most of them.”

  “Here’s what you do—call your old secretary and have her look up all their files and e-mail them to you. Don’t tell anybody anything. If some of them look good for it, interview them. But not in your office. Somewhere else.”

  “Where could I interview them? I can’t take them to the restaurants around here.”

  “Have them up to your apartment and interview them there. And don’t forget to tell Viv what you’re doing.”

  “What am I going to do about the four guys camped outside my office, answering the phones and typing letters?”

  “Are they all sergeants?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Get them out of there. Give them plum jobs in different precincts. And tell them that if they pass the lieutenant’s exam, you’ll promote them. They won’t have anything to bitch about.”

  “I’ve got a public affairs guy I like. Should I replace him with a woman?”

  “If you like him, keep him. If he’s a sergeant, promote him, too.”

  “He’s already a lieutenant.”

  “Then tell him to take the captain’s exam. The rank will give him more authority with the press.”

  “You think I should have four women outside my door?”

  “If you do, three of them should be in uniform. And the hell with the new chief—get your old secretary up there. If the new guy’s any good, he’ll find his way. You did.”

  “Tom should have appointed you commissioner,” Dino said.

  “Horseshit. Can you and Viv get free for dinner? Just me, Ann’s working.”

  “Viv’s on the road again. I can make it at eight. Patroon?”

  “See you there.” Stone hung up and found Ed Eagle standing in the doorway.

  “You off?”

  “Just waiting for Fred to bring the car around,” Eagle said, sitting down.

  “When’s your plane?”

  “In two hours.”

  “You’d better tell Fred to shake his ass.”

  “That’s plenty of time, Stone.”

  “How long since you flew commercial?”

  “Inside the U.S.? I can’t remember the last time.”

  “You need to be there very early these days, so they can strip you and do a cavity search.”

  Eagle laughed. “It’s that bad, is it?”

  “Just don’t smart off to one of those ladies with the little wand, when she waves it at your crotch.”

  “I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

  “They’ll probably want to examine your dental work, too.”

  “I’ll open up on request.”

  “And tell me you aren’t armed or carrying anything in your briefcase.”

  “It’s in my bag,” Ed said.

  “Loaded?”

  “Unloaded.”

  “Where’s the ammunition?”

  “In the bag.”

  “Put it in another bag, not the same one with the gun.”

  “Oops, I’d better do that now.”

  “You’d better tell Susannah, too.”

  “Tell me what?” Susannah asked from the doorway.

  “Not to go into the terminal armed.”

  Eagle explained it to her.

  “Okay, I’ll do some repacking, too.”

  “Do it now,” Stone said, “not at the terminal. And remember to declare the weapons at the ticket desk. There’s a form you have to fill out.”

  “All right, all right,” Eagle said, getting up. “I’ll tell Fred to open the trunk.” They said their goodbyes and left by the street exit.

  Stone got to Patroon first; the owner, Ken Aretzky, had already settled him in a booth with a drink, when he heard half the patrons burst into applause, and looked up to see Dino arriving, blushing and waving at the crowd.

  “Commissioner,” Ken said, “congratulations. It’s an honor to have you here.”

  Dino leaned in close. “Thanks, Ken, now go fuck yourself.”

  Aretzky walked away laughing and signaled a waiter to bring Dino a drink.

  “Can you believe all that?” Dino asked, sliding into a booth.

  “You’d better get used to it, pal, it’s going to be that way until you retire or get thrown out.”

  A bottle of wine they hadn’t ordered arrived, and it was an expensive one.

  “Jesus, I can’t take that,” Dino said.

  “We’ll pretend it’s for me,” Stone said. “Perfect,” he said to the waiter. “I’ll taste it.”

  The waiter poured him some, and Stone sampled it. “We’ll drink it,” he said, and the waiter poured for both of them.

  Dino tried it. “That’s the best bottle of wine I’ve ever had, outside your house,” he said.

  “So,” Stone said, “how was your first day?”

  “Well, I got Maxie back.”

  “Who?”

  “My secretary, Maxie.”

  “I never knew that was her name.”

  “It’s Maxine, but she hates that. And she got me the files on the lady captains, too.”

  “Have you had a chance to look them over?”

  “I did, and I realized there is one outstanding choice—Stephanie Walters.”

  “The new captain at the one-niner?”

  “New two years ago,” Dino said. “As a detective, she had a better arrest record than I did, and she’s known to be squeaky clean. She made captain a lot sooner than I did, too.”

  “That’s only because you wouldn’t take the exam until Tom Donnelly made you.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Are you going to interview her?”

  “I got her down to my office this afternoon and offered her the job, and she took it in a flash.”

  “What sort of family has she got?”

  “An ex-husband, who’s captain at the four-four, in Brooklyn. Two kids—a boy in his first year of law school at John Jay, and a girl who’s a senior at Harvard Law. The girl wants to be an ADA, and the boy’s headed for the department. Their grandfather was commissioner, back in the day.”

  “She sounds perfect.”

  “A looker, too, a redhead. The press loves her. Listen, pal, I’ve got to thank you—if not for our conversation this morning, I wouldn’t have even thought of her.”

  “Don’t mention it.”

  “I’ve scattered my sergeants to the four winds, and Stephanie had recommendations for three female sergeants, who’ll be at their desks on Monday.”

  “Is everybody happy?”

  “I promoted all the old sergeants to detective. Believe me, they’re happy.”

  “Sounds like you had a good day.”

  “I did, I did. How was yours?”

  “I saw off Ed and Susannah this morning. Can you believe they didn’t know the rules for carrying guns on the airline? They haven’t flown commercial in years.”

  “If you hadn’t told them, I’d be getting them out of jail about now,” Dino said. “How’s Ann’s job going since Kate got the nomination?”

  “She’s pretty busy,” Stone said.

  “Hey, I had a funny thought this afternoon, apropos of nothing. What would happen if Kate got pregnant?”

  Stone choked on his drink.

  “Not a good idea to inhale bourbon,” Dino said. “Did I strike a nerve?”

  Stone gradually got control of himself. “Don’t ever say that,” he said.

  “Say what? If Kate got pregnant?”

  “Shut up, Dino,” Stone whispered “There are hal
f a dozen media types within spitting distance of us, and waiters are nosy, too. If you were overheard saying that, the press would have her with child by morning. That’ s how rumors start.”

  “You mean she’s not pregnant?”

  “Well, she hasn’t intimated any such thing to me,” Stone said.

  “Can you imagine the uproar if she was?”

  “Just barely. Now stop talking about that. Tell me who you’re going to fire, now that you have the power.”

  “Oh, there are a few guys who’ve been on the job longer than is good for the department,” Dino said. “I’ll find ways to ease them out.”

  “You crafty bastard! I’m glad you weren’t commissioner when I was a cop!”

  Stone got home to find Ann sitting naked in bed, watching the Republican convention. Stone got naked and joined her. “I’d forgotten it was on,” he said.

  “They’re balloting, and Henry Carson is well ahead. No excitement here.”

  They watched listlessly while the balloting continued, and the TV guys gave the nomination to Carson. So did the convention, a short time later.

  “Tell me about Carson,” Stone said.

  “Somebody said he makes Mitt Romney look like a hippie. Is that enough?”

  “Is he smart?”

  “About as smart as the average Republican senator.”

  “Is he a veteran?”

  “Yes, of what, in his day, was called the draft-dodger program of the Air National Guard. He flew tankers. Around the Southwest.”

  “Well, at least he’s a pilot.”

  “Yeah, he is—flies his own airplane, like you, except it’s not a jet, it’s a little one.”

  “What kind?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “How long has he been in the Senate?”

  “Four terms. He’ll be up for reelection in two years if he doesn’t win the election.”

  “Who’s his VP nominee going to be?”

  “Probably Max Post, of Texas, whose sobriquet is ‘Thick as a post Post.’”

  “Is he the guy who suggested that Texas should secede from the Union?”

  “One of them.”

  “You think we should let them?”

  “In my heart, yes, but the good news is that the Hispanic population there is growing so fast that the Republicans soon won’t be able to elect a candidate to statewide office.”