Subspace

by Sierra Cartwright

  He took a healthy swallow of his bourbon in an attempt to settle himself. The last few weeks the concept had been edging into his subconscious, making him very uneasy. He had his own hard and fast rule about relationships—they had a beginning and an end. He couldnlt forget that once, long ago, he’d had other ideas but they died in a crash-and-burn of epic proportions. Since then he’d kept the boundaries in place. Things worked much better that way.

  He wasn’t dishonest about it. His subs knew the score. Knew his history with other relationships. Knew about the farewell gift of a condo. An extravagant gesture but one of the perks of having more money than you could ever spend.

  But he was already a year past his normal limit and yet he still dragged his feet.

  Messy, that’s what it would be, if he didn’t get things rolling. But, god, she was like a drug in his system. Certainly her submissiveness in the bedroom was beyond perfect. And the other night? Fantastic beyond words. He’d waited a long time to notch things up to that level, some sixth sense telling him it would bind them closer together in a way that breached boundaries.

  But he had to do this. Had to break it off or he’d be setting himself up for another disaster. But damn, it was going to be hard. Because this one he really wanted to keep.

  He had already purchased a condo for her, his usual parting gift, and had it decorated. The arrangement with the designer was she could change anything in it she wanted to. He hadn’t planned to do it right away, thinking that after he took her into edge play he’d need more time to experience it with her.

  But the emotions she’d stirred within him the other night were too difficult for him to handle. Too dangerous. He needed to do this before he was in so deep he couldn’t get out. He hoped he hadn’t already reached that point.

  Finishing his drink, he signalled the waiter for the check. Maybe he could catch a late flight home and surprise Kaci in the early morning. And tomorrow night one last session to keep in his mental box of memories.

  His cock twitched again in response.

  Chapter Five

  Kaci rolled over in bed and threw her arm out to the side, feeling for the empty space next to her. Instead she encountered a warm, naked male body. Her eyes popped open and she sat up abruptly.

  Diego’s low chuckle rumbled in the morning light.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d ever wake up. How late did you work last night?”

  She blinked, still astonished at finding him next to her. The bed had been empty when she’d crawled into it at three in the morning.

  “Um, until two, I think.” She shoved her fingers through her hair, trying to straighten out its mussed condition.

  “What am I going to do with you, amante?” He ran a finger up and down the length of her spine. “I go away and you work yourself into exhaustion. What have I told you about that?”

  She turned sideways, leaning on her elbow and studying his chiselled face. “But I’m so very excited about these newest pieces. The one I’m working on now is really coming to life, just the way I pictured it.”

  He laughed again and tugged her down to him. “You say that about each of your creations,” he pointed out.

  Excitement bubbled through her. “I know, but that’s how I feel.” She threw her arms around him and pressed herself to his body. “I’ll never ever be able to thank you enough for everything. For Giorgio. For the gallery owner. Your friends. All of it.”

  “I think it’s selfish on my part.” He kissed her forehead. “I want everyone to know how connected I am to a famous sculptress.”

  For a moment her insides clenched. Connected. What an amorphous word. It could mean anything. He was connected to his business associates. Did he see her in the same light? But then she pushed the thought away, determined not to spoil the moment.

  “I wasn’t expecting you back until later today,” she reminded him.

  “Don’t worry,” he teased. “I won’t cut into your studio time. But my business was complete and I wanted to come home.” He cradled her head in his palm. “My cock missed you, my pet.”

  His cock. What about the rest of him?

  Stop, stop, stop!

  “Then I think I should take very good care of it.”

  Kaci wriggled loose from his grip, tossed the covers back and knelt between his thighs. His shaft stood away from his body, thick and swollen, the head darkened and fluid sitting in a pearly drop right on the slit. Clasping her hands behind her back in the position he always ordered, she leaned forward and swiped her tongue across the velvety in one long, slow lick.

  Diego’s body tightened in response.

  She lapped at him again before using her tongue to trace the length of his erection to his sac and pulling the soft skin into her mouth. She heard the hissing intake of his breath, saw his muscles tighten again.

  Kaci worked his balls in her mouth, rolling them with her tongue before releasing them and turning back to his cock. When she eased her lips down the entire length to the root, a low rumble of pleasure vibrated up from his throat. She took it slow—the way he liked it, always keeping her hands behind her as her mouth glided up and down the shaft. Tilting her head slightly, she took him even deeper, pressing her tongue flat against the underside of his cock and letting the head scrape the roof of her mouth as she eased it further down her throat.

  It didn’t take her long to set up the rhythm. In three years she’d learnt exactly how fast to go, how much time to take, how to use her tongue as she sucked him hard. He swelled even more, if that was possible, and she knew his climax was rising within him. She ramped up the pace, bobbing her head faster, grazing the velvet surface over the steel hardness with her teeth.

  And then he came in giant spurts, his semen filling her mouth and sliding down her throat. She worked him until she’d wrung the last drop from him and swallowed every bit before drawing back and sitting on her heels.

  Diego reached out a hand to cup her chin. “That alone was worth coming home early.”

  “Good. I’m glad I please you, Sir.” She leaned forward and kissed his lips, just a feathery touch.

  “Tonight there will be no working late,” he told her.

  “Oh?” She quirked an eyebrow. “Do you have something planned?”

  In answer he eased her down beside him and ran his hand over her ass and thighs. “Are you still so sore, querida?”

  “Only a little. Not so much, really.”

  He rolled her so he could see for himself. “Faint marks only. Excellent.” He pulled her back to him. “Tonight we will explore that again. Good?”

  “Yes. Very good.” She wet her lips. “While I was working at the studio I thought about it. And all the while I worked I…remembered.”

  “A good memory?” Still pressing his lips lightly against her forehead he traced the dips and swells of her body with his hand.

  “Oh, yes,” she breathed.

  “Excellent.” He sat up, taking her with him. “Now I must shower and get to the office. I have details from the trip to handle.” He brushed his mouth over hers. “Come home early and I’ll have one of those baths you love waiting for you. Then we will play. And then I’ll take you out to dinner, knowing that as you sit across from me your ass is burning. Maybe I’ll leave the plug in, just for some added stimulation.”

  Diego had a strange look in his eyes that made her stomach knot with apprehension. Did he have a special reason for all this? Surely he wouldn’t end this so abruptly. Would he?

  “Diego?” She knew how tentative she sounded and hated it.

  He kissed her gently, set her aside and swung his feet to the floor. “All is good.”

  But he averted his eyes, increasing her anxiety.

  “What time should I expect you?”

  “I’ll call you from the office.” He grinned. “And please, this time answer your phone. All right?”

  “Yes, Sir. I will keep it next to me at all times.” She bent her head but smiled up at him, glancing at his face throu
gh her lashes.

  “Careful,” he warned, “or I might have to increase the strokes.”

  But he was smiling, too. She just hoped it was a good smile.

  * * * *

  Diego chose to bathe her himself. She arrived home promptly at three, and he had everything waiting for her. The huge marble tub was filled to the brim, the jets set at a low vibration speed, the surface a thick mass of bubbles. He undressed her slowly, running his hands over every inch of her skin as he exposed it, memorising the curves and angles of her body. Then he helped her into the tub, stripped off his own clothes and knelt with a soft cloth in his hand.

  He took his time, washing her everywhere, his voice low and soothing as he coaxed her into a state of relaxation and urged her on her way into subspace. Once again he dried her carefully then sat her at the vanity while he brushed her hair with long, slow strokes. When her hair fell to her shoulders in silken blonde waves, he massaged her neck, shoulders and arms with his strong, lean fingers.

  By the time he carried her into the bedroom she was limp, relaxed, and her eyes were already glazing over. He stood her beside the bed and lifted the clover clamps from the nightstand. Plucking each nipple until it pebbled and swelled, he carefully attached each clamp then licked the hard flesh protruding from the restraints.

  Then he stretched her out on the bed as he’d done the other night, arranging her to his satisfaction, attaching the linked cuffs to the headboard. He ran his hands over her body again, inhaling the lavender scent from the bath that mingled with her own increasing musk. He touched the lips of her pussy with his fingers, easily slipping two of them inside.

  Soaked!

  He brought his fingers back to his mouth and licked them. Her taste was intoxicating, so much so that he had to control himself or he would have fucked her right then and there. And that’s when he knew how dangerously deep she was in his system.

  It’s time. And it will be the worst day of my life.

  But tonight he would enjoy her. Enjoy the edge play. Then fuck her senseless. One last time.

  He applied the lube to her anus, rubbing it against the outer ring of muscle before working it inside the dark hot tunnel with his fingers. She whimpered in pleasure and he added a third finger. Fucking her ass was an experience beyond almost anything else for him. He would miss it.

  Applying lube to the plug, he spread the cheeks of her ass with one hand while sliding the plug in with the other. He caught his breath as the implement disappeared inside her, only the flanges at the base visible, resting against the lower curve of her ass.

  After wiping his fingers with one of the wet tissues he kept in a bowl, he lifted the thin cane from where he’d placed it near the pillow and ran his fingers over its lean length. He bent over so his mouth was close to her ear. He hadn’t blindfolded her tonight, but her eyes were closed and her lips curved in a half-smile.

  “Are you ready, amadora?”

  “Mmm?” she hummed.

  He could tell by her voice that she was already well into subspace. Good.

  “Twenty strokes with the cane, my pet. Then twenty more with a new toy. Can you take that?”

  “Yes, Sir.” Her speech was slurred, as if she was already on a high.

  “Very good, then.”

  He applied the strokes slowly at first, but not in any particular rhythm. He’d learnt long ago that caning was most effective when the sub couldn’t anticipate when the next blow would fall. As the red stripes blossomed on her ass, his cock hardened and throbbed, and his balls ached with anticipation. She had such a gorgeous ass. He wanted to lick every stripe he was raising on it. Perhaps he would when he was finished.

  When he reached the count of twenty, he tossed the cane aside and picked up the leather-covered paddle he’d chosen instead of the flogger. He placed it against the curve of her buttocks so she could feel it.

  “No flogger tonight, my pet. Something even more intense.”

  She opened her eyes to look at him, and he saw slight apprehension, but more than that the glazed look that told him her endorphins had kicked in big time. She was really enjoying this, much more than he had expected. He felt a sharp stab of regret that this would be over. That after tonight she would be lost to him.

  My own damn fault. I don’t have to make her leave.

  Yes, I do.

  Shutting off his mind, he applied the paddle—again beginning with a slow rhythm of strokes to let her get used to it, then harder and faster.

  “Owww! Ouch, ouch!”

  But even as she cried out and jerked in response to the paddling, he watched the rhythm of her breathing escalate and saw her arch her hips up to him again and again. He had to restrain himself from paddling her harder in an effort to clear her from his system.

  When he was finished and she was a sobbing mass on the bed, her hands clenched into fists, he sheathed himself, spread the lips of her cunt and plunged into her hot, tight pussy. He had to stop to catch his breath, let the feel of her soak into him one last time. Leaning over, he did what he’d imagined doing earlier—kissing every inch of her hot, red ass cheeks and licking them with his tongue.

  She was squirming beneath him now, begging for him to fuck her. Sobbing out her need.

  Letting out a slow breath, he slammed into her and gave her what she needed. What they both needed.

  * * * *

  Kaci sipped her wine, watching the man across the table from her. He was unusually quiet tonight. Normally he’d be smiling at her with that knowing smile of his, asking oh-so-solicitously about her stinging ass and the plug filling her. Making her cross and uncross her legs in a way that rubbed the fabric of her dress against her reddened skin. Dropping his napkin and commanding her to pick it up so she had to bend and shift the plug in her ass.

  But tonight he was unusually distracted. A good meal had basically gone to waste since it appeared neither of them had much of an appetite. Finally she set her glass down, unable to stand it any longer.

  “I think you’d better tell me what’s on your mind,” she said in a careful tone of voice. “Because I know something is sitting right there at the edge of your brain.”

  He hesitated a moment before placing his wine goblet carefully on the table in front of him.

  “Querida,” he began.

  She held up her hand. “No. Whatever it is, address me by my name. You never use my name.” She cocked her head. “Why is that, Diego? In three years you’ve used pet names and affectionate terms only. Is it because saying my name makes it too personal for you? As unbelievably intimate as we are, as intense as our relationship is, that’s what allows you to still keep me at arm’s length, isn’t it?”

  He stared at her, his eyes dark, a muscle twitching in his cheek.

  Kaci felt sick. This was it. He was going to do it tonight. After he’d guided her to subspace, taught her the pleasures of intense pain, he was going to make her walk away. She knew she was on borrowed time but she’d hoped…

  Never mind. It was over and she knew there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. But she could at least have the last word.

  “I’ll save you the trouble of telling me.” She was amazed at how calm her voice was. “It’s done. Finished. We should move on from here.”

  She patted her lips with her napkin, tossed it onto the table and picked up her slim evening purse.

  “Querida,” he started again.

  “No. No endearments. And not even my name now.” She rose from her chair, proud at how steady she was. “I ask only that you be away tomorrow so I can get my things without us having an awkward moment.”

  “But I have a place for you,” he protested, taking a key ring from his pocket and holding it out to her.

  “I’ll go to a hotel.” She started to turn away.

  He stood up, grabbing her hand and forcing the keys into it. “The address is on the fob. It’s all decorated, ready for you to move in.”

  The pain was so intense she wondered how she could b
reathe. “You’ve planned this for a while,” she guessed.

  He said nothing, just shoved his hands into his pockets. “You’ll need a place to live. I won’t bother you there.”

  Her laugh was slightly hysterical. “That’s the idea, isn’t it?”

  “I have to leave town again in the morning. I’ll be gone for three days. You’ll have plenty of time to get your things.” He tugged at her free hand. “I didn’t want it to end like this. Please believe me.”

  “I have no idea how you thought it could end any other way.”

  Gathering her dignity, she turned on her heel and walked away, leaving Diego gaping after her.

  Kaci kept it together while a cab took her to a hotel. While she paid the driver and checked in. While she took the elevator to her room and unlocked the door. But inside, in the dark, she threw herself on the bed and let the tears flow, crying until she was sure she had no more tears left and then crying even more. Finally, blessedly, she slept.

  * * * *

  The trip was a disaster from the beginning. After a sleepless night, Diego dragged himself from the penthouse and crawled into the limo for the ride to the airport. His plane was ready, but he could have been flying in an old piece of junk for as much as he cared. The trip was interminable, and with the mood he was in the business meeting went badly.

  This had always worked before. The nice dinner out. The fond farewell. The trip out of town to give his sub time to move to her new digs. The pleasant smiles when they saw each other again in passing.

  But this time Kaci’s face haunted him every minute. He felt the loss as keenly as if he’d had a limb amputated.

  It had cut him badly when she’d pointed out that he’d never used her name when he’d addressed her. And, of course, she’d been right on target. It was his little trick to depersonalise a very personal situation. Only this time it hadn’t worked. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw her face. If he heard someone speak he thought he it was her voice. He was sure he’d never be able to erase the erotic image of her on their bed, buttocks and thighs reddened, moaning in pleasure while he pummelled her with his cock.