Grace of Gods Boxset: Reincarnated Greek Gods YA/NA Series
Page 18
As my fingers curled around his dark locks I pulled his head back, exposing his neck to me. It was all the invitation I needed as I moved downwards, kissing and sucking on the flesh. Each spot I hit left another red welt in the trail of my descent until at his collarbone I sunk my teeth in and bruised him. I wanted to mark him, I wanted other women to know I was there if they had the nerve to take off his shirt. I wanted them to know he was mine and no one else's.
"Easy, my Queen." He twisted his head away, his lips colliding with mine again. My chest grew heavy with anticipation, my breath coming out in short pants as I waited for the next motion to come. But he held my gaze, that iconic smirk of his slowly painting itself on his features and I knew he was savoring my absolute desperation for him.
"Tell me you love me Blondie..." The nickname slid off his tongue easily it threw me. I had been sure this was Zeus and Hera, with a subtle nod from Aidan. But that question was distinctly Aidan. Was he finally embracing the King of the Heavens, now that both held in their arms the thing they desired the most.
Hera was certain she loved her husband that I could tell. She could remember the first time she knew she loved Zeus. The moment he had reached into the belly of their father and took her by the hand, freeing her from the prison she'd known. She had stood in front of him, their eyes holding one another and she knew she couldn't live without him. Side by side they had fought their father and the other Titans, together bringing him to his knees they could take the throne for their own.
Sure, she had played coy, pretended that she wanted nothing to do with him but that was all a part of the game. The fun of it was his never knowing but in moments like this they were both sure.
They had ruled fiercely together right until the end when their power began to dwindle and no one believed in them anymore. To her, that hadn't mattered because she believed in him and that was enough. But when Atlas put them into their eternal slumber they had made sure to be together, they could wait arm in arm for the right time. Even now, even after thousands of years, how she felt that first day hadn't changed.
He infuriated her, often scared her and hurt her more times than she could count but despite all that, her love for him had never subsided.
"I love you my King." The words came out easily, from Hera and maybe even from me, but the response was all he'd wanted. He'd wanted to hear what he knew, confirm the things he thought and be assured that in this moment he had absolute power over the woman in his arms.
Afterwards, we lay there, skin to skin, gasping for more air than we needed.
Aidan chuckled suddenly, the noise surprising me in the silence. I turned my head as best as I could to see him. Our eyes met once more as he grinned, leaning down and kissing me softly on the lips. This kiss was tenderer than the last; his lips massaged my swollen ones.
My eyes slid shut as I lost myself in the sensation of it, the gentleness of his caress. I could distinctly tell the difference now between Aidan and Zeus.
The man kissing me right now was Aidan.
He hadn’t struck me before as the cuddling type and yet he seemed quite content to wrap his arm around my shoulder, leaning in to press a kiss to my forehead.
A knot formed in my stomach tightly and I knew I couldn’t grow accustomed to this sort of treatment. This wasn’t him, maybe it was a part of him but it wasn’t a part that he was ready to fully share and that’s what I knew I wanted. What Hera and I wanted.
It was a reluctant gesture, which took quite a bit of exertion from me, but I pushed myself away from him. Standing up and tucking a piece of loose hair back behind my ear as I stared down at him. His eyes met mine and I could swear we were having an entire conversation in that moment without saying anything.
“You can’t go.” He said his body instantly tensing and I could tell what I was going to do was going to hurt him.
“I have to.” I pushed my lips together, trying to keep my emotions under control. “I can’t ask for what I want from you. But I also can’t be… this.” I held my hand out to motion between us. “All this was, was the effect of a lot of pent up tension, emotions and an absolute loss of control. I can’t let that happen again.”
His eyes darkened slightly and from nowhere thunder rumbled in the distance, shaking the room. I licked my lips in worry, knowing that I was upsetting a God at the same time as I was this man but I had to stay strong.
“You can’t do that. You can’t fight with me, admit those things to me and make me vulnerable only to leave afterwards.” He stood, reaching out and grasping my arm somewhat possessively. I tugged it from his grasp, trying to stand my ground no matter how guilty I felt about all this.
Shaking my head, I tried again to explain myself, “No Aidan, I’m glad this happened… I’m glad I know now – for sure. I like these moments between us of sheer honesty but I can’t risk giving in again. I can’t trade honesty for dignity. Not when every time takes another bit of me with you. I’m sorry… please don’t hate me.”
“It’s not a hookup for me, Savannah. This is real, what we feel is real. You’re the only one that’s ever cared about that. No one else cares about me, not here or back home. They pretend to, hanging onto my every word, treating me as if I’m something special but they genuinely don’t give a shit about what I’m feeling. No one except you.”
I saw now how important this had been for him, why he’d been easy to give into Zeus despite his previous reservations for his God. He knew that if he could give into what Zeus wanted he could get what he wanted as well. But I didn’t trust Zeus; in some ways, I didn’t trust him either. How could he be different with me no matter what he was feeling?
I tried to think of something to say, something to justify what I was doing but words failed me. I shook my head and turned from him. It was the best response I could muster and I knew it was the cowards’ way out.
“You said you loved me!” He threw my words, said in the heat of passion, back at me. It stung a little.
“I was trying to turn my life around before I came here… I wanted to stop letting men take advantage of me, stop putting much of myself out there for nothing in return. I needed to stop falling in love easily with the wrong guy because it was going to kill me eventually. And you’re that guy, Aidan. Besides, you don’t want someone like me in your life. I’m too needy, you don’t want a girlfriend – you said it all yourself.”
Aidan stood there for a pregnant pause, assessing everything I said to him. It wasn’t easy for either of us to let the other in, to trust, to let go and hope that the other would be there to catch us. It was a massive leap neither of us was willing to take and I could see this realization flashing through his features.
“I’m sorry.” He finally said, moving around me and walking back to where our clothes were discarded. I watched him as he began to redress himself when he suddenly stopped and looked back up at me, holding out my dress. “I don’t hate you. I couldn’t.”
Tentatively I returned to his side, taking the dress from him and pulling it on. Struck dumb, I merely nodded before turning and heading for the door, tears already beginning to sting my eyes. It was stupid to feel sorry for myself right now, if I could have managed it I could have stayed and let this moment linger only to deal with the pain he would inevitably inflict later. But Hera had asked me to be strong, it was our turn now to inflict the pain. Maybe, one day, all this could be worth it.
Sniffling softly, I wiped my cheeks quickly before dropping my hands to my side, folded tightly into fists and digging my nails into the bed of soft flesh there. Part of me had hoped that he would disagree and tell me I was wrong, I hoped he was going to say he could be the man I needed. But I walked out and he said nothing, it was as good as goodbye as any.
“Savannah.” His voice called me back and I quickly wiped my eyes before turning to face him, my stomach lifting in hope.
“What?” He moved toward me, his shirt still in his hand from being in the middle of dressing and as he reached me he bru
shed my cheeks clear of any more tears.
“Don’t go. Don’t leave me. I’m not that man you need yet, but I can be. I can get there, but only if you don’t go.”
My eyes widened in surprise as he said these things to me, my heart stopping in my throat as I found myself stiffen.
“You’ll hurt me Aidan, in the end I’m going to get hurt because I have unrealistic expectations for you. You couldn’t meet them even if you wanted to because they’re not in your nature, or his…”
The hand on my cheek splayed out, cupping it gently as he spoke again, “You’re not even going to try. Knowing everything you know, you’re willing to not bother and walk away?” His eyes searched mine, scrutinizing the truth of my words and I fought the desire to shy away from its intensity.
“I don’t believe that, because you also know how much worse it is being alone. Being alone and wanting something much that your entire being aches for it. Please, don’t go.”
“And how long will it last for Aidan? A day? A week? A month, if I’m lucky? Then what? You’ll get bored, you’ll cheat, and you’ll break my already fragile heart…” I returned his gaze, willing him to disagree and say he’d be gentle and take care of me but I knew he couldn’t because it wasn’t in him.
“Do you think I want to be that man? That I want to be like him? All I’m asking for is a chance to not be him. And you’re the key to that, I don’t even know what I mean when I say that but it’s true.”
He dropped his hold on my face, staring down at his feet and I was struck with the sense that when he said, “that man” he didn’t necessarily mean Zeus. “You’re not the only one with a fragile heart.”
“I’m the Goddess of monogamy, I’m hardly going to break your heart.” I smiled softly at him; it was my way of telling him I was in – for now.
He laughed, a rare genuine smile painting itself on. “As true as that may be, there are other ways to break a man’s heart. I’ll try to be gentle, if you try to be patient.”
“I’ll try, but I won’t tolerate fooling around Aidan. If we do this, we do it. I want it all or nothing. Do you understand?”
“All or nothing.” He nodded sternly, his eyes never leaving mine.
Chapter 19
I was smiling all day, even as I got ready to meet Atlas. After spending most of the morning with Aidan in the library we’d gone back to our apartment and both found notes from the Titan. He was asking us to meet him back at the training room later to work on our one on one skills.
“Frankly, I think it’s a bit weird Atlas wants to watch. But I could be into voyeurism.” Aidan had said immediately after, eliciting a laugh and a roll of the eyes from me. After a couple more kisses, I finally managed to tear myself away long enough to go and change into something more appropriate for training. In the matter of a single morning, things had changed quickly. Aidan was more relaxed than I had ever seen him, letting his guard down around me and being more of himself. We had a lot more in common than I had ever imagined. We were both deeply insecure, though perhaps for vastly different reasons. We both had a mortal past we were ashamed of and both of us were trying to use this opportunity to redefine ourselves without that cloud lingering overhead.
Aidan was thoughtful too, for someone who had perfected the façade of a vain, powerful asshole he also had a sensitive side to him that calculated everything he did right down to how it would affect him in the long term. Aidan didn’t do anything without great consideration, which made me a little more comfortable with jumping in both feet first into this relationship thing. Not that we were calling each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” – that had been Aidan’s stipulation.
However, Aidan did have a slight tendency to make irrational decisions the moment he felt threatened. His nature for self-preservation kicked in at the most primitive level and he made the first decision he thought of that might get him out of that situation. It was a little worrisome, especially with Atlas’ talk of prophecies and danger.
“Okay, I’m ready.” He returned to my apartment. I’d been ready for a while, donned in my typical yoga outfit and my hair tied back in a ponytail.
“Yeah, me too.” I started for the door, grabbing my water bottle on the way out to be sure as Aidan moved up beside me, his hand slipping into my free one. He gave it a reassuring squeeze before reaching the door and holding it open for me. I nodded my thanks before slipping through, keeping a firm grip on his hand as I did before waiting for him in the hallway.
He squeezed my hand again before leading me toward the closest door grabbing it and walking through confidently like you were supposed to.
He walked us right through the door into the training room. But it was not the training room from our previous session. This one was setup as a martial arts dojo. There were punching bags hanging from the ceiling and a matted floor for any scrimmages people wanted to indulge in.
Atlas stood in the middle of the room, his arms crossed against his chest as he stared at us slowly. I could feel his eyes make their way from the knotted fingers between us, right up to the bashful flush that made its way to my cheeks.
“Glad to see you two are trying to get along better…” He said simply after a long awkward moment, no doubt intended to make us uncomfortable.
Aidan simply shrugged, once more the picture of absolute coolness. He couldn’t be bothered with what Atlas thought or didn’t think about us and I wished secretly that I could have such a cavalier attitude myself.
“What are we doing?” I piped up, trying to use Aidan’s strength at my side to not let embarrassment get the better of me.
“Well, like my note had said I wanted to work on your one-on-one skills together but it seems like you both have managed to do that on your own.” I could feel Aidan smirking while I grimaced with more embarrassment before letting go of his hand and moving further into the room. I reached out and touched the punching bags.
“What does working out have to do with one-on-one skills?”
“Being Zeus and Hera has a lot of perks, especially if you’re both in a period of getting along. No doubt you’ve already experienced the highs and lows of your royal matrimony.”
We both nodded in agreement as Atlas continued, “well, while you both are incredible
when it comes to fighting, being able to do it unlike anyone else in the world, you also are much more powerful when you work together. I’m sure, Aidan, Zeus has told you how he couldn’t have overthrown his father without the help of his sister.”
I turned to look at Aidan who shrugged, not giving up one way or the other about what Zeus had told him.
“Well, he couldn’t have and that’s because you two can draw from each other a stronger, organic source of power. It’s why you’re the best example of a power couple in all of history. I wanted to put you through a couple of different types of training you can see that when I say organic power I don’t mean magical power. You get physical strength from each other as well. It’s important you both learn how to absorb this energy from each other and how to use it because you never know when you might need it.”
He moved over to me, reaching out and bracing the punching bag, “hit it Savannah.” I looked up at him, arched an eyebrow and then glanced over my shoulder at Aidan who shrugged at me as if to say, ‘humor him.’
I turned back around and bent down to set my water bottle down before bracing myself and throwing a right hook at the bag. It didn’t even shift against Atlas; he didn’t even need to steady himself.
I frowned, determination riling up inside of me as I tried again knowing that surely, I had to have power to punch this thing if I could throw Aidan across the room and pin Charlotte to a wall. But then again… Aidan had been there for both of those times.
Well, I didn’t need him for something silly like throwing a punch. Pulling my arm back I tried again and once more Atlas didn’t even move.
“Let me try.” Aidan had moved to my side and I stepped away for him. I watched as he
did the same thing as me but this time with a one-two but Atlas, again, didn’t even flinch.
“I’m sure if it was another human holding onto this you both could move it, but the reason you’re having trouble now is because you’re only using your mortal strength to try and move it. As immortals, you also gain many other abilities unique to a God. You’re indestructible against human devices – guns, knives, bombs, etcetera; you cannot be injured in the way a human can against other humans, only other Gods and immortal creatures can harm you. Your body is a thousand times stronger than your mortal one for this exact reason. You must learn how to enable that strength within you to the point where its use becomes innate.”
Aidan was too busy being frustrated by the fact that he hadn’t been able to move Atlas that he tried again, this time throwing the off-guard Titan back a few steps. Atlas chuckled as he nodded and returned to his post behind the bag.
“Yes, exactly Aidan.”
“How did you do that?” I said, turning to look at him. Shaking his head, he grappled for words, “I thought about how much I wanted to prove him wrong and I imagined doing it.”
Atlas nodded, a grin pressing on his features as he moved around the bag to fully face us.
“Yes. Exactly. That’s exactly it. Your power is in your mind, for everything. Mortals talk about a sixth sense that some possess, scientists explain it by saying that humans only use 10% of their brain. Well, the Gods – they use the other 90% of their brain, it’s why they can do magic and other things mortals can’t. The sixth sense is the mind, being able to will and control things as simple as strength and power is all merely derived from your thoughts.”
He moved away from the bag and over to the mat, signaling with a twitch of his neck that we were to follow.