BlackJack (A Standish Bay Romance Book 1)

by Donovan, Christine

  Since her divorce she’d barely dated anyone long enough to feel anything but a slight attraction, which had suited her. So why now, after all these long years, did her whole being sit up and take notice of this man?

  Cameron headed to the food table and somehow she managed to walk over to the sofa and casually sit down next to him, although she actually collapsed because her knees finally gave way. She hoped he didn’t notice the shaking of her hands. And she swore if he listened carefully enough he’d hear her heart beating a loud staccato inside her chest. To help her calm down, as if she could calm down sitting next to Cole’s strong, lean, hot body, smelling of sandalwood, she focused on the other people in the room. It didn’t work. It might have if his muscular jean clad thigh wasn’t burning an out of control inferno against her thigh.

  “I want to thank you for letting Cameron play with us tonight.” Cole raked his long fingers through his still damp hair. Shannon’s eyes followed every sensual stroke, imagining him doing that to her. “Whether you know it or not, he has the gift

  Shannon hesitated looking Cole in the eye. She knew it was rude to speak to someone while avoiding their gaze, but she didn’t want him to see how nervous he made her. Jeez, she couldn’t win

  “Shannon.”

  She’d always been and still was a huge Cole Jackson and BlackJack fan. She had every CD, including their latest, and Cole had bled his heart out in the songs he had written for that one. One particular heartbreaking song managed to make her tear up every time she heard it. During that song he opened the door and let the world into his heart and soul. It made her feel nineteen and in love with him all over again.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, my mind, well, it has a mind of its own sometimes. About tonight, thank you. It meant an awful lot to Cameron.” She blinked back tears suddenly wanting to make an appearance. “And to me.”

  He gave Shannon a lopsided grin. “Yeah well, me too. He’s a great kid. You did all right by him.”

  Surprised by his compliment and thrown off by his sexy smile, she finally replied, “I can’t take all the credit. My ex-husband and I share custody.”

  “Has it been hard for you?”

  Confused and unsure about what he referred to she hesitated. Obviously he picked up on her confusion because he clarified himself.

  “The divorce, was it hard for you?”

  What did she share and not share with the man sitting next to her? She wondered if she needed to pinch herself or not because how could Cole Jackson be interested in her life? One Shannon had never been comfortable talking about. But, for some strange reason, she wanted to tell Cole about herself and she wanted to know all about him. The only way she figured she would learn about him was to talk about herself.

  “John and I married young, before we truly knew ourselves, never mind each other. Unfortunately, several years after we married, we realized how much we loved one another as friends but not...” The heat from the blush crept up her face. “Not as husband and wife, not as lovers.” Pausing, she wet her suddenly parched lips with her tongue. “We divorced when Cameron was five. John has since remarried and I found out today he and his wife, Cheryl, are expecting baby number four.”

  ***

  Cole remained quiet. He couldn’t help but wonder about her and the ex-husband and why they didn’t fit as lovers. “That’s nice about the baby.” Standing, he slowly unfolded his tall frame and mumbled, “I’ll be right back.” He strolled across the room to speak to Cameron, who still stuffed his face with food. Everyone else had left for the night. Cole smiled to himself as he watched Cameron, and he felt a pull to his heart. This was one special kid.

  “Hey, Cameron,” Cole said.

  The boy nodded his head as his mouth swelled with food.

  “I have a question to ask and I want you to answer truthfully,” Cole said in a serious tone, which in turn got Cameron’s undivided attention.

  Cole stole a look at Shannon, who had sat back into the couch and watched him with keen interest. His pulse raced. Frowning, he wondered all of a sudden what he was doing. What would someone like Shannon Gallagher possibly see in someone like him? He, Cole Jackson, an aging rocker who’d spent his best years behind bars and had nothing to offer her at this most crazy time in his life. Confidence man. Have some confidence in your ability to read women. Oh, that’s right, silly him, he hadn’t been around that many women. But he could see the interested signs radiating from her, and he planned on finding out just how interested she was.

  “Would you mind if I asked your mom out on a date?”

  Cameron choked on his mouthful of food. “My mom,” he said with his eyes bugging out of his head. “Why?”

  “Because she’s smart, talented, warm and kind, and hell, I’ve only known her for a few hours—can you imagine how many more fascinating traits she has?” His eyes collided with hers. The heat sparkling from her eyes and shooting across the room at him had his blood pumping south at an alarming rate.

  “I guess it would be okay. Better than okay, it would be way cool,” Cameron replied, still appearing a little stunned.

  Cole still hadn’t broken eye contact with Shannon. “Great Cameron, it’s late. Go to bed.”

  “Huh.” Cameron glanced from Cole to his mother and took the hint. After saying goodnight to him, he went over to his mom and Cole heard him say. “Night Mom, I’m really tired, I think I’ll turn in. Stay here with Cole.”

  ***

  Shannon’s whole body sizzled from Cole’s intense stare as he causally strolled toward the couch and turned the television on to Saturday Night Live. Sitting down beside her, he surprised her by wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close so their heads rested against each other. It seemed completely natural for her to be here like this with him. They sat for a time, neither one speaking.

  Every nerve ending in her body was completely aware of him, from his manly smell of sandalwood with a hint of leather to his breath tickling her cheek. Add the warmth coming from his strong arms and the heat from his thighs brushing up against hers and it was a wonder she didn’t self-combust.

  God knew she had written enough about love at first sight and strong physical attractions over the years. But had she honestly believed it existed? Whether she did before or not, she was a believer now. Somehow she felt connected to this man. A piercing bond which ran deep within the marrow of her bones, and she had no idea why? And now was not the time she wanted to question it.

  She wanted to enjoy it.

  Revel in it.

  Exist with it.

  Shannon was snapped out of her reverie at the sound of Cole’s deep voice saying things that surprised her.

  “My marriage to Lindsey was not your typical marriage. I had loved her since I was seventeen.” His voice held no emotion. “After we formed the band and started traveling she…” He paused and Shannon felt and heard him take a deep breath and let it out. “Well, she definitely stopped loving me. Let’s just say, she loved everyone but me. I think that’s why I drank so much and snorted cocaine. I was embarrassed and ashamed by Lindsey’s careless treatment of my heart. I never let on I knew about her affairs, and she clearly had no plans to change our relationship.” He squeezed his arms around Shannon tighter and buried his head in her hair, inhaling deeply. “During the last two years of our marriage, I never touched her. I never touched anybody. I could have had dozens of women, but as unconventional as our marriage was, I would not break our wedding vows.”

  Shannon’s chest and throat constricted painfully in response to what he said. He had been hurt badly by Lindsey, and she said the only thing she could. “I’m sorry.”

  He snorted. “Yes well, I’m sorry about a lot of things. I’m sorry Lindsey died. I’m sorry I never found out who really killed her. I’m sorry I spent fifteen years rotting in jail for a murder I didn’t commit.” His voice suddenly softened. “And I’m sorry we didn’t meet years ago.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes and his name came out as a whis
per. “Cole.”

  He sniffed. “You’re not afraid of me Shannon, are you? Please tell me you’re not afraid.”

  Stunned by his pleading, Shannon took a moment to think. No. She was not afraid of him. Although he probably believed most women would be afraid of a man who’d been convicted of killing his wife, whether they believed it or not. She certainly did not believe it, at least she didn’t think so, and she would prove it.

  His body trembled against hers as he waited for her answer. She had something much better in mind than words. Pivoting into him, she cradled his devastatingly handsome somber face with her unsteady hands and gave him her most endearing smile as she tugged his mouth to hers.

  He hesitated, and she believed he was afraid to let himself go. She continued tasting him, running her tongue along his soft moist lips until she felt him sigh and open his warm wet mouth to let her in. A deep guttural moan came from deep inside his throat and vibrated into hers. He pulled her so close their bodies molded together as one, and he took over the kiss and deepened it still. He tasted her, devoured her air and explored every last speck of her. There wasn’t any part of her mouth, tongue, face, neck or lips he hadn’t tasted, and it rocked her world.

  Shannon’s whole body burned with desire for him. However, she heard little warning bells go off inside her head. It’s too soon and too fast. Sanity broke through her hormones, reached her mind and she pulled back and tried to catch her breath. It was then she realized her hands were still on his face. Giving him an uncertain smile she dropped her hands to her lap. “I never believed you harmed Lindsey, and I am most definitely not afraid of you.” Her voice held strong conviction and sounded in complete control, contrary to how she really felt inside. Her insides burned with longing for Cole. She trembled with the need to have his hands and mouth all over every last of inch of her body.

  ***

  Cole closed his eyes and held her tightly as his heart rate lowered to a more normal speed. Breathing in her unique scent, he realized he never wanted to let her go. Did she have any idea how much those words meant to him? How much they soothed his broken, needy heart? She couldn’t know, or could she? Her eyes shone with such intelligence. There probably wasn’t much that went on around her she didn’t notice. Could she possibly know how he felt about her? She probably did, just as he suspected her feelings for him ran along the same parallel lines. But the million-dollar question was could those lines be joined?

  “I better walk you to your room,” he breathed out. He had to, before something neither one of them was prepared for happened. And if he held her much longer there was no doubt in his mind it would happen.

  “Hmm, yes you better.”

  They walked hand in hand down two floors to Shannon’s room. Once outside her room they heard the mumble of the television coming from inside. Cole ran his hands through her silky hair. Had anyone’s hair ever felt better? “When we have some time, I’d like to hear about your writing and how it all came about. Meanwhile,” he whispered, “what are your plans for tomorrow?” Shannon’s eyes were closed and her lips slightly parted as he continued caressing her hair.

  “Hmm, I have a book signing at Copley Place from twelve to three.”

  He leaned in close and placed soft, silky kisses along her neck and up to her ear, causing her to moan. “Would you mind if I stopped by?”

  “Hmm ... oh, no, I mean yes, please do.”

  He grinned at her as his hands cupped her face, and he kissed her gently. “Goodnight, Shannon Gallagher,” he murmured.

  As he walked away, he heard her soft reply, “Goodnight, Cole Jackson.”

  ***

  When she stepped inside her hotel room, she saw Cameron asleep and sighed with relief. She didn’t want him seeing her all ... all what? Acting like a lovesick teenager and floating on top of cloud nine as though she’d been kissed for the first time? Smiling, she touched her fingers to her lips and twirled around. Cole Jackson was quite a man. She never would have thought in her wildest dreams, well yes, in her dreams, but not in real life, that she would ever meet Cole Jackson, never mind kiss him. Never mind lose her heart to him in a matter of hours. Damn, her stomach had butterflies swarming inside it. Her whole body tingled with...something indescribable, nerves, excitement, terror, longing, both emotionally and physically.

  Shannon didn’t believe Cole killed his wife. Being a romantic at heart, she couldn’t help but bleed for the man convicted of his wife’s murder. At the time every picture depicted of him told a heartbreaking tale. His eyes were so incredibly sad. You could tell he had truly loved his wife and grieved deeply for losing her.

  Nothing Shannon had heard all those years ago would make her believe one of her biggest rock idols committed murder. She remembered exactly where she was when she’d heard the guilty verdict. Sitting at her kitchen table eating lunch with her son and she cried as she listened as each juror voiced the words guilty. Cried as they handcuffed and leg shackled a stunned Cole Jackson who had tears streaming down his handsome face. And here she was, so many years later fancying herself in love with him.

  It had been so long, actually never, since she felt this way and it unsettled her considering who her feelings were for. Not because he had been to prison, but because of the man himself. She headed into the bathroom and took an extra-long hot shower. Dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, she climbed into the nice soft bed, burrowed deep into the covers and fell asleep dreaming about Cole. She’d dreamed about him before, but it was the first time her dreams were based on reality, and reality far surpassed the imagination.

  ***

  Cole lay awake in bed arguing with himself about this thing with Shannon—whatever it was. Hoping he wasn’t making a mistake starting something with her when his life was in shambles. Not to mention, he hadn’t befriended nor slept with a woman in almost fifteen years, and in his book it put him out of practice. Well, not exactly true. Two days after his release from prison, he had hired a high-priced call girl from an escort service in New York. He’d hired her for the entire night as he’d wanted to feel a warm body sleeping beside him. His twelve hours with her set him back a pretty penny, but it had done wonders in bringing back his manhood and some of his self-esteem. Other than the call girl, and this would come as a shock to most people, especially considering what his lifestyle had been like, Lindsey was the only other woman he’d ever been with. They had lost their virginity together.

  There had been plenty of opportunities for other women. Women came backstage all the time offering to give all the band members blow jobs. Since no one else in the band was married at the time, they took the sex offered. Cole would sit and watch the orgies going on around him through a drug induced haze because it never stopped at oral sex.

  Before Lindsey began sleeping around, they would join in, but only with each other. After the affairs began, Cole wouldn’t—couldn’t make love to Lindsey. He was dead, emotionally as well as physically where she was concerned. As he’d told Shannon earlier in the evening, he could not, would not, break his wedding vows. Stupid, considering Lindsey didn’t give a damn about them.

  Now, he felt more than a little frightened at the prospect of having a relationship with Shannon. If in fact, they even had one. He certainly hoped so because he didn’t think his heart would ever be the same after meeting her. Which brought his mind back to the real reason for the uncertainty? Did Shannon truly believe in his innocence? Why? No one else did?

  He would never forget the day the verdict came in. It had seemed like a lifetime waiting for the jurors to deliberate, when in fact only two days had gone by. Cole remembered standing in the courtroom dressed uncomfortably in a suit, which only added to the bizarreness of the day. His head hung down and tears streamed down his face as the verdict was read. He barely stifled a sob as he heard the word “guilty” and then the pain of a knife eviscerating his heart, over and over. A jury of his peers had found him guilty of second degree murder for killing his wife.

  He pictured his
beautiful Lindsey in his mind. They had known one another their whole lives and had been in love for most of it. Married at twenty, she was dead at twenty-three. And God help him—he didn’t do it. Even if he didn’t remember much about the night, he knew one thing for certain—he could never have harmed her. But, it didn’t matter what he knew, it only mattered what everyone else believed and what they believed to be the truth condemned him.

  They saw a young, budding rock star in his twenties who spent his days and nights drinking, drugging and partying. They were easily swayed by the prosecutor’s closing argument. He depicted him as a self-absorbed twenty-three-year-old-spoiled brat who would do anything to get his way, and he somehow convinced the jury his wife had gotten in his way.

  Cole’s defense attorney was Arthur Monroe. Considered by some to be the best in the country, but sometimes the best wasn’t good enough. The evidence against him was circumstantial at best and the murder weapon never found. Mr. Monroe argued every case point, objected to every defamation of Cole’s character. He called to the stand a long list of character witnesses attesting to Cole’s upstanding and peaceful personality. None of it mattered.

  In the end, the jury heard only what they wanted to hear, that Cole had been high on cocaine, drunk on beer and in the heat of the moment had stabbed Lindsey Jackson once in the heart. He never went for help, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway—she’d died instantly. He had disposed of the murder weapon, passed out on the floor next to her body and woke up the next morning covered in his dead wife’s blood. How could he not be guilty?

  Cole remembered feeling his lawyer’s hand pressed against the middle of his back. Small comfort to a man whose life just crashed down around him? His lungs burned, making it impossible to breathe as the knife lodged deeper into his chest. His body began to tremble painfully, and Cole thought he would be sick as the reality of the situation slammed into him. He was to be transferred to a maximum security prison in upstate New York for a stay of twenty years. He was eligible for parole after fifteen.