She Belongs to Me

by Carmen DeSousa

  Not wanting to ruin their evening, she passed it off as nothing. Jordan was a big man, but he wasn’t dangerous. “How ’bout ice cream instead of coffee? I know a great little place off the causeway where we can pick some up and then drive to the beach. Also, if it’s okay, we can drop my car off on the way.” She normally wouldn’t allow that. But if he intended to try something, he wouldn’t hang around where everyone could identify him, or he would have attempted something last night. He didn’t even kiss her.

  Jordan smiled wildly again, sending her blood coursing through her veins. “I always wanted a woman to say that.”

  “What?” She narrowed her eyes in confusion.

  “‘I know a great little place’, like they always say in the movies. It’s rather romantic, don’t you think?” His cheek pulled up on one side revealing a dimple she hadn’t noticed.

  Romantic? Jordan wasn’t effeminate by any standard, and yet, he wasn’t afraid to verbalize something as romantic.

  Jordan stood up and directed her toward the exit. His hand rested lightly against her lower back again. Amy’s eyes were wide as were a couple of the girls who stopped bussing tables. Jaynee heard their whispers earlier as they checked Jordan out. They’d noticed him two evenings in a row, but she had kept her mouth shut.

  Jordan walked her to her vehicle as he had the previous evening, closed her inside, and then without a word, turned to his truck. Amy was correct. It was an eye-catching pickup. It was a brand new F-150, a mammoth of a truck with its customized lift-kit and chrome wheels, the paint a pristine solid black. A true country-boy’s truck—it fit him.

  Why hadn’t they discussed what he did for a living? Billy had mentioned construction, but she never thought to ask. She now wondered. Though she was positive it wasn’t anything like how her ex made money, but then, she hadn’t discovered what he did for income until it was too late.

  After pulling onto her driveway, Jaynee shifted her car in park and sprinted around to Jordan’s F-150. He had already jumped down and had opened the passenger door.

  “I guess I need to install running boards.” He chuckled lightly as he helped her up.

  “Hey…is that a ‘short’ joke?” she asked miffed, watching him climb into the driver’s seat. Truly though, she reveled at the idea of him wanting to install running boards—for her?

  “On the contrary…your height is ideal. I detest tall, skinny girls.” He crinkled his nose, as though frowning at the notion.

  She put her hands on her hips and jutted out her bottom lip, pretending to be offended. “So, I’m not skinny either?”

  “Thank God, no!” he offered, laughing heartily. “Jaynee, you are perfect so far in every way.”

  “So far…” She sighed. “Are you certain you want to finish the book?” She used the analogy he cited yesterday.

  Jordan looked over at her, his eyes burning. “I do.”

  Just two little innocent words, yet the implication in his tone sent shivers down her spine.

  “What if you don’t like what you discover?” She quickly gave him directions before he could respond. “Take a right on Curlew Road at the light which will take us directly to the Dunedin Causeway.”

  “Jaynee.” His tone was solemn. He stopped at the intersection, but didn’t turn right on red. Instead he looked at her. “Are you doing anything illegal or immoral, or have you committed a crime against someone?” His voice was serious at once; he sounded like a cop.

  “Of course not!” Her voice rose to nearly a shout.

  He smiled, shrugging. He looked to the left then started moving again, turning right. “Then it doesn’t matter. Whatever your life up to now is immaterial. When you trust me enough to tell me why you don’t believe in happiness, I’ll listen. Otherwise, as long as it doesn’t fit into one of those categories, it doesn’t matter.”

  They were silent as they drove toward the causeway. She thought about what he’d suggested; it sounded as if he wanted more than a couple of days.

  “That’s it up ahead.” Jaynee pointed to the yellow house-like structure with the front porch, its appearance similar to eateries located in the Florida Keys. She was so excited when they built it. Beforehand there wasn’t any place to get ice cream or dine on the causeway after sunset. “There are tables or we can take it with us,” she offered, appreciating the sound of “us” a little too much, and it was only their second non-date.

  Jordan parked and made his way around his truck to help her down. Placing his hands on either side of her waist, he lifted her, holding her up a second longer than necessary. His gaze locked with hers for a brief second, and Jaynee saw something she never saw in a man’s eyes. It was more than passion, there was hope. He set her down after a moment, not acting on the natural impulses. Instead, he led her across the parking lot, his arm tighter around her waist. She already felt comfortable with his protective touch, something foreign to her.

  He glanced down at her. “Are you hungry?”

  She suppressed a laugh by covering her mouth. Immature thoughts ran rampant. She was hungry all right but guessed that wasn’t what he was referring to. “No, ice cream will be fine. I am a big fan of ice cream.”

  “What’s funny?” He smiled at her. He probably thought she was crazy.

  “Nothing. I was just being silly. I’ll have mint chocolate-chip in a cup please,” she said, attempting to change the subject.

  Jordan paid for their dessert, and they returned to his truck. They drove over the drawbridge, approaching the dual line of palm trees bordering the beaches of Hurricane Pass. The sun, having dipped below the horizon within the last half-hour, shot brilliant bursts of brushstrokes in every spectrum from pink to red across the sky, saturating the heavens with warmth. But what made the display even more breathtaking, was sharing it for the first time with someone special.

  “Caladesi and Honeymoon Island are voted in the top ten beaches in America, but they close at twilight. The causeway is pleasant to relax and watch the sunset, though unfortunately, we are a little late for that, too. Just pull into whichever section looks good,” she babbled on, wondering if Jordan thought she was insane.

  “It’s beautiful,” Jordan said with meaning. “It looks like a postcard.”

  Driving onto the beach, Jordan backed his truck close to the water’s edge. Jaynee waited while he walked around the back of his truck, dropped the tailgate and then opened her door. After handing her his cup, he scooped her up into his arms before she could object. He carried her around to the truck bed and placed her gently on the tailgate. Tears actually formed in her eyes…she had never been treated so gentle.

  Jordan jumped up beside her in one agile move but then immediately noticed her tears. “Jaynee, what’s wrong, did I hurt you?” His eyes searched her face.

  She felt like a moron. She never cried—not lately anyway—and twice her eyes glazed over in his presence. “No, the opposite. Why are you treating me like this?” The ridiculous tears snaked aimlessly down her cheeks.

  “Like what? What did I do?” Grief filled his face as he reached to brush the tears away with his fingertips.

  “Why are you being so chivalrous, Jordan? If you only want a vacation fling before leaving, why would you exert such effort? It will only hurt more when you disappear in a few days.” She felt like such an imbecile. Why was she doing this? Why couldn’t she enjoy this moment? She didn’t want a relationship anyway, she reminded herself futilely. Why did she keep trying to lie to herself? She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted any man.

  Jordan set his dessert down, sighed, and then gently cupped Jaynee’s face with both hands.

  She sucked in a mouthful of air as if preparing for impact. What did she think he was going to do? Someone had hurt her badly. He planned to find out, but first he needed to assure her he wasn’t some schmuck who only wanted to take advantage of her.

  “Jaynee, I don’t know how to say this without scaring the heck out of you, or myself for that matter. But I am not pre
tending anything. And I am definitely not interested in a one-night-stand. I don’t know how this is going to work, but I…all I know is I want—”

  He pulled her face to his, kissing her softly once, twice, a third. As she parted her lips inviting him in, he kissed her deeper, passionately. They fit together perfect, and his body ached to have her closer. Not in a sexual way, he wanted all of her, mind and soul. He wanted to know everything. He released only her lips but continued holding onto her face. All he knew was he wanted that to be his last first-kiss.

  “I don’t know how to explain this, Jaynee, but I assure you I don’t want a fling. I’m not pretending anything. Can we just sit a minute, eat our ice cream and then we can talk. Okay?”

  He wanted to bask in this moment. The feelings soaring through him were powerful, like nothing he’d ever experienced. He wanted to kiss her again, taste her lips and breathe in her scent, but he didn’t want to alarm her.

  They ate without talking while staring out at the waves crashing against the beach. How was this going to work? he thought to himself. He had told her the truth. He didn’t want a one-night-stand, but he did want her.

  When he finished eating, he draped his arm around her shoulders. God, he loved this; it felt so natural. The evening was warm, but the ice cream made it feel cooler. Jaynee shivered, so he pulled her closer. She made no objection, which he was thankful. He didn’t want to release her. He truly enjoyed her company.

  “Tell me more about you,” she said suddenly, breaking the silence.

  Not wanting to talk about himself, he huffed lightly in response. “Well…I told you I left the military after my initial tour, because my dad was dying and my mom needed me, but it’s a little more entailed. I didn’t want to end up like my father. A career in the military, it’s rough on the family. So…I returned to the only place that ever felt like home. Where my grandparents have always lived and my family now lives.

  “I always wanted to be a police officer, and it was an easy transition after the military. Now you probably understand why I asked you those questions earlier.” She nodded. “I also started helping folks remodel their houses. Before I knew it, people were paying me to build things for them. In the last few years, my small handy-man operation has grown. I have a beautiful house in Stanfield. It’s far enough from my mother and grandmother to discourage daily visits, but close enough to watch over them. I like being a cop, but I don’t have to anymore. My company pays the bills with enough left over I can take time to help in emergencies like these hurricanes.” Jordan paused. He felt as if he was telling her his life story, and still he didn’t know enough about her. He wanted to know everything. He felt like an addict who needed his fix.

  He shrugged. “What else would you like to know?” He lowered his head to look at her eyes. She just stared at him. She probably thought he was ridiculous and simple-minded the way he prattled.

  “Are you sure you are real? Why aren’t you married or have a girlfriend?” Jaynee’s eyes flashed with panic, and she pulled back from him. “You don’t, do you?”

  “Jaynee, how many times are you going to insult me tonight? First you accuse me of trying to seduce you for a one-night-stand, and now you think I could be sitting here, spilling my guts out if I were married. What in the world happened to you, girl?”

  This time she kissed him. He felt need in her embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling closer. He gave into her, drawing her entire body onto his lap holding her as close as possible. His breaths quickened. Pulling back, he whispered, “Can we go back to your house? I promise nothing will happen, but I feel a little uncomfortable out here in the open and really want to talk to you tonight.” He saw the apprehension in her eyes. “Jaynee, you can trust me. I swear I will never ask anything of you emotionally or physically you are unable to give, and I will never hurt you. But you need to allow me an opportunity to prove myself.”

  He jumped down from the truck bed with her still in his arms and carried her back to the cab. “We can stay here if you want, inside the truck. I just don’t like being open to the elements of society with my attention otherwise diverted. Cop, remember?”

  “Yes, I remember. Do you remember the way to my house?”

  “I do.” Did she notice the inference in his words? For the first time in his life, he actually imagined saying them for real. Imagined what it would feel like to have one woman forever.

  After climbing into the driver’s seat, he lifted the center console and slid Jaynee next to him. He draped his arm over her shoulders. He could get used to this, he thought, contented. If he could just shatter her barriers, he believed they could make this work. He would lay everything on the line and see where it led.

  63

  Carmen DeSousa

  Chapter Four

  As Jaynee put her key into the lock in the front door, she glanced over her shoulder at Jordan. Her eyes shifted to the empty street beyond. Nothing was out of the ordinary, except that she was about to let the first man into her home in over a year.

  She was fragile and therefore needed to be careful. She’d made too many mistakes with men. However, she didn’t want to be so cautious that she missed something great. Her refusing-to-date stance wasn’t making much sense. Jordan represented everything she ever wanted in a man. How or why he was attracted to her she couldn’t comprehend, but for some reason he seemed interested.

  Although she wanted to, she couldn’t deny the strong emotions she felt for Jordan. It scared her. She had been hurt too badly in the past. But hadn’t she prayed incessantly for God to send her a man like him? Still, she needed to be sure that what she felt was real. Her heart couldn’t handle another pummeling.

  Once inside, Jordan locked the deadbolt behind them. The latch clicked loudly into place, making her jump. What had she done? Could she really trust him?

  Jordan took her hand and led her to the sofa, pulling her down beside him. Her heart started beating out an uncontrollable rhythm. Dear God, she prayed silently, please don’t let him hurt me. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her physically; it was the mental agony she couldn’t handle.

  Gathering her other hand in his, he gazed into her eyes.

  “Jaynee,” he started then stopped. His lips curved up. “Jaynee and Jordan, it resonates similar to characters in a story, doesn’t it?”

  His smile was wonderful, too good to be true. He didn’t sound like a marine or a cop. He looked every bit the tough guy but was a hundred percent gentleman and romantic simultaneously. Though her heart continued to race in her chest, it wasn’t out of nervousness anymore, but anticipation.

  She felt the flush crawl over her cheeks. “Yes, it does.” She glanced at her hands clasped between his.

  He released her hands and brushed away the bangs draping over her eyes, then lowered his hands to her waist and pulled her closer.

  “Where were we?” he drawled. His mouth moved back over hers, soft, warm and ever so inviting.

  Jaynee melted under Jordan’s touch, wondering how this man had escaped every other woman. His tongue slid across her lips, parting them, then slowly circled her tongue. Electricity soared through her under his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer. His lips were urgent, making her want more. She lowered her hands to his chest and began to unbutton his shirt.

  Unexpectedly, he moved his hands from around her waist and gathered both of her wrists. He pulled her hands to his chest, effectively stopping her progress.

  Her mind raced, had she done something wrong?

  Jordan’s lips slowed as his mouth progressed the line of her jaw to her ear. “Not tonight, my love,” he whispered through delicate kisses. “Not until you can give me all of you, heart and soul.” He pulled her closer and caressed her hair. His warm breath saturated her neck, sending chills down her spine.

  The emotions that raged through her terrified her. Giving away her body was easy; she couldn’t give up her heart. Never again. Why was he doing this to her?r />
  “Jaynee, I don’t want to scare you, but I have feelings for you. I don’t know how this could happen so fast, it certainly hasn’t ever happened before. But I am willing to follow through if you will open up.”

  What was he implying? He mentioned feelings but also said “my love”. Warmth overflowed her veins again, and she was positive her heart would pound through her chest. For the first time in years, she wanted to trust someone, wanted to believe. Dare she succumb, knowing he would shatter her sanity? She didn’t possess the strength to resist nor did she want to. But would he get up and leave the moment she disclosed her past?

  “Where would you like me to begin?” Her throat was so dry; her words came out in a raspy murmur as if she hadn’t spoken all day. “How much do you want to know?”

  “Everything.” He leaned back against the arm of the couch and stared into her eyes again. “You’ll have to give up all your demons; I have too much to give. You will have to empty yourself completely to make room for my love.” Jaynee looked down to her lap, and once again, Jordan lifted her chin, forcing her to look at his steel-blue eyes. “I have waited for you all my life, Jaynee. I didn’t believe it was possible, but I believe now.” He took her face between both hands as if to give testament to his words. “I have been struck. Not by the proverbial love-at-first-sight or Cupid’s arrow, but by something more powerful.

  “From the second our eyes met, electricity soared through me, and somehow you became the center of my universe. Nothing else seemed to matter. I wasn’t looking for this. I tried to get up and leave the restaurant the moment it happened, but I couldn’t, even when you turned me down. But the funny thing is…I saw it in your eyes yesterday, and I see it now. You felt it too, didn’t you?”

  How could she deny him? She was hesitant, but she needed to be truthful. “Yes, but it’s simply not possible—”