by Carré White
“Mrs. Hershey told me a little about your predicament. I know you’ve been married before, and you just had his kid. That doesn't bother me in the least. I’m just hoping you know how to cook. I’ve been on the road my whole life, eating nothing but beans and sourdough biscuits. I’d love a wife to make me a real meal every night,” he winked, “and do other things for me. I work for Mr. Kelly now, lookin’ after his ranch and things. I got a real good job with good pay. I could take care of you and your baby.”
“Goodness, that’s astonishing, but we don’t know each other in the least.”
“I’m aware of that. As soon as you’re able, I’d like to court you.”
I was nearly speechless. “I … I … will consider it. I did come here for a husband.”
“You’re prettier than I thought. I wasn’t expecting much, but you sure are a looker.”
I stared at him, not knowing what to say. “Thank you.”
“I think the lady needs to rest,” said Nicolas. “She’s just given birth, Chuck. Cut her some slack, will you?”
“Oh, sure, Preacher. I just want her to know that I’ll be waiting until she recovers.”
“She knows that,” he grated. “You’ve made it perfectly clear.”
I had to smile at Nicolas, because he had grown red with anger. “I’ll get well soon enough, Mr. Brittle. I won’t keep you waiting long. Just a few days.”
He tipped his hat. “That sounds good. You have a nice night, you hear?”
“I will.” After he left, I glanced at Nicolas. “He’s very nice.” This statement received the desired effect, because his scowl deepened.
“I’ve heard a thing or two about him, and he’s not nice. He’s a philanderer and a drunk. No woman in her right mind would take up with that man.”
“But he brought me flowers.” I held them in my hands. “Can you put these in water, please? That way, whenever I look at them, I can think of how pleasant and charming Mr. Brittle is.”
Snatching the flowers, he strode to the window, throwing up the sash. Then, with a flick of his wrist, he tossed them out. I did not feel angry in the least, because I was far too amused by his jealous behavior.
I feigned anger. “Why did you do that? Those were perfectly lovely flowers.”
“You don’t need those. The baby might sneeze. Some people react poorly to weeds.”
“They weren’t weeds.”
“Yes, they were.” He strode to the bed, scooping Noah into his arms. “Grab your things. You’re coming with me.”
“Where on earth do you want me to go?”
“You’re staying in my room. I can’t leave you alone in here knowing that man knows where you live. Your door’s broken anyhow.”
“I’m sure Mr. Brittle won’t bother me.”
“I’m not. Get your things.”
“You’re awfully bossy tonight. What if I don’t want to go to your place? I prefer to sleep in my own bed.” That was a lie, as I felt a thrill at the prospect of spending more time with Nicolas. It was impossible to hide my smile.
“Where your welfare is concerned, I’ll be bossy. You’re in no condition to fight off the advances of scoundrels and rakes.”
“Scoundrels and rakes?” I giggled, not being able to help myself.
“Let’s go. Take what you need for tonight.”
Sliding from the bed, I reached for the pillow. “This is ridiculous. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I protected you from a knife-wielding bandit last night, if you will remember.”
“I do, but you’ve just given birth. You need to rest.”
“In my own bed.”
“You belong in my bed, and that’s where you’ll be.”
The implications of those words were scandalous, and, as I stared at Nicolas, waiting for this realization to dawn on him, his cheeks grew intensely red.
“I mean,” he said, his expression mortified. “I meant to say, you’re safer with me. You and Noah may sleep in my bed. I’ll take the couch.”
“I suppose I have to go. You’ve stolen my son.”
“I’m not stealing him, Celia.”
“He’s in your arms.”
“I’m taking him somewhere safe. Now stop arguing with me.”
“I’m not arguing.”
“You are right now.” He waited by the door. “Come along, please.”
I gathered the items in my hands, holding the pillow to my chest. As I passed him by the door, stepping into the hallway, I said, “There might be some advantages to being unmarried. I forgot how overbearing husbands are. In these last few months, I’ve grown to like my freedom.” I could feel his scowl burning holes into my back.
Chapter 14
Noah woke three times during the night, and, near dawn, I slept with him snuggled up against me, his mouth around a nipple. Being exhausted, I could feed him and sleep at the same time, which was a blessing. It wasn’t until I felt the bed shift, that I realized we weren’t alone.
“Nick?”
He moved hair away from my forehead. “I’m sorry I woke you. You’re still sleepy.”
“I am. I didn’t know he’d cry so often.” I lifted my head. “You look tired too. You didn’t need to be on the couch. I could’ve stayed in my room. That must’ve been uncomfortable.”
“It was fine.”
Noah slept soundly, his tiny hand fisted near his mouth. “I need more diapers for him.”
“You need quite a few things for starters, but you mustn’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”
Sitting up, I meant to leave the bed, but being this close to Nicolas had the strangest affect. His bleary eyes remained fixed upon me, and in them I saw all that he had been trying so hard to conceal. He cared for me deeply, his actions speaking far louder than any words. The urge to hug him had my arms snaking around his neck, while I pressed myself to him.
“Thank you.”
I thought he might push me away, but he held me close, his face in my neck. “It’s my duty to take care of those who cannot help themselves.”
That was not why he had invited Noah and I to stay with him, but I would not press him on this issue. “Then you’d have all the vagrants of Boot Creek here.”
He gently pushed me away. “I’ll go see about a bassinette and diapers. I’m sure Mrs. Hershey can help with whatever supplies you need. The church has donations of things we can use.”
“That would be wonderful.”
“I’ll be back shortly. The diapers are more urgent than the other things, so I’ll see what I can do about those.”
“Thank you, Nick.”
“You’re welcome.”
After he left, I busied myself with washing and dressing, while Noah slept. I made coffee and breakfast as well, but by the time Nicolas returned, Noah had begun to fuss. Having to work, he left shortly after, and I sat down to feed the baby. A knock on the door had me on my feet.
“Coming.” Holding the baby to my chest, I pulled open the door, finding Mrs. Hershey.
“Oh, my goodness!” she exclaimed. “I heard all about it from Doctor Baker. How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
Her expression bordered on rapturous. “And you’ve a beautiful son! He’s darling! Congratulations.”
I returned to the couch, holding Noah, as he fed. “I went into labor quite early yesterday, I suppose. By the time dinner came around, I was having the worst of the contractions.”
She sat in the rocking chair, crushing the bustle at the back of her skirt. “I knew Nicolas would help you. Arranging for you to live here was a very wise choice.”
“After Chuck Brittle came to my door last night, Nicolas insisted Noah and I stay with him.”
“Mr. Brittle was here?” An eyebrow lifted.
“Yes, he came quite late. He had expected me for dinner, but I was having a baby. He brought flowers and everything. I think he’s rather handsome, but Nicolas doesn’t like him. He tossed the flowers out the window.”
&n
bsp; “I see.” She grinned knowingly.
“Then he made me stay here.”
“Well, the plan is all coming together.”
“And what plan is that?”
“To have him fall madly in love with you.”
“He’s already in love, Doris. He’s fighting it.”
“He won’t be able to for long. You’ve already gotten under his skin. Anyone can see you’re a perfect match. And it’s scandalous you’re staying here. If he cares one bit about your reputation, he’ll offer marriage by the end of the week.”
“I don’t want to rush him. There’s something holding him back. That woman in the drawing. I have yet to learn who she is and what she means to him.”
“Whoever it is, it’s in the past. What he has before him now is his future. He’s an astute man. He’ll come to his senses soon enough.”
“I hope you’re right, but I still know so little about him. I won’t force him in any way.”
“That won’t be necessary. He’s as good as hooked.”
“You make him sound like a fish.” I grinned.
“Yes, I suppose. He’s caught either way.” She glanced at Noah, who had finished eating. “He’s precious. I can’t wait to hold him.”
“I’ve so many things to ask you about. I’ve a few diapers now, but I’ll need more. That way I have two days’ worth, and I can wash every other day. All I’ll be doing for the foreseeable future is laundry.”
“Welcome to motherhood,” she said dryly.
* * *
By the weeks’ end, we had settled into a routine, although I hadn’t slept as well as I should, because Noah had a habit of waking several times during the night. My milk had come in, which was startling, as my breasts doubled in size, forcing me to discard the bodices. Mrs. Hershey brought over several calico dresses that were a size too large, and they were the only garments I could wear at the moment.
Noah slept in the morning and then in the afternoon, and I was able to take those moments to wash laundry and prepare supper. While Nicolas was at work, I read books and cuddled Noah, relishing every moment I had with him, thinking that if his father were still alive, he would be proud. I had come to respect Lloyd, but I was not in love with him. I had never yearned to kiss him or touch him. Our intimate moments were perfunctory, as I submitted to him whenever he demanded it. He had provided and taken care of me, giving me this sweet baby, whom I loved more than I ever thought possible.
Nicolas came home late that evening, and I had already put Noah down. I stood in the kitchen, as the door opened. “You’re here finally,” I said.
He left his things on the table, approaching. “Mrs. Stetter’s daughter died. I had to console the family.” Dark smudges lay beneath his eyes.
“You look so tired. I know you’re not sleeping well, Nick. That couch is too small for you, and the cushions are hard.” I touched his face. “Take your bed back.”
“You’re in it.”
“I’ll share it.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, I murmured, “No one has to know.” He sucked in a breath. “It’ll be our secret.”
His arms went around me. “All I could think about was coming home. I’ve seen grief before, but this was terrible. She was their only daughter. They were devastated.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Consoling people is the worst part of my job. I’d rather baptize babies or marry couples. I can’t bear to see people suffer, Celia. It tears at my heart to see a parent mourn their child. It makes me think something like that might happen to me one day. I can’t imagine surviving that pain. Life is a cruel mistress. If you attach yourself too closely to things—to people, they go away.” He stepped out of my embrace. “I think … ”
“What?”
“You and Noah should probably return to your room now. The danger of Mr. Brittle has passed, and you’ll be perfectly safe.”
It felt like a punch to the belly. “You want us to leave?”
“You’re not leaving, Celia. You live down the hall. You may come back whenever you wish to wash your clothes and make food. People are talking about our arrangement, and I don’t want to damage their opinion of you.”
“That is sensible.” Stunned, I could only stare at him, wondering at the change. We had been living in what I thought was perfect harmony, but it had suddenly come to an abrupt end. “I made Shepherd’s Pie. I’ve already eaten, but you’re welcome to the rest. I’ll just go get my things.” I brushed past him, hurrying for the bedroom before I embarrassed myself with tears. When I had packed all of Noah’s belongings, I returned to the parlor, where Nicolas was. “It’ll take two trips. I’ll be right back.”
It felt odd being in the small room that I had called home. With just the bed and a dresser, it seemed so sparse and closed in. I would not be able to make tea whenever I wanted or a cup of hot chocolate in the middle of the night. If I needed to sooth Noah, I would have to go into the hallway to walk back and forth with him over my shoulder.
I sat on the bed, as despair washed over me. “What happened today?” I asked myself. “Why the sudden change? Death is terrible, but everyone has to die at some point. Maybe, he’s just had a bad day, and he’ll feel differently tomorrow. He’s not slept well at all this week on that couch. It’s dreadfully uncomfortable. Maybe he’ll miss us when we’re gone? Or he’ll be glad that we’re no longer in his house. I don’t know.” I held my face in my hands. “I had so hoped he would ask to marry me. I felt certain it would happen. If he’s going to be like this, if he can’t move forward, I’ll have to look elsewhere.” I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “There are other men in town. None of them hold a candle to Nicolas, but I never should’ve set my sights so high. What were you thinking, Celia? You’re a poor man’s daughter. You belong with someone like Walter Holter or Chuck Brittle. You belong on a farm.”
I had to return to get Noah, who slept in his bassinette. I needed to pack my things. I forced the tears away, knowing they would return later in a deluge of despair, but, for now, I had to look serene and composed. I felt none of those things. It felt like my world had just come apart at the seams. When I returned to Nick’s room, he remained seated at the table, his look bland, but I sensed his despair. He needed time to himself, and it was best that Noah and I go away for the night. Perhaps, what he had seen today had been too much for him. I still knew so little about him, but this was mostly because he refused to reveal anything to me.
“I’ll be out of your hair in just a moment.” I tried so desperately to sound cheerful, the pronunciation of every word sounded a pitch higher. “Almost done.” I left again with the baby, holding the bassinette in my arms, while Noah slept. He would be awake soon enough, demanding a feeding. When I returned, I hurried to toss my things into the traveling bag. “All right. That’s it.” I gazed at Nicolas, who continued to sit mutely. “Thank you for allowing us to stay with you. You’ve been very kind.”
“It’s been my pleasure,” he said dully.
“I’ll see you in the morning then, I suppose.”
“You may come cook whenever you wish.”
“You never should’ve given me your bed. You must be exhausted.”
“It’s no matter.”
“You’re a wonderful man, Nick.”
“I’m the town’s preacher. I’m supposed to be as helpful as possible.”
“And you are. I admire you.”
“Don’t.” He got to his feet, as something akin to anger danced in his eyes. “I’m no God, Celia. I’m just a flawed individual who’s afraid of his own shadow. That’s nothing to admire, I can tell you. You’re more of a man than I’ll ever be. You’ve more courage than I could hope to have. You’re the better person.”
Stunned at these words, I could only stare at him.
“You’re a vibrant, beautiful woman. I feel so much better in your presence, but I can’t offer you anything more at this time. You deserve so much better. Noah deserves better.”
“That
’s not true. I disagree, but I shall go. I can see that you’re terribly upset about something. I wish you’d tell me what it is, but you won’t. If you need anything, Nick, I’m down the hall.”
I left then, because the conversation had ended on the worst possible note. He had a bad day, and he wanted to be alone. I had to hope he might seek me out later. But first … I would have a good cry, because tears pricked the back of my eyes, threatening to appear at any moment.
Chapter 15
Noah woke only once during the night, which was astonishing. I slept soundly, until morning, leaving the room to use the water closet. When I returned, I dressed and readied myself to go over to Nicolas’s apartment to make breakfast. Using the extra key, I let myself in. His bedroom door remained closed, so I set about brewing coffee and cooking, eating by myself when it was all done. When I heard Noah crying down the hall, I got up from the table and left the apartment.
An hour later, a knock sounded on my door. “Just a moment.” Reaching for the knob, I glanced at who had come to visit. “Mrs. Hershey.”
“You’re here now. I tried Pastor Kinsley’s door, but no one answered.”
“Yes, I’m here now.” I sat on the bed with Noah in my arms.
Her look remained hopeful. “I came to see if I needed to arrange more meetings for you with the unmarried men of Boot Creek.”
“I believe you do.”
“Oh, no.” Her smile dropped. “But I thought he would court you. What happened?”
“I don’t know. He’s tired, Doris. He had a terrible day at work. I’ve given him the space he’s asked for.”
“The Stetters lost Rosemary. They’re devastated. It’s all anyone’s talking about at the moment. She became sick suddenly and died. It was shock.”
“I’m sorry for their loss.”
“She was newly engaged, and her fiancé’s having a terrible time of it.”
“I can understand that. I should be mourning Lloyd still instead of trying to find another husband.”
“People are far more practical out here, Celia. Women need protection, especially in places like Boot Creek.”
