Their Guilty Pleasures

by June Tate

  Brad chuckled. ‘Well, I’ve never heard it put into those words before.’

  Jenny gazed at the captain. They had become firm friends during the previous months, and she felt she could talk to him. ‘Of course, there’s always a price to pay, isn’t there?’

  ‘What are you trying to tell me, Jenny?’

  ‘I suppose I’m trying to say that, foolishly, I’ve fallen in love with Chad.’

  He frowned. ‘Does he feel the same?’

  ‘Yes.’ She closed her eyes for a moment, then opening them she looked at Brad and asked, ‘What am I going to do about it?’

  ‘What do you want to do about it?’

  ‘Oh, that’s easy! I want to run away after the war and go with him to Wyoming, ride with him, camp out, sleep beneath the stars, because he makes it sound so wonderful. He makes me feel like a different woman, Brad. I want to change my life . . . but I’m married to Adam.’

  ‘Do you still love Adam?’

  She shook her head. ‘I still love him, but I’m not in love with him. Does that make any sense?’

  ‘Oh yes, a great deal. Chad is an unusual man; he’s come into your life when you are most vulnerable. Adam’s away, you’re alone. He’s opened up strange vistas, a different way of life. It sounds exciting and probably is – but you’d have to give up a great deal. Are you prepared to do so?’

  ‘I’m damned if I know! The more I try and think about it, the more of a mess it seems to be. Anyway, let’s get back to business; sorry to use you as a sounding board, that wasn’t fair of me.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous. I’m your friend, and as a doctor I’m used to listening.’

  ‘You have a great bedside manner, Brad, I’ll say that for you!’

  ‘I just don’t want to have to treat you as a patient, that’s all.’ He paused. ‘It’s possible that in the near future we’ll all be shipped out; you should prepare yourself mentally for that.’

  Brad knew that plans were in progress for an invasion. There was no way he could tell Jenny about it, of course – it was top secret – but he could warn her of the consequences.

  ‘Wars are dreadful!’ she cried. ‘Not only do they cost so many lives, but they also mess up the lives of so many of the folk that are left behind.’ She rose from her chair. ‘I’ll make some more coffee.’ And the subject was closed.

  As he drove back to headquarters, Brad thought about Jenny and her predicament, knowing that many couples would be asking the same questions. For him it wasn’t so bad – he was a single man, and Rusty was also free. If they wanted to spend their lives together, at least their problems were halved. He had been careful not to speak of the future when he was with Rusty – he didn’t think it right to do so with a war still raging – but deep down he knew that in the end he would ask her to be his wife. He loved everything about her. Her personality, her sense of fun – her honesty. He wanted this lovely vibrant woman to share his life, but he would bide his time until things settled down, when he was sure he had a future. In war there was always the uncertainty that you could become a casualty – or worse.

  Gunter Reinhardt was now settled in a prisoner of war camp at Bishop’s Waltham and was not a happy man. It had all happened so quickly. He’d been taken by surprise when he’d been removed from Cherry Tree Farm, and until he’d been taken before the military he had no idea why. Then he was told by the officer in charge – a man not entirely unsympathetic, who realized that Gunter was an educated man who had been drawn into the war against his better judgement.

  ‘It has been brought to my attention that you have been fraternizing with a young English girl, Reinhardt. Her mother is demanding that I put a stop to this.’

  So that was what it was all about, thought the German.

  ‘What do you have to say for yourself?’

  ‘It’s true, sir. Sarah and I started talking one day when I was being held in Southampton, and when I was moved, she came to the farm on a Sunday. This is far more than fraternizing, sir. We love each other, and after the war we plan to marry.’

  The officer looked surprised. ‘Well, I can tell you now, that her mother will certainly be against such a liaison. She hasn’t a good word to say about you Germans! And I believe that her daughter is a teenager.’

  ‘She’s seventeen. I do realize that we have many difficulties to overcome, but we truly want to be together after the war.’

  ‘That’s fortunately not my problem,’ said the officer. ‘You will remain at Bishop’s Waltham for the time being – and no visitors are allowed. Dismiss!’

  The prisoners were allowed to write letters, and Gunter had quickly written to Mrs Brown and given her his address, asking her to tell Sarah where he was. If he couldn’t see her, then at least they could keep in touch.

  The postman posted a letter through the door of Sarah’s house just as she was leaving for work. When she saw her name on the envelope, she quickly pushed it into her pocket and stepped into the street. Once outside she opened it and was delighted to see it was from Mrs Brown.

  Dear Sarah, I’ve received a letter from Gunter who is now at a camp at Bishop’s Waltham. Unfortunately he isn’t allowed visitors but can receive mail. He asked me to let you know. I have written the address for you. Love, Ethel Brown.

  Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. Gunter still wanted her! She was afraid, despite all his endearments, that once they were apart, he would change his mind about them, and she desperately needed him as she was in a great deal of trouble. Her period was late, and she was afraid she was pregnant. Now more than ever she needed his assurance that they did have a future together because when her mother discovered her condition, Sarah was fearful of the consequences. She would write to him tonight.

  Later, Sarah, alone in her bedroom, was filled with trepidation as she penned her letter. What would she do if Gunter, on learning her news, then wanted nothing more to do with her? Whatever his reaction, she would certainly keep the baby, there would be no backstreet abortion for her. She wanted his child, someone to love other than Gunter. There had been little affection in her own childhood. Her parents looked after her well and cared about her, but neither was demonstrative. There had never been any cuddles when she was small, and she’d never seen her father and mother embrace each other. This need for affection had been fulfilled by Gunter, who was gentle and caring. She knew they could be happy together, given the chance. If he still wanted her after hearing her news, she wouldn’t let anything stand in her way!

  Gunter Reinhardt was handed the letter two days later, after roll call. He walked to a quiet corner of the camp and opened it. After reading the contents, he frowned. My God! What a predicament for Sarah. Her mother was bound to discover that her daughter was pregnant eventually – a woman could only disguise the fact for so long – and then there would be trouble. What on earth could he do to help? He paced up and down, feeling absolutely helpless. There was no one he could turn to for assistance. He lit a cigarette and tried to gather his thoughts . . . then he stopped his pacing. Of course there was one person he could rely on. He walked to his quarters and sat down to write.

  On Friday morning, Sarah saw the envelope on the front doormat and picked it up, her heart racing when she recognized Ethel Brown’s writing. She’d heard from Gunter, the farmer’s wife wrote, and she had a letter for her. If Sarah would come to the farm on Sunday, she could collect it and stay for lunch.

  Sarah could hardly wait. What would her lover have to say about the baby? What if he said he wasn’t interested? A million thoughts raced through her mind. If he wanted it and her, how long would he have to wait before they could all be together – and how would she manage in the meantime to keep the child in food and clothes? Her mother wouldn’t help, she was sure of that. She was near to tears as she wrestled mentally with all these questions.

  Eventually Sunday arrived, and Sarah caught the bus to Hedge End and Cherry Tree Farm. As she walked up the path to the farmhouse, she felt nauseous. Would the letter c
ontain good or bad news? She knocked on the door.

  ‘Come in, love,’ said Mrs Brown, and on seeing how pale the young girl looked, she led her to a chair, handed her the letter and said: ‘Here you are, Sarah, you read that whilst I make a pot of tea.’

  With trembling fingers, Sarah tore the envelope open.

  Liebling, it began, I was so thrilled to hear from you. I had been so worried after I was moved from the farm without being able to let you know what had happened. I love you, Sarah, and although I know the fact that you may be carrying my child will cause you many problems, please know that I am thrilled that we made a baby together. Sarah let out a muffled cry as she read his words. I feel so helpless as I am unable at this time to be of any assistance to you, but I have written to Mrs Brown – she knows what is happening and has told me that if she can help you in any way, to ask. I love you, and one day we will be together, I promise. Gunter xx

  With tears of relief trickling down her cheeks, Sarah looked up at Ethel Brown. The woman, seeing her distress, rushed over to her and held her. ‘There, there, love, now don’t you worry. It’ll all be all right in the end, you’ll see.’

  The two of them sat at the table and, over several cups of tea, Sarah told Ethel she was worried as to how her parents would react when they discovered her condition.

  ‘Are you sure about the baby?’

  ‘I’ve missed a couple of periods and I’m as regular as clockwork usually,’ Sarah told her. ‘And another thing, my breasts are tender.’

  ‘Well, sometimes that happens just before you come on,’ Mrs Brown remarked. ‘However, my dear, I’ve been thinking after I received Gunter’s letter, and I’ve discussed this with my husband.’ She paused to pour more tea. ‘Just supposing your mother goes bananas and you want a place to stay, you can have Gunter’s old room.’

  Sarah’s eyes widened with surprise. ‘You would do that for me?’

  ‘You and Gunter, yes. Look, love, he was a lovely young man, not the usual soldier. He is a man with a good background, a profession. We grew very fond of him when he was here, and he loves you dearly. He used to talk to Mr Brown and me about his plans for both of you. He had the future all worked out, and he did realize that it wouldn’t be easy, knowing how your mum feels.’ She sighed. ‘Not all Germans are bad, and not all Englishmen are good.’

  ‘If only Mum thought that way, my life would be so easy.’

  ‘If you really are pregnant, when will you tell her?’

  Sarah pulled a face. ‘Not until I have to, that’s for sure!’

  ‘But if you are, you’ll have to see a doctor. You must look after yourself and the baby.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose I must.’ She frowned. ‘To be honest, the only thing I could think about was how Gunter would react when he knew. I hadn’t thought further than that.’

  Ethel smiled her understanding. ‘That’s natural. So many young women in wartime are left in the lurch by soldiers who have promised them the earth to get them into bed, but Gunter’s different. For that we must all be thankful.’

  Arthur Brown joined them for lunch. He was kind to Sarah, as always, but he made no comment about the reason for her being there, except to say how good it was to see her and how they had missed her.

  As she left to go home, Ethel Brown said, ‘I’ve suggested that Gunter send his letters for you to the farm only – they are marked with a military stamp, and if your mother saw that, the cat would be out of the bag.’

  Sarah hugged her. ‘What would I do without you!’

  ‘Ah well, my dear, I’m a sucker for a real love story.’ And she kissed her on the cheek. ‘See you next week. You take care now.’

  As she walked back through the farmyard, Sarah remembered just how happy she and Gunter had been spending their time together here; it had been a great start to their relationship. Being part of a family had seemed so normal. They’d been able to forget the differences between them that the war had only emphasized.

  Sitting on the bus heading for home, Sarah felt as if a load had been lifted from her shoulders. Gunter still loved her, and Mrs and Mrs Brown had pledged their support. What a lucky girl she was, but she knew that ahead of her was a very rocky road.

  Twelve

  It was mid December and the day of the Christmas party for the children, held at the Red Cross Club in the High Street. The room was decorated with paper chains and Chinese lanterns. Inside was a spread of food that made the eyes of the invited youngsters widen with surprise. There were spam sandwiches, and hot dogs in fresh bread rolls, baked in the camp. There were sausage rolls, hamburgers, jellies, blancmanges, and small cakes with icing. A twelve foot high Christmas tree, decorated with coloured lights and baubles and lots of tinsel, stood proudly at one end of the room. Three hundred children gazed in wonder at all that was placed before them.

  There was a conjuror, a ventriloquist, and a singer who also danced, who had all been hired to entertain the children, and everything would end with community singing. But the highlight of the afternoon, of course, was the arrival of Father Christmas from a specially built fireplace. The children were each presented with a packet of candy, a packet of cookies and some fruit, all given by the Americans from their rations. The children, filled with excitement, didn’t realize his: ‘Ho, ho, ho,’ and chat with each child was in an American accent.

  Both Jenny and Rusty had been invited to help out with the children, and they too were carried away with the excitement of it all.

  ‘Just look at that child’s face,’ said Rusty as a small boy licked his ice cream, clutching an apple at the same time.

  ‘And look at the faces of the men; they are getting as much out of this as the little ones.’

  It was true. Several GIs were playing games and entertaining the children, grinning happily as they did so, having a really good time, their efforts well rewarded by the joy on every child’s face.

  Chad was there too, down on his knees, giving several children piggyback rides. Jenny smiled to herself. Even now he couldn’t get away from horses.

  Brad walked over to the two women and putting an arm around Rusty said, ‘Thanks, girls, you were a great help. I think this party has been a success, don’t you?’

  ‘These children will remember today for a very long time,’ Rusty remarked. ‘In fact, so will I. I’ve never had a hot dog before!’

  Laughing, he said, ‘It’s part of the American way of life, honey.’

  When it was all over and the children taken home, the girls were exhausted. ‘Come back to my quarters and we’ll all have a drink together,’ suggested Brad. He called Chad over to join them.

  But as they entered the corridor leading to Brad’s quarters, Joe Kowalski, now back on duty, saw them and recognized Rusty and her auburn hair from the night he had paid for her services. He was more than a little surprised to see her being looked after so attentively by his captain, who was followed by the corporal and another classy looking lady.

  ‘Well,’ he murmured, ‘who would have thought it? Captain Jackson with a hooker!’

  As Christmas approached, Sarah was getting increasingly nervous. She was now three months pregnant and was beginning to find it difficult to hide her condition. She knew that it was only a matter of time until her parents were aware of it too. Already, her mother had remarked that her face was fuller and she was gaining weight. Sarah had passed it off as being the result of their wartime diet. So far, her mother had accepted this.

  Ethel Brown had loaned Sarah one or two items of her clothing, which were a size larger, to help Sarah disguise her condition, but the farmer’s wife was concerned about the future for this girl, of whom she’d grown fond. She’d discussed her fears with her husband: ‘Sarah’s mother will hit the roof when she finds out that her daughter’s pregnant!’

  ‘Well, love, that’s understandable, after all.’

  ‘I know, but now is the time that she needs her family behind her. I can’t see that happening at all.’

  Th
ey were soon to find out.

  Sarah stepped out of the bath and dried herself. She’d washed her hair too, which had got soaked from the rain that had fallen all day. Just as she put aside the towel and turned to pick up her clothes to get dressed, her mother walked in, as Sarah had forgotten to lock the door.

  ‘Oops, sorry,’ Dora began, but as she turned to leave, she saw the telltale swelling of her daughter’s stomach and she looked at Sarah in dismay. ‘You’re pregnant!’

  Sarah felt the blood drain from her body. She clutched at the bath to steady herself, then she looked up defiantly. ‘Yes, I am. I’m carrying Gunter’s child, Mother.’

  For a moment Dora was speechless, then she began her tirade. ‘You cheap hussy! You stand there and tell me you are carrying that German’s child – and you have no shame?’

  ‘It’s not how I would have planned it, but no, I’m not ashamed. We love one another. He’s going to marry me after the war.’

  ‘Ha!’ Dora was derisive. ‘That’s what they all say. You stupid little fool for believing such a thing. You gave yourself to him on an empty promise; well, you’ll have to pay the price. What will people say, do you think, when they see you on the street with your bastard in a pram?’

  The cruel words cut deep.

  Sarah picked up the towel and wrapped it around her. ‘It’s no one’s business but mine and Gunter’s. When we get married the baby will be legitimate.’

  ‘You were brought up to be a decent girl, but instead you behave like a tart!’ Dora looked at her with disgust. ‘You have brought shame on this family. God knows what your father will have to say about this.’

  Sarah found her courage. ‘I’ll get dressed and come downstairs, then we’ll find out!’

  Whilst she dressed in her bedroom, Sarah could hear the raised voices echoing from below and her heart was thudding. Now she was really scared. She took a picture of Gunter out of her handbag and held it to her. Then, taking a deep breath, she headed for the stairs.