Always Come Home (Emerson 1)

by Maureen Driscoll

  “Papa, you cannot mean to keep Lord Ridgeway to yourself. He has come to take me for a walk on his beautiful estate.”

  “I suppose you can go,” said her father. “But Ridgeway, I don’t intend to wait forever.”

  “Of course, sir,” said Colin, as he escorted Nora from the room, grateful for the escape.

  She looked remarkably beautiful with a pink woolen cloak and a matching fur hat, muff and collar.

  “You’re certain you will not mind the cold?” he asked her.

  “Not when I am on your arm, I am sure,” she said smiling.

  And, indeed, Miss Babcock’s perfect looks were only enhanced by the brisk weather that brought a pretty pink glow to her skin.

  “Your estate is magical in winter,” she said. “I can only imagine how beautiful it is in spring.”

  “It is lovely.” He should add a compliment like “but not as lovely as you.” But he didn’t.

  “I have not yet been to London, because Papa felt we should celebrate Christmas at a true English estate. But I confess I look forward to visiting the capital. I understand you spend a good portion of the year there.”

  “Until recently I spent a great deal of time there, though now I believe I will only be going back when Lords is in session.”

  “So you would wish to spend more time here?”

  Colin couldn’t tell for certain, but Miss Babcock sounded a bit disappointed.

  “My sisters are here and while Rose will have her come-out, I wouldn’t want Letty to spend all her time in town.”

  “Your sisters are both such dear girls. I so look forward to getting to know them better, especially dear Letty.”

  “Speaking of my sisters, there they are now, along with Miss Conway.”

  “Yes, the interesting Miss Conway. But what are they doing?”

  “Making snow angels.”

  Colin hadn’t consciously walked in the direction of the dower house, the direction of Ava. But he was there now. And Miss Conway’s lesson seemed to be about the making of snow angels.

  “Hello, Miss Babcock!” said Letty from the ground. “You and Colin must join us!”

  “Join you how, Lady Leticia?”

  “Make angels with us!”

  “Yes, Miss Babcock,” called Rose from beside Letty, “do join us. We’re having ever so much fun.”

  Colin had to cough to cover his laugh. While he knew Letty’s invitation had been innocent, he had a feeling Rose knew damned well the last thing Miss Babcock would do was lie down in the snow.

  But she did smile prettily at the two sisters. “Thank you so much for the invitation, but I am afraid my cloak would be ruined.”

  “You could go change,” said Letty. “We’ll wait.”

  Colin looked at the beautiful Miss Babcock, dressed in the first stare of fashion. Even if she were to ruin her cloak and hat, he had no doubt she had a wardrobe filled with replacements. Then he looked at Miss Conway lying in the snow, flailing her limbs, wearing her old cloak and the mismatched scarves and mittens that Rose had found in the attic that had probably last been worn some twenty years earlier. One of these ladies would make him an excellent wife and be an incredible mother to his children.

  It was not the woman on his arm.

  “I think,” said Colin, “that perhaps angel making is not something Miss Babcock wishes to do today.

  “Thank you for understanding,” said Nora, as she tugged on his arm.

  “However,” continued Colin, “I believe I must partake of this exercise. They are in desperate need of a male angel.”

  “We are!” said Letty.

  So Colin fell back into the snow next to Ava and began to make his angel. He looked to his right to see that Ava was enjoying herself just as much as Letty and Rose. He knew what he should do. But even more so, he knew what he wanted to do. And he didn’t want to fight his heart any longer. He found himself laughing, even as he knew he would never receive a £75,000 dowry nor £30,000 per annum.

  *

  “What do you mean, my lord?” asked Nora.

  After returning to the house Colin had requested a moment alone with Nora, which Mrs. Babcock had been only too happy to grant. He believed she would have escorted them to a bedchamber if asked, but instead, had deposited them in the sitting room, then closed the door. Colin had just told Nora that he regretfully would be ending his courtship of her.

  “While it has been a delight spending time with you and your family, I believe we would not suit. I am afraid that my years in London have made me quite unfit for polite company such as your family’s.”

  Nora frowned. “I do not understand.”

  “I have been alone for too long and have a great deal of work ahead of me as head of the family. I am afraid I could not give you the attention you deserve.” But he looked forward to showering Ava with it, even as he would have to redouble his efforts to earn money.

  “Am I to understand that you are rejecting me?”

  “Not at all. I am recognizing my particular weaknesses that would not make this a good match. The fault is wholly mine.”

  “Well, of course it is. But you cannot be serious. You cannot reject me.”

  “I am not rejecting you, Miss Babcock. It is only my own…”

  “Stubble it! Is it that Miss Conway baggage?”

  Colin stiffened. “Miss Conway is my friend. I will not allow you to speak disparagingly of her.”

  “I’ll bet she’s more than your friend. Did you get her with child and this is some misguided effort to ‘do the right thing?’ The right thing would be to send her on her way. You’re poor. Embarrassingly so. How would you even provide for her? For anyone? You don’t even have a proper carriage! You were lucky that I even considered you for a husband. I had many options. Papa gave me a list, then we came to this dreadful county hoping to make your acquaintance. I can see now I was wasting my time. But I won’t make that mistake again. I’m sure Lord Clayton will be an excellent husband.”

  Colin was struck with a profound sense of relief that he hadn’t married this harridan. But no one should have to be bound to Clayton. “Miss Babcock, while you may be upset by this turn of events, I advise you to avoid Clayton. He would not make you a good husband.”

  “Yes, it would be terrible to be married to someone with all that blunt, wouldn’t it? I can only imagine the horrors I would encounter being showered in jewels and fine clothes, while everyone bowed and scraped. God save me from wealth. You are a horrid man and I hope you and that scandalous family are confined to that cottage until you’re dragged away to the poor house.”

  “Upon further reflection, perhaps you and Clayton would do well together. I shall take my leave of you now. Pray give my regards to your family.” He gave a creditable bow, for he was someone who always had good manners. He was also in a terribly good mood, since he could now marry Ava. They’d still be, in the words of Miss Babcock, embarrassingly poor, but he would find a way around that.

  As he opened the doors, he almost ran into Myra, who must have been listening at the keyhole.

  “Miss Myra,” he bowed to her. “I believe I may be persona non grata here after today. But I wanted to wish you well during your stay in England. I have a feeling your family may be moving to London before long.”

  “You rejected Nora,” said Myra, who was stating it as a fact, rather than asking a question.

  “I believe I am not the man for your sister.”

  “That was obvious to me from the very beginning.”

  Colin flinched as he heard the sound of a vase crashing against the wall from inside the sitting room. Apparently, Mrs. Babcock heard it, too, for she scurried across the foyer to check on her eldest daughter.

  Myra continued. “I have to admire you for being such a gentleman in the face of my sister’s deplorable tirade.”

  “I would not cast aspersions upon her, but thank you.”

  “Do you plan to marry that governess of yours?”

  Colin wa
sn’t sure how to reply. It was certainly none of this chit’s business, but she was being quite reasonable and had the terrible misfortune to have Nora as a sister. “My future plans are yet unclear.”

  “They shouldn’t be,” said Myra, as they heard more crashes from inside the sitting room. “Perhaps we should take a walk.”

  Colin wasn’t sure how to tell Myra he wasn’t interested in her. “I really should be going.”

  “Do not worry. I have no designs on you. Quite frankly you’re too poor for even me to consider. But I do know something that might interest you. And it will simply infuriate my sister.”

  “Very well,” said Colin as he took her arm and walked toward the front door.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Other than when her father died, Ava could not remember being this miserable. She’d had a delightful day with Rose and Letty, though she felt guilty since their excursion had been rather light on lessons. But once they’d seen the pristine snow it had been all but impossible not to play in it. She’d tried to talk about how snow was formed, but one snowball hit from Rose had been all it had taken to wipe away any thoughts of teaching. And it was true that Letty deserved all the fun she could have.

  Even seeing Colin with the beautiful Nora Babcock hadn’t spoiled her mood, though it hadn’t exactly added to her joy, either. They looked perfect together. Absolutely perfect. She’d had to stop Rose from hitting Miss Babcock on the arse with a snowball as she and Colin left, even if Ava had secretly wanted it to happen.

  But then Ava had returned to the house and seen the post. There was a letter from B. Jones, Clayton’s publisher. She did not doubt what it said. And that meant she had to leave this house tomorrow.

  Forever.

  The very thought was enough to make her ill. If she didn’t arrive in London, Colin would not receive the advance. She would go there and meet Clayton. But she would not become his mistress. She would only stay long enough to meet the terms of the agreement, then depart as soon as possible for America. Well, she would depart for Portsmouth where she would hopefully find a way to earn enough for her passage to the United States.

  She was curled up in the window seat of her pretty room, looking out at the fields covered in snow. She would never see them in spring. She would never see them any other way than they were right now.

  She had to do something to get out of these doldrums. She had to face her new circumstances and make the most of them. She had to persevere, no matter how much she wished to return to bed and sleep for a decade or so.

  There was a knock at her door, then Colin entered.

  “Colin,” she said as she jumped up. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Letty?”

  “Nothing is wrong with Letty. But I have two bits of news and I believe you’ll like both of them. At least I very much hope you will.”

  She knew what one of them was. “You should not be in here. It is most inappropriate.”

  “Are you not curious about what I’m going to say?”

  “Of course I am. Pray deliver your news.”

  “The first announcement is that I have broken things off with Nora Babcock. Not that there was anything to break off. But I told her I am no longer going to court her.”

  “What?” That was surprising, especially since he couldn’t have done that before seeing the letter from B. Jones. He’d broken things off with Miss Babcock knowing that he dearly needed the money. What did that mean?

  He continued. “I am a selfish creature. I know I have a responsibility to my family. But I could not marry a woman I do not love, especially when I have already given my heart to you.”

  Ava wanted to cry from the beauty of it. And the tragedy of knowing she would soon be forced to leave. “But the money...”

  “Is nothing compared to you. I have been leaning this way for quite some time. ‘Struth I was never enamored of the idea of marrying anyone for money. And in my subsequent conversation with Miss Babcock I learned without any doubt that marrying her would have been an utter nightmare.”

  “But how will you live? The debts? Rose’s Season.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Once I saw you making snow angels with my sisters, it became imperative that I follow my heart. And I followed it to you.”

  He took her in his arms and kissed her. Ava reveled in the warmth and was disappointed when he drew back.

  “Now, for my second piece of news. It turns out I shan’t be poor after all. I have a publishing contract from a company called B. Jones. It is glorious news, is it not?”

  “Glorious,” she said quietly.

  “It’s a £1000 advance, with another £25,000 once I finish my book.” Colin was grinning from ear to ear.

  Ava could only gape. Clayton had truly laid it on thick. And how disappointed Colin would be when he learned he’d never get the £25,000. When she saw Clayton in London she would be sure to plant him a facer.

  “Aren’t you excited, sweetheart? This means we can be married. If you’ll have me, of course. Will you marry me, Ava? Will you?”

  She wanted that more than anything. But how could she compound the pain she would cause him by agreeing to marry him when she knew she would leave tomorrow? “Colin, this is wonderful news. Why not leave a discussion of marriage to another day?”

  “If it helps you to decide, you should know that since I’ll be getting £25,000, we’ll be able to have a decadent ton wedding.”

  “What?”

  “Not only that, but I just told Rose she can have her Season and I promised Letty that we’ll take her to Italy. Both of them are so excited. We have our lives back, sweetheart.”

  This was terrible. The girls would be so disappointed when the contract fell through. And Colin would be humiliated. “But Colin, you can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s, well, you must practice economy.”

  “Not with £25,000. We’ll have more than enough blunt.”

  “But, but….”

  “But what, sweetheart?”

  There was something in Colin’s tone. Something hard that she’d never heard before. She looked up to find his penetrating gaze upon her. And he wasn’t happy.

  “You know,” she said. What had given it away?

  He was more angry than she’d ever seen him.

  “Tell me you weren’t going to be Clayton’s mistress.”

  “Of course not! I was going to go to London so you’d at least get to keep the advance, then I would find a way to leave for America.”

  Thankfully he seemed to believe her, but it didn’t improve his mood. “You were going to leave without telling me.”

  “I couldn’t tell you. I knew you would call him out or do something to bring even more scandal down on the situation, which would hurt your sisters. How did you find out?”

  “Myra Babcock overheard Clayton’s despicable proposition. Why didn’t you come to me with this?”

  Now he seemed hurt and Ava couldn’t stand it. “Because it would have placed you in a terrible situation – choosing between your sisters and me. Clayton is telling people I was his mistress. If you marry me, it will ruin your sisters’ future. I am never going to be his mistress, but I have to leave.”

  “No, you do not.”

  “But your sisters….”

  “Will understand. Come with me.”

  “Where?”

  “To talk to them.”

  “I can’t. It is too embarrassing. What are you…”

  Colin picked her up her as if she weighed nothing and carried her out of the room, down the hall, down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Rose, Letty, Maude and Stemple were taking tea.

  “Are you giving rides?” asked Letty.

  “Perhaps later, poppet. Ava hurt her foot and had to be carried downstairs. Can you do me a favor? I believe Jasper is in the attic. Can you please find him and bring him down here?”

  “What’s he doing in the attic?”

  “Probably shredding the curtain
s. But I would very much appreciate it if you did it.”

  That was all it took for the eager-to-please Letty to leave the room.

  “Now,” said Colin, “we have perhaps ten minutes before Letty realizes Jasper is actually in the sitting room, scratching one of my least favorite chairs. There is something all of you should know since it concerns each of you.”

  Colin told them about the end of his courtship with Miss Babcock which pleased them all. Then he recounted Clayton’s proposition.

  “I cannot believe that bastard would try to hurt you and Ava by using Letty and me,” said Rose. “And before you scold me for my language, Colin, that is the most polite name I can think to call him.”

  “I would like to catch Clayton in a dark alley,” said Stemple. “Give me the word, my lord, and I will make it happen.”

  “Thank God for Miss Myra,” said Maude. “I cannot think what would have happened to Ava if she’d left.”

  “I still must leave,” said Ava, with tears in her eyes. “I cannot bear to hurt Rose and Letty.”

  “You will only hurt us if you leave,” said Rose, as she hugged her. “I want my brother to be happy more than anything in the world. I want you to be happy. It’s obvious to everyone that the two of you are in love. You belong together.”

  “But the scandal. Clayton will tell everyone I’m his mistress.”

  “Anyone who listens to him is a fool,” said Colin. “And, quite frankly, it won’t be the first scandal this family has endured. As for the money, well, that is something that affects everyone.”

  “I am confident we can find a solution,” said Rose.

  “I am content working without wages,” said Stemple.

  “As am I,” said Maude. “It’ll be worth it to see the two of you as happy as Victor and me.”

  “What about you, Ava?” asked Colin. “Can you marry a poor man?”

  “It is not that. I do not wish to create a scandal…”

  “Yes or no, Ava? Will you take me as your husband, knowing the hardships ahead? For I love you and cannot bear to think of life without you.”

  This time Ava didn’t try to prevent the tears from falling. And for once in her life, she chose the selfish course of action. “Yes, Colin. I love you, too.”