Wanting It

by Scarlet Wilder

  She’d gone on for long enough. This whole thing had gone on for long enough. I simply knelt down, scooped her legs up from underneath her and slung her over my shoulder in a fireman’s lift. “Put me down!” she squealed.

  “Quiet,” I instructed her. “This has gone far enough.”

  “No!” she cried. “Jake Matthews, put me down right now! I hate you! I hate you!”

  She pummeled my back with both fists but I wasn’t about to give in. She needed to hear some home truths. While the guests looked on, curiously, I paused. “Do you need to scream for help?” I asked her. “Now’s your time!”

  But she didn’t. She continued to attack my back with both fists, but she didn’t scream for help. I’d called her bluff, and I was right. I marched to my villa with her hanging over my shoulder, I opened the door, walked into my bedroom, and then put her down on the bed. She sat there, scowling at me.

  “Who do you think you are?” she cried, her dark eyes flashing with rage. “How dare you!”

  I leaned over the bed, my fists pressing into the mattress, my nose inches from hers. “So why didn’t you cry for help?” I asked. “I gave you the chance.”

  She said nothing.

  “You didn’t cry for help because you don’t need rescuing from me,” I said. “You don’t want to be rescued from me. You want me. You know you do. And I want you. So why do we keep doing this to each other? Why do you keep pushing me away?”

  “Even if I thought we could have a conversation,” she sniffed, “you’re right there with a new conquest on the go! And not just one, either!”

  “You’re talking shit,” I said to her, simply. I don’t think she’d ever been spoken too with such honest confrontation before, because her mouth fell open. “The girls wanted to spend time with me, you’re right. But when you saw me, I’d already turned them down. Because I only came here for one woman and it’s the one sitting in front of me now, sniffing like a little brat when I know she wants me, too.”

  “You’re wrong,” Nikki said, her lip quivering. I held her chin, kissed her deeply on the lips, and pulled away.

  “Say that again,” I whispered.

  But she said nothing. So I kissed her again, and this time she kissed me back, and all her petulance, her foolishness, her immaturity, melted away. We were back in Hawaii, the heat was back, and we were once again in a hotel room, hungry for each other.

  I lifted her dress up, my hands on her ass feeling its familiar curve, and I groaned into her mouth. She moaned in response, and there was going to be no other outcome. I was going to have her, finally, and she wasn’t going to push me away any longer.

  The dress slipped over her head easily, and the white bra she wore stayed on barely another second. She tugged at my swimming shorts, grains of sand from the beach scattering out like confetti, anointing the bed, but neither of us cared.

  Her nipple tasted like heaven in my mouth, and my tongue drew patterns of desire all over her breasts, her stomach, down to the space between her thighs that was as wet and delicious as it ever was. She gave loud cries and sobs, as I adored her with my mouth, moving her hips to give me more of her. She soaked my beard, and when I came back up to her lips, I gave her the taste of herself on her tongue as I entered her.

  She clung to me, digging her nails into my back and grabbing my ass to push me even deeper into her. In barely a minute, she was panting heavily, her groans getting deeper as I moved inside her faster, until she gave one huge, glorious moan and fell back onto the bed.

  I took that as permission to release the months of frustration I’d spent without her, and I came inside her so deeply I was sure I’d disappear completely.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  NIKKI

  †

  IT SHOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED. I shouldn’t have given in. How could I have been so weak? But, how could I have resisted him, really?

  When I got his text that morning, asking me to go to the beach with him, I refused, hoping he’d come knocking on my door. He didn’t. So, when I went to search for him and saw him with those two pathetic, giggling bimbos who were vying for his attention, I didn’t know who I was more angry at.

  Him, I decided in the end. I was angry with Jake for making a fool out of me.

  Or, so I thought. As he scooped me up in front of everyone, I realized that he could have done the same with either or both of those girls, but he didn’t. He took only me to his villa, locking us in and putting me onto the bed like a caveman presenting his kill.

  But, I didn’t care. I couldn’t fight anymore, because he was right. I wanted him. Just him, and nobody and nothing else.

  When he put his hands on my body I was sure I was going to faint, but I wanted to stay awake because I didn’t want to miss a single second. He pulled my dress off and underneath I wore the bra and panties I’d bought for the holiday, on the off chance that maybe some other guy would get to see them when really, the only eyes I wanted on them, were Jake’s.

  Not that he spent much time looking at me in them, of course. The bra was off in a flash and the panties quickly followed suit. He replaced the panties with his mouth, his beautiful lips and tongue working their magic, and I was back to being in a sultry Hawaiian room with Jake Matthews pleasuring me in ways I can hardly describe. But, still I felt empty, vacant, and I needed him to fill me.

  That first time lasted barely a few minutes, but the time after that, we made sure we took things more slowly. I thought I might have forgotten what to do, because it had been so long, and there had been no other man since Jake. But, when he first held me against him, and I felt his chest, his jaw, his stomach, and further down, it was as though I’d never been away from him.

  I hadn’t realized that all those nights I’d been dreaming about him, thinking about him, and crying over him, I’d replayed our time together over and over in my head so often I’d memorized every single inch of his body.

  In his arms, I weighed nothing more than a feather, and I was more beautiful than any woman could ever imagine being. He stroked my back, my breasts, my thighs and, even though my orgasm had crashed through my body with such intensity I was sure I’d have to wait a month before having sex again, within moments I was aroused once more, and I craved him with the same intensity as ever.

  That night, as we lay naked in the bed, our limbs entwined around one another, I thought once more about a future with Jake. I wanted it so much. But, as he slept silently beside me, the doubts came niggling back into my mind. I lay on my back, tears rolling down the sides of my face so that it literally collected inside my ears.

  I’d only just begun to get over him, or, at least, I could tell myself that I was working on it. But, I was heading home in a couple of days, and then what? I’d go back to my life in the office, designing buildings and trying to forge a path for myself, and Jake would take another assignment in a far-flung place, and be out of my life until the next time rolled around.

  He was never going to settle down. I knew it. And the thought of the two girls on the beach, flirting with him and wanting him in their beds, was something I was going to see in my mind’s eye every time he left the country to go wade through swamps and climb mountains and do the crazy things that adventurers like Jake do. It’s in their blood. And there’d be a girl in every port. I was nothing special.

  I slipped out of the bed early in the morning and left him without him knowing. It might have been a shitty thing to do, and I guess there was a small, petty part of me that wanted him to know what it felt like. But, then again, I was sure I wasn’t the first girl to be left with only a note.

  I thought about leaving him some words on a piece of yellow paper but decided against it. Instead, I went back to my room and sat on my bed. I looked at my watch. It was just after five, which meant it was around ten o’clock in Omaha. I knew Mia would be at work. I picked up the phone and called her office.

  “Hey!” she said when she heard my voice. “How are things in paradise?”

&nb
sp; “They’re okay, I guess,” I said.

  “Oh,” she replied, and I could hear the caution in her voice. “How come they’re only okay? Haven’t you met anyone out there yet?”

  “Like who?” I asked.

  “Erm, well, maybe someone tall and handsome with the kind of body you only ever see in a club where women are putting twenties in their G-strings?”

  “I know you told him, Mia.”

  “Oh.” She was quiet for a moment, and then she spoke again. “Didn’t go well, huh?”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” I groaned, lying back on the bed and holding the receiver to my ear. “In some ways, it was exactly what I wanted. I was getting harassed by some creep and then suddenly, there he was, doing what he does best. Rescuing me and being so goddamn perfect. And he took me to his room, and I’ve just come back from being there all night, and…”

  I trailed off, and Mia practically yelled at me. “Don’t stop there!” she said. “I want all the smutty details, dammit! Don’t judge. I’m going through the dry spell here, honey, so just let me live vicariously through your life for a second, would you?”

  “You’re worse than my mom,” I said, smiling. “You’d think that there are some things in a girl’s life that are private, but, oh no.”

  “If you have a man that looks like that, well, I’m afraid we have to ask,” Mia said. “It’s the only way we can have a little taste, you know? We’re not all as lucky as you are.”

  “Am I lucky, though?” I asked her, and I began to relay all my fears, the thoughts that had been coursing through my brain for hours while Jake slept.

  Mia listened because it was her job as a best friend. But, as all best friends do, she wasn’t about to tell me only what I wanted to hear. Instead, she began to give me a stern talking-to.

  “For the love of God, Nik,” she said when I was done explaining what was worrying me. “You were the one who turned him down yesterday, and then he went and got an offer of a threesome with two girls. But, he turns it down because he wants to be with you, and you’re worried about a couple of magazine assignments? Honey, if a blonde and a redhead giving him a free pass isn’t going to turn his head, then some woman in Mongolia, who only exists in your head, isn’t going to make him stray, either.”

  “But you and Mom were the ones telling me that he’s a free spirit,” I protested. “It was pretty much in this exact place that you guys were drying my tears and telling me that I’m never going to get his number and he’s always going to run before we have an emotional airport-goodbye.”

  “Your mom was the one who said that and I didn’t answer her,” Mia said. “And, I don’t know what the answer is now, either. But, Nikki, the guy came over to your apartment and begged me to tell him where you were. He didn’t hesitate to fly all the way over there and tell you exactly what he came to the apartment to tell you. I could have told him you were in the Australian outback and he would have done exactly the same thing. Doesn’t that mean something to you?”

  “I know,” I said, softly. “I just know it hurt so much the last time, I don’t know if I’m brave enough to go on knowing that every minute I spend with him, the more I want to be with him.”

  “Then you need to leave,” Mia said, simply. “If you’re too scared to see where it’s going to go, then leave now. Don’t find out. But, I think you’re making a big mistake. Because nobody knows how these things are going to go when they first get involved. If we knew in advance, then we’d never know what it was like to take a chance on love. The feeling of being with the person you love outweighs every risk there might be that it might not work out.”

  “Do I love him?” I asked.

  “I’ve never been more convinced of anything,” Mia said dryly.

  “Shit,” I said. “It’s terrifying.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  JAKE

  †

  WHEN I WOKE UP, I needed water. We’d worked up such a sweat between us, that I was dehydrated beyond belief.

  “Babe, can you pass me a glass of water, please?” I asked, groggily, but there was no reply. It meant I had to open my eyes and roll over. Nikki wasn’t in the bed.

  I reached over for my watch. It was a little after ten in the morning. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, then moved the thin sheet away from my body and scanned the room. Her dress was gone, and so was her underwear. I got up and walked to the bathroom, but when I pushed the door open, I saw it was empty.

  Was she punishing me? I didn’t know. I pulled on my swim shorts and a t-shirt, pushing my feet into a pair of thongs and headed out of the door. I jogged over to her villa and my heart sank when I saw that housekeeping was already busy in the room, their cart standing outside the front door.

  “Where is she?” I asked.

  The cleaner turned around. “The lady checked out earlier, Sir.”

  Fuck!

  I didn’t have the motorcycle with me this time, either. I wasn’t planning on spending too much time away from the resort. I ran back to the villa, grabbed my keys, wallet, and phone, but didn’t bother to put on any more clothes.

  Then I ran to the reception desk and asked how long Nikki had been gone. It turned out I was only thirty minutes behind her. I could still make it to the airport. The guy on the desk seemed to understand my plight, and he threw me his keys. “Go for it! Just bring her back in one piece,” he said.

  The bike wasn’t as powerful as the one I’d rented last time, but it was good enough. It meant that I could weave in and out of traffic rather than having to wait too long at the traffic lights. I revved the engine as fast as I could and raced to the airport before running inside and searching for the departure list.

  There was a flight to Dallas leaving in two hours’ time. That must be her flight. I searched all over for her, knowing that she’d have to drop her luggage off at the check-in desk. If she’d already gone through security, I’d have no chance of catching her without a boarding pass, and no matter what the movies show, it’s not easy to just walk up to a desk and get a ticket to any old place. Besides, I didn’t bring my passport.

  I ran up the stairs to the food-court area where she might have been getting breakfast or a coffee. There was no sign of her. I ran back downstairs, stopping halfway so that I could look out over the sea of heads, from where I tried to spot her.

  And, there she was.

  I could see her dark hair, the purse over her shoulder, the cream dress she’d been wearing the night before. Of course, at that very moment, the Brady Bunch family of nine decided to come up the steps, blocking my way down. But, I pushed through them with a loud “sorry!” before leaping down the steps and running toward Nikki.

  Just as she was about to walk through the security checkpoint and scan her boarding pass, I loudly cried out to her. “Nicole Thomson!”

  She whirled around, and for a second I was sure I saw her face light up, which was just as quickly replaced by a frown. “Leave me alone, Jake,” she said. “I really mean it this time.”

  “Why the hell did you leave?” I asked. “I woke up and you were gone!”

  “Now, you know what it feels like,” she smirked. I could see her eyes beginning to fill with tears. I gently took her hands in mine.

  “Is that what this is all about? Is this why you’re doing this?” I asked her. “To get back at me for leaving you back in September?”

  “No,” she insisted, but she wasn’t walking away. Instead, her hands remained in mine.

  “I left because I know that once the next job in Africa comes along, or the next time your boss calls and wants you to go and climb a mountain to get a shot of a mountain lion in Afghanistan, you’re going to go. You’re not going to think twice about me. Being here does something to the two of us, but none of its real, Jake. None of it lasts by the time we’re in the air, back to real life.”

  “Really?” I asked. “You mean, you only want me in Hawaii, and that’s it?”

  “Of course not,” she said. “I want more. I
only ever wanted more with you, but you can’t give it to me. You’ll leave me again, and I can’t cope with that. So I’m leaving before you have the chance to break my heart again.”

  I slowly let out my breath in a large sigh. It was time to be completely honest with her. We walked to one side, away from the open mouth and curious eyes of the woman who’d been about to take Nikki’s boarding pass.

  “All right,” I said to Nikki once we were out of earshot. “The truth is that when I left in September, it wasn’t just about the job.” I then went on to tell her about the real reason I left and the real reason of what kept me in Africa. But, to be truthful, I also knew there was more to me leaving.

  “Brandon also knew about us. He saw us on the beach, and I imagine the picture he got must have been one that a brother doesn’t want to see of his sister with his best friend. He told me that I was going to chew you up and spit you out because that’s the same thing I’ve done with every other woman.”

  Her gaze was wide, but she didn’t speak, and I had no choice but to go on.

  “I guess, deep down, even though I didn’t want to admit it, he was right. Right to be worried, I mean. And, I thought that maybe he was right about the way I felt about you, too. You were a holiday romance that wasn’t going to go anywhere, and I was better off out of it. So, yes, I had good reason to go as Tim needed me, and, yes, I had good reason to stay because a story needed to be told. Only, I thought you were going to be out of my head in a couple of weeks, and you weren’t. You were with me in the Congo. You were with me at night, when I couldn’t sleep. And when I heard that you’d won the award, there was nowhere else I was going to be that afternoon.”

  “And I shot you down,” Nikki said, with an ironic laugh.

  “Yeah, you did,” I agreed. “But that made me realize that there was something there that went deeper than even I knew, even though we’d only been together for such a short amount of time. It’s not even logical. But, fuck logic. Once I knew you were back here, at the same resort, I knew I had to find out what this is.”