Kisses to Remember

by Christine DePetrillo

  Sabrina Donovan had the answers.

  After finding a spot a few buildings away from DE, Holden left the car and surveyed the sleek skyscraper that used to be his employer. He craned his head up and almost couldn’t see the entire building from his position on the sidewalk below. Puffy, white clouds surrounded the shiny glass of the top floors. A quick image of being up there on a sunny day made Holden squint. He remembered it being like a greenhouse only there weren’t any plants, just machines. Donovan Electronics machines.

  He tried again to picture Sabrina Donovan, but even with Johanna’s description he couldn’t remember her. He had to see her. Live. In person. Whatever the risk.

  He looked at his watch. 12:15 p.m. Glancing up and down the street, he noticed business types in their suits or khaki pants and dress shirts. Much of the crowd carried laptop bags and oversized coffee cups as they headed into and out of nearby buildings.

  Props. I need props.

  He continued walking until he came across a small electronics store on the next street. DE cell phones, laptops, MP3 players and other assorted gadgets were displayed in the shop’s window. Holden went in and bought a laptop bag and a cell phone. The clerk looked at him a little oddly when he didn’t want to purchase a service plan for the phone. He’d probably eventually get one, but that was a job for another day. Today, the phone was simply a way into Donovan Electronics.

  Slinging the laptop bag over his shoulder and tucking his shirt into his pants, Holden made his way back toward the DE building. He waited until a group of six guys approached the front entrance and put the cell phone up to his ear. He tacked himself onto this group, pretending to have a conversation as he maneuvered into the middle of them. They passed en masse by the disinterested security guard, Holden along with them. His heart knocked against his ribs as he fought the urge to look over his shoulder.

  Keep walking, man. You’re in. You’re like everyone else that works here. Just another drone.

  He mumbled sentences into the phone as he peered left and right and walked toward the elevator, staying a few steps behind the group he’d used as cover. The familiar claustrophobia of being inside the corporate headquarters spread over him. He recalled getting called to do flights and having to report to the airport instead of here. He recalled preferring that. Vaughn too, although his friend had wanted to come here for something.

  What was it? He pretended to be listening on the phone as he got onto the elevator, shaking his head every once and a while, but truthfully the people around him were engaged in their own conversations. One woman toward the back of the cramped elevator smiled at him. He smiled back, but dropped his gaze to his shoes as he said something about a meeting at three o’clock this afternoon into the phone.

  The elevator stopped at the seventh, fourteenth, nineteenth, and twenty-first floors before totally emptying out. Holden stuffed the phone into his pocket and pushed twenty-seven, the highest number on the panel. If he were CEO, he guessed he’d take the top floors as his base, the peak of his kingdom.

  The doors of the elevator slid open, and the first thing to pop into Holden’s head was, Don’t break anything. Large flatscreens hung on the walls like expensive picture frames. The DE logo—Johanna’s logo—flickered on the screens while a feminine computer voice boasted facts about the company.

  Holden stepped out of the elevator, wishing there was a way to keep the doors open. Just in case. Gripping the strap of the laptop bag, he approached a skinny man with square-framed glasses sitting at a glass-topped desk. The electronic nameplate on the desk read Aaron Spencer in block letters. The name was familiar. When Aaron looked up and focused on Holden, a shocked expression flitted across the man’s face, and Holden remembered him as Sabrina’s assistant. Aaron swallowed, his Adam’s apple struggling in his narrow, pencil neck.

  “Can I help you, sir?” Aloof arched eyebrows replaced Aaron’s rattled look, but it was too late. Holden knew the guy had recognized him.

  “I think you already did, Aaron.” Holden rested his palms on Aaron’s desk and stared down at him. The man’s eyes were huge behind his lenses.

  “How did you get in here?” Aaron whispered, darting a glance to either side of Holden.

  Holden leaned down. “Why does this company think I don’t exist?”

  “It’d be better for you if you didn’t exist.” Aaron stood slowly. “Turn around, get back on the elevator, and go away. Far away. I don’t want to be a part of this anymore.” The man’s hands trembled.

  Holden shook his head, though Aaron’s warning made his legs wobble a little. “I want to see Sabrina Donovan.”

  “She’s not here,” Aaron said.

  At that moment, the flatscreen behind Aaron flashed a picture of a woman, probably in her early forties, with white-blond hair pulled back into a strict hairstyle. Her gray-blue eyes screamed predator and all of a sudden, Holden knew he was the prey.

  A hundred inappropriate comments sounded in his brain. A thousand lusty glances invaded his memory. Countless brushes of her hand against some part of his body rushed into his mind. Sabrina Donovan had made a pastime of coming on to him. Always subtle, she’d tried to lure him into her bed repeatedly. This realization goosebumped Holden’s skin.

  Then the memory of the last time he’d spoken to Sabrina came to him. In her office. With Vaughn. Late at night. After flying San Fran execs. The invoice. The questionable supplies. The implied use of DE equipment in weapons’ manufacturing.

  Oh, God. Had he and Vaughn been…silenced?

  Only he was still here, still able to talk.

  Holden grabbed a handful of Aaron’s black silk shirt. “Where is Sabrina?”

  Aaron let out a little noise. “She’s coming for you. In Nebraska.”

  Holden let go of Aaron and bolted for the elevator.

  ****

  Having finished her meeting and her matchmaking for the day, Johanna gave Dina and Meri a wave as she put her laptop away. Evan had told her to stop by his office tomorrow and they’d hash out all the details. They could have talked specifics today, but after Meri had said she’d love to have drinks with him, Evan had suddenly lost all his focus.

  Men. Just once she’d like to meet one who could multi-task. Or maybe she had. Holden was able to plan a wonderful meal, transform a barn into a five-star hotel room, and make her body rejoice. Thinking of him made a contented hum vibrate in her throat as she tossed her laptop case into the Bronco. She wished there was a way to call him, to make sure he was okay. She didn’t like that he was headed to DE, to Sabrina Donovan. She also didn’t like the anxious feeling that had been with her since Holden had left.

  Perhaps focusing on his homecoming would settle her. Johanna dug her cell phone out of her purse and dialed her house. She’d left Kam with Ted while she went to her meeting. Nurse Nancy was due to make another house call, but that wasn’t until the evening so maybe the boys would like some Chinese food for dinner. She could use that to bargain for a few more hours to herself. A few more hours to do a little shopping.

  The phone rang several times before the answering machine picked up. Kam’s voice filled Johanna’s ear, and she couldn’t help but smile at the sound of her son.

  You’ve reached the Wares. Leave a message and maybe we’ll call you back.

  At the beep, Johanna said, “Hello? It’s me, guys.” She waited a few seconds expecting one of them to pick up. When no one did, she continued, “Okay, well maybe you’re outside or something. I’m going to run a few errands then pick up some Chinese food for dinner. If you need me, call my cell. Love you. Bye.”

  She hung up and started the Bronco. With her phone in her lap just in case Kam or Ted called her right back, she drove out of Café Coeur’s lot and headed for the small shopping center down the street.

  Ten minutes later, after stalking someone for a parking space, she found herself standing in the lingerie section of a women’s clothing store. She felt like an alien in uncharted space as racks and racks of bas
ically transparent fabric held together by lace surrounded her. It had been so long since she’d thought about sexy unmentionables. She fingered a black silk panty set on the rack closest to her. Holden had said he liked sensible cotton underwear, but she had a feeling he’d be completely in favor of this number as well.

  But did she still have the body to pull it off?

  “May I help you?” a salesperson asked, making Johanna jump and drop her hand from the panty set. “Oops, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “Actually, I think it’s this lingerie that’s scaring me.” Johanna scanned the sea of scantiness and though she was currently fully clothed in a long, flowered skirt and a cap-sleeved top, she felt exposed.

  “Oh, my, a figure like yours is dying to wear this stuff, honey.” The salesperson picked up a royal blue nightie with thin, silk shoulder straps and a deep V neckline. “This baby rides low at the chest and high at the thighs. Covers the important stuff, but gives a nice tease. Want to try it on?” She angled her head toward the fitting rooms.

  “Why not?” Johanna shrugged. “What else do you suggest? I’d like to take in a few so I can get really embarrassed in there.”

  The salesperson, whose nametag read Ava, laughed. “I’m telling you, you’re going to love everything you try on.”

  “Why? Are the mirrors magical or something?”

  Another laugh as Ava gathered four more items, all of which could have fit comfortably in a small sandwich bag at once. She unlocked a fitting room and hung the lingerie on the door. “I’ll check on you in a few minutes, okay?”

  “Yes. You’re going to want to make sure I haven’t slit my wrists.”

  “Oh, stop. Look at you. You’re gorgeous. Cindy, isn’t she gorgeous?”

  Another salesperson appeared. “Absolutely. I mean, look at that hair.” Cindy’s hair looked as if someone had experimented with it. Not really blond, not really brown, not really red. Some amalgam that had come out orangey-yellowish-tan instead.

  “Well, thanks for your vote of confidence, ladies,” Johanna said. “We’ll see how it all turns out.”

  She closed the fitting room door and set her purse down on the little bench inside. Before taking any clothes off, she stared at herself in the mirror. Not a magical one, by the way, though Johanna had to admit she did have a certain…radiance that had been missing for quite some time. About three years’ time.

  Longer than that. Alex had been in jail for three years, but she’d stop being genuinely happy way before that. She’d faked it pretty good for Kam and Kallie, but truth was, she was lonely for the adult companionship she’d expected to have with Alex. When they were together, things were great, but that was a rarity because he’d worked so much. And then Kallie got sick and all their energy focused on her. She and Alex never had time to hang out, to just flirt with one another, to make love in the barn on a hot, summer’s night.

  Holden, on the other hand. Johanna shimmied out of her skirt and pulled her shirt over her head. She’d bet her life he was a man who could manage it all. A job, hobbies, family, and an intimate relationship. She was looking forward to trying with him.

  She slipped the royal blue number on, and Ava had been right. The top revealed just enough creamy white skin between her breasts and the hemline hovered at mid-thigh. Her legs looked long, her breasts perky. Maybe the mirrors were magic.

  She imagined Holden slipping his hand underneath this piece to tease her skin. In that instant, she decided to buy it. After trying on the other garments, she bought two of them as well. Ava and Cindy prattled on and on at the register, pleased Johanna had found the merchandise to her liking. Johanna was surprised that her initial discomfort at being in the lingerie department had turned to a sense of liberation, of adventure instead.

  Sensible cotton was about to take a vacation.

  ****

  After a quick stop back at his house for his bag, Holden had pushed his rental car to its limits to get to the airport. He would have liked to hop into a cockpit and zip to Nebraska on his own, but men who frantically wanted to rent small planes immediately aroused the suspicion of Homeland Security. Instead he boarded the first flight he could find and now sat in the twelfth row, fingers gripping the armrest, as clouds whizzed by the window.

  Of course Sabrina knew where the plane had crashed. She had ordered the hasty clean up. Not to mention being the one who had ordered the crash in the first place. A full body shudder wracked Holden’s body as he thought about nearly dying because of what he and Vaughn had found out. Another shiver when he recalled that Vaughn had died.

  The young woman sitting next to him touched his forearm. “Are you okay, sir?” She had on a Harvard sweatshirt and looked about college age with straight, blond hair pulled back in a high ponytail.

  “Yeah, thanks. Just hate flying,” he lied.

  “It’s safer than driving your car, you know.” She offered him some M&Ms.

  Holden took a few, recalled Johanna’s apocalypse stash in her basement, and the urgency to get to Nebraska increased tenfold. Would Sabrina hurt Johanna? Or Kam? Or Ted? God, he had to get there like now.

  “I’m Tammi,” College Girl said.

  “Holden.”

  “That’s a fun name. Don’t know anyone named Holden.” She lowered her voice when she said his name. “Are you heading home, Holden?”

  “Yes. Yes, I am.” He hoped he made it there before Sabrina did. If anything happened to Johanna or Kam…

  “Me too.” She paused for a second. “Is any of this small talk taking your mind off our current altitude?”

  Holden looked at her now. “It is. Thank you.” He pointed to her sweatshirt. “Do you go there?”

  Tammi nodded. “I’m almost done with their law program. Need a lawyer?”

  Do you take attempted murder and international weapons manufacturing cases?

  “I’ll keep you in mind if I do.”

  “Wonderful.” Tammi wrote her name and email down on sheet of paper and handed it to Holden. “I plan to set up an office in Ainsworth, Nebraska. I know it won’t be like setting up in D.C. or New York, but I think small town law will be fun too.”

  “You never know what cases will cross your desk.” Holden folded the paper and put it in the pocket of his dress shirt.

  “Take another handful of these,” she wiggled the M&M bag, “and you let me know if you need more small talk.” She massaged her temples. “I’ve got to get this paper done. My mother will kill me if all I do is work while I’m visiting her.”

  While Holden popped M&Ms into his mouth, Tammi’s fingers flew across her laptop. The only thing he had to work on was what to do when he found Sabrina in Nebraska. Obviously, she wanted him dead. She’d sent Vaughn and him out on a faulty plane, one she’d had someone tamper with. She’d thought she’d protected her company, her secret weapons dealings, herself.

  But here I am. A loose end with the ability to blow the whistle. Of course he didn’t have the invoice. They’d turned that over to Sabrina. He didn’t have a crashed plane. She’d cleaned that up. He didn’t have a witness. Vaughn was dead. All he had was his word and a newly returned memory. Not the best of evidence. He didn’t even know what to say if he called the police.

  He shook his head. His first concern was Johanna and Kam. Nothing could happen to them. He’d figure out how to prove Sabrina’s crimes later when he knew the people he loved were safe.

  Tammi had sparked up a conversation with the man on the other side of her. He appeared to be flirting with her, and from the sound of her giggle, she liked it. Holden was reminded of Vaughn and his pursuit of all things women. Then he remembered Vaughn’s obsession with Sabrina. Hadn’t he once said he’d kill to be with her?

  Looks like she got you instead, buddy.

  Holden gazed out the window, wishing he could flap his arms and fly. He’d tried calling Johanna when he’d gotten to his house, but she didn’t answer her house or cell phone. What was he going to say to her anyway? Run? Hid
e? Don’t let Sabrina Donovan into her house? He didn’t know how much of a lead Sabrina had on him. He should have shook Aaron down for more details.

  And why had it taken Sabrina all this time to come hunt him down? He’d been with Johanna for nearly a month. Both Johanna and Dr. Sakala had called DE with questions about him immediately after the accident. Wasn’t shutting him up permanently high on Sabrina’s to-do list? He wondered if she’d taken the extra time to more carefully map out his death.

  He sipped the water the flight attendant had given him, but it did nothing to calm him. He wouldn’t relax until he knew Johanna and Kam were okay. Then he’d worry about finding Sabrina and…dealing with her.

  When the plane landed, Holden said goodbye to Tammi and darted through the small mob of other passengers. With his carry-on bag secure on his shoulder, he found a pay phone and tried calling Johanna again with no luck.

  Where is she? Where are Ted and Kam? Not being able to reach any of them caused a coil of fear to unwrap in his gut. He hailed a taxi and gave Johanna’s address, tossing extra money at the driver if he’d be quick about getting to the destination.

  The landscape passed in a dusty blur. What had seemed so beautiful days ago was now in his way of getting to Johanna. To Kam. To Ted. To the people who meant more to him than anyone else on the planet. Having regained his full memory, he had been a little shocked to learn that aside from his parents and Vaughn, he hadn’t connected with a ton of people. He recalled a few acquaintances, but no one he would say he couldn’t live without.

  No one like Johanna or Kam.

  He had basically lived a life of flying, racing, and staying at home when he wasn’t doing those two. He and Vaughn had had some adventures, but it was almost as if he had been waiting to meet Johanna for his life to begin. He’d needed an attempt on his life and amnesia to find her, but he supposed that was Destiny at work.

  Now that he had Johanna, he’d do anything to keep her.