His First Crush

by Mj Fields

  When neither say a thing, I look up to find Brody’s eyes narrowed.

  “Is she or are you?”

  I hold his glare and answer honestly. “Both of us are.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  * * *

  Blown Away

  Logan

  I walk out of my place with Leddie strapped to me while Keeka showers.

  London is still asleep and it’s almost eight o’clock at night. It’s a wonder she hasn’t woken up since I check on her nearly every hour, and Emma does the same.

  I suppose it’s good that Keeka and she have spent the entire day together. Each time I asked if she needed a nap when I was checking on London, she would tell me no. When I told her Tessa and Emma would like to talk to her, she asked if I could take Leddie while she showered.

  She didn’t have to ask me twice. I missed the little angel.

  As messed up as today was, it was also peaceful knowing my three girls were all under the same roof and content.

  We got a lot done today. Dad, Brody, and I took over the main living space while Emma and Tessa worked on what will be Leddie’s room. Emma and Tessa now wanted Keeka’s input on her room color and to show her Leddie’s.

  When I walk in, baby secured to me, I find everyone standing around the island, eating take-out from Dinosaur Barbeque.

  Dad beams when he sees her. “How’s our Leddie Lou doing?”

  Both Tessa and Emma dash over before he’s able to stand up.

  “Baby hogs,” he mumbles and sits back down.

  They both stand beside me on opposite sides, swooning over her.

  She looks at Tessa. “Hi, sweet girl, hi.”

  Emma kisses the top of her head. “You look more and more like Troy every time I see you. More and more like your aunt London, too.”

  “She does.” Tessa smiles. “She absolutely does.”

  I look up at Brody as he watches Emma intently. Then he looks at me and his lips twitch up at the sides briefly, but it’s a smile.

  I look at Emma then at him and give him the same.

  “Clearly, he’s helping make any part of this that may hurt her okay.”

  “Gotta eat.” I smile. “She’ll need to change sceneries soon.”

  “I’ll hold her,” Dad offers.

  “We’re good.” I smirk as I walk past him and sit down at one of the stools.

  He points his fork at me. “You get her every day.”

  “Not today I haven’t,” I tell him.

  He laughs, and so does Tessa.

  I fill a plate with a baby strapped to me, like it’s nothing new.

  We talk about the fundraiser, and I find out it’s in just two weeks. As I listen, I feel overwhelmed by everything the community has done. Not to mention my old coach, my old team, and some of Dad’s old friends who have played for the NFL. I feel even more overwhelmed by what my father, Maddox, and yes, Brody have done to make this all happen.

  When the song over the surround sound that was Dad’s addition to the place changes, Tessa clears her throat. “Emma and I were thinking that maybe Sunday would be a good day to have you all for dinner.”

  “Lexington knows about your new sister and niece. She was so excited. When I told she you didn’t share the same parents, she grinned and said, just like me and London! She’s already claimed them. We can’t keep her quiet forever.” Emma laughs. “Brody told her that she could help plan a dinner soon, and Josie and the rest of the Ross family can be introduced to Keeka and Leddie.”

  A feeling of protectiveness washes over me as I look down at Leddie. “I’m not sure she’ll be ready by then.”

  “What do you think?”

  I look up at London’s voice and see her and Keeka at the doorway.

  Keeka shakes her head. “I don’t think so.”

  “Okay.” London smiles at her then looks at Emma and Brody. “Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.”

  They walk over and hug her.

  “How are you feeling?” Emma ask as she steps back, taking her face in her hands and inspecting her daughter.

  “Logan told us what happened.” Brody rubs her back.

  She looks at me and scowls.

  I shake my head, hoping she gets by now that my word is my fucking word. I told her I wouldn’t say anything if she stopped with the sleeping aid and pick-me-up crap.

  “I’m fine,” she huffs.

  “Grumpy, but fine.” Emma laughs and hugs her again while she glares at me.

  Before I have a chance to say a thing, Keeka is unhooking Leddie from me.

  “Keeka...” Dad sighs. “That boy of mine won’t share her. What do you say you let me hold her while you grab something to eat?”

  “You have issues, Logan senior.” She smiles quickly at him. “But I’ll think about it.”

  I look over as London walks out the door.

  “Where’s she going?” I ask Emma.

  “She thinks she left her phone in your room. She wants to make sure the girls know she’s okay.”

  “It’s in her bag in the hall closet.” I stand and wipe my mouth. “I’ll make sure she finds it.”

  I walk out the door and head to my place to save her from searching for her phone. When I walk in, I see her sitting inside the closet, texting frantically.

  “I see you found it.”

  She looks up, startled, and I feel bad for scaring her.

  “I’ll let them know where you are.”

  She shoves her phone in her bag and stands up. “Like you let my parents know I’m taking sleeping pills and drinking energy drinks?”

  She tries to push past me, but I grab her forearms.

  “I know you’re tired, pretty, but I gave you my word I wouldn’t say shit if you stopped doing it.”

  “Lie to someone else, Logan.” She pushes my hands off her arms and walks past me.

  “Never been one to lie,” I say as I turn around and see Emma standing at the door.

  Emma and London are staring at each other, and I’m pretty damn certain she overheard what was said.

  “He already told you,” London snaps, “so why are you looking at me like that?”

  “He didn’t say anything, other than you weren’t sleeping and you looked like hell when you got here. Now I’d like to hear it from you,” Emma says firmly.

  London glances at me, and then back at Emma. “I have to use the bathroom.”

  When they walk away, I hear her phone, bend down, and pull it from her bag.

  I expect to see one of her roommate’s names, but I don’t. I see Fletcher Reeves and a message.

  I’m sorry to hear that, London. And although he’s correct, it wasn’t his place to tell them. I hope to see you tonight. Same time, same place?

  When London snatches the phone from my hand, I can’t even look at her.

  “Apparently, my words are the only one that’s not good here. If that’s what you want, have at it.” I grab a hat from the closet and shove it on.

  “You’re overreacting like everyone else around here.” She sounds like she’s twelve again.

  I nod then walk out the door.

  §

  Driving up to my old place, I see Mitch’s car and a few others. When I turn off the vehicle, I look down at my phone and see London has messaged, Dad has messaged, and Keeka has messaged.

  I shoot Dad a text.

  Gonna hang out with the guys tonight. Just need a break. I’d like it if someone stays with Keeka.

  Then I shoot Keeka a message.

  Be back by morning.

  I don’t even look at London’s.

  When it lights up with her name again, however, I glance down.

  I hope you catch something.

  Already did. The knowledge that I was right to hold back with you. You’re nowhere near ready to handle what I have to offer you.

  Yeah, well, you can’t even have an adult discussion, so back at you.

  I’m seconds from replying, “Tell it to bitch boy,” but I don’t. Instead,
I turn off the ringer and get out.

  When I walk in, Mitch looks up. “Hey.”

  “Got a minute?” I ask him.

  He nods as he stands and starts walking to his room. I fist bump the guys all sitting on the couch with a bunch of chicks snuggled up to them.

  Cuddle season. Never partook until London. Right now, I wish I never did. Fucking knew better.

  When I walk in, he looks at me. “You look two steps from death’s door, man.”

  I pull my hat down. “Feeling it, too.”

  “Well, you know...” He shrugs.

  “I know I owe you an apology.”

  He chuckles. “You sure you can do that?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, sitting down.

  “Nothing, man. I’m just fucking with you.”

  “You hear anything new about Downs?”

  “Nothing.” He sighs as he sits on the opposite side of the bed.

  “No news is good news, I assume.”

  He looks down as his phone vibrates in his hand and hits a button.

  Shit, Jamie.

  “Am I interrupting plans?” I ask.

  “Nah.” He smiles at the phone, then looks up at me.

  “So, things are good?”

  His phone vibrates again, and he looks back down. He reads the message then glances up at me. “Things are good on my end. What’s up with you and London Fields?” He holds his phone up, and I see her number and the message.

  Hey, Mitch, this is London. If my boyfriend stops over, please tell him to call me.

  “So, yeah, things are good?” Mitch asks.

  “Ask her who the fuck her boyfriend is, because I was done a few minutes ago.”

  “What the hell happened?”

  “Fletcher Reeves,” I tell him. “No, fuck that, London Fields.”

  “Bro, which is it?” he asks.

  “Doesn’t matter.” I flop back on his bed and cover my face with my hat.

  “Hell it doesn’t.” He flops back, too. “You’re in love with that girl.”

  “Doesn’t matter either. Should have gone with my gut. Firsts aren’t called firsts because there won’t be a second.”

  “You want someone else tapping that?”

  “Fuck no!”

  “Then fucking fix it.” He fucking laughs at me.

  “Killing him won’t fix it. It’ll land me in jail faster than believing that, if there’s grass on the field, play fucking ball.”

  “What happened?”

  “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

  “Cool. But seriously—”

  “Seriously nothing. Came here to get away and to tell you I’m sorry I was a dick.”

  He chuckles. “You were.”

  “Yeah, well...” I yawn.

  “Tired?”

  “Fucking exhausted,” I admit.

  I hear the TV turn on and pull the hat away from my face.

  Justified is on.

  “Left off at season three, right?”

  I nod.

  §

  I hear yelling and open my eyes as Mitch jumps up.

  “Is that—”

  “What the fuck is she doing?” I grumble as I slide off the bed.

  We both walk out just in time to see London pulling away from Brody and running into my old room.

  “You’re such a liar!” she screams.

  “What the hell?” I hear a familiar female voice.

  Then I hear London say, “You are such a whore!”

  “London, that’s enough.” Brody pulls her out of the bedroom.

  “No, no, it’s not! He lied to me!”

  “Come on, princess.” Brody wraps his arms around her and begins dragging her toward the door. “Let’s not do this here.”

  “Not until he knows I hate him,” she spits.

  When Jeremy walks out in sweats, she looks at him, stunned.

  “Hey, Elle. I mean, London.” He wipes his eyes and blinks.

  She looks back at Brody then scans the room. When her eyes land on me and Mitch standing in his doorway, she shakes her head as her lower lip pops out.

  I glance up to see Brody looking at me.

  When Tammy walks out, she opens her mouth to speak, but then sees Brody and stops.

  “You should apologize to the young woman, London,” Brody tells her.

  “Apologize?” London huffs, but it’s sad, not sassy like I’m sure she intended. “Penny here—”

  “My name isn’t Penny,” Tammy interrupts.

  “Well clearly, you’re like one—worthless and been in everyone here’s pants!”

  “Okay, London,” Brody says, pulling her toward the door again.

  She looks at me expectantly, but I know damn well I don’t have shit to say to her. Therefore, I turn around and walk back into Mitch’s room and lay back down. I just want to sleep.

  I hear footsteps and then Brody yell, “London!”

  When the door slams shut and locks, I don’t look up. I know it’s her.

  “You’re acting like a fucking two-year-old,” I mumble.

  “Well, so are you!”

  When I feel something hit my back, and pretty damn hard, too, I roll over and sit up.

  “Go ahead, read my private conversation with Fletcher. Hell, read all of them on my phone.”

  I shake my head as I get up, grab the phone, and hand it back to her. “Not interested.”

  “In me? In reading? In what?”

  I move to open the damn door, knowing Brody is probably losing his shit about now, and she steps in front of me.

  “You should listen to your dad. Not here, London, not here.”

  “Then come home,” she pleads. “Come home and—” She covers her face as her shoulders start to shake with silent sobs.

  I know this isn’t about me. It’s about her, her choices, her actions, her not being ready. It still doesn’t stop me from hugging her. And as good as it feels to hold her when she needs it, it also doesn’t stop me from opening the door and locking eyes with Brody.

  “It wasn’t anything but reading lines,” she sobs quietly.

  “It was more than that,” I tell her, and she looks up. “You didn’t listen to me, you didn’t trust me, and you went to him, London.”

  “He’s my friend, and I thought you—”

  “If you don’t trust me, this won’t work. If I’m not the first person you want to talk to when you’re hurt or upset, if I’m not the first person you want to tell when something good happens, or if you’re too emotionally drained and you don’t run to me, but to him; then you don’t love me the way I do you. And I sure as hell am not going to continue on with this.”

  “It’s not like that. It’s...” She stops when I kiss the top of her head and leans against me, wrapping her arms tight around me.

  “I’m not doing this, London.” I attempt to step back, but she holds on tighter. “Go with Brody.”

  “I don’t want him. I want you,” she whispers.

  “Not right now, London, not right now.”

  When Brody takes her hand, she finally pulls away.

  “Dignity and grace, London Fields. We walk with dignity and grace.”

  She looks at me. “I will never forgive you, Logan, never.”

  I turn my back on her and look out the window. I hear Brody whisper, “shhh...”

  After a couple minutes, they leave.

  “You gonna just let her walk out of here after she looked like a fucking loon so that bitch can talk shit about her?”

  I look back at Mitch to see he’s pissed.

  “Don’t fucking play her like that, man.”

  “Wasn’t trying to, Mitch. Just need a fucking break.”

  I walk out the bedroom door as Brody’s opening the front door.

  “Hey,” I yell, catching their attention.

  She looks back at me sadly as I walk to her.

  I grab her face and turn it up so she’s looking at me. “I’m not happy with you.” />
  She nods, lip popping out again.

  “You need to figure this out.”

  “There isn’t anything to figure out. You love me.” She pokes me in the fucking chest.

  I nod, lean in, and whisper, “Not letting you leave after acting like an ass so they can shit talk you. Not playing fucking games either. You need him, have at it. You need more from me than I’m already giving you, you fucking tell me. But I don’t know if it’s even possible since every damn thing I’ve done revolves around you. I will not fucking be played a fool, no more than I will let them think you are one. Get some fucking sleep.”

  Even though I don’t want to, I kiss the top of her head then walk back to Mitch’s room.

  “Better?” I snap at him.

  “You’ll thank me for that,” he whispers.

  Then I hear London say, “You try to mount him when he’s passed out again, Penny, I will fucking break—”

  “London, enough,” Brody barks at her.

  I don’t even fucking care.

  Mitch leaves me alone for a while, and when he returns, he has two beers in his hands. He hands me one.

  “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I ask, taking it.

  “Had plans to take a girl out tonight, but she just blew me off.” He sits down.

  “Why?” I ask to be nice.

  He sighs. “Having a sleepover or some shit.”

  “With bitch boy?”

  Mitch chuckles.

  “What?”

  “He’s not normally a bitch, but I guess we all have our moments.”

  “Little less cryptic, Mitch. I have a fucking headache.”

  “Apparently, they’re all hanging at your place.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Yeah.” He shrugs.

  “Great, just fucking great,” I groan.

  I shoot Keeka a text, hoping she’s good with the fucking ‘V’ squad hanging out.

  Her reply:

  It was my idea. My sister’s guy is being a dick.

  I respond:

  Fletcher?

  Please do not make me think you’re that stupid or that little of a bitch.