Soul Protector

by Amanda Leigh Cowley

  “And you. Bye love.”

  Damn, damn, damn.

  We were all deflated. Tom dropped the monitors back, and then took me home.

  “I think I should have stayed there, Tom. I can’t leave her on her own, what if he comes back early?”

  “Don’t worry, Gracie, we’ll have monitors keeping an eye on your mum’s place regularly over the next twenty four hours. Tomorrow evening I’ll pick you up early and we’ll wait for him to return. Just to be on the safe side, keep your phone close to you at all times in case he turns up sooner and we need your help.”

  I frowned at Tom, biting my lip. Something could still go wrong.

  “Gracie, don’t do anything on your own. It’s not safe. Do you understand me?”

  I nodded at him, jumped out the car and waved him off, watching until he was out of sight. I bypassed the entrance to the flats and carried on walking to the car park at the back. I opened my car door, climbed in and drove all the way back to Mum’s. I parked close to the spot where I’d phoned Mum earlier, just out of view, obscured by the big willow tree on the corner. I sat there waiting all night, dozing on and off, just in case.

  I saw a black Mondeo drive past almost hourly and felt sure he must be the monitor staking out Mum’s street. I saw the milkman and the paper boy come and go. I saw the local residents evacuate on mass during the morning rush hour, and at about nine thirty, I saw Terry’s car approaching from the opposite direction.

  He pulled up on Mum’s drive and I fumbled around for my phone, which must have dropped off my lap while I’d been snoozing. I managed to extricate it from underneath my seat, and hurriedly searched through the names until I came to Tom’s. I was just about to press the ‘call’ button, when Terry came out of Mum’s house holding his briefcase and climbed back into his car.

  He pulled off the drive and disappeared in the opposite direction. I chucked my phone on the passenger seat. No time to call Tom, I couldn’t lose sight of Terry. I put the car into gear and headed in the same direction. I needed to catch up with him so I could tell Tom and the other monitors where he was. I knew Tom would be cross with me for working solo, but I was too worried about Terry hurting Mum. I vowed he wouldn’t get anywhere near her ever again if I had anything to do with it. And if he did spot me, I thought, at least I’d lost my aura.

  After about ten minutes, he turned off the main road, in the opposite direction to the housing estate he supposedly lived in.

  I kept at a safe distance as I followed him into a notoriously seedy part of town. Gradually the houses grew more run-down and depressing, until we turned into a long street with rows of derelict houses on either side. The newsagents and pub looked like they’d been boarded up and abandoned long ago and graffiti was scrawled on every available surface. The icing on the cake was the rubbish, it was everywhere; strewn along the road, the pavements and speared on the branches of a half-dead tree.

  The houses were large family-sized terraces and years ago the area would have been a lively place, but at some point over the last ten years the inhabitants had moved out and, other than a lone dog barking incessantly in the distance, there were no signs of life. No children playing, no traffic noise and no birds singing. It was a few shades darker here than the rest of London, it seemed even the sunlight couldn’t be bothered to filter through properly.

  I’d heard rumours that night time brought with it a steady stream of drug dealers and prostitutes but by day this place was a ghost town, and it was incredibly eerie.

  Terry parked outside a row of dilapidated terraces at the far end of the street. I hung back and parked behind an old beige car with a brown vinyl roof, smashed brake lights and a wire coat hanger for an aerial.

  Dressed in his shirt, tie and trousers, Terry stood out like a sore thumb and I watched, mesmerised, as he walked down some steps and disappeared into one of the derelict houses. There was no way I was going to follow him in. I got out my phone and tried ringing Tom to give him the address, but there was no signal. Damn.

  I sat and tapped out a text giving him the rough location, but telling him I would meet him by the local park, a few streets away. It was a slightly better area, and I knew I would feel safer hanging around there. I pushed the send button and held my breath. When a failure message pinged back at me I sighed and chucked the phone on the passenger seat. I would have to follow Plan C instead and head straight to Tom’s.

  I turned the keys in the ignition, and just as the engine jumped to life, my car door was wrenched open. Before I could react a hand grabbed the keys out of the ignition.

  I twisted my head to be faced with a thick-set man with flaky skin and greasy hair.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” he said, his face only inches from mine. I almost gagged at the smell of his breath.

  “I-I got a bit lost.”

  “Did you now, Gracie?

  He knows my name?

  “Or could it be that you followed Terry here, and now you’re off to alert the monitors that you’ve found us?”

  I held my breath as he leaned past me and grabbed my phone off the passenger seat. He launched it out the car and I watched in horror as it smashed into tiny pieces on the road.

  “Right young lady, you’re coming with me,” he said, grabbing my arm with one hand, and my hair with the other. Pain tore through my scalp as he dragged me.

  “Get off,” I screamed, trying to kick him as he took me in the direction of the house Terry had just entered.

  He laughed. “Scream all you like, nobody cares. It’s just us CSPs round here.”

  He dragged me through an archway that linked two overgrown gardens, and shoved me hard against the wall. Pain splintered through my shoulder.

  “Please, just let me go,” I said, panting. “I won’t say anything.”

  He put his face close to mine, and with every word he spoke I felt his saliva hitting my face. “You think I’m going to trust you? Don’t make me laugh.”

  His features turned more hostile and he grabbed my neck, closing his fingers round my throat. I grasped at them, trying to claw him off me, but I was sweaty and couldn’t get a good grip.

  I looked into his cold, dark eyes and felt my body grow weaker. My legs gave way and I slid down the wall and onto the floor. He knelt down with me, his hands squeezing tighter all the time.

  Despite panic flooding my senses, I felt overwhelmed with sadness as an image of Mum filtered into my head. I imagined her despair when someone told her I was missing. My poor mum, after everything she’d been through.

  Anger pulsed through my veins, giving me a surge of strength. I managed to kick out hard, connecting with the thug’s shin and making him swear. I twisted my body away from him and tried again to wrench his hands from my neck.

  But he was much stronger than me. The more I resisted, the tighter he squeezed. I looked into his eyes and saw pleasure reflected back at me. He was enjoying it.

  I tried to gasp for breath as the fight inside me faded. The edge of my vision started to go fuzzy and I had the sensation of floating away. I knew there was nothing more I could do and let myself go, resigned to my fate. But instead of slipping away, I felt something slam into my side. My knees smacked the hard mud as I was thrown to the ground.

  My throat was raw and my lungs felt like they were on fire. Gradually I managed to suck in small quantities of the air I so desperately needed. It took me a while to recover my senses and become aware of the scuffle going on beside me. Still gasping, I managed to heave myself into a sitting position. I drew in a sharp and painful breath.

  The fight next to me stopped and there was blood everywhere. It was the thug’s blood. Sitting next to him, leaning against the wall panting, was Terry with a bloody knife in his hand. I didn’t know whether to be grateful he had just saved my life, or scared that I was so close to an armed CSP.

  ~~~

  CHAPTER 22

  .

  Revelations

  .

  “Gracie,
are you okay?” His voice was breathless.

  “I think so,” I croaked. “You… you just saved my life.”

  “It was the least I could do,” he replied, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

  We sat there in silence for a while, both stunned by the events that had played out.

  Terry was the first to make a move. He stood up and moved closer to me. He hesitated before sitting down at my side. I shuddered. He followed my gaze to the knife in his hand and quickly shoved it in his pocket out of sight.

  “Please, Gracie, you don’t need to be scared of me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  I studied him for a few seconds, trying to weigh him up. He seemed calm. Surely if he’d gone to the trouble of killing my attacker, he didn’t intend to harm me?

  “Who are you, really?” I asked, patting the tender neck on my skin, “and why are you in Terry’s body?”

  He squeezed his lips into a tight smile before taking a deep breath. “This may come as a surprise to you, Gracie…” he said, reaching his hand towards me. I refused to take it. He flinched at the rejection, but took a deep breath and carried on. “My real name is Brian. Brian Nicholls.”

  His eyes lingered on my face, watching for my reaction. I struggled to let the reality of the words sink in, and as they did I narrowed my eyes and glared at him.

  “You mean… as in Brian Nicholls, my Dad?”

  He nodded slowly.

  My hand flew up to my scar, and I shook my head. “No… No way… My dad is dead.”

  He opened his mouth to respond, but I just watched his lips moving, unable to comprehend anything else he said. I slid up the wall and scrambled to my feet. I needed to get away from him and his lies. I launched myself in the direction of the arch that would lead me back out into the street. But he was faster than me. He jumped up and grabbed my arms, forcing me to a standstill.

  His voice came calm and gentle. “It’s okay, Gracie. You’re safe, I promise you.”

  I stopped resisting. I was battered and weak from the earlier incident. I had nothing left.

  “I know it’s a shock love, but I really am your dad. You have to believe me.”

  He gently turned me round to face him.

  “You can’t be…” I said, catching my breath. My vision was blurred through tears. “…my dad’s been dead for years.”

  He let me cry for a while, and when he spoke, his voice came out in a half-whisper.

  “I know I’ve let you down kid, in the worst possible way… you, your mum, and Michelle. But I promise you I would never do anything to hurt any of you now.”

  At the mention of Mum and Michelle, something inside me snapped and I glared at him. “If you ever go near them again, I will kill you.”

  “Gracie, love, please let me explain.”

  I shook my head. I owed him nothing.

  “I know how you must feel about me, but please, at least give me five minutes and I promise I’ll walk away after if you want me to. You really do need to know this love.”

  I looked up at him, unsure of my next move. My head was spinning with all the chaos.

  “Please, Gracie, I promise I’ll never ask you for anything again.”

  I sank back against the wall and closed my eyes.

  “Thank you,” he said quietly.

  He cleared his throat. “You’ve got to understand, I never knew what I was… what I now know you are.”

  He studied me for a moment trying to gauge my expression, but I had no intention of making this easy for him.

  He sighed and carried on. “You know, when I first came back into your life, I dropped so many hints about being a Soul Protector, but you never picked up on any of them. I was convinced you didn’t have the gift.”

  “Gift? This is not a gift. It’s an affliction.”

  He looked at me and nodded sadly.

  “My life was pretty normal until I was about eighteen. I knew who I was, and where I was going, which isn’t bad for a teenager.” He forced a small laugh. When I didn’t join in, he dropped his smile, straightened up and carried on.

  “Everything changed when I was mucking about with my mates one day. Me and Taff were play-fighting. Taff had the most gorgeous girlfriend, Daphne, and I often wished I could swap places with him. Anyway, he tried to trip me up, so I spun round and got him in a head-lock and somehow I managed to switch into his body. I can still remember how shocked I was. It was terrifying and I didn’t even know if I was going to be able to switch back.”

  I shivered, as I thought of the similarity to my own introduction to switching.

  “To cut a long story short, it took me a couple of times before I knew how to do it properly, but even then I was still freaked out by the whole thing. I needed to confide in someone, try to make sense of it all, you know? I tried telling a couple of my mates, but they took the mickey. They all thought I was a weirdo.” He arched an eyebrow, and I wondered if that was something else I’d inherited from him.

  “So I had this special power, no-one believed me and I had no-one to share it with. I became obsessed with finding out more details, why it was happening and stuff.”

  He stopped talking for a moment and let out a long sigh.

  “While I was looking through a box of old photos and paperwork in the loft, I found my birth certificate. That’s when I found out the people I called mum and dad were my adopted parents. I had to read it over and over until it sank in. I couldn’t believe they never told me. I found out later the adoption wasn’t exactly legal. Mum and Dad were actually neighbours who took me in when my own parents died. I was just a baby.” He paused, waiting for me to catch up.

  “So, one of your real parents would have been a Soul Protector. They never got the chance to tell you?”

  He nodded. “I didn’t know that then, of course. Just finding out my parents had been lying to me was all too much, I couldn’t handle it. I ended up drinking to get me through the day. Soon I was having a drink just to get me out of bed,” he said, shaking his head.

  “Grandma and Granddad Nicholls tried hard to straighten me out, but how could they know what they were dealing with? I ended up stealing from them to buy the booze. That’s how low I sunk, Gracie.”

  His eyes started to fill up at the memory, and he frowned as he tried to hold in the emotion. I shifted my gaze, allowing him to discreetly wipe away the evidence. He blew out a deep breath and when I turned back, his expression had softened.

  “One day I was in the pub, on my own as usual, when a young woman walked in. She was beautiful, Gracie. She had a smile that lit up the room.”

  He began staring into the middle distance and a smile played on the corners of his mouth.

  “She came over and talked to me and it was like a breath of fresh air. She made me forget all about the crap that was going on.”

  He looked back at me. “That woman was your mum.”

  I felt the hairs on the back of my neck prickle. I didn’t like to think of him being anywhere near her.

  “She was amazing. Within weeks I’d proposed, and for some strange reason, she accepted. Being with her made me forget my problems and I gave up drinking altogether. After a few short months she fell pregnant, and when you were born I was the happiest man in the world...”

  I felt tears of my own starting to pool.

  “…and then three-and-a-half years later Michelle arrived. That should have been our happily-ever-after, but with a baby and a three year old to look after, your poor mum was run ragged. Instead of helping her, I resented the fact she wasn’t there for me as much.” His face creased, as if he was in pain.

  “I know I should have been man enough, but I needed all her time and attention to keep me on the straight and narrow. After all she’d done for me I should have been helping her for a change. Instead I started to pop down the pub of an evening.”

  “So you started drinking again?”

  “I know. I was an idiot. Before I knew it I was right back to square one.” A sol
itary tear was snaking its way down his cheek, but he didn’t seem bothered now.

  “I’m so ashamed of what I did to her, Gracie, and to you kids.”

  I started to chew my lip.

  “You have to understand I would never have laid a finger on any of you sober, but when I drank, I turned into an animal. I couldn’t even remember what I’d done to your Mum sometimes, not until she rang me from hospital anyway. I wanted to take my life so many times when I found out how badly I’d beaten her…”

  I shivered and crossed my arms to hug myself.

  “…and she was so forgiving, Gracie. When I’d apologise, she’d tell me she knew I could change. She’d take me back in and she’d have this look in her eyes, all full of hope and optimism for a fresh start. She believed in me, and she made me believe in myself. But it never lasted. I was way out of control. I shouldn’t have been allowed anywhere near you lot.”

  He stopped for a moment and forced a wobbly smile. Torment was painted across his features.

  “I’ve been living as Terry for years now, and for the last few years I’ve been completely sober. I know it’s wrong what I’m doing, but I can’t help myself.”

  “But how did you find us?”

  “I’d been trying to find your mum for ages and then I caught a lucky break. I sometimes go to visit Grandma Nicholls in a nursing home. She’s got dementia now and I have to pretend I’m an old family friend.”

  I winced as I thought of Grandma Nicholls. She belonged to a closed part of my life and I’d mentally filed her away years ago.

  “I hardly ever go there, it’s too dangerous for me, you know in case I get spotted by other Soul Protectors. Anyway, last time I went I bumped into Nancy, do you remember our old neighbour?”

  My eyes opened wider. “Nancy’s still alive?”

  “Yeah, she’s in her nineties now. She’s got dementia too. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I managed to get invited to her room for a chat. When she popped into the bathroom I found her address book, and there was your address.”

  I thought of all the effort we’d gone to, to keep the move confidential, and yet it had been so easy for him to find us.