Becoming Bella

by Sarah Hegger

  “Matt’s going to fix this pink nightmare.” Pippa hugged her quickly. “And look what else you got.”

  “Great outside Christmas lights?”

  “That,” Pippa said. “And you made new friends. Liz. Daniel. Would you change things and not have them in your life?”

  “No.” For sure not. Liz had been a great addition to her social life. Daniel had stopped asking her out and they’d drifted into a budding friendship she hoped would grow. “And I really enjoyed the volunteering at the church.”

  “There you go.” Pippa sounded like her cheering section. “You’ve done a good thing, Bella. You didn’t like the way your life was going and you changed that. That’s more than I managed. If Ray hadn’t pulled that shit on me, I might still be caught in my rut.”

  Bella doubted that. From her classy-as-hell clothes to her high-powered career, and now her gorgeous husband, Pippa defined the term kick-ass. When Pippa wanted something, she stormed out there and got it. “You weren’t in a trap.”

  “Yes, I was.” Pippa laughed. “I convinced myself I had everything I wanted and ignored that little voice in my head that said it was a lie. Ray forced me to get real. I had my head jammed so far up my ass, I almost let Matt get away from me.”

  Okay, that did make her feel a little better.

  Pippa peered out the window. “Damn, how does my grandmother do it?” She pointed to where Simon and Matt stood. “My entire life, Phi has managed to find the hottest men.”

  “I can’t believe Nate got territorial.” The burn of that suddenly made itself known. The man couldn’t shove her out of his house fast enough and yet still felt it was okay to pee all over her to mark his territory.

  “Head-up-assitis.” Pippa nodded. “There’s a lot of that going around. And just because Nate doesn’t know whether to fish or cut bait doesn’t mean you have to wait around for him to decide.”

  No, she didn’t, but with Adam still lurking around somewhere, she wasn’t exactly ready to fling herself back into the dating scene.

  Dr. Childers chimed away in her head: Own the life you want to have.

  Oh, shut the fuck up!

  ChapterTwenty-Seven

  Nate tapped his foot as Gabby pecked away at her keyboard.

  “Tell me we have something.” His unease prickled beneath his skin. Adam had disappeared like smoke, and as long as the bastard couldn’t be found, Bella remained in danger.

  Gabby huffed. “Nothing.” She rubbed her eyes. “He was last seen at a gas station about twenty miles from here. I got a grainy image from the station’s surveillance cameras.”

  Nate wanted to punch something. He paced instead. “You can’t move in this town without someone asking where you’re going. But this bastard manages to slip through our fingers.”

  “Sheriff,” Gabby stood and eased her back, “he’s been doing this for years. The reason he’s still walking around is because he’s seriously good at it.”

  Nate knew that. Some part of his brain remained objective enough to see that. Adam had to be holed up somewhere. No sign of that fancy car of his either. Clever enough to know they would have all the motels and hotels covered, Adam had to have found a hideout. But where?

  It was driving Nate crazy. His department covered a huge area, a lot of nothing but forest and wilderness, and that was just where that little shit had to be hiding. There wasn’t enough manpower, even if he pulled everyone from throughout the county, to launch the kind of search he needed. The mountains around Ghost Falls left way, way too many places for someone to hide.

  “What are the chances he’s given up?” Gabby stirred sugar into her coffee.

  “None.”

  Gabby nodded. “So we keep looking.” She blew into the hot cup. “At least you know Bella’s got that rent-a-cop following her around.”

  Which was the other bug up his ass. He wanted to be the one protecting Bella, standing between her and this shit-storm. His brain reminded him that the rent-a-cop gave him the space to do his job, but his gut didn’t give a crap.

  Matt had reamed him out that morning. Much as he’d like to have fought back, his brother was right. Bella had enough to deal with without Nate making it worse. Going near her tonight wasn’t an option. The only thing he could do was his job.

  He threw himself into his day’s work because the rest of the county wasn’t going to sit still while he went through his personal crisis.

  * * *

  As he followed her home from the store, Bella kept Simon’s rental car in sight.

  Her street looked the same as it always did. The two Simpson children chased each other with snowballs. Mr. Powell patrolled his front yard, checking for snow-damaged plant limbs. He raised a hand to her as she drove past.

  Simon pulled into her driveway behind her.

  Opening her door, his gaze scanned the quiet neighborhood as if they were standing in the middle of Kabul. “Stay put,” he said. “I’m going to check the house first.”

  “Bella.” Mr. Powell trotted over. “Mrs. Powell is worried sick about what happened last night.”

  “Tell her I’m fine.”

  “Good. Glad you weren’t hurt.” Mr. Powell rubbed his palms on his thighs. “The thing is, though, how can we be sure he won’t be back?”

  “That’s what Simon is here for.”

  Mr. Powell stared at her house. “For you. You have a Simon. Mrs. Powell doesn’t feel safe in her own house anymore.”

  “Tell her she’s fine.” Every man for himself, and suddenly, she didn’t want to have this conversation with Mr. Powell anymore. “Adam isn’t here for anyone else but me.”

  Mr. Powell frowned. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.” The fear she’d pressed down all day came back in a wave.

  “Well, good.” Mr. Powell beamed. “Mrs. Powell will be so relieved.”

  So much for good neighbors.

  Simon came up beside her. “All clear. We can go in now.”

  “What happens now?” Someone had put new locks on her door.

  Locks that Simon engaged. “You mean tonight?”

  “Yup.” She had another strange man in her house. What was she supposed to do with him?

  “Phi says you have a spare room I can use.” Simon didn’t seem at all uncomfortable as he strode down the hall to her kitchen. “She also strongly recommended I do the cooking.”

  After dinner, Simon checked the house again before they settled down for the night.

  She got a text from Nate, checking to see if she was all right, and she replied that she was. That set the pattern for the next week. Bella went to work, came home, volunteered with Liz. Simon merged into her life as if he’d been there all along. He even helped her pick out a couple of Christmas gifts.

  One week dribbled into two and Bella relaxed a bit more. Her parents called from Florida to find out her plans for Christmas. She and Liz had been invited to the Folly to spend it with however many other stragglers Phi had unearthed before they spent Christmas alone.

  Meanwhile, Matt set a start date on the store renovation for early January and, as if the fates aligned to approve her plans, she had a record-breaking Christmas and her internet orders continued to grow. All in all, scary Adam aside, she had a lot of be grateful for this year.

  She did her best not to think of Nate and very nearly succeeded for a couple of hours a day. He texted every night to check on her, but there was no other contact. It was better this way. Liz, Pippa, Daniel, even Simon, when pressed for his opinion, said it was better this way. Which would be fine, if she felt it. Yes, she knew she should be feeling it. How many times did she have to sink before she tried to swim?

  “I’m not really much help.” Liz looked up from painting her nails pond-scum green.

  Snowy weather provided the perfect excuse for a Buffy marathon on Netflix.

  Noel had kept up his campaign. The man had the patience of a saint. Although Liz stayed firm, Bella found herself softening to him. He seemed to gen
uinely regret what he’d done, and the romantic in her wanted to give him a second chance. A trait, Liz quickly pointed out, that worked against her in the Nate situation.

  “I think you should give him a chance.” Simon spoke from the sofa. “And what the hell are you putting on your nails?”

  “It’s festive.” Liz held up her hand.

  “Red is festive,” Simon said.

  “So is green.”

  Simon snorted. “It makes your fingers look like they’re gangrenous.”

  Liz pointed at him. “You’re working your way out of the girls’ club, my friend.”

  “You need me.” Simon folded his arms. “To give you the male perspective.”

  Liz frowned and painted her other hand. “Okay, so give me the male perspective on Noel.”

  Simon muted Buffy, which demonstrated he wasn’t really in the girls’ club because he couldn’t chat and watch Buffy at the same time. “First off, Noel got luckier than he ever thought he would when he landed a woman like you.”

  “Aww.” Liz blew him a kiss.

  “It’s true.” Simon shrugged. “You’re way out of his league.”

  “Do we still have leagues?” It didn’t sound very Dr. Childers to Bella.

  “Of course we have leagues.” Simon gave her his duh look. He did it very well. “Men like Noel don’t expect to end up with women like Lizzie over there. They’re okay with that. But occasionally, the fates align and someone like Liz gives a man like our Noel a chance. If he wins the lottery, she sticks around because she likes what he gives.”

  “His dick.” Liz nodded.

  Simon didn’t even blink and neither did Bella, which still surprised her on occasion.

  “Dick’s nothing if you don’t know what to do with it.” Simon smirked.

  Liz chuckled. “So says every man with a small one.”

  “Lizzie.” Simon raised a brow. “You know what they say? Dicks come in small, medium, large, extra-large, and Simon.”

  Liz and Simon snickered for a couple of minutes.

  “Anyway . . .” Apparently, Bella hadn’t totally lost the ability to blush. “What’s your point about Noel?”

  “My point is that when a man is faced with losing something so precious to him, he panics. Suddenly, he sees everything disappearing and he loses his shit.”

  “That’s what Noel says.” Liz pulled off her wooly socks and examined her toenails. “Should I paint them green as well?”

  “No.” Simon grimaced.

  “I think you should do what you want.” Bella held up the girls’ side. “They’re your toenails.”

  “Your boy Noel lost his shit more than most. But think about this”—Simon held up his hand—“he’s back. He’s owning what he did and he’s clever enough to know how much he lost. By my book, that means he’ll do anything to get that precious back.”

  Liz examined her toes. “Do you think I can trust him again?”

  “I do. But it doesn’t matter what I think.” Simon turned Buffy’s volume back up. “You’re the one who has to trust him.”

  * * *

  Nate had officially crossed the line into pathetic. Determined not to screw Bella over anymore, he had stayed away. Stayed away and done everything he could to track Adam down.

  Nothing moved on that front until that morning, when a message came through the main office that tagged Adam in Chicago. An attached picture confirmed his identity. It didn’t make a helluva lot of sense to Nate. Certainly went against pattern for all the predators he’d encountered. Still, Adam in Chicago meant breathing room.

  So where did his screwed-up head go? Straight to Bella and maybe running by to give her the news. She’d be relieved, grateful even. Maybe they could celebrate life in the most basic way possible.

  God, he was a dick. A pathetic dick.

  So beyond help, in fact, that here he sat with Daniel, trying to work Bella’s name into the conversation so he could find out how she really was. He knew Daniel saw her every now and again, which burned, but apparently, Bella had friend-zoned Daniel, so that made it bearable.

  The Avalanche was getting an ass-kicking courtesy of Minnesota and he couldn’t watch anymore.

  “So . . .” Sharing the news on Adam wasn’t really bringing Bella into this. “I got a verified report this afternoon that Adam has been seen in Chicago.”

  “Really?” Daniel stopped with a fistful of chips halfway to his mouth. “That’s good news, right?”

  “It’s good in that he’s all the way over there.” Nate took the recliner next to Daniel. They’d moved their game watching to Nate’s house. No boiled cabbage and ratchet neighbor smell here. “But it bugs me as well.”

  Munching his chips, Daniel raised a brow. Nate always put a bowl of them next to him. When the need for beer rose, Daniel liked his chips close at hand. “Why’s that?”

  “He gave up.” Nate let the Avs take the power play before he finished his thought. “Guys like him don’t give up and move on just like that.”

  “You think he’ll be back?” Daniel double-fisted chips.

  Nate felt his pain. They’d all been jumpy over Adam’s missing act. “I know he’ll be back. After all he went through, he sees her as his. He’s not going to let Bella go.”

  “Have you told Bella?” Daniel gave him that look that said Nate wasn’t kidding anyone.

  “Not yet.” Someone scored; screwed if he knew who. He’d catch it on the replay anyway. “I thought I might have a word with that rent-a-cop.”

  “Simon.” Daniel grinned at him, and not in a nice way. In a gloating way that made Nate want to punch him. In the old days, they’d be rolling on the floor throwing punches by now. Sometimes he missed the old days. “His name is Simon, but you know that. And he’s a really good guy, but you know that too.”

  Nate did know that, but no way in hell was he admitting it. He grunted and tried to get into the game.

  “She’s good,” Daniel said. “In case you were wondering. Bella is doing great.”

  He shrugged, but the news both relieved and pissed him off. Of course he was glad Bella was doing okay. Except the dickwad in him wasn’t so sure she should be okay without him around.

  “You’re doing the right thing,” Daniel said.

  Nate wished he could take some kind of comfort from that, but he missed her. Missed her big blue eyes. Missed the way she crinkled her nose at him. Missed the way she seemed to be surrounded in a cloud of happy, sparkly fairy dust. He nodded.

  “Bella is a forever girl,” Daniel said. “She deserves a guy who’ll go the distance for her.”

  “Like you?” It was a low blow and Nate wasn’t proud of himself, but it had gotten away from him.

  “Dude,” Daniel shook his head, “she doesn’t want me. If she did, though, I’d be there for the whole thing. Unless you can say the same, you need to stay away and let that girl find someone who will.”

  ChapterTwenty-Eight

  Bella’s Christmas Day began with a call to her parents and Nana. Nana had a lot to say, as per usual, about the store. Mom cried because they weren’t spending Christmas together and Dad wanted to know all about Adam. Outside her window, the weather did its best to help her throw off the gloom. Bright sunlight bounced off a sparkling white layer of fresh snow.

  With Adam and Nate disturbing what Dr. Childers called the calm center of your power, Bella’s Christmas spirit was dented. Flipping on her Binger Christmas carols, she made a decision: enough of this. She loved Christmas and she refused to be depressed.

  From the kitchen came the sounds of Simon up and about. You had to love a man who got the coffee going before you even hit the shower.

  She slopped into the kitchen in her robe and bunny slippers. He also made the best coffee. Ever.

  “Morning.” Simon smiled at her over his mug. “Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas.” Bella wished she could better appreciate the view of a shirtless Simon. The man put the fine in defined abs. “What? No littl
e Santa hat?”

  “I’m saving that for Phi.” He poured her a mug, added cream as she liked it, and handed it to her. “We’re due there in a couple of hours, so you best start gathering that mountain of presents you’ve got under your tree.”

  She pulled a face at him. Simon didn’t get the Christmas spirit. It didn’t bother him in the least to be spending Christmas without his family. You learned a lot about a person when you lived with him. Except if that person was Simon Walker, and then you were left with a whole lot more questions than answers.

  “Noel’s at it early this morning.” Simon stared out the window at the street. “Damn, and he’s loaded up.”

  Bella joined Simon at the window.

  Noel came over every day to see Liz. Whether she’d agree to see him was a crapshoot. Still, undeterred, he would be back the next day.

  He staggered up Liz’s walkway, arms loaded with gifts.

  Apparently, Liz was either moved by the Christmas spirit or curious as hell to know what was in all those brightly wrapped packages because the door opened and Noel gained admittance.

  “Do you think she’ll take him back?” Bella sipped her coffee. Sometimes the door opened again and Noel got kicked out. The door stayed shut this morning.

  “Not sure.” Simon shrugged. “But even the best of men do bad things sometimes. Nobody’s perfect.”

  The echo of old pain in his words stopped Bella for a moment.

  “Go and get dressed.” Simon glanced at her. “I hate being late.”

  Bella topped up her coffee. “You know I’ll get your secrets out of you eventually. All of them.”

  “Nah.” Simon gave her a sad smile. “You don’t want my crap in your brain.”

  * * *

  Phi loved celebrations and Christmas was her second favorite holiday. Valentine’s Day took the number one slot and buried Phi’s Folly under acres of red ribbons and hearts. For Christmas, the weird house drifted straight into a Victorian Christmas card.

  Bella and Simon parked outside in what Phi called the kitchen yard. A ratty dog trotted past wearing a red-and-green bow that dwarfed his head.