Swallow Me Whole: A Friends To Lovers Romance

by Gemma James

  The end of the day arrives quicker than I expect it to, and I’m heading toward the door to Cash’s office when I spot him exiting the elevator. The sight of him is still a shock to my system, and I let my attention fall to the file in my hands.

  “I compiled the info you wanted,” I say, holding out the folder. “Is there anything else you want me to do before I go?”

  He doesn’t say anything at first, and that prompts me to raise my eyes to his. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was silently laughing at me.

  “I’m sure I can come up with a few ideas,” he says, his teasing tone throwing me off.

  “Um…okay. I can stick around if you need…” I trail off, taking in his black T-shirt. “You changed your clothes.” The words tumble from my mouth before I can stop them. Cheeks flaming, I shoot a surreptitious glance around us, thankful that most people have already gone home, no doubt eager to begin the weekend.

  “You seem like an observant girl,” he says, his mouth curving into a grin that puts that irresistible dimple on display, “but I’m pretty sure this is the same shirt and jeans I put on this morning.”

  Is he fucking with me?

  I narrow my eyes and study him. Something is definitely off. No, something is missing.

  Widening his grin, he holds out a hand. “I’m Kaden, the boss man’s brother, and you must be new.”

  I’m pretty sure my mouth is hanging open, so I force it shut as I slide my hand into his. And that’s the instant I know; he’s definitely not Cash because the electric shock I get from touching my new boss is absent.

  “I’m sorry,” I say, breaking the handshake. “I didn’t know he had a twin brother.”

  “No need to apologize. It’s a mistake people often make.”

  “Well, I can see that happening a lot. The two of you are nearly identical.” Identical except for the way they each affect me.

  “Nearly…as in I’m better looking?” He’s still smiling, obviously teasing, but I’m struck with how different he is from Cash. He’s openly playful, where his brother’s sense of humor is hidden under layers of intensity and a serious demeanor.

  And Kaden’s eyes might be the same stormy color as Cash’s, but they don’t smolder. They don’t send my heart into palpitations with a single glance.

  Footsteps sound behind me, and I sense Cash before he speaks. “You wish you were better looking,” he ribs his brother, and I wonder if the presence of him will ever stop tingling down my spine. “I see you’ve met Jules.” His palm grazes my lower back, and the contact is light and brief—the type of touch acquaintances share without a second thought. The fleeting warmth of Cash’s hand shouldn’t make me clench my thighs together, but that’s what the brush of his fingers does to me. Even worse, I’m not sure if he realized he touched me at all.

  “We haven’t met officially, but I’m sure she’d like to stab me since I let her think I was you for a minute. Sorry, little brother. Couldn’t help myself.”

  I turn to my boss, folder in hand. “I was on my way to give this to you.”

  “Thank you.” His voice is deep and soft all at once, and I swallow hard as he takes the file from me.

  “I figured you’d want to approve it before I fax it over.”

  “I trust your judgment,” he says, handing me the file without taking a single peek. “You’ve done great this week, Jules.”

  The air is thick with tension, and I sense there is so much more he wants to say. But neither of us are able to go there. Not now. Not ever.

  “I’ll just send it off then,” I say before heading down the hall. Their voices fade, but I make out Kaden mentioning a birthday dinner coming up at their parents place. As I insert the documents into the fax machine, tapping my nails on the counter as I wait for the papers to go through, I wonder when his birthday is, and how old Cash will be. I’d put him in his late twenties.

  By the time I reach the reception area again, Cash and his brother are nowhere in sight. I’m not sure why I’m disappointed. The less of him I see, the better. Especially if he’s going to touch me every time we come into contact—which is going to be a lot. There’s no getting around that. Interacting with the man is part of the job.

  But damn, the heat of his touch is still burning the small of my back. I escape into the safety of my office and stand against the door for a few moments, one hand on my chest as my heart flutters out of control.

  It’s then I admit I’ve been fooling myself all week. There’s no way this will work.

  He gets under my skin like no other man. Not Chris. Not Perry. There’s something about Cash that annihilates my will to do the right thing. When I look into his eyes, the world fades away. Professionalism and propriety are fruitless.

  And that wedding band on his finger doesn’t matter to the furious pace of my heartbeat. But it matters to the side of me that isn’t led around by my treacherous heart. Taking a deep breath, I force my feet to move to my desk. After I file away the folder and grab my purse, I head for the door.

  This will get easier with time. It’s only been a few days. Eventually, the butterflies will stop. They have to, because wanting a man I can’t have absolutely sucks, and I swore to myself I wouldn’t do this again.

  I open the door and halt in my tracks. Cash is exiting his office, alone. The shadows of emerging twilight have seeped into the building, and no one else is around to offer a buffer between us. We both freeze for a few seconds, as if cast under a spell.

  Cash breaks it by tilting his head toward the elevator. “C’mon, I’ll walk you out.”

  Giving a slight nod, I follow him. “I would have never guessed you were a twin,” I say as we wait.

  “Guilty as charged.” His smile puts me at ease, and I finally relax in his presence.

  Maybe this won’t be so bad. Maybe we can set aside this insane attraction and find solid ground.

  Ground that doesn’t involve us rolling around on it naked.

  The ding of the lift evaporates that dangerous fantasy. “You guys must be really close.” There’s a bit of envy in my tone. I’ve tried for years to relate to Brit, but Mom pretty much brought a hammer down on any chance of that happening. They’re the tight duo, and I’ve never been allowed inside their world of shopping, hair, and all things fashion. Mom gave up trying to groom me for “greater things” a long time ago. And in her language, greater things meant a rich husband and a size two figure.

  Cash gestures for me to go first. “We were close growing up, but the last few years we’ve followed separate paths. That’s life, I guess.”

  “Did you ever switch places when you were younger?”

  “No,” he says with a laugh. “We were tempted a couple of times, but Kaden and I worked too hard at differentiating ourselves to blow it by confusing people.”

  “That makes sense. The resemblance is astonishing.”

  As the elevator starts to descend, Cash gives me a heated look. “Did you really think he was me?”

  I nibble on my lip, thinking back to that initial, strange encounter with Kaden. “I thought you changed clothes at first, but something was…different.”

  “Different how?” He’s leaning against the other side of the elevator, holding onto the grab-handle behind him with both hands. I watch as his fingers flex around the metal bar, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s holding on so tightly because he wants to close the distance between us. God knows I do.

  I force my gaze to his. “We promised we wouldn’t do this.”

  “Do what, Jules?”

  God, please stop saying my name like that.

  I’m convinced he can make a woman come with words alone.

  “Cross the line.”

  Dragging a hand through his hair, he mumbles something that sounds like a curse. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  I bite my tongue, because I’m too close to telling him that I’m far from uncomfortable. If anything, I’m blazing from the inside out in the m
ost delicious of ways. I eye him for a second as the numbers count down above the doors. Part of me wishes we can stay in here alone for hours.

  “I saw your wife today.” Bringing her up is like claws on a chalkboard to my sanity, but considering the sexual tension between us, a dose of reality is much-needed.

  “That would make one of us.”

  “She seems very busy.” I’ve only spotted her a handful of times all week.

  “She is. We barely see each other at all, at work or at home.” His steely gaze is pinning me to the wall. “But I see you.”

  Line crossed.

  My pounding heart doesn’t seem to give a shit. A ding announces our arrival on the atrium level, and I’m saved from having to reply. Ever the gentlemen, he allows me to go first.

  “How are you getting home?” he asks as we weave a path to the front entrance.

  “My friend is picking me up.” Lesley’s been giving me a ride all week, but hopefully that will change soon, since I’ve begun hunting for apartments in the downtown area.

  He follows me through the sliding doors of Mont Center, and we come to a stop on the sidewalk out front. Lesley is idling in a no parking zone, texting while she waits.

  “That’s my ride.” I point to the shiny red Bug.

  “I guess I’ll see you on Monday then.”

  “Yeah,” I say as he takes a step toward me, and I’m reminded of that moment in the airport when he kissed me on the cheek. But instead of reaching for me, he shoves his hands into his pockets and says goodbye with a simple nod.

  Truth is, he doesn’t have to say a word. We want each other, and that’s not going to go away, no matter how much I kid myself it will. As I slide into the passenger seat of Lesley’s car, I mentally kick myself for accepting the job.

  Wanting what I can’t have sucks, all right; it’s sucking away my resolve to do the right thing.

  11. Chance Encounter

  Jules

  “I can’t believe you’re not going to be my roomie anymore.” Les flops onto the mattress in my new bedroom with a dramatic sigh. “You didn’t have to move out so soon, you know.” She’s over the moon about my new job, but the end of our slumber party is making her sad.

  Truth be told, it’s making me a little sad too.

  Hanging up a dress in my dinky closet, I shoot her a smile. “It’s much closer to work,” I point out. “Besides, I had to find my own place eventually.”

  “I know. I just thought eventually would be a while longer. God, I’m going to miss your face first thing in the morning.” She takes a look around my bedroom. “You know, this place is kinda small. Are you sure you’re going to be okay here?”

  “Seriously, Les?” I laugh, raising an incredulous brow. “I’ve had my shit all over your room for the past few weeks. Why are you not celebrating getting your space back?”

  Lesley sits up suddenly. “Hey, that’s a fantastic idea. We should go out tonight,” she says, her tone brightening. She switches gears as fast as she drives. “Let’s celebrate, ‘kay?”

  “Tonight?”

  “Jules, it’s Saturday, and we haven’t hit the club once since you’ve been here.”

  That’s true. I’ve been too busy busting my ass at MontBlake, trying to stay busy in order to make a good impression, but also to minimize contact with Cash. It’s almost been two weeks since he hired me, and instead of the heat between us sizzling out, it’s only gotten hotter.

  “So where are we going?”

  “Club Shadow. Zan’s been trying to get the band a gig there.” She shrugs. “Maybe I’ll have better luck. I’ve seen pics of the owner. He’s a hottie for sure.”

  “All right. Count me in.”

  “Sweet!” Jumping to her feet, she snatches a red dress from the bed. “You should wear this. You’ll have every guy in the place drooling.”

  “Why do people say that? It’s not like the sight of drool is sexy.”

  Rolling her eyes, she pushes the dress into my hands. “Just be ready by eight.”

  “Okay, boss. Will do.”

  “Speaking of…” she says, glancing at her watch, “I’ve gotta put in a couple hours at work today. Accounting bullshit.”

  I walk her out, and after she gets into her Bug and disappears down the alley, I go back inside and resume unpacking. My clothes and personal items don’t take long to put away, since most of what I own came with me in a large suitcase, and the apartment came furnished. But I did buy other necessities with what little money I had left over from my savings after paying a deposit and three months rent on this place.

  And maybe Les is right. Maybe this huge step should be cause for celebration. This is all a little surreal—the new city, new job, new me. A version of myself I didn’t know I was capable of finding. A me that can make it on her own. A woman, despite what Mom says, that is capable of being alone just fine. I’m liking this new woman.

  But I’d like her a lot more if she’d quit lusting after a married man.

  I still have a few hours to kill before Les comes back, so I step outside and lock up the apartment, excited about exploring the area. A gentle breeze drifts through the vestibule, and I don’t miss the Oklahoma humidity at all. In fact, with each day that passes, Seattle feels a little more like home instead of a place I’m visiting. I descend the stairs and head down the alleyway as the sun breaks through fluffy white clouds. Those rays warm my skin, and I’m flushed by the time I end up at Pike Place Market.

  Taking in the weekend bustle with a secret smile, I step into the busy market, overwhelmed by the expanse of fresh food and handmade crafts as the lilting melodies of street musicians filter in from the sidewalk. I feel like a child on Christmas, wanting to sample everything. Touch and taste everything. Experience everything. I’m eyeing a display of berries when I sense a presence behind me.

  “Hello, Jules.” His tone is deep, and it tingles down my spine. He doesn’t say anything else, but he doesn’t have to. I turn to face him, preparing myself for the shock that electrifies me every time I lay eyes on Cash.

  Once again, I remind myself that he’s my boss, and fucking married, but nothing stops the smile from spreading across my face.

  Even worse, he’s wearing the same excited grin.

  “Hi,” I say as a wave of heat washes over me. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

  “I stop by most Saturdays.”

  My eyes are masters of treachery, and they take him in from the casual wind-tossed state of his dark hair to the running shoes on his feet. Jesus. Cash in a suit is dangerous, but seeing him in a T-shirt and shorts is lethal.

  I’m gawking and helpless to stop it, so I word-vomit the first thing that comes to mind. “This place doesn’t seem like your kind of scene.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I want to snatch them back.

  Or kick myself. Possibly both.

  An amused smile pulls at the corners of his mouth. I tear my attention away from such dangerous territory and lock my eyes on his, which isn’t much better because everything about this man has me aflutter.

  “That came out wrong.”

  “It’s okay,” he says with a laugh. “I know what you mean.”

  Does he? I’m skeptical as he crosses his arms, stretching thin cotton over the muscles his suits fail to accentuate. For an insane second, I think about running my fingers over his biceps.

  Get a fucking grip, Jules.

  God, how I’d like to.

  “Even pretentious guys like me are susceptible to the charms of a Seattle tradition.” He shoots me a look full of mischief.

  “You are so not pretentious.”

  Swarms of people are passing by, and Cash steps toward me to clear out of their path. “Have you been here before?” he asks as he grabs a small container of blackberries. He’s so close that his breath rustles the top of my head, and the woodsy scent I’m ashamed to admit is as familiar as my own perfume floods my nose.

  “Uh…” Blinking, I snap out of my stupor. “Today is
the first day I’ve made it down here.”

  “That’s criminal.” He moves toward the cashier, and I follow without thinking.

  “Why’s that?”

  “Well, it’s been five weeks since you moved here. That’s about five weeks too long.”

  He’s poking fun at me, but I can’t get past the fact that he remembers the exact amount of time I’ve been in Seattle.

  After he pays for the berries, he pops one into his mouth. “Walk with me for a while? I’ll share.” He holds the container toward me, and I pick up a berry, my fingers trembling the slightest bit. We step onto the brick street and meander around the various food carts on the sidewalk.

  “How are you liking Seattle so far?”

  “I’m loving it. I think I could really call this place home.” Peeking at him from the corner of my eye, I reach for another berry, and my arm brushes his, skin to skin. Even with the breeze, it’s too warm out to blame the eruption of gooseflesh on the weather. We walk in companionable silence for a while, popping berries every few steps. “Where are we going?”

  “Where do you wanna go?”

  Sliding the fruit between my lips, I try to shrug with nonchalance, but I’m sure I fail. Or maybe he doesn’t notice how nervous I am, since his attention is on my mouth.

  “You been to the waterfront yet?” he asks, and my heart skips a beat because I don’t think I’m imagining the uneven quality of his voice.

  “I haven’t.”

  “You’re racking up the felonies today.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “It’s criminal,” he reminds me. “You might call Seattle home now, but that doesn’t mean you should skip the tourist experience.” He tilts his head toward Elliot Bay. “Want to check it out?”

  “Sure.” I’ll do anything he asks if it means I get to spend more time with him. I shove the fact that he has a wife to the back of my mind. I’m convinced my good friend Denial lives in that area of my brain.