Swallow Me Whole: A Friends To Lovers Romance

by Gemma James

  We’ll get there eventually—I know it in the trenches of my soul. But when we do, it’ll happen on a level that’s worlds away from a simple lay. As my heart tumbles over its hasty beat, she inhales a long, deep breath then lets it out. Her body is heavy in my embrace, her limbs still weak from the intensity of what I put her through.

  And my cock is fucking hard as hell, nestled against the small of her back. She shifts, and I bite my lip to keep from groaning.

  “Ash…do you want me to…? I mean, I can…if you want.”

  A grin takes hold of my mouth. “Are you asking if I want you to get me off?” It’s kind of cute how she stumbles over her words when it comes to anything relating to sex.

  “Yeah.”

  “As tempting as that sounds, I just want you to relax. I can wait awhile longer.” I cup water in my hands and release it over her tits. She’s got beautiful breasts; pale with a hint of freckles in the valley between them. Exquisite roundness that call to my palms. I weigh them in my hands, thumbs sweeping across her nipples until her head lolls against my shoulder. Eyes drifting shut, her lips part on a sigh.

  Impossibly, I get even harder.

  “Sawyer,” I say through gritted teeth.

  “Hmm?”

  “You realize everything has changed, right?”

  Her breath seems to stall in her lungs as she flicks her gaze to my face. “Nothing has to change, Ash.”

  “Tell me something,” I whisper, inching my mouth toward hers. “Tell me that despite the gazillion orgasms I forced on you, tell me you don’t want me still.”

  Avoiding my eyes, she says, “I can’t tell you that.”

  “Didn’t think so.” I push on her shoulders until she’s sitting. “Get up.”

  As she makes it to her feet, legs visibly trembling, water pours down her skin in rivulets, following the sexy contour of her ass. “Do you want me to get out?”

  “I want you to straddle my lap.”

  She glances at me from over her shoulder. Even from where I’m sitting, I spot the gooseflesh on her skin. She opens her mouth, and I know she’s about to argue with me.

  “I’m not asking, Sadie.”

  God, she gives in so fucking easy. Next thing I know, I’ve got her warm body in my arms, her knees straddling me.

  Her pussy sliding over my throbbing dick.

  Grabbing her by the nape, I hiss in a breath. Our eyes lock. I tug on her neck, bringing her closer, and the tips of her breasts smash against my chest.

  “I have no words,” I begin, swallowing hard, “to describe how watching you come undone made me feel tonight. I’ve never felt so connected to anyone before.” We’re breathing the same air, sharing the same choppy breaths. “I know you feel it too.”

  Her gaze falters, kicking my ire into gear.

  “Don’t you dare deny it, Sawyer.” I watch, mesmerized, as she runs her tongue over her lower lip.

  “I won’t deny it.”

  “Then fucking kiss me.”

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Sadie

  Jesus. The thought of a kiss has never seemed so dangerous. I’m transfixed by his mouth, and every nerve ending in my body is on fire.

  “Don’t make me beg,” he says, his grip at my nape tugging me another inch closer. He brings his other hand to my face and sweeps a thumb across my lips. “My cock knows this mouth better than I do. I need to taste you. Fucking kiss me.”

  I exhale my nervousness across his lips, and the next instant, my mouth is on his. That first bit of contact sends a spark through me, trilling through my veins like a live wire. The kiss starts off as a hint of touch, a mere brush of yearning mouths. A prelude of what’s to come.

  “Ash,” I breathe, equal amounts of scared and turned-on.

  “Let me taste you,” he murmurs.

  It’s almost too much, feeling him hard underneath me, cocooned by the warm, bubbling water as we approach the forbidden precipice. I’m not sure how we ended up here, but I can’t find a single reason to regret bringing my lips to his. Kissing him is as essential as the blood rushing in my veins.

  The next few seconds pass in slow-mo. Our lids drift shut—his first, then mine—and only then do I tease the seam of his mouth with my tongue. That’s when the spark bursts into an explosion. That’s when he closes his fist around my heart. That’s when the protective dam inside me splits wide open and lets him in.

  His mouth opens under mine, and our tongues come together like desperate lovers. Before long I’m whimpering, moaning, unable to get enough of his kiss, of his taste, of the way he groans in the back of his throat.

  As if he’ll die if we stop kissing.

  He winds an arm around me, ensnaring me inside the cage of his embrace, and moans into my mouth. And I surrender everything that I am, lose the last bits of myself with every sweep of his tongue against mine. I grip his hair as our mouths fight for power, tongues thrashing. Dueling. Mating.

  Holding me by the waist, he controls the rhythm of my hips as I slide up and down his shaft, slick with the desire roaring through me. I can’t control it any more than I can control how I feel about him.

  As he inches back, he catches my lower lip between his teeth before breaking our kiss, and I watch in awe as he rests his head against the tub, his mouth a tight line that smothers a moan, his eyes squeezed shut as if he’s in agony.

  I’ve never wanted anyone so much, have never let pure instinct guide me as I do now. Pushing to my knees, I fit my entrance over the crown of his cock and begin to inch down his shaft. I’ve barely taken in the tip, but the pain is making me dizzy.

  “Fucking hell, Sadie. Are you trying to tempt me to death?”

  Biting my lip, I shake my head.

  The pads of his fingers press into my skin as he holds me still. “God, don’t move.”

  His words accomplish the opposite, and I push off his chest and launch myself out of the tub before I embarrass myself more. As I pull a towel off the rack and wrap the fluffy terry cotton around my shaking body, I sense the onset of tears. They’re going to burn something fierce.

  Just as his rejection is.

  Water sloshes, and he steps out of the tub before winding his arms around me.

  “Sadie, don’t.”

  “Don’t, what? Everything’s fine.”

  “You’re a shitty liar.”

  I close my eyes and slump against him. He knows me too well—better than my own family does. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I…”

  “Why you tried to fuck me in the tub?”

  I struggle to free myself from his embrace and turn to face him, tears be damned. “It was stupid. One minute we’re kissing, and the next—”

  We’re kissing.

  Just like that, his mouth shuts me up. He thrusts his tongue inside, again and again until I’m dizzy and breathless. Then, as abruptly as it happened, it ends.

  Ash cradles my face between his large hands. “I’m not rejecting you.” He pauses, his bright eyes so full of passion that I lose my breath. “When I get inside of you for the first time, it’ll be because you’re ready.” He leans down, an inch from my lips. “It’ll happen because you can’t stand the thought of it not happening.”

  He’s not talking in ifs. His when is spoken in a tone of certainty.

  I feel that same certainty sharpen inside my soul, and I know without a doubt that I want Ashton to be my first. “I want it to be you.”

  “It will be me, but we’re not rushing this. I don’t want any regrets between us.”

  “Me either.”

  He hesitates. “I don’t want a one-time thing, Sadie.”

  “What are you saying?”

  He slants an eyebrow. “I think you know what I’m saying.”

  “Spell it out for me, Ash.”

  “I want you.”

  “I’m giving you me. You’re going to have a part of me that no one else will ever have.”

  “I’m not just talking about your body. I want you…” He pl
aces a hand over my rapid heartbeat. “I want your goddamn heart.”

  Ducking out of his arms, I seek escape in the bedroom, but he’s right on my heels, tugging at my towel until it slides from my body. I turn and glare at him, hands covering my breasts.

  His blue eyes are full of turbulence as he drops the towel he stole from me onto the floor with a deliberate motion I can’t ignore. Unashamed, he stands in front of me, completely naked.

  “Don’t hide your tits from me. You’ve got nothing underneath those hands I haven’t seen.” He pauses, taking a step toward me. “Touched and tasted.” Two more steps brings him within arm’s reach. “Come to bed with me. We’ll order room service and neck all night.”

  As I lower my hands, I can’t help but laugh. “I thought you said we weren’t in high school anymore.”

  “This is far from high school. This is a hotel room,” he says, closing the distance until his chest is brushing my aching nipples. “With a huge, comfortable bed. We’re not in the back of a car, and you can be certain I’ll call you tomorrow. And the day after that…” Slowly, he lowers his face and brushes his lips against mine. “And every one after that.”

  Now that I’ve given in and gotten to know his lips, I can’t seem to get enough. Grasping his wet hair, I reel him in the rest of the way and attack his mouth. The groan that rumbles from his throat is an addictive and vulnerable sound I’ll never tire of dragging from him. Step by step, he backs me toward the bed, then he scoops me up, naked skin against naked skin, and falls with me onto the mattress. I wrap my legs around him as he blankets my body, his erection hot and heavy between my thighs, just begging for release inside me.

  “I want you, Ash.” The declaration escapes my mouth with a gasp, and I wish I could yank it back.

  “You’re testing my will here.” He leans his forehead against mine, breaths a rapid succession of shudders against my well-kissed lips. “I’m not fucking you. I want so much more than that.”

  That scares the shit out of me. Ashton doesn’t do relationships. “You’re going to break my heart.”

  “The last thing I want to do is break your heart.”

  “You might not mean to, but I know you.” I draw in a deep breath. “What if we made a huge mistake?”

  “We are not a mistake.”

  The hurt in his expression is too much, so I shutter my eyes. “Ash…you’re my friend.”

  “Uh-uh, look at me,” he demands, prompting me to lock my gaze on his. “Do I look like a man who thinks of you as a friend?”

  He looks like a man who wants to swallow me whole. This conversation is getting too heavy…or maybe I’m just not ready for it yet. I veer my attention to the clock on the nightstand. It’s almost eight, and my stomach rumbles, reminding me I haven’t eaten dinner. And it’s the perfect distraction, the perfect interruption to cool this thing between us before it explodes.

  “You mentioned room service.”

  He studies me for several seconds, gaze wandering over every inch of my face, then with a sigh, he pushes off the mattress. “Okay, Sawyer. We’ll do things your way for now, but don’t think this is going away.” With a smirk, he glances at his erection, making it clear he’s talking about more than just the issue of us.

  Not that there is an us.

  As he grabs his jeans off the floor, I go for my dress, but his words stop me. “Don’t even think about it.”

  “I’m not going to sit here naked while they bring in room service.”

  “No one’s seeing a thing. Now get back in bed and let me worry about dinner.”

  “Are you ordering dessert too?” I can’t help a flirty grin from spreading across my face. I settle against the headboard and pull the sheet above my breasts, and he returns my grin.

  “I think we both know what’s for dessert, sweetheart.” Blue eyes sparkling, he zips up his pants but leaves the button undone. He’s still hard behind that zipper, and unashamed about it as he picks up the hotel phone to put in our dinner order.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Ashton

  Sadie’s licking the honey sauce off her fingers from the wings we just gorged on, and I’m transfixed by the show. Before she sucks her ring finger into her mouth, I grab her hand and close my lips around the sticky, sweet digit. Her eyes darken, and I let her finger go with a pop.

  “Tastes much better on you.” I lean back on the bed and flaunt my erection, having stripped as soon as the door shut behind the guy who brought us dinner. Clothes aren’t needed between Sadie and me.

  Not tonight.

  We stare at each other for several moments, but eventually she loses the battle of wills. Her attention lowers to my lap, and I watch her watch me, wondering if she’ll take the initiative.

  Fuck, I hope she does. I want her mouth on me more than anything, but I want her to take the lead this time. At the thought of her lips sliding down my shaft, my cock twitches.

  Sadie licks her lips, and a second later, her eyes flick up to meet mine. “Is it painful?”

  I bite back a smirk. She’s so damn innocent in ways that continue to surprise me. “I’m not answering that. You either want to suck me off, or you don’t. The choice is yours.”

  Her brows form perfect arches. “Thought you said you were calling the shots?”

  Christ, I can’t help but take that as a challenge. “I am, Sawyer, and the next move is yours.”

  Her bravado slips, and she lowers her gaze to her lap.

  I tilt her chin up until she has no choice but to look at me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  I study the wideness of her green eyes, the way she’s looking at me without really looking at me, the way she’s almost tugging on her lower lip with her teeth, and that’s when I know she’s spooked.

  “You’re scared to make the next move.”

  “I’m not scared.”

  “Prove it. If you want me, you’re gonna have to come get me.”

  Our eyes lock as she reaches out a tentative hand and folds her fingers around me. I draw in a breath, let it out, then swallow a groan. Hell, I don’t want to interrupt—not when her hand is gliding up and down my shaft. Every time she reaches the head, she drags her thumb over the slit, and I almost come from that alone.

  “Jesus,” I groan on her fourth trip to my throbbing crown. There’s a new boldness in her expression that excites me too much, and she’s got me too fucking close to embarrassing myself.

  “You want my mouth on you?” Her voice is soft and coy, all traces of fear gone. Hearing that bit of confidence creep into her tone is more arousing than it should be.

  “Hell yes, I want your mouth on me.”

  Every morning and every night for the rest of my life.

  She holds my attention captive as she leans down and closes her lips around the head. The fraying thread of my will breaks, and I push my fingers into her hair, urging her mouth further down my shaft. I’ve lost control, and now I’m stealing hers.

  “God, Sadie. I can’t stop this. Gonna…fucking…daaaamn.”

  She holds my gaze as she deep-throats me, and my control snaps. A long moan strangles from my throat. Lids at half-mast, I take in the satisfied curve of her mouth as she drags the orgasm from me with triumph in her eyes. She licks my cock clear to the tip then settles next to me on the bed.

  I crook my finger. “Uh-uh. Get your sexy little ass over here,” I say before pulling her over my lap. I squeeze her left cheek. “You deserve a spanking.”

  “Why? What’d I do?”

  “You made me blow my load before I was ready.”

  “That wasn’t my fault!”

  “Oh, it absolutely was.” My hand leaves a firm, satisfying smack that echoes through the suite, but the best part is how she jumps.

  “I think you enjoy a good spanking.” I land another one, harder this time.

  “Ow!”

  As she wiggles atop my lap, my semi thinks about growing into a hard piston again. But her mouth isn’
t going to cut it because I want more.

  I want everything.

  Before I do something stupid, I push her off of me. And maybe my frustration is apparent, because she protests with hurt coloring her features, the sharp angles of her face an abstract masterpiece of rejection. To reassure her, I lean over and take her by the mouth, and Sadie melts against me, her tongue eager against mine as we tumble to the mattress. Her body blankets mine, surrounds me in her seductive heat, and we become a tangle of limbs, our hands roaming feverish skin, mouths fused together as she straddles my thighs, her tits smashing against my chest.

  I’m dying to thrust inside her. The need is a beast clawing my gut.

  Get a grip, asshole.

  The mating of our mouths will have to be enough for now. The touch of hands, the sharpness of fingernails. She inches back, and her locks fall in a red curtain around my face. “Were you serious about necking all night?”

  “If that’s what you want.” It might kill me, but I’ll do it.

  Tucking her bottom lip between her teeth, she searches my face. Her hair is wild and disheveled—just the way I like it—but her expression is pure seriousness.

  “I want more, Ash.”

  My dick springs to life. So does my heart.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I want you.”

  “You’re on top right now, sweetheart. I don’t think I’m going anywhere.”

  “That’s not what I mean.” Closing her eyes, she sucks in a shaky breath. “I want to be with you.”

  I lift an unsteady hand and slide it along her cheek, scared to believe I’m reading her right. “You mean a relationship?”

  “We can’t go back. Just friends is long gone.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  She’s still gnawing on that lip, face pinched in fear, and I hate myself for making her so scared and uncertain about my intentions.

  “You’ve got no reason to be afraid.” Lifting my head, I press my forehead against hers. “Look at the affect you have on me. I’m fucking shaking.” I run my thumb across her lips. “No one’s ever made me feel the way you do, Sadie. I’m yours, all the way.”