Gaige

by Alaska Angelini

  The crowds were thick toward the middle of the main entrance and I kept my eyes peeled. This may have been an everyday outing for most, but I didn’t trust anyone. Marco’s men could have had a break and found her, but I doubted it. There was no new intelligence. He was continuing on with looking for a buyer for his franchise. All new players were in the game. One agent managed to slide in, but not from our department, and not to buy in with his business. No doubt Marco was covering his ass more than ever and we’d be screwed unless he fucked up again.

  Elle headed into an electronics store and I hung out outside, scanning the area. Watching her, here and there. My cock throbbed, my stomach felt like someone had repeatedly kicked the shit out of it, and my chest ached, like it had been harpooned by the mother of all spears. How had this happened to me? Me. The man who had never needed anyone. Who used women to get his fucked up kinks. Albeit, they enjoyed it, but I never called them back. Patricia was the exception. I had liked her. Not the analyzing bullshit, though. Our relationship hadn’t lasted all of three weeks before I pulled the plug, but we’d stayed friends, as much of a friend that I could be.

  My eyes came back toward the store just in time to see Elle round the corner and collide with a man holding a handful of CD’s. My first instinct was to rush forward, but I walked closer instead, staying back, letting her remain in her element.

  “I’m sorry,” she rushed. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.” Something she was making a habit of.

  “It’s okay,” he laughed, bending down to start picking up the cases he’d dropped. She followed suit, handing him ones that were closer to her feet. He looked up, his head tilting as he really studied her appearance. My guard shot up and I eased closer, watching the dark haired man that couldn’t have been but maybe thirty. The plaid button up shirt he wore screamed business type. There wasn’t a bad bone in his body if my instincts knew anything, and they did.

  Elle looked up and reached forward to hand him the CD’s, her smile slowly fading as they stared into each other’s eyes. Panic set in and I could almost feel myself losing her before I’d even had a chance to really have her.

  “You have the most amazing eyes,” the guy whispered, just as lost as I’d ever been. I knew that heart pounding, rush of adrenaline he was experiencing.

  “Thank you.” Elle picked up her boxes and stood abruptly, turning cold. Blocking him out just as she’d done with me. “I’m really sorry.” She gave an apologetic smile and headed for the cash register. The man was quick to catch up with her

  “I’m sorry.” He moved to her side. “I didn’t get your name.”

  At the opening and shutting of her mouth, I stepped in, ready to end this already. “Lynn, there you are.” I came up beside her, looking over as if I’d only just seen the guy standing there. “Oh, I’m sorry, was I interrupting? I’m Caleb. Her husband.” My hand outstretched to his and he shook it, looking back at Elle, then down at her hand. My lips peeled back into a smile.

  “I’m Paul.” Although he said it, he was still staring at her hand, trying to see around the box if she wore a ring.

  “Nice to meet you.” I dismissed him, tucking the hair behind her ear, even though she tried to move back. “You almost ready, honey? Our rings are almost done being cleaned and I’m starving.”

  The amazing color Paul and I had been entranced with disappeared behind her tightened gaze. She cut them over to him and stood straighter. “Maybe Paul wants to join us. I mean, Patricia is probably going to meet you there anyway. Maybe I’d like some company. After all, the rings aren’t going anywhere, we’re just going to sell them in the divorce anyway.”

  My head snapped to her and I could have thrown her over the counter and lit her ass on fire.

  “Oh, you’re getting a divorce. I’m sorry to hear that.” He stepped back, nervously. But his attention didn’t waver and he didn’t leave.

  “Yes,” Elle answered. “Caleb has decided he’s ready to move on and I couldn’t agree more. Right…honey?”

  Oh, how I wanted to argue. To squash this little game right into the ground. But I’d interrupted her free time when I’d promised her weeks ago on our first time out that I wouldn’t.

  “I doubt I’ll ever truly move on, but I know where you stand.” I stepped back. “I’ll be waiting outside.”

  They talked the entire time they waited in the line. Elle laughed. I seethed. When they walked out of the store together and right past me, neither one seemed to notice I was waiting. The food court stood ahead. When they ordered coffee and took a seat, so did I, three tables over. Paul seemed to catch himself and scanned the area until he found me, only to frown and turn back to her.

  For another half hour, they talked. The guy pulled out his phone and I knew Elle was giving him the number to the cell I’d provided her. And here I thought it’d make her feel more in control of her new life. Never did I think she’d use it to actually start dating, if that’s what she planned on doing.

  They stood and he went one way while she came toward me. I didn’t even look at her as I stood and began following her back out to the truck. It wasn’t until we were inside and leaving that she started laughing, making me look over.

  “My husband? What were you thinking, Gaige?”

  I was thinking you were mine and no one had any right trying to hit on you.

  “Just keeping you out of trouble. We don’t know that guy, he could be drug dealer or a pedophile.”

  “Paul? You couldn’t have got that impression from him. He’s harmless.” Her lips pressed together to hold in a smile and I tried to keep my attention on the road.

  The traffic thickened at the exit, but I slipped onto the road just fine before heading to the freeway. I was stalling because she was right.

  “I told him we weren’t really married.”

  I glanced over. “What did you say?”

  Was it good? Bad? Fuck. This was too much. Too fucking complicated. I wanted to take over and enforce my rules, make her mine whether she wanted it or not.

  “I said you were a friend. An overprotective one and that you were just looking out for me.”

  “Kind of odd I wasn’t part of the conversation if I was just a friend, don’t you think?”

  She shrugged, appearing as if that information hadn’t occurred to her. “I couldn’t lie and say we were getting divorced, Gaige. It wasn’t right. Like a bad omen for any future husband I choose to have. I just tried to tell the truth as much as I could.”

  “He planning on calling you?”

  Elle took a deep breath and looked down. “Maybe. We’ll see if he does. I told him I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but friends were okay.”

  “You’re really about friends lately.” Did she know she could have one right here if she’d just let me in. God dammit. Why not me?

  “Friends are good to have. I’ve missed the feeling.”

  I switched lanes, exiting to the road I needed to take to get us home. Elle pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin against them as she stared ahead. Her mind was going. I could see small expressions filter through as the minutes rolled by.

  “Do you miss being yourself, Gaige?”

  “What?” The bend came up again, giving me a perfect view of our place. I took it in, visions making me hard as I barely heard her.

  “You know, the one who’s hiding in my room, in the closet, do you miss him?”

  My cock didn’t need any more memories of Elle strapped to my cross or lying against my seat to stand at full attention. Her bringing up my past did it enough.

  “Every fucking day,” I said, sadness nearly choking me. “That’s why I don’t like to talk about it.”

  “What happened to make you store everything away?”

  For the first time, I found myself wanting to release the turmoil. To confide in Elle as a good friend would do. Would she judge me? Fear me? Well, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. I wanted her to, in my own sick and twisted way. But, how woul
d she take it, overall? To know that I was a man with dark needs that surpassed probably anything she’d ever heard of?

  The house sat up in the distance and I debated for the length of the ride whether or not I should come clean. She kept quiet, following me inside, allowing me space to gather my thoughts.

  As I sat on the sofa, she actually joined me.

  “How much to do you know about BDSM, Elle?”

  Color tinted her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. “Besides what you showed me on that cross? Some. I…read about it on the computer. Saw some pictures, too.”

  God, why did she have to mention that? I leaned back on the arm of the sofa, not wanting to miss a single reaction she made while we talked about this. “What if I told you it was more than the small sample I gave you? That I like to hurt people outside of the toys?”

  Her eyes rolled. “I already know that. You…” she paused. “Last time, on the bed, you wanted to grab my throat, but you stopped.”

  Had I? I hadn’t even realized it.

  “I like breath play,” I went on. “Amongst other things. Temperature play, being another.”

  “Did you ever make them cry?”

  I fought the smile that wanted to indulge in her innocence. “Yes. A lot of times. But they liked it. Sometimes women need that to release something inside of them.”

  She nodded, almost seeming to understand. “So, what happened that made you stop?”

  “You. Well, what I had blamed you for. I had too much anger when I imagined them as you. It was getting out of control. The pleasure was overpowered with the need to hurt. I didn’t like it. It wasn’t safe. But I told you all this before. I don’t think you quite understand how far I was willing to go to make my fantasy of you a reality.”

  She stiffened. “How long did you think of doing that to me?”

  “Years,” I admitted. “Too many.”

  “Do you still, even after what you’ve already done?”

  I nearly moaned. “I didn’t hurt you as bad as I wanted. Couldn’t. But, fuck yes, I still think about you that way. I’d show you how it’s really supposed to be. You’d love it, Elle.” The tension in the air sizzled and I sat up, moving closer. She sprung to her feet and edged back toward the hallway.

  “I should go.”

  The fear was back on her face and I stood, not letting it go this time. Enough was enough. She wanted me and by God, I was going to take what was mine.

  “Run.” A dark smile pulled at my lips. At my one word, she didn’t hesitate in spinning around and darting toward the hall. I was quick on her heels, my hand thrusting forward to stop the closing door as she tried to shut it.

  Each step brought her deeper into the room and she looked around wildly. “You’ve lost your mind.”

  “Over you, yes.” I lunged forward and she jumped to the side, still not able to escape my arm as it wrapped around her. We fell to the bed and I pressed into her, pinning her arms above her head. “No more running from this, Elle. I know you want me. Admit it.” I pushed my cock against her pussy and she moaned, arching beneath me. The clothes had to come off.

  “I don’t. We can’t.” Her breathy response wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

  “Who says we can’t? I want you. You want me. No one else fucking matters.” My hand slipped under her dress, latching on to the side of her panties. I jerked them down, throwing them to the floor as I let go of her hands and removed the jacket.

  “Gaige, this is trouble. You and I…” her head shook. “There’s too much history for a relationship to work.”

  My flannel shirt flew to the side at my toss and I jerked at the button on my jeans. Changing my mind, I went to her dress instead. “We won’t know that unless we try. I want to, Elle.” I pushed the straps off her shoulders and kissed my way down her chest, easing the material to her hips as I bit into the swell of her breast. The tension eased and she moved underneath me.

  A miracle allowed me to lift up to remove her dress completely and I took the time to kick off my jeans. “I’ve wanted you so much these last few weeks.” I spread her legs wide, not allowing her time to react as my tongue moved down her slit.

  “Gaige!” The top part of her body shot up and I pushed it back down, roughly.

  “Don’t…move.” I pushed into her entrance, once, twice, three times. As I traveled over her folds, I sucked them into my mouth, taking turns between grazing my teeth along the smooth surface.

  The rotation of her hips stalled as I made a circle around her clit, not making direct contact, but slightly brushing along the sensitive nub.

  “Oh…” Her head lifted and she reached for my hair. My hand had hers restrained to her sides before she even came close. A few flicks of my tongue caused her other to come around. She didn’t get the concept of me telling her no. Didn’t understand when I ordered her not to do something that disobeying came with consequences. It was time she learned.

  I let go of her hands and waited, testing what she would do. After a few seconds of me thrusting inside of her entrance, again, she lifted her hand. I slapped it, making her eyes widen.

  “No touching unless I say.”

  My finger pushed into her pussy and her lids grew heavy while she rocked at a pace all of her own. I could have gripped her hip and made her stop, but in time. I wasn’t ready for her to experience it all. Just a light taste to see how she responded to my commands.

  The quick flicks of my tongue over her clit were bringing her close. Tightening clutched my finger and I slid another in, stretching her while I increased the speed.

  “Gaige.” Her hands clutched the sheet, clawing at them the longer I held her off. So easily, I could have brought her over the edge, but I paused just before she was able to release. Something in me wanted Elle to see how much I cared about what I was giving her. To crave having me back between her legs, pleasuring her as only I could. And it would only be me. I’d make sure of it. No internet guy or Paul was going to come anywhere near my girl. I’d spent my adult life making it my mission to hate Elle, but now that I had her, the gears had reversed giving me a new view on what I could want, and that was to love her. I’d despised her with such passion that it had morphed into the complete opposite over the weeks. Longing, yearning to right my wrong at the beginning, left me desperate to win her over and I wasn’t going to stop now.

  I lifted, moving my mouth to her lower stomach, making her squirm from being left unsatisfied. The higher I got, the more she tried to push down. Her hard nipple brushed against my lips and I sucked it into my mouth, pulling at it with my teeth just before letting go.

  “You want me to fuck you. Say it.” I pushed my fingers back into her pussy and she cried out as I slammed them into her, rubbing her G-spot before caressing down her channel.

  “Yes, fuck me, Gaige. Please.”

  “Beg me more.” I repeated the action, adding my thumb to tease her clit.

  Elle opened her eyes. “Please, fuck me. I need you inside of me. Please.”

  “Not anywhere near good enough. When I say beg, you better mean it. Or you’ll wish you would have.” I worked my magic, leaving her panting and tears coming down her face as she stayed on the verge of release for nearly half an hour. Still I didn’t stop. I licked my lips as my free hand cautiously eased to cover her mouth. There was no telling how she would take my darker side, aside from the cross, but I had to give her a small dose. If not for her, for me. I had to know. “Now beg. If you can.” I moved to cover over her nose, too, and pushed down, cutting off all her air supply. Elle’s eyes got big for only a second before vibrations from her outburst tingled along my palm. My heart exploded and the heaviness I held inside eased. Fucking sank into the core of who I was and left me more sated than I could ever remember feeling. Why? Because I was getting to experience my passion with her. With the real Elle.

  My thrusts to her pussy increased as I felt my true self overpower the moment. I pulled back my hand, not making her endure the breath play for long. Just
enough to know what she was up against. And I waited. For her repulsion. Her disgust. I got nothing, but more begging.

  “Fuck me, Gaige.”

  The acceptance was too much for my patience. It showed me a future with possibilities. With compatibility. But most importantly, it showed me that she could enjoy what we shared. If only she’d consider continuing with it.

  I removed my fingers, easing the tip of my cock into her entrance, letting her stretch around the thickness.

  “Tell me why you’ve shut me out or I won’t go any further.”

  A sound between a moan and a sigh filled the room and she tried to wiggle. My hand was on her throat before I could stop myself. I swallowed hard, squeezing, just before releasing my grip. “Don’t move and tell me.” Her channel clenched and I fought to not slide in further.

  “I told you already. This isn’t right. Me and you? What would people think?”

  “Because you loved my brother?” I moved in a little more and she breathed deeply as she stared up at me.

  “Yes. And…he died, because of me.”

  Nothing could have held me back at her words. I slammed into her with everything I had, now seeing the truth more than I had ever let myself. “Wrong, sweetheart. He died for you, not because of you.” My hand settled back on her throat, but I didn’t apply pressure. My lips lowered to the tears that began to slide down toward the bed. As I kissed them away, I basked in the saltiness.

  “He loved you. You loved him. Ten years went by and everyone experienced hell. It’s time for something good to come out of that. Don’t you think?”

  I moved toward her mouth as she answered.

  “I do, but…”

  “There are no but’s about it, baby. If you don’t think this is right, we have more problems than what other people think, because,” I lifted, continuing to thrust, but not sure I could say what I wanted—what I knew in the depths of my soul, “I think I might—”

  Knocking had me turning around. Who the hell would be at my house? No one came by but Patricia and that was just for Elle.

  “Don’t move,” I said, pulling out and grabbing my pants. “I mean that. This isn’t over. Not even close.” I grabbed my shirt, sliding it over my head as I shut her door behind me. I entered the living room, reached down, and grabbed a gun that was holstered under my recliner. It didn’t matter what room I was in, there were at least two guns in each one.