Facilitated more communication among family members
Learned how to design and make floor cloths
Took a trip with my ex-sister-in-law to Costa Rica
Took up yoga
Worked on nurturing friendships with other empty-nesters
Joined a movie-going club
Made a more concerted effort to say yes instead of no
Sewed 18 pink “pussy hats” to support the National Women’s March
Became an ESL tutor
Visited ex-sister-in-law at her house near the bay
Let go of resentments toward family members
Took more advantage of things
Allowed my friend to convince me to do an eyebrow makeover (and then returned to my regular brows)
Adopted more kittens
Edited a book
Took piano lessons
Used city bikes to get around Boston and other cities
Started rewarding myself with professional therapeutic massages
Joined a gym
Wore more fashionable low-rise undies with my low-rise jeans
Traveled alone to the U.K.
Started writing newsletters about my cancer treatment to keep my loved ones up to date
Joined a support group for women with cancer
Did a zip line over the treetops, despite my fear
Tried pot brownies (and promptly fell asleep)
Wore my pajamas to take someone to the train station without caring about the reactions of others
Celebrated my 50th birthday in the Caribbean with my three best friends
Sold clothing on consignment websites
Learned how to ask for help
Came to terms with my body as it is, rather than wishing it were thinner
Finishing my degree for myself, not for other people
Visited Machu Picchu
Learned to say what I want
Gave myself permission to nap when tired
Learned to accept compliments
Learned to believe such compliments were true
Let go of some of the worry about my children
Took more long, luxurious bubble baths
Hitchhiked!
Did a woo-woo spiritual dance class that was outside my comfort zone
Experimented with new recipes
Took a tiny prop plane to an island
Did some kayaking
Enjoyed the simple pleasure of gardening
Paid more attention to being grateful, especially for the wonderful doctors and nurses at Dana Farber
Allowed myself to be adopted by a church group, even though I don’t believe in religion
Learned to stay hopeful even when cancer lives in my body, and to make the most of each day that I have here
Sandy Thackston’s List of 60 After 60
Learned how to be comfortable in solitude
Caught myself in denial about certain things in my life and let myself see things clearly
Learned to practice self-care
Learned to address my codependence
Did a sugar cleanse
Took up painting again
Got some painful but necessary dental work done that I had dreaded and put off for a long time
Got myself back into the gym
Got honest about painful things in my life
Started working on my own problems instead of deflecting by focusing on other people’s problems
Allowed myself to be pampered at a spa
Started to get rid of stuff in my house that I no longer need
Marched in the National Women’s March
Campaigned for a presidential candidate I believe in
Campaigned in another state for a presidential candidate
Joined a women’s group to do what I can to combat the inequality and bigotry the current president espouses
Sold things on Craigslist
Coauthored an article about “Bethesda rednecks”
Started a salon for the exchange of ideas
Allowed other women to bear witness to my pain
Gave up smoking
Gave up vaping
Wore “wing” eyeliner even though my daughter poked fun at me for doing so
Successfully lost weight
Visited the new National Museum for African American History and Culture
Helped many women who are trying to get sober
Helped my daughter learn how to do real estate closings
House trained my dog
Detached from people who are not serious about their sobriety
Evaluated what I want my life to look like in five years and made changes necessary to make it that way
Reclaimed my attic office that had become overstuffed with storage items
Learned about LGBT issues by listening to my friends’ LGBT radio program
Started gardening
Became a confirmation sponsor
Learned how to stay alone and not be afraid
Finally realized that I deserve more
Dealt with my sugar addiction
Gave up soda
Curtailed my buying habits
Read more books
Became more politically active and aware
Separated myself from toxic people
Started cooking meals just for myself
Gave up social media for Lent
Had a yard sale and gave away a lot of things I no longer need
Took a reflection retreat for a week by myself to my friend’s house near the water
Celebrated my 60th birthday in grand style with my daughters, a fancy hotel suite, and a limo
Donated to charity a lot of things I have not used in years
Practiced tough love on a relative who violated our house rules
Had a long-overdue discussion with a family member about unacceptable behavior
Dwelled on gratitude for small blessings, like my high-pressure shower head that is so much better than the water-saving one my father made us use when I was growing up
Got better at accepting compliments without protesting
Took up walking for exercise
Learned how to unplug after a certain time each night
Worked on saying no more often
Spoke my truth
Asked for help when I needed it
Worked with women dedicated to their recovery
Shed relationships with women who were not dedicated to their recovery
Researched other possibilities for my career path
More Things I Would Like to Experience in the Years Ahead
Give a TedTalk
Take a lifesaving course
Go to an ashram
Go on a silent retreat
Learn how to do a handstand (not strong enough to do so, yet!)
See the Northern Lights
Go to Angkor Wat in Cambodia
Take a cooking course in Italy with my best friend
Rent a house in Tuscany
Live abroad
Take a boat safety course
Visit Mauritius, the Canary Islands, Portugal, Prague, Istanbul, Tibet, Belize, the Grenadines, Banff, the Maldives, Egypt, Bora Bora, Anguilla, Barcelona, Antarctica, Virgin Gorda, the Seychelles, Mallorca and Petra, Jordan
Attend an Asian lantern festival and release a lantern into the sky
See a moose in the wild (believe me, I have tried!)
Experience the community at a Burning Man festival in the California desert
Paint a huge canvas, bigge
r than myself
Be a guest on the Today Show
Go to a Rolling Stones concert
Tour the United States in a recreational vehicle
Listen more often than talk
Get my scuba certification
Hear the Dalai Lama speak
Try an Omega retreat and one at Kripalu and Shambhala Mountain Center
Retire somewhere warm
Become proficient at another language
Revisit the children’s library I helped to build in the poorest region of Nepal
Beat my sugar addiction
Tap maple syrup from a tree
Stare up at the tall trees of the Redwood forest
Make a soufflé
Go sand skiing
Visit the 14 states I have not yet spent any time in
Host grandparent camp for my grandchildren (if I am lucky enough to have grandchildren!)
Drive a snowmobile
Try snowboarding
Learn how to paint believable-looking clouds and water
Visit the largest living tortoises in the Galapagos Islands (Ecuador)
Spend some time in the town reputed to be the happiest place in America: San Luis Obispo, California (according to author and National Geographic lecturer Dan Buettner)
Learn calligraphy
Ride on a camel
Watch the wild pony migration in Assateague, Maryland
Successfully propagate succulent plants
Ride on Pacific Coast Highway 1 between Los Angeles and San Francisco on a motorcycle
Stay in a yurt in Big Sur
Create something beautiful out of glass mosaic
See Niagara Falls from the Canadian side
Write a 60 After 60 book, and continue the series for other decades
Watch my former foster son graduate from college and do what I can to help him get there
Complete a long-term volunteer project (possibly the Peace Corps)
Grow my own vegetables
Be more intentional about anything I purchase. Consider whether it is a want or a need.
Learn how to eat slowly and put my fork down between every bite, savoring the flavors
Participate in the Holi Festival of Colors (a Hindu color festival involving the throwing of colored powder in a joyful celebration and/or color run)
Learn how to belly dance
Learn how to play a guitar
Find lost relatives
Experience zero gravity
Participate in a flash mob dance
Have no regrets
Stay open to more possibilities and viewpoints
Practice self-care
Try hang-gliding
Float in the Dead Sea
Successfully be able to do the crow and other challenging positions in yoga
Learn more about Judaism and incorporate Shabbat practice into my life
Go sky diving from an airplane
Meander through the dramatic slot canyons of Antelope Canyon on Navajo land in Arizona
Bake fresh bread from scratch
Try riding on a luge sled
Ride an ATV
Let my children learn from their mistakes instead of trying to continually make things easier for them
Become more immersed in Buddhist principles
Check my ego and intentions more often
Find more ways to be of service to others
Let more days unfold without a plan
Be more present
Other Things I Have Done Before Turning 50 That I Highly Recommend if You Haven’t Tried These Already
Have a dialogue with someone very different from yourself (for example, from another culture, political persuasion, nonconforming gender) and listen with an open mind to their point of view. See if you can find common ground.
Mentor and/or foster someone
Scuba (even a resort/discovery dive)
Bike in Provence or in the California wine country
Visit the Taj Mahal at dawn, before the crowds arrive
Go whitewater rafting
Go inner tubing down a lazy river
View the Alaskan glaciers
Try stand-up paddle-boarding
Schedule in play time; do something completely frivolous
Give away things you have not used in the last year
Go to a planetarium or gaze through a powerful telescope at the stars and planets
Try surfing
Build a life-sized sand sculpture
Experience the energy of a Bruce Springsteen concert (or of any musician whose music you love). I recommend Bruce Springsteen because I have never seen an artist push himself or herself so long in concert.
Watch movies outdoors
Go parasailing
Jump on a trampoline
Visit caverns (like Luray Caverns) and marvel at the stalactites and stalagmites
Spend time with puppies and kittens
Feel the resonant organ music in one of the world’s great cathedrals
Go kayaking
Pay it forward in some way, anonymously
Roast marshmallows or some other food on an open fire
Try fly-fishing
Hold a baby. Breathe in deeply when you do. There is nothing like the smell of a baby.
Treat yourself to a massage, especially a foot massage
Try a new type of art
Watch a child see a sparkler for the first time
Marvel at Michelangelo’s artwork on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican
Sleep under the stars
Enjoy sunset on a beach (as many as you can!)
Play with baby animals
Forgive
Fall asleep or just rest in a hammock
Go cross-country skiing
Go snowshoeing
Stand up for someone who lacks the courage or ability to do so
Serve in a soup kitchen or another charitable endeavor
Read to those who cannot do so
Try downhill skiing
Go water skiing
Fly across the water on a jet ski
Ride in a horse-drawn carriage
Do some hula hooping
Try the flying trapeze
Watch the wildebeest migration across Ngorongoro crater
Meet some tribal people, like the Masai
Swim under a waterfall
Learn a new dance, like the tango, jitterbug, salsa, or samba. Go ballroom dancing.
Learn how to play an instrument
Marvel at the enormity of the Grand Canyon
See a Broadway show
Reread a classic piece of literature (I love how it seems different as I age. I laughed out loud as an adult when I reread The Catcher in the Rye.)
Take in the spirituality of a Buddhist temple
Experience life in another country or culture that differs from yours
Lend your company to someone who is sick and/or lonely
Get outside of your comfort zone
Ride in a hot air balloon
Go snorkeling
Watch a glass-blower practice his craft
Ride an elephant
Walk the Highline elevated park in Manhattan
Travel to an underserved or poverty-stricken area. See what you can do to help.
Visit a nursing home and listen to some of the residents
Allow yourself to have an appointment with a therapist. Talk about something you have never shared before with anyone.
Visit the Louvre Museum in Paris
and any other great museums of the world
Sail
Clean out your abode and give things away, recycle or discard them so that when you die, no one else has to do it
Go ice skating, roller blading, or roller skating
Lie in the grass, listen to the sounds around you and look at the clouds
Watch a living creature hatch from an egg
Attend an opera, symphony, and at least one ballet performance
Visit our country’s National Parks
Try glamping
Eat something fresh from a garden
Go canoeing
Let a day unfold with no plans whatsoever
Make something with your hands
Go to Jazzfest in New Orleans (less crazy than Mardi Gras, with great music and food)
Swim with dolphins
Hand write an old-fashioned thank-you letter to someone you appreciate, like a former teacher, a good friend, or a family member
Watch hummingbirds, butterflies, and woodpeckers do their thing
Disconnect from all electronics for a period of time
Relax in a natural hot spring
Pick up trash whenever you take a walk. Think of it as a random act of kindness toward others and Mother Earth
Plant a garden
Try geocaching
Go on a retreat, whether organized by others or just to be away from your routine
Listen to someone much older than yourself describe what his or her life used to be like and the changes he or she has seen in his or her lifetime
Take a ride in a helicopter and/or a propeller plane
Sleep on a boat and let gentle waves rock you to sleep
Hike up a mountain or hill, or through a forest
Try a ropes course and/or ziplining
Quit taking it personally (“Q.T.I.P.”)
Go to comedy shows, especially improv
Ride on a moped, scooter, or minibike
Walk or run a 5k, 10k, or marathon
Go mountain biking
Adopt or foster an animal that needs a home (if there is a kitten café anywhere near you, it is fun to watch the cats while you eat or drink to see which feline may be a good fit for you), and bring that animal, if possible, to visit animal lovers who cannot keep pets where they are living
Make peace with your childhood, lest it continue to affect your present life, even unconsciously
Check out a curated storytelling event (like The Moth or Story-league)
Make a vision board of what you want your life to look like
Draft a mission statement for your life. Reevaluate your current circumstances and decide whether you would like to change anything.
50 After 50 Page 21
