Broken Wing

by Judith James

  She recognized it was something he had to do. It was independence and strength that had helped him survive his abysmal childhood, and it was the same qualities now that refused to allow him to be dependent on anyone else for his livelihood. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. You’re right, of course. It is a solution. You will establish yourself, and Ross will have time to calm down. If you must go, I’d rather you be with Davey than anywhere else. I just hate to lose you so soon after … I’ll miss you. When will you go?”

  “Davey leaves this week, Sarah. I’ll go and see him this evening and ask to live on the ship until then. Your brother will shoot me if he catches me climbing up to your room again. That’s done now I’m afraid.”

  She knew he was right. Their all too brief idyll was over and nothing would ever be the same. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as he rocked her in his arms.

  “Shhh, mignonne, don’t cry. We’ll be together, you’ll see. Your brother will grow to accept it, and we’ll be married and have many happy years together. I promise.”

  “How long will you be gone” she asked brokenly.

  “I don’t know, love,” he whispered. “At least six months, more if we have bad weather. No more than a year. Will you wait for me that long?”

  “However long it takes. However long you want me to.”

  “What does that mean, chère?”

  “It will be a grand adventure for you, Gabriel. You’ve had little opportunity to travel. You’ll be able to see things you’ve only read about. If you’re going to do it, I want you to feel free to experience new things, to meet new … people.”

  He burst out laughing and ruffled her hair. “Don’t be absurd, mignonne! Do you really think I would choose to be with any woman but you? I love you, Sarah. I’d never treat you that way!”

  “A year is a long time, though, Gabe. A man has needs.”

  “So does a woman. You’re everything I’ve ever needed, Sarah, the only woman I’ll ever want or need. I’ve waited all my life for you. I’ll wait as long as it takes, if you will.”

  “Of course, I will.”

  “I wish you could come with me, chère.”

  “I’ve sailed with Davey before. Perhaps I should come with you.”

  “He would never allow it. He knows Ross would never forgive him.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because I asked him, when he first brought it up.”

  “Thank you for asking.” She tried her best to give him a bright smile as he wheeled his mount to ride away toward Davey, and danger, and an uncertain future, but her lower lip quivered and her eyes pricked with tears.

  Davey was genuinely dismayed when Gabriel recounted the afternoon’s events. “You mean to tell me the man came home to find you sitting in his office, on his chair, with your feet on his desk as you blithely fondled his baby sister?”

  Gabriel winced. “It sounds worse the way you tell it, Davey, but yes, essentially that’s what happened.”

  “You’re lucky Ross didn’t kill you.”

  “He has threatened to. I’d like to think I could defend myself if the need arose.”

  “Not a battle a man wants to fight, my boy. Lose it, and you lose your life. Win it, and you lose the girl.”

  “I’m well aware of that, Davey. He’s ordered me out and I’ve left.”

  “And what of Sarah?”

  “I love her, and I intend to marry her.”

  “Over Ross’s dead body, I should think.”

  “She’s agreed to it, Davey. She’s a grown woman and she doesn’t need his permission.”

  “True enough, lad. True enough. Then why aren’t you with her now?”

  “I can hardly stay at the manor now, and I won’t have her choose between me and her brothers.”

  Nodding his approval, Davey pointed to a chair, and poured two glasses of brandy. “Sit yourself down, man.”

  “Can I stay here, Davey? Is your offer still open?”

  “You mean to be a privateer then, Gabriel?”

  “Yes, if you’ll have me.”

  “Oh, I’ll be glad enough to have you, though Ross will have my guts for garters, but what does the lass think of it?”

  “She’s hurt and upset, but I can’t think of anything else to do. I hope to make enough money to support her, and I hope that Huntington will have calmed down by the time I return.”

  “He likely will have. Perhaps he would have already, if you’d been a little more discreet in breaking the news to him.”

  Gabriel flushed with embarrassment.

  “She’s got money of her own. What’s wrong with that?”

  “I’m not a leech, Davey.”

  “Well, clearly you were not brought up with the right and proper aristocratic values. Marrying an heiress so you can live comfortably off her fortune is quite the thing these days, my boy. You’re sure you don’t want to reconsider?”

  “I’m certain, Davey. I intend for my wife to live comfortably off of my fortune.”

  “Fair enough, but I’ve no mind to be in Ross’s bad graces on account of you, so we’ll leave on the morrow before he can find out you’re here. I can finish stocking the ship in Polperro.” He stood and offered Gabriel his hand. “Go stow your gear now, lad, and welcome aboard.”

  CHAPTER

  20

  Ross sat nursing a stiff drink, finally getting over his initial shock and outrage. The lad hadn’t dared show himself since this morning, and a good thing, too. What had gotten into Sarah? What had she been thinking, displaying herself in wanton abandon, in his office, in broad daylight, with that dissipated libertine? It was disgraceful! He took another sip of his drink, then leaned back and massaged his temples with his fingertips.

  Well, it was too late for regrets now. He was at least partly to blame, leaving them unsupervised as he’d done. Sighing, he leaned back in his chair, twirling the glass between his fingers. It was obvious they had strong feelings for each other. What to do? Throw Gabriel out of the house? If he did, Sarah might go with him, and he was not prepared to lose her again. He had shown some promise, and his intentions were proper, even if his behavior was not. If they truly loved each other, if there was any chance they might make a happy life together, then God bless them. It was rare enough in this world.

  He would bow to the inevitable, and try to salvage the thing as best he could. In the morning he’d contact his solicitor and make arrangements to cede the lad a property, perhaps attaching a respectable and relatively obscure name to it. He would give him the opportunity to act as lieutenant on one of his merchant vessels, with a view to making him captain in time. There would be no more smuggling. The lad would do as he was told, if he wanted Ross’s permission to marry his sister.

  When morning broke, the L’Espérance was gone, and Gabriel with it. Sarah was heartbroken. She hadn’t expected him to leave so suddenly. She’d thought they would have a day or two. She’d thought he would come, at least one more time, to say goodbye. She was sitting in the breakfast room, listlessly buttering her toast, when Ross came in.

  “Good morning, sister.”

  “Good morning, brother,” she said, waving her hand in a tired gesture. “As you can see, I’m still here. You didn’t order the carriage, so I assumed I might stay.”

  “Pray don’t be ridiculous this early in the morning, Sarah. It gives me a headache. Where is your … fiancé?”

  “He has left, with our cousin, for the Mediterranean,” she said brokenly, tears welling in her eyes.

  “The devil, you say! What on earth possessed him? Oh, Sarah, I’m sorry.” He reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “I thought he intended to marry you.”

  “He did. He does.”

  “Well, I must say he appears to be rather halfhearted about it, if he scampers off at the first sign of trouble.”

  “Why do you persist in thinking the worst of him, Ross?”

  “If I thought the worst of him, I’d have never allowed him near you, or James.
Why do you persist in thinking the worst of me? Surely you didn’t really think I’d do him an injury, or force you to leave?”

  “I didn’t know what to believe, Ross. I have never seen you so angry, and if I thought that you might, you can be sure Gabriel did, as well. He couldn’t very well stay, under the circumstances. He left because he knew how much it would upset me if you and he harmed each other, and because he didn’t want me to have to choose between you.”

  “Hell and damnation! Sarah, I am sorry, but I’m only human. I have a temper and the fellow tried it severely. He was in my office, with his feet on my desk, fondling you! Of course, I was angry. If you’d only given me time to calm down, we would have come to some kind of accommodation. It’s why I sought you out this morning. I’m prepared to accept him if you want him that badly, with certain conditions, of course. Come now, girl, stop your crying,” he said gently. “It’s not too late. They left only this morning. I’ll send a clipper after them and fetch him back to you.”

  Smiling through her tears, Sarah reached out and patted his hand. “Thank you, Ross. I do love you a very great deal. You are the best brother in the world, but I’m afraid it won’t do any good. He won’t accept your conditions. He means to have me on his own terms. He’s quite decided.”

  “And just how does he propose to do that, my dear?”

  “He doesn’t wish to be beholden to you, or me, or anyone else for his livelihood. He hopes to make his fortune with Davey, so he can support us both. He hopes that you will have grown more accepting during his absence, and when he returns, he intends us to be married, with or without your permission.”

  Ross nodded, feeling a grudging respect. He’d underestimated Gabriel, it seemed. The lad intended to prove himself. It was a quaint notion, but one he thoroughly approved of, and it made the idea of him marrying Sarah a damn sight more palatable. “Well, good for him!”

  Sarah sighed, and sat up straight. “I suppose. I can’t help but wish he’d put his love for me before his pride.”

  “No, my dear. You misunderstand such things, as women often do. It is because he loves you that he wishes to prove his worth. I admire him for it.”

  “Well, I don’t require it of him,” she snapped. “I know his worth already. I don’t understand why he can’t accept that.”

  “Perhaps it’s not you he seeks to prove it to, but himself.”

  She knew the instant he said it that he was right.

  “In any case, my dear, I respect him for it. Doubtless, he will write you when he can, and you may tell him that if he presents himself, with sufficient funds and in an appropriate manner at some time in the future, he can expect my approval of his suit.”

  “Thank you, Ross,” she said, giving him a hug. “That means a great deal.”

  “Yes, quite,” Ross said, feeling decidedly uncomfortable, “and you mustn’t worry too much, my dear. Davey will take good care of him and he’ll be back before you know it.”

  CHAPTER

  21

  Davey observed his newest lieutenant through narrowed eyes. They were less than half a day out of Falmouth, and already Gabriel’s dreary demeanor, surly address, and dour looks were souring his mood. Where was the lad’s spirit of adventure? He hoped to hell he wasn’t going to have to endure the fellow’s pining and bad temper for the entire voyage. “Gabriel! Over here! A word with you, man.”

  “Aye, Davey, what is it?”

  “It’s a stunning fine day, we’ve a spanking wind on our tail, and the lads are all primed for adventure. How long do you intend to mope about like a lovesick puppy?”

  Stiffening, Gabriel drew himself up to his full height. “If I’ve been negligent or remiss in my duties, I apologize.”

  “Of course, you haven’t, but you’re bad for morale! My morale, at any rate. The girl told you she loved you. She’s agreed to marry you. You’re off to seek fame and fortune, and you’ll be back between her … er … in her arms before you know it. You’ve no reason for brooding.”

  “You’re right, Davey. I apologize. I just wish I’d done a better job of things yesterday. It wasn’t right, the way I left her. She was so hurt and unhappy. I never even said good-bye.”

  “What? You didn’t say good-bye to Sarah?”

  “No … I … I thought we’d have more time. I didn’t think we’d be leaving so soon.”

  “Hmm, that’s likely to annoy her, lad, and you don’t want a woman annoyed with you for months on end, especially when you’re not going to be around to remind her of all your good qualities.”

  Gabriel sighed. “You’re not making it any better, Davey.”

  “Well … it’s easily enough mended. I’m partial to her myself, Gabriel. I hate to imagine her hurting unnecessarily, and I daresay she’ll be angry enough with me for taking you away as it is. We’ll turn back if you like. We can anchor offshore tonight and you can slip in and say your farewells.”

  “You would do that, Davey?”

  “I’ve just said so, haven’t I? I’d rather lose a day now than have to put up with your ill temper for the rest of this trip. Just promise me it will put you back in good humor.”

  “I’ll promise you anything. God love you, man!”

  “Oh, he does, lad, no doubt he does. Everyone does. Now let’s turn this ship around.”

  “You’re a ship’s captain, Davey? A real one?”

  “No, Gabriel, I’m the cabin boy. What kind of question is that?”

  “Can you marry us? As ship’s captain?”

  “Eh? What?”

  “Sarah was so unhappy. I think it might make her feel better about my leaving.”

  “Well, I don’t know about that, lad. I could do it, but I doubt it’d be legal. But my cook now, Master Aubrey, he acts as chaplain when needed. He’s one of Christ’s vicars as I recall. He might do the trick, but I’m not sure ‘tis a good idea, Gabriel. The ladies tend to like flowers and guests and fancy dresses and such. She never had that for her first marriage. That was an unhappy affair. It would be a shame were she to miss it for this one, as well.”

  “We can do all of that when I return.”

  “So … a secret wedding,” Davey mused. “A private affair no one else need know about. You’ve seen right through me, lad. ‘Tis romance that fuels my soul. I expect we can arrange something. But it will never leave this ship and you’ll do it proper and official when we get back. Agreed?”

  “Agreed!”

  “Then let me be the first to congratulate you on your great good fortune!” Davey said, shaking Gabriel’s hand vigorously. “And let’s hope she’s not so annoyed at your hasty departure that she turns you down.”

  Restless in her sleep, Sarah groaned, rolled over, and opened her eyes. He was sitting in the window seat leaning back on his elbows. She smiled, delighted to see him. He looked almost real. “Will you come like this to see me every night in my dreams?”

  “I will do my best, mignonne.”

  The sound of his voice, hoarse with longing, swept away the last vestiges of sleep. “My God, it is you! You’re here! How can that be?” She flew from the bed and threw herself in his arms.

  He caught her tight and kissed her hungrily, her throat, her cheeks, her brow, her lips. “God, Sarah, I don’t know how I’ll survive without you. I need you more than food, or water, or air.”

  “How is it you’re here, Gabriel? I thought you’d left with Davey” she asked between fevered kisses.

  “I couldn’t leave without saying good-bye, without telling you how much I love you.”

  “Can you stay?”

  “No, mignonne, I cannot. Davey waits for me off-shore.”

  “How much time do we have?”

  “There is a boat, Sarah, it waits for me now.” She drew back and touched his cheek. “No time at all then.”

  “I’ve come to ask you if you’ll marry me, Sarah.”

  “I’ve already told you I would. Do you doubt me?”

  “I mean now, chère. This very nig
ht. There’s a man aboard L’Espérance who will marry us, if you agree, and Davey will give us his cabin for the night. I know it’s not what you wanted, and I promise you, we’ll do it right, with your family, when I—”

  “Yes, yes, yes!” She covered his face with ardent kisses. “I’ll marry you, this very night! I can hardly believe we’re really going to do it!” She hugged him with joy. “I was so afraid something would happen to prevent it. Oh, Gabriel! Nothing would make me happier!”

  He set her down with a happy grin, thankful she’d agreed, overjoyed to think that in a few short hours she would be his wife, and deeply relieved that the sadness he’d put there yesterday had finally left her eyes.

  “Oh, my Lord, Gabriel, what shall I wear? I have nothing appropriate,” she said, uncharacteristically flustered.

  “That’s never stopped you before, mignonne. Might I suggest your breeches? It will make it easier getting you there and back. Besides, sweetheart, do you really want to waste time finding something to wear when we have so little of it left, and when I plan to have you naked as soon as I possibly can?” Remembering what Davey had said, he added, “I promise you, Sarah, we’ll be married properly when I return, with guests, and flowers, and music. You shall have a beautiful dress and your family will be there. But tonight is just for us.”

  “Yes, of course,” she said with a happy smile, hauling on a pair of breeches and boots. “You’re absolutely right.” Turning around to look for a shirt, she found him waiting, hand outstretched, holding the shirt she’d pilfered from him a lifetime ago.

  “I would be deeply grateful if you’d wear this, mignonne. It … moves me to see you in it.”

  She was about to object, it was far too large for her, suitable only for a bed garment, but the hungry pleading in his eyes stifled her protest. Plucking it from his fingers with a saucy grin, she put it on and carefully tucked it in. “Your men will think I’m a terrible hoyden.”

  “My men will think me the luckiest man on earth, and they will surely be right.” Sweeping her into his arms, he pulled her tight against his length and kissed the top of her head. “Can you manage to climb down the oak if I help you?”