Licked (L.A. Liaisons Book 1)

by Brooke Blaine

  I opened my mouth to speak, but he put his hand up.

  “You know what, it doesn’t even matter,” he said. “What I choose to do in my time away from you is mine, and if you can’t trust me enough to understand that, we have no business being together.”

  Those words were a hard slap across the face. “I…I do trust you. I just made a mistake. But can’t you see that you’re at fault here too? How can you say you want me in your life when you’re hiding this huge part of you?”

  “I’m not hiding anything from you. I have a past, just like you do, and all that heavy shit comes out eventually. Eventually, Ryleigh. When I’m ready to talk about it.”

  He stalked into the kitchen and grabbed his keys from the counter.

  “Wait, please don’t go,” I said, my voice cracking as I blocked him from the front door. “Please don’t be mad at me.”

  “Mad at you?” he scoffed. “The only person I’m mad at is me for thinking I’d finally found someone I wanted to spend time with and get to know. But this girl? The one standing in front of me? I don’t want to know her. This was a mistake.”

  My breath caught as he pushed past me, and I grabbed his arm. “What was a mistake? What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying this,” he said, pointing at me and then back at himself. “You and me. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  “A good idea,” I repeated, wrapping my arms around my waist as if I could hold myself together. My insides felt like Jell-O, like a wobbling mass that could tip over at any moment. “So, what, you want to end things? Break up? Is that what you’re saying?”

  “I need some space.”

  “Space like…permanently,” I said, not wanting to believe him, but I could see the disbelief and rage still warring in his eyes, in the set of his clenched jaw, in the tension rolling off his body in waves. And the sadness—there was a bit of that too, and that was the part that made my eyes sting with tears. He didn’t answer me, didn’t have to. His silence said enough.

  “I see.”

  “And that’s the thing. No, you don’t.” He turned his back on me and opened the front door before pausing. Then he looked back over his shoulder as if he wanted to say something else, but then shook his head as if he’d thought better of it.

  The door shut, heavy footsteps going down the stairs, and then another door opened and closed. The tears that had threatened to come out finally rolled down my face, and when my legs went unsteady, I reached for the door, resting my forehead on the cool surface.

  What just happened? What have I done?

  As quickly as our relationship had ignited, the flame had been snuffed out.

  Permanently.

  I WOKE UP numb the next morning. Actually, I shouldn’t say “woke up,” considering I didn’t get more than a half-hour of sleep all night. My mind was turning, I’d stayed sick to my stomach, and I was seriously considering calling in. To my own business. Which I’d never, ever done.

  Instead, I’d trudged to the shower and stayed under the hot water until it ran out. Then I put on black pedal pushers with a green and black polka dot halter and threw my hair up in a messy bun. Yes, messy. ’Cause why not?

  Luckily, I had just planned to work in the kitchen that day, so it wasn’t like I had to talk to anyone. Or look toward where I knew Hunter would be all day. I was in the safety zone—at least I was until I covered Amber’s lunch break.

  “Good afternoon,” I said, addressing the young couple that walked in from where I was manning the front register. “Ready to Get Licked?”

  Geez, I was really phoning it in today, my words coming out less than enthused. With the contest a week away, I couldn’t afford to have my head out of the game, so I plastered a smile on my face and willed it to stay there.

  “What can I get for you two today?” I asked.

  “Something to share, I think,” the woman said, smiling up at the man. His arm was around her, and he gave her a quick squeeze.

  “Anything you want,” he said.

  Oh, gag. Fucking gag me with a spoon already.

  “Ooh…what’s a Magnum bowl?” she asked, giggling.

  “Our specialty Magnum bowls are the largest size you can get, and we currently have four different options. I’m guessing neither of you are here for the Heartbreak Special or the Pity Party for One, so I’d go with either The Diabetes or the Greedy Motherfucker.”

  “Wow…um.” The woman glanced at her partner. “I think the Greedy one sounds better, what do you think?”

  “That one works for me.”

  “Great,” I said, not feeling so great at all. “Just let me know which flavor you’d prefer for your handfuls of balls.”

  They both chuckled, the perfect picture of happily dating bliss. Was this what Hunter and I had looked like? Had people wanted to beat us in the face with an ice cream scooper too? I guess I’d never know.

  Once they’d chosen a flavor, I scooped a massive ton of ice cream onto the frozen slab of granite we usually kept in the freezer. Making a large indention in the middle, I began to pile spoonfuls of every topping we offered on top. And I do mean every topping. It wasn’t called the Greedy Motherfucker for nothing. Then I pulled out what I referred to as “the sledgehammer” and began beating the ingredients into the ice cream to mix them together.

  Hmm. Maybe this was the perfect way to release some of my tension. I could offer a special on this one today to get more people to let me smash stuff. Good plan.

  The pounding continued as I hammered away, still going even after the ice cream was thoroughly combined.

  A hand touched my arm. “I can get it from here,” Zoe said. She pushed me back and scooped the battered dessert into a dish bigger than my head and piled it high with whipped cream, nuts, and cherries before sliding it over the counter. “Enjoy,” she said, before grabbing my arm and tugging me into the kitchen.

  “What are you doing?” she said.

  “I was making a Greedy Motherfucker, what did it look like I was doing?”

  “Wallowing. Taking your mood out on poor, defenseless piles of goodness. Acting like a crazy person.” She threw her hands up in the air. “Take your pick.”

  “I’m not wallowing.”

  “You are, and I’m sorry, but you need to take the day off.”

  My hands went to my hips. “You can’t tell me to go home.”

  “I’m not saying you have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”

  “Not going home,” I said, narrowing my eyes.

  “Fine. Get in the back booth.”

  “What? I’m not getting in the back booth.”

  “Yes, you are. I can’t have you on the floor when you’re getting this much pleasure out of beating the ice cream to a pulp, and since you hired me to manage your store, I insist. Now go.” She pushed me toward the front, and I shuffled away.

  “You know, I could fire you,” I mumbled, untying my apron and hanging it on the rack.

  “You could try,” she called out over her shoulder.

  Slumping into the only booth that had a black tabletop, I gave a heavy sigh and rested my chin on my palms.

  There I was. Relegated to the “Pity Party For One” booth. Not a place I’d ever expected to find myself, but Zoe was right—it was sorely needed today. This was special priority seating, outfitted with headphones should you want to listen to the sad crooning of Adele, a copy of The Notebook in paperback, and a box of soft tissues, and a complimentary glass of wine was provided with all orders.

  Hey, we have to take care of each other. Looked like it was my turn.

  Zoe arrived a few minutes later with one of our four Magnum bowls. This one was what we called The Heartbreak Special, and it was a massive dessert with a serving size that could feed four people. But when you’re upset, come on, that’s exactly what you need. Ice cream, ice cream, and more ice cream. Oh, and ice cream.

  “Don’t forget my wine,” I said to Z as she walked away.

  My spoon slice
d into a brownie batter ball, and I shoveled a big chunk in my mouth. Mmm, this totally helps.

  Well, almost. As long as I could find a way to distract myself from thinking I might’ve blown something amazing, I’d be okay. The only problem was that I couldn’t get the disappointed look in Hunter’s eyes out of my mind. Or the way he’d shaken his head in disbelief that I’d snuck around to follow him.

  Ugh, I thought around another mouthful. Stupid stupid stupid.

  But let’s get real here. I couldn’t completely blame myself. Being burned in prior relationships will have you a little untrusting, sure, but also…would it have been so hard for him to say, hey, there’s this kid I pick up a couple times a week, and oh yeah, she’s mine. I mean, was that such a big deal?

  A nagging feeling in my gut was telling me there was still more he wasn’t saying, but I doubted I’d have a chance to ask now. One thing I did know—he wouldn’t be coming through that tarp today.

  I ate until I got a brain freeze, and when I sat back, I heard a familiar voice. One I definitely wasn’t expecting.

  “Is there room here for two?” Cameron was looking down at me, dressed in a finely pressed suit, his perfect blond head of hair cocked to the side.

  “Hey,” I said, and that was all I could manage around a.) being stunned to see him, and b.) having a numb tongue. I motioned to the seat opposite me for him to sit down.

  He slid into the booth, unbuttoning his jacket and looking around the store before his gaze settled on mine. “You hiding back here?”

  “Not hiding,” I said, poking at the gargantuan scoops still left in my bowl. How the hell did people eat all this? I felt like I was drowning in cookie dough, brownies, and fudge, which, let’s be honest, is not the worst way to die. I took another bite.

  “Then why did Z tell me to come find you at ‘The Pit of Despair’?”

  “Pity Party for One,” I said. “It’s just been a rough day. You have those, right? Bad days.”

  “Any particular reason for that?”

  I narrowed my eyes, studying him. “What are you doing here, by the way? Not that I’m not glad to see you, I am, just…well, I haven’t seen you since—”

  “Since you broke my heart for my best friend?” he teased, and then chuckled. “Nah, I’m just kidding. I was hungry and in the neighborhood, so I thought I’d stop by.”

  Mhmm, suuuuure. “And that would have nothing to do with someone putting you up to it.”

  He put his hand over his heart, faking a wounded expression. “That hurts.”

  I lifted my eyebrows and waited.

  “Yeah, I might’ve heard something went down last night.”

  “Hah!” I said, wagging my spoon at him. “I knew it.”

  “But I would’ve come by anyway. You really do have the best ice cream I’ve ever had. Not to mention, the owner isn’t too bad.”

  “Dammit. Why do you make me feel like such an asshole?”

  “How do I do that?”

  “You’re just so fucking nice.”

  His lids lowered to half-mast and he said, “I’m not always nice.”

  “And some lucky girl is gonna reap the benefits of that, trust me.” I sighed, shaking my head. “I fucked it all up.”

  “Did you really follow him?”

  I groaned and put my head in my hands.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said. “But I’m sure there’s more to the story. My guess is he wasn’t exactly forthcoming about where he snuck off to, and that made you suspicious.”

  “You’d guess right.”

  “I’d also wager when you confronted him about it, he got defensive and didn’t tell you the whole story.”

  “The whole story? I didn’t get a story, period.”

  He sat back, stroking his broad jaw. “Look, it’s not my place to say this, but I know Hunter has feelings for you, and I’ve seen that guy torture himself enough the past few years. He’s been happier the last few weeks than I’ve ever seen him, and I’m not about to let him throw that away.”

  I waited patiently for him to continue.

  “Back during my first year of college when I met him, he’d just moved here from Chicago and was working in the construction shop on the studio lot where I’d been interning. He was like the older brother I never had, and he really looked out for me while I was still green and paying my dues being the intern bitch.”

  “I’d like to have seen you be anyone’s bitch,” I said with a small smile.

  He shook his head. “It wasn’t pretty. We’d go out, and I was still exploring the whole dating thing after Lauren had gone off with that loser, but Hunter was pretty serious with this one girl. Lily was her name. He’d met her in Chicago while she was still in school, and when she moved back to L.A. to be closer to her family, he followed her. I used to give him such hell for that. And I admit it, I was an asshole. I just wanted to party and meet people and thought he should do the same, but this girl had a kid. A baby, really, by someone she’d met before Hunter.”

  A baby…before Hunter… The pieces were starting to fit together.

  “So what happened?”

  “You mind?” he asked, indicating my bowl of melting ice cream. I shook my head and pushed it toward him. “You were putting it to waste. I couldn’t help myself.” He took a bite and moaned around the spoon. “Seriously, woman, I’m gonna have to hit the gym harder if I come here.”

  “Oh, please.” I tapped my foot impatiently. “So…how long were they together?”

  “Something like two years, maybe,” he said, licking fudge off his top lip.

  “And then they broke up? Was it recently or something?”

  He shook his head. “No. Not recently. About”—he thought back—“not quite four years ago now.”

  “Four years…I don’t understand. Why are you telling me all this?”

  Cameron pushed the bowl to the side and leaned forward, resting on his forearms. “They were driving home from her brother’s place. He’d made a bed or something for Abby, and they were bringing it back. Lily had been begging Hunter to let her drive his new truck, and it had been this kind of running joke since he wouldn’t let anyone even touch it. But that day he let her drive…and there was an accident.”

  “An accident like…like she…” My voice trailed off when the expression on his face remained bleak. Oh…not just an accident. The look in his eyes told me she hadn’t made it.

  I swallowed, my chest tight. “And her baby was—”

  “Not with them at the time. Abby, the girl you saw, she was with her grandparents that day.” He rubbed his jaw. “Not such a baby anymore, I guess. She’d be six or seven now.”

  My stomach dropped. No wonder Hunter hadn’t said anything. That was a lot to drop on someone you’d known less than a couple months.

  “The grandparents have sole custody, and Lily’s brother lives about three hours away, so Hunter helps out when he can. Picks her up from school, watches her so they can get a break. She was so young when she lost her mom, but Hunter is familiar to her, and that helped at first.”

  I kept shaking my head, sadness, sympathy, and shame overwhelming me.

  “As you can imagine,” Cameron continued, “he wasn’t in good shape after. I moved all his stuff into my place so I could at least make sure he ate, and didn’t drink himself to death. It took a long time for him to heal, but I don’t think he’ll ever get over the guilt of what happened, of letting Lily drive, even though it wasn’t his fault.”

  I had no idea what to say. How had he gone through all that, losing the person he loved and being responsible—in his mind, anyway—for it?

  “There’s a reason I told you all this, and it’s also the reason why I let go of you without a fight. Hunter… I mean, I guess women think he’s a good-looking guy because he gets approached all the time, but he doesn’t really play into all that. I’m not lying when I tell you you’re the first woman I’ve seen him pursue in years.”

  “Me?” That sh
ocked me like I’d been zapped with a Taser. “Why?”

  “You don’t see yourself right, do you?” he asked, shaking his head. “You’re special, Ryleigh. And hell, so is he under all the cocky bravado he pulls off so well.”

  “But… But he doesn’t want to be with me. He told me that much last night.”

  “We all say stupid shit when we’re mad.” Then he raised an eyebrow. “We also make stupid mistakes and follow people because we’re scared of getting hurt.”

  “So you’re saying I should beg him to take me back? That he’d want me to?”

  “I think that’d be a good start.” He spread his hands wide. “Fix it.”

  “Easy as that?”

  He laughed. “No, I didn’t say it’d be easy. He’s more stubborn than a horse’s ass, so he’ll give you a hell of a fight.”

  “But worth it,” I said quietly, tracing the table with my fingertips. “He’s worth it.” I looked up then. “Thank you for telling me.”

  “You’re welcome. I knew I had to get involved when I saw the doors threatening to come off the hinges.”

  “He was pretty mad, huh?”

  “Yeah, he wasn’t in the best mood last night, and that’s putting it mildly.”

  I sighed and dropped my head onto the back of the booth.

  Fix it. How was I supposed to do that? I had no idea, but one thing was for sure—I was gonna try like hell.

  A FEW DAYS had passed, and I still hadn’t spoken to Hunter. Now, before you get all judgy on me that I hadn’t moved forward with a plan because I was a chicken shit, I’ll have you know the silence was part of the plan.

  I needed to give him some distance, some time to cool off, and then I’d make my move. It was a genius idea, really, even if it was killing me not to walk the few short steps next door. Lucky for me, we would be purposely running into each other today. Licked…After Dark was finished, and there was a walk-through scheduled for this afternoon, according to Zoe, who’d been acting as messenger.