A Family for Tory

by Margaret Daley

  “Is Mindy all right now that Mom will be okay?”

  “I think so. She said a prayer for her tonight. Also for you.”

  “For me?”

  “Because you were sad.” Slade’s gaze snared hers. “Tory, keeping things bottled up inside of you isn’t good. I want to help you, but I figure there’s a lot I don’t know about what happened four years ago.”

  Tory grew rigid. “What do you mean?”

  “The other day with Mrs. Johnston. The undertone of the conversation was tension-filled. Why?”

  “Because she didn’t think Brandon did anything wrong. She thought I had made up that story about the rape. After all, we were dating. Had been for over a month.” Tory balled the sheet into her hands.

  “Was she the only one?”

  Tory stared at her fingers twisting the cotton material into a wad. “No. Several others voiced their opinions, too.” The memories of the gossip that spread about her inundated her. Her throat closed, tears stinging her eyes. “Having a concussion and a few cracked ribs weren’t enough for some people. I guess they wanted me battered, near death. In their eyes Brandon was a nice young man from a good Christian family. So it must have been my fault somehow.” She lifted her tear-saturated gaze to his.

  “Tory, I’m so sorry some people are narrow-minded.” A nerve twitching in his jawline, he gathered her into his arms and pressed her against his T-shirt-clad chest.

  For a few seconds Tory allowed herself to seek comfort in his embrace, his hand stroking the length of her back. Then their intimate situation engulfed her in sensations she wasn’t ready to experience, not when she could replay all the hurtful things said about her. Panic surged to the foreground. She wedged her arms up between them and shoved away.

  “No!” She scrambled from the bed and snatched up her robe. “Please, I’ll sleep on the couch in the den. This won’t work.”

  Tory fled the bedroom. Her heartbeat hammered against her rib cage while her breathing became shallow gasps. She escaped into the den, the silence of the house a balm that sought to soothe her tattered nerves. Thank goodness Slade hadn’t followed her. She couldn’t have handled a confrontation with all that had happened lately.

  Using a throw pillow to cushion her head, she curled up on the couch and tried to sleep. But in her mind’s eye all she could see was Mrs. Clayton the other day watching her with a narrowed gaze and an expression of contempt. Tory had done nothing wrong, so why did she feel so dirty and humiliated? But memories of Brandon’s trial only confirmed those feelings. There had been times she felt she had been on trial instead of him.

  Tory twisted on the couch, trying to get comfortable. In the dark she saw the digital clock tick off minutes—way too slowly. Around four she finally surrendered to sleep, exhaustion overcoming her racing mind.

  * * *

  Tory bolted straight up on the couch when she heard a knock at the den door. “Come in.” Swinging her legs to the floor, she ran her fingers through her hair and straightened her pajamas and robe.

  Slade stood framed in the doorway, no expression on his face. “I wanted to tell you that Mindy and I are leaving for Cimarron City in a few minutes. I can’t keep acting like everything is all right between us when it isn’t.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Tory chewed on her lower lip. Slade was right. Everything in their life wasn’t okay. The threads of their marriage were fragile.

  “I’m leaving my car for you. I’ve rented one to drive back to Cimarron City. It was delivered a few minutes ago. Mindy needs to be back home in her normal routine. You need time alone. Maybe talk to your sister. Heaven knows, I’ve tried to get you to talk to me, to let me into your life. I know this isn’t the best timing, but I don’t think there ever would be a good time.” He turned to leave, then looked back over his shoulder at her. “Figure out what you want. I’ll be at the ranch with Mindy. I have some figuring out to do myself.”

  Tory opened her mouth to stop him, but the closing of the door reverberated through her mind. So final.

  She pushed to her feet, but her legs shook so much she sank back onto the couch. There was a part of her that wanted to stay in the den and hide. But the stronger part demanded she get up and at least say goodbye to Mindy. The child didn’t need to be hurt by what was going on between her father and Tory.

  Tory again rose, taking a moment to get her bearings. Then she strode from the room. She found Mindy and Slade in the entrance hall saying their goodbyes to Judy and Brad.

  Mindy came over to Tory and took her hand. “I’ll—take—real good—care—of Belle—for you.”

  Tory drew the child into her embrace. “I know you and your dad will. The ranch couldn’t be in better hands.” She kissed her on the forehead. “Remember I love you, Mindy.”

  “I—love—you.”

  Tory lifted her gaze to Slade’s and the tormented look in his eyes nearly unraveled what composure she had. “I’ll see you two soon.”

  Slade’s raised eyebrows spoke of his doubts. “We’ll call to let you know we’ve arrived safely.” He grabbed his suitcase and turned toward the front door.

  “Thanks,” Tory murmured as she watched the two leave her sister’s house.

  The ache in her heart grew the farther away Slade and Mindy were. Her chest hurt when she drew in a deep breath. Why did she feel as though she would never see them again?

  Panicked by that thought, she started forward. Slade pulled away from the curb. Her face pressed against the window, Mindy waved to Tory.

  She returned her daughter’s wave, tears flooding her eyes. You’re making a mistake letting him leave. He’s the best thing that’s happened to you.

  That was the problem. She did feel that way. But she didn’t know if she was the best thing for Slade.

  Her sister clamped her arm about Tory’s shoulder. “Okay, you and I need to talk. Something is definitely wrong and I don’t want to hear ‘Everything’s okay.’”

  Tory cocked her head around to look at Judy. “Maybe I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “I’m not accepting that. You need to talk about it. You keep too much inside, sis. Come on in and we’ll have a couple of cups of coffee. Whatever it takes.” With her arm still around Tory, Judy directed her toward the kitchen.

  “Don’t you think we should get to the hospital?”

  “Nope. Not until you and I have that talk.” Judy poured two mugs full of black coffee, then gave Tory hers. “Sit.”

  “All this bossing around reminds me of when we were kids.”

  Judy sat across from Tory. “And changing the subject will not work. What’s going on with you and Slade? Why were you sleeping in the den?”

  Tory took in the stubborn set to her sister’s face and knew she wouldn’t be allowed to leave until they had discussed at least some of what was happening in her marriage.

  “I see those wheels turning, Tory. You’re trying to figure out how much you can get away with not telling me. Let me help you get started. How much has coming back to Dallas affected you? I know you never wanted to return. And frankly, after the way some people treated you, I don’t blame you.” With her elbow on the table, Judy planted her chin on her fist and waited.

  Tory raised the mug to her lips and took a long sip. “A lot. As long as I didn’t see people like Mrs. Clayton and Mrs. Johnston, I could pretend I was fine, that I’d put everything behind me. But, Judy, I saw the contempt in their faces. I felt all over again the humiliation and condemnation I experienced back then. I felt dirty, as though I had been in the wrong, not Brandon. I know I shouldn’t feel that way, but we had been dating. What if I le—”

  Judy brought the flat of her hand down onto the wooden table. The sound echoed through the kitchen and caused Tory to flinch.

  “Don’t you dare start doubting yourself. You did nothing wrong.”

  Tory pointed to her head. “I know that in here.” Then she laid her hand over her heart. “But I can’t seem to grasp it in here.”
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  “I have someone I want you to talk to.” Judy went to the counter and grabbed a notepad and a pen. After scribbling on the paper, she tore it off and handed it to Tory. “We will continue this conversation after you see Susan Conway.”

  “Now?”

  Judy checked her watch. “Yes, she should be home. She’s a stay-at-home mom. I’ll call her to tell her you’re coming to see her.”

  “Why?”

  “I want her to tell you. It isn’t my place. Go talk to her.”

  “What about Mom?”

  “Mom would be the first person to tell you to take care of this before anything else. You can see her later. This is too important to your future.”

  Future? Tory wasn’t sure what kind of future she had. Slade had left with Mindy, disappointed and upset with her. And she couldn’t really blame him.

  Fifteen minutes later Tory rang Susan Conway’s doorbell. A young, attractive woman answered the door with a smile.

  “Come in. Judy called me. For some time I’ve wanted to meet you and thank you.” Susan directed Tory into her living room and gestured for her to have a seat on the couch.

  “Thank me? For what?”

  “For doing something I couldn’t. For being braver than I could be.”

  “Brave? Me?” Right now she didn’t feel that way.

  Susan sat across from Tory in a wingback chair. “Let me tell you a story. Maybe then you’ll understand. Six years ago I was a freshman in college and ready to take the world by storm. I’d never been away from home, but I was confident I could handle anything. That was true until I dated Brandon Clayton.”

  Tory’s breath caught in her throat, contracting it. She straightened, every muscle locked.

  Susan’s gaze fell away as she continued. “We’d been dating about three weeks. I thought I was so lucky because he was older and quite popular on campus. My roommate couldn’t believe a senior was interested in me. I guess he thought I would do anything he wanted. When I wouldn’t, he forced himself on me and left me battered and bruised physically as well as emotionally.”

  “But if he—”

  Susan’s tear-filled gaze reconnected with Tory’s. “I didn’t report the rape. I was too ashamed and just wanted to forget it ever happened.”

  Tory pushed her own feelings of shame aside and said, “But he hurt you!”

  “At the time I thought maybe I’d done something wrong, something to provoke the assault. I dropped out of college and went home to lick my wounds.” A tear rolled down her face. “But you didn’t. You made him pay for what he did to you. I followed your trial closely and cheered when the verdict came in.”

  Tory slid her eyes shut, wishing she’d known about Susan four years ago.

  “When I finally got up enough nerve to meet you and tell you about what happened to me, you were gone. It wasn’t until later that I met your sister at church. Recently when I heard about your wedding, I told her about what happened to me and that I was glad you were able to move on with your life. She’s the only other person who knew about my rape except my husband and now you.”

  “I wish I’d have known years ago. I thought I might have done something wrong.”

  “I know I’ve been a coward. I didn’t realize until recently that part of my healing was because of you. I knew I hadn’t done something wrong, that he had because he did it to another woman.”

  Tory started to speak, couldn’t and cleared her throat. “I wonder if there are others like us.”

  “I feel sure there are. Brandon Clayton is a sick man. He was handsome and charming on the surface, but that was as far as it went. You were the only brave one of us to come forward. And for that I thank you. May God bless you for many years to come.”

  * * *

  Despite the heat outside the car, Tory switched off the air conditioner and rolled down all the windows. She wanted to feel the wind, to smell the fresh air. She wanted to remember she was alive and well with a husband and daughter waiting at home. She had a family whether she had any biological children or not.

  Brandon Clayton hadn’t taken away what she wanted more than anything in the world. God had brought to her doorstep a man who loved her even knowing her past. Why had she been so afraid to give herself totally to him? Yes, Brandon had taken her virginity away, something she’d wanted to give to her husband. But that was only a small part of her.

  The wind felt warm against her skin, and Tory cherished the feeling as she headed her car toward Cimarron City and her ranch—their ranch. She’d spent another hour with Susan Conway, talking about their ordeals, emotionally washing themselves clean of Brandon’s mark. They had prayed afterward, then hugged good-bye. When she had left Susan’s house, she’d felt like a new woman, a free woman.

  Suddenly the months with Slade took on a new meaning. He’d never once tried anything she hadn’t wanted. He’d become her friend and confidant. He’d taken her house and turned it into a real home while she’d held on to her fear and shame. She’d let Brandon Clayton rule her life for the last time.

  When she pulled into the lane that led to her house, her heart quickened its beating. Her mouth went dry. What if he and Mindy weren’t there. What if he’d decided their marriage wasn’t worth it? What if—? She shook the doubts from her mind. She was through doubting herself. She would fight for what she wanted most—to be Slade’s wife and to have a family.

  She parked in front of the house, hopped out of the car and hurried toward the porch. The sun’s last rays were fading in the western sky. Dark shadows crept closer, but the lights on in the living room attested to someone being home. Her foot took the first step. The screen door flew open and Mindy came out.

  “Mom, you’re—home!” Mindy rushed at her, throwing herself into her arms. “I—missed—you.”

  Tory tousled the child’s hair. “It was only a day. I had to make sure Mom would be all right before coming home.” The word home rang in the warm summer air, loud and clear, a declaration of her feelings.

  When Tory looked toward the door, Slade stood framed in the entrance to the house, his face hidden in the shadows of evening. “The doctor said Mom’s operation was a complete success. She should be getting better each day. She sends her love.”

  “Mindy, it’s been a long day and you have school tomorrow. You need to get ready for bed.”

  Mindy spun about, her hands on her waist. “But— Dad-dy.”

  Slade held the screen door open and moved to the side. “Scoot, young lady. Now. Tory and I will be in to say good-night in a few minutes.”

  When the screen door banged closed behind Mindy, Slade said, “I’m glad your mother is getting better. Judy called earlier to tell me you were on your way home.”

  “I asked her to let you know.”

  “Why didn’t you call?”

  Even though she’d sat in a car for the past four hours, she needed to sit down to stop the trembling in her legs. She eased onto the swing, leaving enough room for Slade. He took the chair across from her, his expression still obscured by the growing darkness.

  Tory clasped her hands together. “What I have to say to you can’t be done over the phone.” She glanced out into the yard, barely making out the dark line of trees to the west. “No, that isn’t the complete truth. I was scared.”

  “Why?”

  There was no emotion in that one word and it sent a tremor down Tory’s length. “Because I thought you might not be here. Because I didn’t want to hear the anger in your voice. Because I’ve become a coward.”

  “Coward? You aren’t a coward.”

  The incredulous tone to his voice prompted a smile. “Oh, yes, I am. Four years ago I stood up for myself and it nearly destroyed me. I’ve been running ever since, hiding from the past, hiding from my feelings. Not anymore.”

  “What happened to change your mind?”

  She saw the stiff set to his body, as though he were frozen. “You and Mindy. It took the threat of losing you two to force me to do some thinking
. I had a long talk with a woman who helped me to see what I’d done. She thanked me for going to the police about Brandon Clayton. She hadn’t been able to, but she was glad he was serving time for what he’d done.”

  Some of the tension drained from Slade. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his face cast in the light streaming through the partially open drapes in the living room. “He’d raped another woman?”

  “Yes.”

  Slade’s hands curled into fists, then flexed. “Good thing he’s in prison.”

  “She made me look at the whole ordeal of the rape and trial in a new light. I was wronged and I fought back. I have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  Slade surged to his feet and sat next to her on the swing, gripping her hand. “Ashamed? There is so much about you I admire. You have no reason to feel that way.”

  “That’s easier said than done. I never shared everything with you. But that’s gonna change starting now.” She twisted so she faced him on the swing, their hands still linked. “I was saving myself for my husband. When I was a teenager, I’d made that decision. It had become very important to me as an expression of my love. Brandon took that away from me. He shattered a dream. He’d taken the decision out of my control.”

  Slade’s fingers about hers tightened. “I know what it’s like not to feel like you have any control over a situation.”

  “Then you understand?”

  He nodded. “When I had that wreck, my life changed instantly. I learned firsthand how little control we really have over our lives.”

  “That’s why faith in God is so important.”

  “I believe that now, but at the time I was angry and lashed out at myself, at God, at the Fates.”

  “My faith was the only thing that kept me going. I ran from my family. I wouldn’t let them support me. I hid out here and licked my wounds, pretending everything was normal. It wasn’t.” Tory grasped Slade’s other hand, too. “I wouldn’t let a man touch me. I didn’t like even getting near a man, and certainly being alone with one panicked me.”