Always Come Home (Emerson 1)

by Maureen Driscoll

  But there were no easy answers in life.

  He wished he could answer Ava flippantly, but her truthful observation deserved an honest response.

  “I am tired, dear Ava,” he said softly. “And not just from the journey. But, somehow, I believe you will give me the strength to see this through. I think you have enough for the both of us, and the generosity to share.”

  He could tell that was not the answer she’d been expecting, for her eyes widened and her lips parted. He wanted to kiss her gently, as much to thank her for her presence than as an expression of his affection.

  But he knew that if he kissed her, his senses would inflame and that one kiss would lead to much more. Too much.

  So instead, he grinned rakishly, bowing slightly. “If you need anything in the night, Miss Conway, do not hesitate to call out for me. I should love to hear that above all else.”

  She smiled at him, at ease once again. “I assure you my lord, I shan’t be calling out your name this or any other night. Now, if you will excuse me, we have an early morning planned in the woods and I for one would like to be well rested.”

  With a pert curtsey, she shut the door on him.

  And he forced himself back to his room, somehow feeling better than he had all day.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Though it had not been easy to get out of her nice warm bed, Ava could not stop grinning as she set out for the woods with Colin and his sisters. Earlier in the week, Rose had gone through the trunks in the attic, finding warm winter clothes since the temperature inside the dower house was not that much warmer than outside. That morning, Rose had supplemented Ava, Maude and Stemple’s winter clothing. She’d even given Colin boots that were good for something other than a grand appearance.

  Though he looked quite nice in these warm ones, as well.

  Sufficiently bundled up, Ava had marveled at the beauty of the grounds. The dower house and the manor were but a mile from each other. The woods formed a ring around both, and Ava admired the tall, dense trees as they trekked into the forest.

  She watched as Colin pushed an empty wheelbarrow. “Why did we have to get up quite this early?” he asked. “It is not as if we had to catch the trees while they were still sleeping.”

  Letty laughed. The little girl adored her brother and Ava realized that he was both brother and father to her. She only hoped his future countess would want to be mother and sister to the girl.

  Ava did not think Colin truly minded the early hour. “I believe, my lord, it is so we can get our work done here now, enabling Stemple to hunt this afternoon.”

  “I think I would have preferred taking my chances getting shot.”

  “Oh, no, Colin!” said Letty.

  “Don’t worry, sweeting,” said her brother. “I was only hoping for a superficial wound that would have allowed me to go back to my nice warm bed.”

  Once they had walked into the woods for a quarter mile, Rose spoke. “We have much work to do, so I suggest we split apart. Colin, I trust you can cut down boughs without slicing off any fingers?”

  “I believe my chance of success would have been greater had you let me sleep another hour, but, yes, I can probably remain intact.”

  “Excellent. Miss Conway, can you please gather up the boughs he cuts and place them in the wheelbarrow? And pray, do not let him stop after only one or two dozen.”

  “One or two dozen!” said Colin.

  “I can do whatever task you’d like, Lady Rosemary,” said Ava. “But would you or Lady Leticia not like to accompany him instead?”

  “The boughs may be a bit too heavy for Letty and me,” said Rose.

  Now that was a clanker if Ava had ever heard one. Rose was a young woman in vigorous health. Ava could not imagine that picking up boughs would be arduous for Rose or Letty. But as Rose quickly ushered Letty away, Ava found herself alone with Colin.

  “Trying to get away from me, Ava?” he asked.

  “I just wanted to give you an opportunity to spend time with your sisters,” she said. She was secretly glad to have the time alone with him, but she certainly wasn’t going to tell him that.

  “Truth be told, I am glad you and I are alone,” said Colin, as he pushed the wheelbarrow deeper into the forest, examining boughs as he went along. “It occurs to me that sooner or later I will come upon you talking to my ancestors’ portraits and I was curious as to what you might say.”

  “I shan’t talk to your ancestors’ portraits.”

  “To borrow your own words, you should not make a promise I am almost certain you cannot keep.”

  “Perhaps the first thing I would tell them is you have a lamentably good memory.”

  “Rest assured, Ava, that I will always remember everything about you.”

  His words warmed her soul. Then she realized how very much alone they were. Perhaps she should lighten the mood. “If I were to speak to your ancestors’ portraits, it would only be after fastening a bell to you so you could not catch me unawares again.”

  “A true rake would ask on what you would hang it.”

  “Your swelled head, my lord.”

  He laughed. “I may have deserved that. Very well, assume I am belled. What would you tell them?”

  “I would tell them how very much I like Lady Rosemary and Lady Leticia.”

  “They’re wonderful, are they not?” Colin finally found a suitable tree and began sawing through a limb.

  “I can see why you wanted to come home so badly.”

  “I shall always come home, as long as someone I love is waiting.”

  “That is a very good attribute, my lord.”

  “It’s Colin. Now, what would you tell my ancestors about me?”

  “That it was very kind of you to bring Maude and me along with you. And that you were quite resourceful in getting Carl to give us a ride in his cart.”

  “Will you also tell my ancestors about using me as a mattress?”

  “Certainly not! I would not want them to think less of me.”

  “From what I know of my illustrious ancestors, I can only assume the gentlemen would like you even more for doing so. As for me, when I think of that portion of the journey, I shall do so fondly.”

  The look he gave her was so heated, Ava felt it could melt snow. She nodded toward the branch. “Do pay more attention to what you are doing, sir. You would not want to lose a finger after promising Lady Rosemary you would not.”

  “If it gets me out of cutting dozens of boughs I might seriously consider it.”

  “My lord, hush! You would not want your sisters to hear you complain.”

  “Did you just hush me, Ava?”

  “Most deservedly so.”

  “I did not say it wasn’t deserved. I was just surprised you’d done so. You are a minx. I should garnish your non-existent wages and make you pay me.” The bough he was sawing finally fell to the ground. “Do you think we have enough?”

  “My lord, we have only just begun.”

  *

  Colin was enjoying himself immensely, though he’d had the devil of a time getting out of bed that morning. The house had been like an ice box. And he usually only saw the dawn while coming home from a night’s entertainment.

  But here he was in the clean, frigid air, delighting in the company of his sisters and matching wits with Ava Conway. She was wearing a grey gown today, not that any of it was currently visible. But he’d glimpsed it at the house before she’d wrapped herself in layers of clothes. Her eyes were the only part of her he could see and they had a special light in them. Or maybe they were just tearing up from the damned wind.

  However, they were crinkled up at the corners, so she seemed to be enjoying herself as much as he was.

  They moved to the next tree and he began sawing again. “Did you always wish to be a governess, Ava?”

  “Not at all,” she said. “I loved assisting my father in his work. I’d hoped to go on for many years doing so, perhaps even finding a place for myself in the worl
d of archaeology. But he developed a wasting disease and died years before his time. I was devastated.”

  “I am so sorry.”

  She nodded and he sensed that this time her eyes watered not from the cold.

  She finally spoke again. “He would have liked you. He was a man who also valued family and honor.”

  Colin could think of no better compliment. “Did you try to attain a position on a dig after his passing?”

  “Some of his colleagues had expressed interest in my joining them, but I do not believe it was for honorable reasons.”

  Colin narrowed his eyes. Those bastards would have tried to take advantage of her. Just thinking of it made him angry. If he knew who they were…

  “Colin, your thumb!”

  Colin looked down to see he had, indeed, been close to cutting his thumb. All because he’d been thinking of Ava. “Do you think we have enough greenery now?”

  “I believe, my lord, that fewer boughs would be better than a nine-fingered earl.”

  Ava had been piling the branches into the wheelbarrow. He took the armful she was carrying, accidentally brushing his fingers against her breasts as he did so. “Pray forgive me,” he said, before quickly turning away to deposit the branches and to hide the erection that had been instantaneous from the contact. She was wearing a good six layers of clothes and yet he’d become that hard that fast.

  Her eyes seemed even brighter. “Tell me about the stories you used to tell your sister.”

  “They were nothing, really. I’d even forgotten about it until Rose reminded me. I believe I first started making up the stories as a way of drowning out the sound of our parents fighting. But then, fortunately, they began spending more and more time apart, so there wasn’t as much need for the distraction.”

  “Yet you continued to tell her stories.”

  “It was a way of spending time with her. When I was home from school, she was usually in the nursery. It was only at night when I had the chance to be with her. So, I would tell her stories, then we would sit and talk. There is almost a twelve year age difference between us, so we were not as close as James and I were. But I enjoyed being with her.”

  “What of your other brother?”

  “My other brother. That is a more complicated story. He is Nicholas Chilcott, the Earl of Layton. We do not formally acknowledge the relationship for obvious reasons. We are the same age and he was the result of a liaison between my father and Nick’s mother. She’d already borne the heir and the spare, so it was considered a minor infraction of society’s rules when Nick was born and had the Emerson looks. However, when the heir and the spare both died of illnesses, the old earl was outraged that my father’s get would one day inherit. Old Layton made Nick’s life as bad as my father made mine. It was one of the reasons we became friends at school.”

  “Are you close?”

  “There is still a bit of awkwardness. Neither of us wishes to embarrass his family, so we keep a bit of distance. But he makes a point to see the girls whenever possible.”

  “I am not sure there is a polite way to ask this next question.”

  “Since we just spoke of my half-brother who was conceived in an adulterous liaison, I cannot imagine what could be a more sensitive topic. Unless, of course, it concerns my finances.”

  “I must be an open book, my lord.”

  “Not particularly. Though you do have an attractive cover.”

  Ava’s face warmed from the compliment. “Can the Earl of Layton help you with your financial difficulties?”

  “Nick has offered to lend me money, but his coffers aren’t as flush as they could be, either. And he has problems of his own. His current heir is his cousin, who believes he should be the earl, not Nick.”

  “What of your brother James?”

  “I haven’t heard from him for almost three months, which is worrisome. He went to America to find his fortune. I just want him to come home. We can all be poor together.”

  “I have never had much money, but have been happy enough. Now I have yet another question.”

  “You are an inquisitive sort, are you not?”

  “Embarrassingly so. Have you always made up stories?”

  “I was required to do a certain amount of writing at school,” he said, as he hefted the wheelbarrow and they headed off to find his sisters. “I was never very good at it.”

  “I find that hard to believe.”

  “Are you accusing me of lying, Ava?”

  “No. I am simply in disbelief that you would not be good at something.”

  “Yes, I am a veritable genius at everything I put my hand to. Hence the life of luxury in which you find yourself.”

  “You did not let me finish, my lord.”

  “I do wish you’d stop ‘my lording’ me.”

  “You are my employer.”

  “Actually, I am the one who owes you money. I should be ‘Miss Conwaying’ you and you should call me Colin.”

  “That will not happen. At least not in front of anyone else.”

  “Ahh, I am finally getting you to soften your steely resolve. Excellent. Now, you were just telling me how difficult it was to believe that I could have human failings.”

  “Not exactly, Colin. I was simply expressing my disbelief that you would not be good at writing stories at school when you did so well inventing them for your sister.”

  “My sister was a young girl and a generous listener.”

  “Perhaps. But I believe there is a difference between tasks you want to do – like making up a story for your sister – and those you are assigned to do, like completing a composition at school. With the right motivation I believe you could accomplish a great deal.”

  Colin turned to her. “Perhaps you are the right motivation, Ava. Perhaps I could write stories for you.” He wanted to kiss her. Right there in the freezing woods. In another moment he would kiss her.

  “Colin!” Letty’s infectious laugh reached them as the girl ran up. “You would never believe how many pine cones I collected. But then I dropped one and poor Rose sat right upon it when she fell over in the snow.”

  “Letty!” said Rose as she joined them. “I cannot believe you would tell such a tale. What will Miss Conway think of us?”

  “I shall think that I am fortunate, indeed, to have come to such a fine family. Now, Lady Leticia, where are all the pine cones?”

  “Over here,” said Letty, tugging at her arm. “I could not carry them all.”

  “Then I shall help you,” said Ava, setting out with the girl at a run.

  Colin watched Ava run off with Letty hand-in-hand. It was a good thing his youngest sister had interrupted them because he’d been about to kiss Ava. There’d been something too comfortable about gathering Christmas greenery with her. Something that made it seem too much like they were a family. It was unsettling.

  It was also ludicrous that he could have romantic thoughts when he was freezing his bollocks off.

  Then he realized Rose was staring at him.

  “Is there something you would like to say?” he asked, hoping she could not read minds.

  “I like Miss Conway.”

  Damn it. Perhaps she could read minds. “She is an amiable lady. I confess I do not know her qualifications for being a governess other than she had the position for Clayton’s sisters. I regret not beating the man before we left.”

  “He was unkind to her?”

  “Yes. But he was always one who deserved a good beating from time to time just on principle.”

  “You rescued Miss Conway from him.”

  “I did no such thing. And I cannot imagine she would like that assessment, either. She is quite capable, I can assure you.”

  “Yet, you knew she needed assistance and brought her home. I suspect you helped Maude and Stemple in a similar manner.”

  “Is there something you wish to say, dear sister?”

  “Nothing more than the obvious.”

  “Which is?”

 
“That you make it your business to solve the problems of others, often at the expense of your own happiness.”

  “On the contrary, bringing Miss Conway, Maude and Stemple home will contribute to my happiness since I will now have excellent servants to replace those who are no longer here.”

  “But you had no way of knowing that when you first offered them a home here. You are a sentimentalist and I love you all the more for it.”

  “I’m a sentimentalist? You sat on a pine cone and I cannot imagine it was anything other than to make Letty laugh.”

  “She has too few excuses to laugh. And please do not tell her. She’s having a great deal of fun at my expense and I wouldn’t want to deprive her of that. But I worry about you, Colin. I do not wish for you to do anything that cannot be undone. I want you to be happy.”

  “And I will be. As long as I know you and everyone else are taken care of. Now, shall we return to the house?”

  “Is this your way of getting me to stop talking about your future?”

  “It is primarily a way of getting my frozen body to a warm bath. But, if it should also put an end to your worrying about me then I will accept that as a boon, as well.”

  “Colin!”

  Letty ran up to them, grinning. “You must see what Miss Conway is about! She’s making snow angels.”

  So that was how Colin came upon Miss Conway: lying in the snow, moving her arms and legs back and forth, as happy as, well, a madwoman lying in the snow. Did no one feel the effects of the cold except him? But he could not deny that she was especially beautiful when she was laughing. And he wanted nothing more than to fall upon her and kiss her senseless.

  “Miss Conway!” said Rose. “I cannot allow you to make a choir of angels all by yourself. I must join you.” Rose then fell back into the snow and proceeded to make her own angel.

  Letty giggled again. “May I join them, Colin? May I?”

  “It’s awfully cold, sweeting. I would hate for you to take ill.”

  “Please? Please!”

  Colin could not deny his youngest sister such a dubious treat and it did appear that the ladies were enjoying themselves immensely. “Very well. But only one or two.”