by Carré White
“I did find Mr. Brittle interesting. I never had supper with him. Perhaps, another meeting can be arranged. I’m afraid to set my heart on someone like Nicolas. He’s above my social standing anyhow. I never truly thought anything would come of that. I had hoped, yes, but I’m a practical girl. I know where my place is.”
“Mr. Brittle’s a viable candidate. He’s rough around the edges, but Mr. Kelly trusts him. I know his wife, Lola, wasn’t all that fond of him at first, but she’s accepted him. He’s run around wild long enough. He needs a strong woman to take him in hand.”
“Well, he’s as good as any, I suppose,” I said dully.
“There’s the spirit.” She reached for the door. “I’ll see what I can do. You can bring the baby to me when you have a date. I can watch him for you.”
“Thank you, Doris. You’ve been very kind. It’s time I focus on getting a husband. I must take it seriously. I had so hoped it would be Nick, but I’ll run out of money soon enough, and I can’t wait for him to make up his mind about offering for me. Time isn’t a luxury I can afford.”
“If that man lets you slip through his fingers, he’s daft! You don’t want to marry someone that stupid.”
I giggled at that. “True.”
“If he sees you with Chuck, he might snap out of it. There’s nothing like watching the woman you love in the arms of someone else. It’s highly motivating.”
I sighed. “If only it were that easy. He’s grappling with something from his past. He’s been hurt before. I think he was in love with some woman, and it went badly. He won’t speak about it.”
“Please, don’t give up on Pastor Kinsley yet. If you need money, I’ll give you money. I would wait as long as I could before I settled for someone else. It’s your future too, and it’s just as important, no matter if you’re rich or poor. I’ve seen plenty of paupers land on their feet in spectacular fashion. Just because you come from little, doesn’t mean you’ll go right back to that. No one says you can’t ask for more out of life, my dear.”
I hadn’t thought of things in that way. “I suppose.”
“Folks come west for a change. They’re tired of being forced to live a certain way. That’s why they fled Ireland during the great famine. That’s why people come from cities. That’s why so many took a chance and left everything behind to settle places such as Denver City and beyond. It’s the desire to do better that’s brought us all here. Even my husband wanted more out of life. He never would’ve been Mayor in Delaware, if we had stayed. We came out to make our fortune, and we’ve been rather successful.”
I smiled, delighted by the things she had said, because they gave me hope. “Thank you, Doris.”
“Don't settle for less. I know you feel quite desperate at the moment, but I’d cry if I saw you unhappy with someone you didn’t love.”
“I’d cry too.”
“Take your time. Please don’t rush this.”
I did not want to live off the charity of others, knowing I would have to find a husband soon. I lied, “Of course, Doris. I’ll do that.” Perhaps, if given the time, I might fall in love with Chuck. He seemed handsome enough and kind enough, bringing me flowers when we had not even met yet. “I’ll think it over carefully.”
She nodded. “Good.”
* * *
I saw very little of Nicolas over the next few days, as he seemed to leave early for work and return late. I continued to use his cook stove, making meals, which I assumed he ate, but I never was able to converse with him. I would find the pots and dishes clean the next morning, the silverware drying on a dishtowel. By the time Sunday arrived, I hurried to ready Noah and myself for church, anticipating Pastor Kinsley’s sermon. He would not be able to escape me there.
Noah slept in my arms, lying over my shoulder, while I left the room. The smell of cooking filled the hallway, one of the other tenants having made breakfast. I had eaten a biscuit I’d made the day before, not wanting to disturb Nicolas this morning. Mrs. Hershey had invited several ladies to lunch, I being one of them. I could ignore my rumbling belly for a few hours, knowing lunch would be a treat.
I strolled down the boardwalk with Noah, past shops that had drawn their shades, although the saloon remained open, piano music spilling out into the street. I ventured further, passing people who loitered.
“Hello, darlin’!” said a man, who leered.
Ignoring him, I continued, hurrying for the whitewashed church down the end of the lane. There were carriages parked out front and horses tethered to the hitching post. I wasn’t well-acquainted with anyone just yet, other than Mrs. Hershey, but I recognized several women from Bible study. They kindly waved me over, and I was able to have a conversation with them, feeling as if I wasn’t completely alone.
Mr. and Mrs. Hershey had arrived with Doctor Baker and his wife. The people I recognized as the Kelly’s were here too, although I would never dare to speak to them, as they were so far above me socially. Noah continued to sleep peacefully in my arms, and, when it was time to go in, I followed behind the ladies with whom I had been speaking. Dressed in yellow calico, with a serviceable bonnet, I appeared rather plain, but the garments were a vast improvement over what I had worn before.
“Hey there, pretty lady,” said a man behind me.
I turned to find Mr. Brittle. “Hello.”
“Do you mind if I sit with you?” He looked dapper in a tailored sack suit and necktie.
I had chosen a seat close to the pulpit. “That’s fine.” There was a Bible stashed in the pew before me.
“I’ve been away. I would’ve come to see you, but I had some business in Santa Fe.”
“Oh.” The room had filled in, and there wasn’t a pew available, as people stood at the back of the church. “Thank you for the flowers.”
“Ah, that’s nothin’. I picked them in a field before I came over.”
“But it’s the thought that counts. I appreciate the gesture.”
His grin creased the edge of his eyes. “Ladies do seem to like flowers.”
“We do.”
Before I could say another word, Pastor Kinsley appeared, coming to stand before us. The circles beneath his eyes had improved, and he wasn’t as haggard looking. Due to my absence, he seemed to have recovered his health, but that realization sat painfully in my stomach, as if I had eaten the pit from a peach. A part of me had hoped he would look worse, thinking he would feel aggrieved to be without me, but that did not seem to be the case.
He enjoyed eating my meals, as if I were someone he hired to cook, but, otherwise, I was of no use to him. He had been kind to offer us his apartment, even giving up his own bed for a while, but it had only been compassion and duty that had prevailed upon him to behave thusly. I had read far too much into his manner, thinking that perhaps he might feel a measure of affection for me. How could I have been so wrong? Every female instinct I possessed had been certain he loved me. It felt humbling to have been so wrong, my pride haven taken a beating.
“Good morning,” Nicolas said, gazing at his parishioners. “I’m always grateful to see so many of you here.” He smiled kindly, staring down at us, seeing me. The smile faltered for the briefest second, as he stared at Chuck, before he mastered his emotions. “I’d like to begin with a reading from Exodus 20:12.”
Mr. Brittle reached for the Bible. Not having my own, I was forced to share, which I did not mind in the least, as I held Noah and could not hold the book.
“‘Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.’”
I listened, as he spoke about the importance of family. He said it was the foundation from which we grow, and without it we were in danger. The backbone of society would crumble without the support of the institution of marriage. He seemed slightly detached from the topic, his posture stiff, and he stopped to clear his throat often. His attention drifted to me more than once, and I sensed he was displeased that Noah and I sat with Mr. Brittle. After the serv
ice had concluded, I got to my feet.
“That’s a good baby,” said Chuck.
“I fed him right before. I’m sure you’ll get an earful soon enough.” He had begun to fuss.
“I’d like to take you to lunch.”
“I can’t. I’m meeting several ladies.”
“Perhaps dinner then.”
“I’d have to find someone to mind Noah.”
He stood in the aisle, as people filed past. “I don’t mind eating with the baby. It don’t bother me in the least.”
“I wouldn’t want to upset fellow diners.”
“What if I got a little something together, and we drove to the Kelly Ranch? There’s some nice views from a bluff overlooking the valley. It’s really pretty at sunset. No one will care if your kid screams bloody murder out there.” He grinned.
Such a thing sounded wildly romantic, and I would be a fool if I refused. “All right.” I spied Nicolas from the corner of my eye talking with Sheriff Ballew.
“I’ll come get you at seven then.”
“What do I bring?”
“Just yourself, honey.”
“Very well.” I followed him out, squinting in the sunlight.
Mrs. Hershey waved to me. “Celia! Come along, my dear.”
I hurried over to her, while Noah began to cry. “I need to feed him.”
“Come sit in my carriage. I’ve drapes on the windows.”
“Oh, thank you.”
I stepped into the conveyance, as the door clicked behind me. Settling on the seat, I unbuttoned my dress. Whenever Noah first suckled, the milk came in a rush, nearly choking him, but today his hunger outmatched the torrent. Then a blissful lethargy settled in, leaving me utterly relaxed. While Noah ate, I could hear talking all around, as people greeted one another.
“What is she doing with that man?” asked a voice I recognized immediately. It was Nicolas.
“With what man, Pastor Kinsley?” He spoke to Doris.
“That Brittle character. I don’t like seeing her with him. I had them right under my nose, and it did not please me one bit.”
The harsh tone in his voice concerned me. I moved the drapes aside an inch to observe him. His expression had hardened, as lines appeared between his eyes.
“Mr. Kinsley,” she said sternly. “I really can’t help you. You’re a grown man, sir, if you don’t mind me pointing out the obvious. If you have feelings for that woman, I suggest you act on them with haste. She’s quite serious about finding a husband. It’s her right to speak to whomever she wishes and sit with whomever she wishes. You’re a neighbor of hers, but you’ve not declared yourself. She’s not betrothed to you. You’re not courting her. No promises have been made, that I’m aware of. She’s perfectly free to see whoever she wishes.”
Removing his hat, he ran fingers through his hair. I knew this to be a sign of frustration. “I would like to, but I can’t offer for her.” He looked miserable, tormented.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m already married.”
My mouth fell open. “What?” I uttered.
“Come again?” Mrs. Hershey blinked rapidly.
Chapter 16
“I’m already married.”
“How on earth is that possible?”
He glanced over his shoulder, to make sure he would not be overheard, but he hadn’t a clue I sat in a carriage three feet away.
“It’s a long story,” he said glumly. “I haven’t seen her in five years. She ran off with my best friend.”
“Oh, Pastor Kinsley.” Mrs. Hershey’s face was awash with sympathy. “How dreadful. I had no idea whatsoever.”
“No one knows. I never wanted to marry again, so this matter hadn’t been a problem … until now.”
“I’m sure something can be done. It sounds like you were abandoned.”
“I was.”
“Then maybe the marriage is null and void? Perhaps, she’s already had it taken care of. I’m sure she wanted to marry that other person.”
“I don’t know.”
“Where did the marriage occur?”
“Missouri.”
“Write to the county clerk, and find out what the status is.”
Someone approached, and he said, “I’ll see what I can do, Mrs. Hershey. Thank you for bringing this issue to my attention.”
She watched him go, as a friend stopped to talk to her. I continued to feed Noah, while my mind reeled. When Doris had a moment free, she opened the door and stepped into the carriage, sliding onto the seat across from me.
“Did you hear that?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, the mystery is finally revealed.”
“He’s already married. That explains a great deal.”
“It most certainly does,” she exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. “No wonder he never took a wife. We’ve been talking about his bachelorhood for years now. I’ve tossed more women at him than I can count,” she chortled. “But all is not lost, my dear. All is not lost. Once he finds out about the marriage, he’ll be better able to move forward. He might have to dissolve it himself, I suppose. What woman leaves her husband?”
“I don’t know.”
“It must have devastated his pride, the poor man. I’ve always sensed his unhappiness. Now I know where it’s coming from.”
I sighed, lifting Noah over a shoulder to burp him. “Well, it doesn’t solve my problems. I’ve a date tonight with Mr. Brittle. We’re having dinner outside at sunset. He’s invited Noah too.”
“I told Nicolas he’d better offer for you soon, before someone else does.”
“He can’t.” My attitude remained pragmatic, although hearing that he was married had been stunning. “I’m looking forward to a little romance. It would be lovely to sit under the stars and have a meal with a handsome man.”
She looked pained. “You’re not meant for Chuck. You love Nicolas. Are you not happy about this?”
“Learning that he’s married? No. I’m not happy.”
“But you came here under false pretenses, Celia. You lied too. I hate to do this, but it’s the truth. You’re not above a lie yourself.”
I nodded, accepting her criticism. “True. None of us are perfect.”
“He’s struggling with what happened, but he’s admitted it now. I’m sure he’ll rectify the situation as soon as possible.”
“Perhaps.”
“And you’ll still have supper with Mr. Brittle?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“You’re either a stupid girl or very smart. I can’t decide which it is.”
“I don’t know. Until I’ve a firm promise from Nick, I must assume he doesn’t want me. Any judge would annul the marriage based on abandonment of affection or whatever it is they call it. He shouldn’t have to live alone for his entire life, but maybe he wishes it. He’d prefer to stew in unhappiness, than take a chance on another woman, who may break his heart. Some men are like that.”
“But you wouldn’t. You’re salt of the earth people, Celia.” She smiled kindly. “You would never hurt him.”
“Thank you. You’re right. I would never leave him. I adore him. Not seeing him has been the hardest thing. It’s been dreadful.” Tears filled my eyes, and I willed them away. “I love being with him. I love talking to him. I miss him.”
Her hand covered mine. “Then something will have to be done about it.”
“If the Lord wants me to marry the preacher man, I’m sure I will. Otherwise, it looks like I might be a rancher’s wife.” I shrugged. “I have almost no control over a thing, Mrs. Hershey. All I can do is take care of Noah and pray.”
“And you’re doing a fine job at that. That baby’s grown since I last saw him.”
“He’s a rascal, keeping me up at night.”
“They’re all like that.” The door of the carriage opened, and Mayor Hershey stood before us. “Hello, dear. Are you ready?”
“Yes, I am.” Mr. Hershey glanced at me. “M
rs. Wellington. How are you?”
“I’m well. How are you?”
He sat next to his wife. “Excellent.”
“We’re having lunch, Ralph.”
“Where?”
“At the hotel.”
“I’ll have the driver drop you off.”
“Thank you, my dear.”
There were four other ladies at lunch, one of them being the Sheriff’s wife, Leslie, and her teenage daughter, Tamarra. We sat at a large table in the middle of the room eating and laughing, while I held Noah, who slept soundly. I adored talking with other women, learning a great deal about local events and gossip, but I had grown tired, wanting to take a nap before I prepared for my evening with Chuck. Once the dessert plates had been taken away, I excused myself, leaving my luncheon companions to wander back to the Men’s Emporium.
Passing the saloon, a man exited the establishment, thrusting open the batwing doors and striding out onto the boardwalk. For a moment, I saw into the establishment, spying someone who looked exactly like Chuck Brittle sitting at a table with a pink clad saloon girl on his lap. There were dozens of men inside, laughing and gambling, while several saloon girls paraded around in frilly, low-cut bodices with feather boas around their necks. Curious, I approached the window, which needed a thorough cleaning, glancing inside at the patrons.
“Lookin’ fer yer husband?” asked a toothless man.
“No.” I had seen enough.
The person with the floozy on his lap had indeed been Chuck Brittle. One hand was on her belly, while the other grazed her bosom. Disgusted and disappointed, I carried on, determined to go home.
“I can go in and get yer husband, if you want.”
“That’s not necessary.”
I had suffered two disappointments today, the first being that Nicolas was secretly married and now this. My opinion of men had sunk rather low at the moment, and I doubted it would improve at all in an hour. My desire for a sunset meal had died. I would eat at home alone instead. I could not even hope that Nicolas would join me. He seemed to be elsewhere in the evenings now.
