Hatred

by M J Dees

  “No, and I don’t think you were.”

  “Let’s drop it for now. Do you have any drinks in your flat?”

  “Tea?”

  “With scotch?”

  “Annabel doesn’t drink.”

  “Of course not, she’s breastfeeding. She can’t drink so you can’t either, you poor soul.”

  “I don’t like scotch in my tea.”

  “That’s because you’re married. If you were single, you would try these things. When I’ve been with a woman, I’ve tried things like scotch without tea.”

  “Scotch without tea.”

  “Things like that. I’d break it off there and then, no matter how much pain it caused...” Tony became distracted by the window of a delicatessen they were passing. “I think I’ll just pop in here, but this is the last, I promise.”

  “One more thing, Tony,” Jim began when Tony emerged from the delicatessen.

  “Can you carry this?” Tony interrupted, handing Jim a package.

  “Olivia is very young,” said Jim, taking the package. “She can’t play with anything yet.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “In case you had the idea of running off to a toy shop.”

  “Do we pass a toy shop?”

  “I’ll run away,” Jim laughed.

  “Look at all these cars,” said Tony.

  “What about them?”

  “They’re all electric.”

  “So?”

  “Did you know you’re not even allowed to buy a petrol car anymore? It’s a goddamn liberty.”

  Jim said nothing.

  “And look at all these people.”

  “What people?”

  “Look at them, all around us.”

  “What about them?”

  “They’re all foreign.”

  “They’re tourists.”

  “Exactly, it’s cheap for them to come to the UK. The pound is practically worthless. But you try going abroad.”

  *

  “She’s beautiful,” said Tony, bending over the cot.

  “Takes after her mother,” said Annabel.

  “Takes after her mother,” Tony agreed.

  “Oh, Tony, you shouldn’t have,” said Annabel, as Tony began unpacking the presents. “Would you give me a hand, please Jim?”

  She led Jim through to the bedroom, where she could have a quiet word.

  “What did he say?” Annabel asked when they were alone.

  “Nothing, he just followed me home.”

  “You just met?”

  “I think he was waiting for me.”

  “It’s strange. What does he want?”

  “He thought a man in a grey coat was following him,” Jim shrugged.

  “Why?”

  “I thought it was the police, and he’s fallen out with Lisa, perhaps it’s that.”

  “He said nothing else? Do you think he wants to stay here? He can’t stay the night; we haven’t got a bed for him.”

  “He can’t stay, but if he doesn’t go...”

  “I’ll feed Olivia and, if you haven’t told him by the time I come back, I will.”

  “That’ll be fun,” Jim sighed.

  They went back into the living room.

  “This is the craziest flat I’ve ever seen, Annabel. You should get the Luddites onto your case, deprivation is illegal now, you know. I’m amazed the council allows it.”

  “They don’t,” said Jim. “We live here unofficially.”

  “Unofficially?”

  “Yes, the only person who knows we live here is the man who rented us the rooms. Officially, we live with him.”

  “So, nobody knows you live here, not even the police?”

  “Nobody.”

  “Good,” said Tony, deep in thought. “Very good.”

  “I have to feed the baby now,” said Annabel.

  “Good,” said Tony. “Don’t let me get in your way. Then, let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted. While you’re doing that, I’ll make the sofa into a bed with cushions and chairs.”

  Annabel and Jim exchanged glances. Jim tried to shrug without Tony noticing. Annabel sighed and took Olivia into the bedroom, where the infant started screaming. Tony followed her.

  “May I watch?” he asked. “I’ve never seen a nappy changed before.”

  “It doesn’t smell very nice,” she warned.

  “I don’t mind. I was in the Army. Nothing I saw ever took my appetite away. What’s that you’re putting on her bottom?”

  “Cream.”

  “Why?”

  “So she doesn’t get sore,” she said, fastening up the new nappy. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to feed her.”

  “Oh, that’s right, you breastfeed.”

  Tony returned to the living room. Olivia stopped crying.

  “I did everything wrong,” Tony confessed to Jim. “The simple things.”

  They sat in silence for a while, then Jim announced he would get Tony some sheets, which he did, and then made his excuses to join Annabel in bed.

  The next morning Jim had to leave for work before Tony was awake, and when he returned to the flat, he was still there. Jim made an excuse to talk to Annabel in the bedroom.

  “How has he been?” Jim asked.

  “Very nice. In the morning he was very nervous and kept talking about wanting you to fetch his things.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I said he’d have to ask you.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He just growled and then he kept going down and up the ladder. After a while, he settled down and started entertaining Olivia. This afternoon he left.”

  “He must have got over what was worrying him.”

  “He returned with his cases and has been happy as a lark ever since. Going through his stuff and ripping papers up into small pieces, the recycling bin is almost full. Then he made a discovery.”

  “A discovery?”

  “He was complaining about Olivia crying and wanted me to feed her, even though it wasn’t time. Then he wanted me to let him take her out in the pram.”

  “You didn’t.”

  “I didn’t. You know that old alarm clock you won’t let me use because you say the ticking drives you mad?”

  “Yes?”

  “He found it and wound it up and stuck it next to Olivia’s head. At first it made no difference but then when she drew breath she must have heard the tick tock because the next time she drew breath, she paused for longer and then she started experimenting, crying and stopping, crying and stopping, and then she just stopped and listened to the clock.”

  “It worked?”

  “Are you trying out my discovery?” Tony shouted from the living room. “Is it still working?”

  “Seems to be,” Jim shouted back.

  “How’s it going, Annabel? Does Jim know about our plan yet?”

  “Not yet. Jim, Tony is inviting us for a night out.”

  “When? How are we going to find a babysitter?”

  Tony’s flip rang.

  “Uncle Andrew!” He answered with enthusiasm before turning to Jim and Annabel to apologise. “Excuse me for a moment.”

  Annabel and Jim tried not to listen in to the conversation, which began in a jovial tone and turned more and more serious.

  “I’m afraid I cannot take you out,” Tony apologised when the call had ended. “I have to see Uncle Andrew.”

  “Is everything okay?” Annabel asked.

  “Yes, yes, I must go to see Uncle Andrew,” and with that, he was off.

  “I’ve got a terrible feeling about this,” said Annabel.

  *

  At five past three in the morning, Olivia started crying.

  “She’s crying,” said Annabel.

  “I know,” said Jim.

  “She doesn’t normally cry at this time.”

  “She might stop in a minute.”

  “It’s a different cry. She sounds in pain. Perhaps she’s got a stomach-ach
e.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I could give her some medicine.”

  “Okay, why don’t you do that then?”

  As soon as Annabel switched the light on, they could see that Olivia was red. She picked her up at once, and Olivia calmed down.

  “There, she only wanted to be picked up,” said Jim, going to find the medicine.

  Annabel didn’t reply. She just walked backwards and forwards with Olivia, singing her a lullaby.

  “Here you go,” said Jim. “I’ll let you give it to her.”

  “Hold her,” said Annabel.

  Jim walked up and down with Olivia, humming what he hoped sounded like a lullaby.

  Annabel fed Olivia the medicine from a spoon.

  “There you go,” said Jim, setting Olivia back in the cot. “She’s settled now. It’s almost four.”

  They got into bed, turned the lights out, and tried to get back to sleep. At five past four, just as they were nodding off, Olivia started crying again.

  “There you go,” said Jim in frustration.

  Annabel said nothing.

  “How am I going to work tomorrow?” Jim continued.

  “Don’t you think she seemed a little hot?” Annabel ventured.

  “I don’t know.”

  “She had such red cheeks.”

  “That’s from crying.”

  “She might be ill.”

  “Put the light on then.”

  Annabel switched on the light and picked up Olivia. She calmed down straight away.

  “There you are,” said Jim. “If she was in pain, it wouldn’t stop the moment you picked her up.”

  “Feel her hands, they’re so hot.”

  “They’re hot because she’s been screaming.”

  “Why don’t we have a thermometer?”

  “I meant to buy one, but it’s just another expense.”

  “She’s got a fever?”

  “Shall we give her more medicine?”

  “We can’t, it’s only every four hours.”

  “She’s just doing it for you to carry her. Put her down, you’ll see.”

  Annabel set Olivia in the cot and the baby started crying straight away.

  “There you are. Now pick her up, she’ll stop.”

  Annabel picked her up, but Olivia continued to cry.

  “You’ve spoiled her. Now what does she want?”

  “She’s in pain. Go back to bed; maybe you can still get some more sleep.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, please. I’ll be much calmer myself if you get some rest.”

  “Okay, I’ll try but wake me if there are any developments.”

  Jim couldn’t get to sleep and Olivia didn’t stop crying, so they took it in turns to lie down and to hold her.

  Sometimes the crying would diminish to a whimper, but then it would build up again.

  “This is impossible,” said Jim. “I’ll call the health service.”

  “But we don’t have insurance. The health service won’t send someone out at six in the morning. And we’re not meant to be living here.”

  Outside the window, the sky brightened. Dawn was approaching.

  “We have to take her to A&E,” said Annabel. “I’ll wait there while you go to work, get ready.”

  When Jim had showered and dressed, he held Olivia so that Annabel could get ready.

  When they arrived, the A&E department was already full. It was twenty minutes before the screen called them to the triage room. Twenty minutes more and a doctor, who took Olivia’s temperature again, examined her skin and then her mouth.

  “There’s your culprit,” said the doctor, pointing inside Olivia’s mouth.

  Annabel stooped closer to see, and there, poking out of the gum, was the tiniest of teeth.

  “Already?” Annabel gasped.

  “Just keep giving her paracetamol or ibuprofen, she’ll be fine.”

  Annabel thanked the doctor and took Olivia back through to the waiting room to give Jim the news.

  “Her first tooth,” Jim mused. “How many will she get altogether?”

  “About twenty.”

  “Let’s get you home,” said Jim, trying not to think about twenty sleepless nights. “I need to get to work.”

  *

  Annabel was having lunch when she heard Beggum shouting outside. He sounded like he was having an argument with a woman. Annabel thought the woman’s voice sounded familiar.

  “Jim? Annabel?” Beggum’s voice came from the foot of the ladder.

  Annabel went to have a look and there, stood next to Beggum, she saw Jim’s sister.

  “This girl wants to see you,” Beggum shouted up the stairs before turning on his heels and disappearing.

  “Jim’s not here,” Annabel shouted down the ladder.

  “Are you going to shout at me from up there, or are you going to tell me how to get up there?”

  “The ladder in front of you.”

  “Is that the only way?”

  “The only way.”

  “I don’t know why you wanted to move out of my flat?”

  Jim’s sister climbed the ladder while Annabel sent Jim a quick text.

  “Do you live here?” she asked when she got to the top.

  “Through here,” Annabel led her through to the flat. “Let me take your coat.”

  “No, I’m not stopping. I don’t feel like socialising after the way you treated me.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  “I’m not. I’ll not say any more about it. It was very thoughtless of you to leave me in the lurch like that, with no help in the house, and you’ve got yourself a baby.”

  “Yes, she’s called Olivia.”

  “Well, it’s your choice, bringing a child into the world with no prospects. It’s the fault of the boycotters, what does it matter if they’re a multinational or not?”

  Lisa walked over to the cot and glared at Olivia.

  “Is it a boy or a girl?”

  “A girl. Olivia.”

  “It’s no use sulking with me,” said Lisa, unzipping her coat and sitting down. “I’m just speaking my mind. When’s Tony coming?”

  Annabel looked shocked.

  “I can find out anything,” Lisa smirked. “I found your little hidey hole here. I know everything. When is Tony coming?”

  “Tony stayed here several weeks ago, he hasn’t been back since.”

  “So, where is he now?”

  Annabel shrugged.

  Lisa raised one eyebrow and then removed her coat.

  “How much does he pay you to keep your mouth shut?” she asked.

  Annabel didn’t want to answer such a question.

  “I’ll send the police round,” Lisa warned. “They’ll get it out of you. I don’t suppose Tony told you he’s on their wanted list. You’ll see what trouble he’s got you into. He gets everyone into trouble. Look at me.”

  “I haven’t seen Tony for several weeks,” Annabel repeated.

  “Annabel, if you know where he is, please tell me. Annabel, please tell me.”

  “I don’t know.”

  There was a lengthy silence, in which Lisa stared at Annabel.

  “Okay, I believe you,” she said at last. “You say he only stayed here two nights?”

  “I think it was only one.”

  “What did he say about me? Did he say terrible things?”

  “He didn’t speak about you at all.”

  “Oh. Not a word?”

  Lisa took another look at Olivia.

  “Your daughter is pretty. Can she talk yet?”

  “At three months?”

  “Don’t they talk at that age? I’ve forgotten all about it. I never...”

  Lisa paused as she appeared to stare into space, a rage welling up inside her.

  “There!” she said, pointing to Tony’s cases sat, forgotten, in the corner. “I know those cases, they’re Tony’s. You liar. And I believed you. Where is he? He’s taken yo
u for himself. Those are my cases, he owes me hundreds, thousands.”

  Lisa went to take the cases.

  “He left the cases behind,” said Annabel.

  Olivia started crying.

  “Leave those alone,” Annabel shouted.

  “They’re my cases.”

  Annabel picked up Olivia and tried to calm her.

  “Leave the cases, they don’t belong to you, they have to stay here.”

  Annabel started humming a lullaby to Olivia.

  “Leave the cases alone,” she repeated.

  “He’ll be pleased when he gets back,” said Lisa. “Ah, there he is now.”

  But it wasn’t Tony, it was Jim who entered.

  “What’s going on here?” he asked as he entered.

  “She wants to take Tony’s cases, she says they’re hers, she says he owes her money,” said Annabel.

  “The cases stay here,” said Jim.

  “I knew it,” Lisa snapped. “I knew you would stand up for your wife.”

  “It’s time for you to go,” Jim told his sister.

  “I’ll tell the police about you.”

  “Bye-bye sis.”

  The door slammed, and Annabel and Jim listened to her footsteps on the ladder.

  Annabel fed Olivia.

  “I wonder if she will send the police,” Jim mused. “What happened?”

  “I think the police are after Tony. But if that’s true, I think your sister is implicated and she won’t send them. They would have been here already.”

  When Olivia had fed, Annabel made them dinner, and no police came.

  “She was blaming the boycotters for the state of the economy.”

  “She has a point, boycotting the multinationals has certainly had an effect.”

  *

  The Chancellor had summoned Jim to her office. He knew what it meant. The end-of-year results had come in, and Jim’s students hadn’t performed as well as expected. How were they supposed to perform? Most of them had part-time jobs to deal with the costs of being a student.

  “Ah, Jim,” the chancellor said as he entered her office. “I think you know why you are here.”

  Jim took a seat.

  “Please sit down,” she continued. “We both know I only gave you this opportunity in deference to your father, and I’m afraid it hasn’t worked out. I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavours.”

  With that, she continued to look at the paperwork in front of her. After a moment, when Jim hadn’t left, she looked up.

  “That will be all.”

  “Is that it?”