Enemy Exposure

by Meghan Rogers

  “What?” Her voice broke. “No.” She shook her head hard—harder than she should have. I was sure I was right.

  “I dream about them too,” I said, hesitating only slightly. “Sometimes I wake up certain I’m back there, strapped to a table, waiting for my handler to pull my fingernails out.”

  Her pupils dilated a fraction. She was breathing hard and still held the rail with a death grip, but her face seemed to soften.

  “What did you dream about?” I asked. I needed to get her sharing. If she would just say something I’d have a shot at getting more out of her.

  Eliza’s breathing got heavier, and she started shaking her head even harder than before. It was moving fast—too fast. Back and forth and back and forth. I was afraid she was going to get whiplash. I shifted to sit on the edge of her bed, then touched her arm, hoping it would calm her down, but it had the opposite effect. Her shriek ripped through the room. “Don’t touch me!”

  I held my hands up and slid back into my chair. I watched her for a few seconds, and she did the same to me. I breathed slow and steady through my nose, trying to figure out what to do next. I needed a minute to think. I had tried to be understanding, but it didn’t work. She didn’t want to be here, so she was combative. But I was sure she didn’t want to be at KATO at first either. They had managed to convince her otherwise. I had an idea. An idea I hated, but I couldn’t seem to keep myself from speaking.

  “This needs to stop.” My voice was so icy and cold it scared even me. She sniffled, but stared at me, wide-eyed. I had her attention. “We are asking you questions and you need to start complying.” Comply. It was a word KATO agents used a lot when they spoke English to me. We always had to comply. Eliza’s face went white and I knew they had used the same word on her. I felt sick, not only because of what I was doing, but because it was working.

  She let go of the rail and I knew why. Showing fear was showing weakness. It was the kind of thing agents would be punished for. “These secrets are not yours to keep,” I said, standing. She cowered, pressing her back into the rail. I put my face inches from hers. “You need to comply!” She was shaking hard now, her head bowed, muttering “Misty” over and over again like a prayer. I knew that name. We had a file on it.

  “Speak!” I roared at her, and it put her over the edge.

  She shook her head furiously again, but with purpose. When she spoke, her voice broke. “I ca—I can’t.”

  Something inside me snapped. The next thing I knew I heard Eliza shriek followed by a loud crash. I blinked and realized the chair I had been sitting in was now on the other side of the room, broken in pieces.

  I had done that. I wasn’t even aware I’d thought about throwing the chair. I just acted.

  I reacted like a KATO handler would. We needed her to talk, and I was suddenly prepared to do whatever it took.

  My arms vibrated as my stomach churned violently. The craving I triggered combined with my own fear, humiliation, and anger was more than I could handle. I felt like I was in a fog.

  I didn’t notice Dr. March was in the room until her arm was around me. Eliza was once again sedated in her bed. When did that happen?

  “Come on,” Dr. March muttered in my ear as she pulled me forward. I noticed we were moving slowly, and then I realized it was because my legs were shaking.

  She steered me down the hall and into the first open room.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean—I thought she might respond to KATO tactics, but I didn’t mean to go that far.” I could barely get the words out.

  She pulled me in closer, and sat us both on the bed. “Don’t worry about that right now.”

  “Please—” I struggled to get the words out, but I needed her to know. “Please don’t tell my father.”

  Her forehead crinkled, but she didn’t question me. “All right,” she said. “If that’s what you want.”

  I nodded as the shaking got worse. No matter what Travis had said, I wasn’t ready for him to know this part of me.

  “You’ll be okay,” she whispered in my ear. “You’re always okay in the end.”

  I folded deeper into her. At moments like this it was hard to believe that I would ever be all right. After a few minutes, she shifted away from me and eased me down onto the bed. I felt a hint of relief when she slid the needles into my ear, though it became pretty apparent that the acupuncture alone wasn’t going to get it done. She started aromatherapy, and eventually my craving began to pass. I sank into the pillows, my eyes shut tight, embracing the calm that settled over me.

  Dr. March ran a hand over my hair. “Take all the time you need.” She didn’t leave like she usually did. She pulled her chair over so she was sitting near my head. She put her hand on my forehead, massaging it gently. I felt myself relaxing even more. It only took a few more seconds for my mind to find a way to shut down.

  • • •

  The door banged open, startling me and the other fifteen agents in the room alert. It was Jin Su, and he wasn’t alone. My heart stopped the second I saw Chin Ho. I wasn’t the only agent he was responsible for, but I was sure he had come for me.

  I was fourteen and I had just returned from my second mission. I had failed miserably. I was tasked with assassinating a Japanese weapons expert’s family and stealing his technology, but I couldn’t do it. My first mission had been to kill a young Indian princess. I’d completed that assignment and it still haunted me weeks later. When the time had come to pull the trigger on this second mission I just—couldn’t. I had rehearsed my story a thousand times on the way to my extraction. I said that they weren’t home—that I couldn’t find them anywhere. I was taken off Gerex immediately for my failure, which I was expecting. But if both my handler and Jin Su were here, it could only mean one thing—they knew I lied.

  They each grabbed one of my arms, and hauled me out of the room. They squeezed me tight—too tight, but between the pain of the Gerex withdrawal that had set in and the fear of what was coming, I barely felt it.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “It won’t happen again, I promise!” I sounded desperate and I didn’t care—I was desperate. I repeated those phrases over and over as if it would somehow save me, but they didn’t even acknowledge I was talking.

  They dragged me into a small room and dropped me hard on my knees. I knew where I was once I saw the blood on the floor. This was the execution room.

  Jin Su stepped back, positioning himself in front of the wall in a military stance, staring evenly. Chin Ho had come behind me. Then I felt the barrel of a gun pressed against my skull. My heart pounded with fear and absolute certainty that this would be the end of me.

  “You have proven to be a great disappointment,” Jin Su said. “This upsets me personally.” His cold voice cut through my thoughts, adding to my fear. My limbs had tingled themselves numb, and I struggled to keep from showing how afraid I was, as if hiding my weakness could save me.

  Chin Ho leaned over so his voice was in my ear. “You have brought me great shame. I expected better. KATO deserves better.”

  I felt the gun shift and I knew this was it. My heart kicked up, pounding so hard it echoed through my body. Jin Su was all I could see. He would be the last thing I would ever see.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, and the tears rolled down my face. I couldn’t hide the terror anymore and at this point it didn’t matter. I waited for the bang.

  But there was a click instead.

  Time stood still as my ragged breathing filled the room. I felt the gun leave my head, but I didn’t dare to believe that I was safe.

  “You were very lucky Jin Su was merciful,” Chin Ho said. “Thank him.”

  I couldn’t think—I couldn’t process anything that had just happened. I didn’t act fast enough. Chin Ho yanked the back of my hair. “Thank him!”

  I forced the words out, though I was sure they were in
coherent. Jin Su nodded nonetheless and turned to the door. He stopped just short of it. “Next time there will be bullets,” he said. “You will not get another chance to comply.”

  When I woke, it wasn’t with the usual jolt into reality. Instead, I felt heavy, especially my eyes. It was like they were weighted down as my mind replayed the dream. But it wasn’t a dream—not really. It was a memory. It was one of my most fearful moments at KATO. The combination of hearing Jin Su’s voice and how the talk with Eliza had gone must have brought it out in me. I fought off a shudder when I remembered how I’d ended up in the medical wing in the first place.

  It took all of my energy just to find a way to pry my eyes open. Dr. March wasn’t sitting next to me anymore, but someone was. Actually, it was two people: Nikki and Travis.

  Nikki smiled when she saw I was awake, her broken arm resting in her lap. “Good morning, sleepyhead—or I guess I should say good afternoon.”

  I rubbed my eyelids and pulled myself up so I could sit with my back against the pillows. The clock on the wall told me it was after four. I’d slept for hours. “Where’s Dr. March?”

  “I think she needed to check on some people.” Nikki shifted up on to the bed, sitting with her back against the bottom rail, facing me. “She signed me out about an hour ago and said you and Travis were in here. Though no one will tell me what happened.”

  I exhaled slowly and the anxiety the dream had created faded into relief. “I—had a bad reaction to something.”

  Travis’s eyes narrowed, but he stayed quiet. Nikki looked between the two of us, picking up on the tension. “I’m getting a sense there’s a lot more to the story than that.”

  I shook my head, still trying to wrap my mind around what had happened.

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Travis look at Nikki and tip his head to the door.

  “Right,” Nikki said. “Well, I’ve been stuck in the medical wing since we got back from Russia, so I’m going to go for a run—or something.” She paused just short of the door. “Find me if you need anything. My arm’ll keep me out of the field, but I’m not concussed anymore, so my brain is yours if you need it.”

  I smiled at her. “Thanks, Nikki.”

  The door fell shut and then it was just me and Travis.

  “Don’t blow this off,” he said the second we were alone.

  “I’m not,” I said, sitting up straighter. “I promise I’m not. I just—” I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to think. “I didn’t see this coming.”

  Travis pulled the chair even closer, so he was right next to the bed.

  I blinked, remembering something. “You’re supposed to be on your way to England.”

  “I’m going, but I wanted to make sure you were okay first.” He gave me a hard look. “Joss, what happened?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, thinking back over the past few hours. “It started out as half of an idea. I knew KATO scared her, so I thought maybe I could use their conditioning to our advantage.” I squeezed my temples, like I could push out the memories. “I knew it was a bad idea the second it crossed my mind, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.” I swallowed hard. “KATO trained us to do whatever is necessary to get what we need. Being around her, and thinking about them just—pulled it out of me.”

  “She’s okay,” Travis said. “She was asleep when I left.”

  I tucked my knees into my chest. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t screw up her mind.” I blinked and saw the broken chair on the ground. I still couldn’t remember throwing it. “They’re still in my head.” My voice broke. I closed my eyes and rubbed the space between them, trying to get the image of Jin Su out of my mind. “They still have a hold on me.”

  The bed shifted and I felt Travis’s hands on my shins. I blinked and saw his face a foot from mine. “They do not have a hold on you. If they did, we wouldn’t be doing this.” He dropped a file on to the bed next to him. It was an agent file.

  “Misty.” I’d almost forgotten. Eliza had said her name.

  Travis sat back so I could spread the file out between us. “I read over it while you were asleep. It looks like she and Eliza were in the Indian safe house together. Their time didn’t overlap for very long.”

  “She was the one KATO took when she was on her way to the orphanage, right?” I asked.

  Travis nodded. “Yeah, her parents were politicians in Italy. They died in a car accident and left her behind. She didn’t have any other family.”

  That was probably why she was picked. Her parents’ status made her situation newsworthy, which meant KATO would have had access to it. They were in the market for an Italian, and she was the perfect target. Her disappearance had gotten a lot of attention at first, but as time moved on, the story died down. And without any family to push the issue, Misty faded into a tragic memory.

  “Her agent file is pretty close to mine,” I said, scanning over the more significant details again. She was currently stationed in the Italian intelligence agency, AISE. “In some ways she was even better than me.” She had some slipups with her behavior, but all of her offenses were fairly mild and scattered throughout her time at KATO. Her weaknesses were in the more physical aspects of the job. She seemed to have kept up just enough to stay alive, but she took more than her fair share of hits.

  “Don’t you think that’s a concern?” Travis asked. “Maybe her behavior was so good because she really is that brainwashed.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I think she did the same thing I did—she told her handler what he wanted to hear and limited her mistakes. All of these offenses are so small and scattered, I wouldn’t be surprised if at least some of them were on purpose.”

  “Do you think she should be the next recruit?”

  I nodded. “Not only does she fit the profile, but if she has some kind of connection to Eliza, I could use it to pull her to our side.”

  The door opened, interrupting our discussion.

  “Oh good,” Dr. March said, smiling from the threshold. “You’re up.” Travis slid off the bed so Dr. March could get to me. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m all right,” I said, which was more or less true, now that Travis had reminded me of our bigger victory. “I’m more concerned about Eliza. I’m sorry I lost it.”

  “It’s okay.” Dr. March tilted her head to the side, her eyes soft. “You seem to have this idea in your head that you’re supposed to automatically get over everything they taught you. But you’re not. It takes time.”

  “That’s what I keep saying,” Travis said.

  I shook my head dismissively. “Not in this case. I know better.”

  “That doesn’t mean your instincts go away,” Dr. March said. “You’re still artificially hardwired to win at all costs.”

  I bit my lip, letting her words sink in. I didn’t put any thought into my actions; I only knew we needed her to talk. It felt desperate—similar to how I felt when I went on an assignment for KATO.

  Regardless, I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so I returned to the more pressing issue at hand. “How’s Eliza?”

  Dr. March hesitated. “She’s—different.”

  My senses heightened. “In a bad way?”

  Dr. March shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know. It could mean that you’re getting through to her.” My stomach flipped at the idea of trying that approach again. “Aside from her periodic outbursts, she used to be fairly quiet. Now she keeps saying ‘misty’ over and over.”

  I glanced at Travis. “That’s a lead we’re working. Misty is another agent.”

  Dr. March’s eyes widened a fraction. “That’s excellent.” She checked my pupils with a small flashlight. “You’re clear to leave. I’ll get word to you if Eliza says anything else that might be helpful.”

  I thanked her and turned back to Travis once she was gone. “We need to move on t
his,” I said. “She’s another one who probably won’t accept our offer right away. The sooner we start this process, the sooner we get her talking.”

  “I can ask Simmonds to push the England assignment,” Travis said. “You and I can stop there on our way back.”

  I shook my head. “All of this is connected. We need to know about Eliza’s history just as much as we need Misty on our side,” I said. “You go to England, and I’ll go to Italy.”

  His eyes went wide. “There is no way you’re recruiting a KATO asset on your own.”

  “I won’t be alone,” I said, smirking. “Centipede will be with me.” Travis’s expression narrowed and I rolled my eyes. “Obviously I’ll bring IDA backup too. But Centipede really is coming. There’s no point in recruiting these agents if we’re not going to use them.”

  He put his hands on his hips. “I should be in on this.”

  “And I would rather if you were,” I said. “But Simmonds is right. You were on Eliza’s team a year and a half ago. You’ll know where to look in England. I can handle the girls. We’re as prepared as we can be. It’ll probably go smoother with backup in the shadows anyway. Misty might be more open to this if it’s coming from me and another KATO agent.”

  His lips pressed together tightly, considering. “All right,” he said, “it’s a solid plan. Just promise me you won’t be reckless.”

  I smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ve gotten better about that.”

  He snorted. “Yeah, I guess we’ll see.”

  • • •

  I went to Simmonds with my plan right from the medical wing. He studied Misty’s file closely as I sat across from him. He glanced up at me periodically as he read. “You’ve never heard of her?” he asked when he was finished.

  I shook my head. “I only knew the agents who were based out of headquarters. I picked up a few others when I was eavesdropping, but only if they were exceptional. Misty never came up.”