White Hart

by Sarah Dalton

  The maiden did cry,

  “Oh, now shall I die?”

  As she beat the soil with her fist.

  Dirt answered her call,

  Far down did she fall,

  ’Til roots wrapped her tight and swift.

  The girl she felt dread,

  “Oh no, am I dead?

  What have I hastily wished?

  For grief made me wild,

  As rash as a child,

  And my life will end forthwith.”

  “Your life will not end,”

  Whispered a friend.

  “In fact it has only begun.

  “Take all this power,

  From earth, air, fire,

  And water to cleanse the rift.”

  ’Twas magic that helped,

  Her love-caused welt,

  And gave her the strength to live on.

  Sasha’s tone is one of pure joy but the words are so sad, they tug at my heart. As we ride on, I wonder if the song is intended for me. For all of Sasha’s joy today, she knows very well that there’s a good chance we will find the Borgans, the people who left her in the woods. At one time, they would have been like family to her. Perhaps her words are telling me not to start that war again, not to kill the people who killed my father. Like the maid in the story, I should find comfort from my craft. I should move on.

  When Cas is further ahead, Sasha places a hand on Anta’s reins. “Mae, I need to tell you something.”

  Anta stops and I look down at Sasha’s upturned face. “What is it?”

  “It’s about my people.” She pauses to checks that Cas is still ahead of us and out of hearing distance. “There’s a reason they’ve been searching for the craft-born, and it isn’t what you think. They are the protectors of the craft. They don’t want to harm Ellen; they want to help her with her… your… powers. My people are not craft-born, but we have an affinity with the craft. When the new craft-born comes of age, we send out scouts to find them and bring them into the Waerg Woods for help and guidance. When the king sent out word that the first craft-born girl would marry his son, he upset the balance. He created imposters, and it was hard for my people to find you. It made things… messy—”

  “Not just messy,” I say between gritted teeth. “My father died.”

  “I’m sorry,” she says. “I just thought you should know.”

  “It changes nothing,” I reply. But deep down I wonder… I wonder what they could teach me.

  “Are you girls coming, or what?” Cas shouts from further down the path.

  Sasha lets go of the reins and purses her lips. “Please think about it. It could be important to you. That’s all I’m saying.”

  We move on in the morning sun.

  *

  It’s mid-morning when I first see the tracks. My heart leaps into my mouth. It has been so long since I’ve seen the tracks left by the Borgans. I’d begun to doubt that we would ever find them again and instead become lost in the Waerg Woods forevermore. But as we follow those tracks, the reality of our situation sinks in. We’re weak. There are three of us, whereas Sasha has told us that the camp is made up of over three dozen people. Our supplies are depleted. Most of Anta’s saddlebags were lost when we escaped from the Ibenas. I have an injury. Sasha and Cas are tired from sleepless nights keeping watch while I recover. How are we going to get Ellen back?

  As we eat berries and rabbit over a dim fire, the three of us stare out into the forest in silence. The realisation has hit us all.

  “If the camp is in the same place it used to be, we should reach it tomorrow at sundown,” Sasha says.

  Cas nods. “The sooner we get there, the sooner we can save Ellen.”

  “Not if we fail,” I point out. “We need to devise a plan to get her back. I don’t want this to end up like the Ibenas.”

  I exchange a glance with Sasha. The two of us know more than Cas, and I want to make sure it stays that way. I’m not ready for him to know my secret, even if it would make it easier for us to get to Ellen. We both know that the Borgans are supposed to protect the craft-born, but we don’t know if they have worked out that Ellen has no craft. Perhaps she can fool them with her tricks, like she fooled my village.

  “We won’t fail this time,” Cas says. He licks his lips thoughtfully. “I think we should sneak in under the cover of night. We could be in and out without the Borgans even knowing about it. Less fuss, and no one gets hurt.”

  Sasha shakes her head. “They will have her watched. We have a jail at the camp. It’s more of an iron cage contraption than anything else, but it’s designed to lock up prisoners. My guess is that’s where they’re keeping her. It will be difficult to get her out.” She takes a stick and draws outlines in the soil. “This is the camp. There are lookouts with bows and arrows on each side. They have built a wooden wall which goes all the way around, with the entrance here.” She points to a dot along her drawn outline. “That’s where carts come in after market. Inside the camp, the tents are lined up along this border, and there is the jail. It is only opened by a key, which will be with Allerton.”

  “Who is he?” Cas’s eyes shine.

  “He’s our leader, a tall man who channels the craft through his amulet. You do not want to cross him. He carries the keys around with him at all times. There’s no way we can get them from him. Not by force.”

  “We have to think of a way in first,” I say, pulling at my hair in frustration. “If they know I’m from Halts-Walden and that I have the prince with me, they will know we intend to free Ellen. They know the prince is her intended, and they know what they did in my village.” I close my eyes, trying not to think of that terrible sight in the Fallen Oak. To my surprise, a rough hand slips into my own. I open my eyes to find Cas squeezing my fingers. He drops my hand, and his cheeks flush. I clear my throat and turn to Sasha. “Will they recognise you straight away?”

  “I know some of the guards,” she replies. She pauses for a moment and then adds, “One is quite taken with me.”

  “Could you tell them you’ve brought new recruits to the camp?” I ask.

  “They rarely let others in,” she says. “I would have to vouch for you, which would be fine, but I think someone would recognise Cas as the Crown Prince of Aegunlund.”

  “Yes, that could be a problem,” Cas admits. “Father was always insistent about distributing my portrait to all and sundry. He thought it would make me appear more powerful. Of course, it also means every potential kidnapper in the realm knows my face.”

  “Maybe we could let Cas in after we’ve made it into the camp?” I suggest.

  “Someone would see it. It would raise suspicion.” Sasha stares down at her diagram with her head in her hands.

  “What about a disguise?” Cas suggests. “I mean, I don’t look much like me right now, anyway. My clothes are ripped and ragged. I’m dirty and scruffy as a beggar.” He rubs the smattering of stubble on his face that has formed during our stay in the forest. It does make him look slightly older, and it’s slightly darker than his natural hair colour.

  I gasp. “Bricken tree leaves!”

  Sasha stares at me with her brow furrowed in confusion. “What about them?”

  “If you boil the leaves, it creates a brown dye. We can dye Cas’s hair brown, and with his beard—well, almost beard, hmm, more of a moustache maybe—he won’t look at all like the crown prince.”

  “Hey,” Cas says in protest, “I have more than a moustache here.” He strokes his chin in indignation.

  Sasha’s eyes widen in excitement. “Plus with a hood and some yellow dye on his teeth, he would look like a beggar. It’s perfect!”

  “That’s how we’re going to get in,” I say. “But how are we going to get Ellen out?”

  Further discussion brings up nothing else of worth, and we decide to settle down for the night. I sleep next to Anta, his fur keeping me warm. The nearer we get to the people who killed Father, the more those thoughts of revenge slip back into my mind. I grasp
hold of the locket around my throat, wondering what he would make of my journey here.

  I try to think of Finn and his sacrifice for me. He didn’t lose his life for me so I could kill another. I focus on that disappointed look he gave me when I revealed my plan to the prophetess. He had thought I was better than I am.

  The next morning, we follow the path, keeping look out for a bricken tree. When we find one, Sasha collects water while Cas and I pick the leaves. It means I get to climb again, and I’d forgotten the thrill you can get from climbing high into a tree and then looking down at the world below. Some might find it terrifying; I find it relaxing.

  But all I can think about are the visions the Nix showed me. A shiver runs down my spine when I remember what I was about to do in the vision. It’s so abhorrent to me that I can’t even contemplate it. Yet, I was about to… end my own life.

  As I climb back down with the bricken leaves, Cas helps me the last few steps. The touch of his hand on my arms brings those images flooding back, and I pull away from him. He frowns in confusion, but as he’s about to speak, I stop him.

  “We’d best boil these. I don’t know how long it will take to change your hair colour.”

  It’s enough to distract him. “How long will it last for?” he asks. “Am I going to have brown hair forever?”

  I don’t actually know, so I just shrug. “Maybe. Do you want to back out?”

  He snorts. “Of course not. I don’t care about my hair. I used to, but not anymore. People are more important.”

  “You mean Ellen,” I say.

  “No, people in general. You’ve taught me that.” He places a hand on my arm, but I shrug it away. Why does he insist on touching me if I’m just a friend to him? Why doesn’t he see the effect it has on me?

  “Come on,” I say, before he has time to wonder why. I don’t want to explain that his every touch is like a jab to my heart.

  If I carry on along this route, I will become that person. I shake my head. That can’t be true.

  “Mae?” Cas asks with concern.

  We reach our campfire, and he turns to me with his usual open and friendly expression. It kills me to see him like this. It kills me because of what might be, of what he might become. I should leave. I should run away and never come back. But how can I leave Sasha and Cas to the Borgans? How can I let them walk into danger… alone?

  “I’m just nervous,” I lie. “A lot can go wrong.”

  Cas sits down by the fire. “Ellen’s life is in our hands. Sometimes it feels like too much responsibility to bear. If we make it out alive, and one day I really do become king…” He trails off, staring out into the woods. “Everyone’s lives will be in my hands. Can you imagine the responsibility? Sometimes I wonder if that is why Father became the man he is. Somewhere he decided that the burden was too much, and he switched it off.” Cas clicks his fingers. “He switched off the ability to care. Then everything became about me.” He turns to me, and his eyes are filled with the glassy look of utter desperation.

  In that moment, I renounce the Nix and his visions of my future. I forget it all. I know nothing except the fact that Cas needs me, and I will be there for him, no matter what.

  “You could never be like that,” I say. “You could never stop caring, because that’s not who you are. We are not always shaped by our parents, Cas. We’re shaped by our choices. When you followed me into the Waerg Woods, I didn’t want you here, and you knew it. But you came anyway because you chose to be a good person. You chose to risk your own well-being for the sake of another person. Have you ever heard of a prince or a king doing that? I know I haven’t, and my father told me stories that date back centuries. You will be a good king. You will make it back from the Borgans, and you will live a long, happy life with pretty children.” I stop speaking because my throat closes over with emotion.

  He leans forward and clasps my hand. “And we will be friends forever.”

  I swallow back the tears burning the back of my eyes. “We will be friends forever.”

  “Am I interrupting something?” Sasha asks. She lowers a pail of water to the ground with a raised eyebrow.

  I let go of Cas’s hand and rub the palms on my trousers, clearing my throat at the same time. “I’ll stoke the fire so we can boil the water.”

  Sasha flashes me a crooked smile as I get to my feet. “Something I should know about?” she whispers.

  I shake my head, but she reaches out and grips my arm with her cold fingers. “Is there something between the two of you?”

  I wrench my arm away. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no. We’re just friends.”

  She narrows her eyes. I see those deep blue eyes assessing me. She misses nothing. “Something happened when we were attacked by the Nix. Did it show you a vision?”

  I sigh. As much as I wanted to keep it to myself, there is a part of me that needs to say something, that needs to share the load. So, while Cas feeds Gwen and Anta, I tell her quietly about the vision I was shown. I tell her about how I will grow old alone in the castle as a servant to Cas, and how he will grow old and happy with his wife and I will never move on.

  Sasha’s mouth turns into a thin line, and she shakes out her red hair. “That was not a vision of the future, Mae. You understand that, don’t you? The monster shows us our worst fear.”

  “It told me that it was what I would become. It was so real, Sasha. You weren’t there—”

  “I know, but… You can’t believe it, Mae. The Nix is a trickster. This is what it does to people. It weakens them until they crack.”

  “If it wanted to weaken me, it would have let me do it.” I motion the action against my wrists. “When I came to, I had a sharp stone in my hand.”

  Sasha sucks air in through her teeth and closes her eyes as though to compose herself.

  “I’m sorry,” I say, remembering that the monster killed her mother. “I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

  “No,” she says, opening her eyes again. She places a hand on my shoulder. “I’m glad you told me. You have to dismiss those thoughts. The monster tricked you into thinking the vision was true, because then you will make it come true. Fight against that impulse. I don’t know why it didn’t kill you. All I can think is that it has some unfinished business, maybe with all of us.” She shudders. “Don’t let it win by becoming the person it expects you to become. That’s the only thing we can do in our lives, fight against those who put us down.”

  *

  We boil the bricken leaves and let the mixture cool before coating Cas’s hair in the goop. Touching his scalp feels so strange, so intimate. I rush through it, dragging my nails and causing him to chastise me for being too rough. Sasha flashes me a knowing look every now and then. She always knows what I’m doing and why. It makes me wonder why Cas has never realised. Perhaps it’s because he doesn’t see me like that, and he never will.

  With a lump in my throat, I wash my dirty hands in some clean water and instruct Cas to leave the mixture to dry. Later, we’ll have to wash it out and rub berry juice on his teeth. But for now we eat and try to relax before the journey to the Borgan camp. I put the dangers we face out of my mind and go looking for firewood.

  We’re in a part of the forest covered in lush green grass and exotic flowers. There are bundles of plants with huge pink flowers the size of my palms. When I run a finger over the petals, my finger squeaks against the shiny coating. They are thicker than cloth. Colourful butterflies cluster over the open faces of the flowers, and chunky bees float lazily in the air. There’s a sweet scent in this part of the forest, like honey and roses. I can imagine why the Borgans camp here. It seems like the sort of forest with delicious treats nestled high up in trees or in the stalks of plants.

  Later, we wash the dried paste from Cas’s hair, and he no longer looks like Cas. His grey eyes seem darker next to his mud-brown hair. It’s soothing, because it stops me from imagining the visions every time I look at him.

  In a quiet moment alo
ne, Sasha turns to me. “This is your last chance, Mae. You could walk up to the camp and announce who you are. Allerton will let Ellen go in exchange for you, and then he will show you how to use your craft. It’s the simplest way.”

  “And then Cas will come for me alone, getting himself killed in the process. Or he will succeed, and he will be forced to marry me because of my craft.”

  “Isn’t that what you want?” she asks.

  “Not like that,” I say. “Never like that. He has made a choice, and I am not that choice.”

  “Has he, though? He doesn’t know the truth. He doesn’t know what you are. Maybe he would see you differently if he did.”

  “We’ve been in the forest alone together for well over a week,” I snap. “Don’t you think he would have those feelings if he was ever going to have them? No, I’m his friend and nothing more. He will never love me, and that’s that.”

  Sasha frowns. “You’re a stubborn girl, indeed. Very well, if that is your answer, then I wash my hands of it. I tried to make you see sense, but you’re having none of it. Now, we should go. We want to get there just after sundown, when it is too dark to recognise Cas but not so late they will be suspicious.”

  We don’t answer. We simply pack away the camp into our saddlebags and leave. Sasha rides on Gwen with Cas. I have a big decision to make when we get to the camp, and so far, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

  Chapter Nineteen – The Infiltration and Disguise

  It is the moonlight which reveals the Borgan camp. I notice the wooden wall first, with its pointed logs shaped into spikes. The sight of them makes me shudder. The Borgans don’t want anyone to climb that wall.

  As we approach, I can just make out the shape of a gate in the wall, and a couple of small windows. Fire lights up those windows. A torch carried by the guards, perhaps. We stop our animals before we are in sight, and each dismount. We’d planned this earlier, as a way to make us seem more believable. I remove Anta’s bridle and saddle and move into the trees, finding an appropriate place to hide them beneath leaves. Cas does the same with Gwen’s belongings. Then, I take Anta’s muzzle in my hands and rest my forehead against his.