Becoming Bella

by Sarah Hegger

  “Where’s your shadow?” Daniel handed her an apron.

  “He went home.” Bella ducked her head and tied her apron. If Daniel saw her face, he’d know she was lying. “We think Adam is gone.”

  Daniel frowned and put down his paring knife. “Did Nate confirm that?”

  “Yup.” Damn, her voice sounded too chipper. She grabbed a handful of carrots. “What are we doing with these?”

  “Peel and grate.” Daniel tilted his head and studied her. “Nate said this Adam guy was nothing to worry about anymore?”

  “No.” She stuck as close to the truth as she dared. “But Adam was seen in Chicago just before Christmas, so he thinks the threat to me is over.”

  “Bella.” Daniel caught her hand in midpeel. “You’re lying and you totally suck at it.”

  “Yes, I am.” Bella gave up. “But could you leave it at that for me? Could you do that?”

  Daniel stilled. Then he nodded. “Okay, Bella.” He grated three carrots and then slammed his grater down on the table. “Fuck! No, I can’t leave it there. Tell me you’re going to be safe?”

  She didn’t want him worried about her. Bella covered Daniel’s hand with hers. “I’m going to be perfectly safe.”

  “Huh.” Daniel scowled. He picked up his grater and went back to work.

  Bella let out the breath she’d been holding. A new subject was called for. She pointed to a handmade poster pinned to the wall. In multicolored marker, it announced the St. Peter’s New Year’s Bash. Then somebody had drawn a bunch of sombreros and maracas, which she took to indicate a Mexican theme. “You going to that on New Year’s Eve?”

  Daniel glanced at the poster. “I hadn’t really thought it out. Why? You asking me out on a date, finally, Bella?”

  “No.” Her face heated. Daniel’s teasing had lost some of its edge. “But Liz and I haven’t made plans yet. I don’t feel like one of those swank places up on the hill. And staying home is sad. So, if you’re going and I’m going, we could meet there.”

  “I’m going.” Daniel grinned at her. “Ex-cons don’t exactly have a full social calendar.”

  “But not as my date.” She needed to know he got this.

  His gaze held hers. “I get it, Bella.”

  Bella read the uneven writing along the bottom of the sign. “It says its potluck. What should I bring?”

  “Whatever Liz makes.” Daniel threw her a wicked look.

  Bella could get huffy, but what was the point? She couldn’t cook for crap and everyone knew it.

  * * *

  Nate couldn’t say the hammering on his door came as a surprise. Tonight was Bella’s night to volunteer at the church with Daniel. He also knew firsthand how badly Bella lied.

  He opened the door to a fuming Daniel.

  “What the fuck?” Daniel stomped into his entrance hall, scattering loose snow. “Bella is all on her own?”

  “Take your boots off.” Nate had finished those floors himself. “And hang up your coat.”

  Daniel did as he was told and followed Nate into the kitchen. He’d lost none of his steam as he glared at Nate. “Don’t even think of feeding me that bullshit about how fuckwit has given up and disappeared.”

  “How’s Bella tonight?” Nate got Daniel the soda he liked from the fridge and dropped it onto the counter in front of him.

  “Bella is gorgeous.” Daniel popped the cap. “And you could have all that gorgeous if you got your head out of your ass long enough to do something about it.”

  Nate stared at him. This from Daniel? “You’re always telling me I’m no good for her.”

  “You aren’t.” Daniel sipped his soda. “But she seems to care for you, and any man who has a Bella wanting to be with him is a lucky one.”

  “What the hell?”

  Daniel shrugged and fiddled with the tab on his soda can. “I’ve been thinking about what I said to you last time.”

  “And . . . ?” Nate fetched a beer. He had the feeling he was going to need it for this conversation.

  “The way I spoke to you. That wasn’t right. I came back here expecting you to give me a second chance. And you did.” Daniel chugged his soda. “I didn’t do the same for you. You turned your life around and became a man I’m proud to call my friend. You’re not the same punk kid who screwed up. Just like I’m not that kid anymore.”

  “Still doesn’t mean I’m the right kind of guy for Bella.” Nate savored the sharp bite of hops, wishing he could wash away the sour taste in his mouth with it.

  Daniel studied him. “Dude! You’re the only one who can decide that. Now tell me what’s really going on with Bella.”

  Nate hesitated. Daniel wasn’t on his need-to-know list, but he might be useful. Daniel still had some of his old contacts, in places Nate as sheriff wasn’t welcome. He outlined Simon’s plan, such as it was.

  “Shit,” Daniel said.

  Pretty much what Nate kept thinking. Simon had checked in with him as soon as he left Bella’s place. Since then, the man had gone ghost. Not a sign of him, and Nate had looked carefully. Only the occasional message from a burner phone let Nate know Simon was still around.

  “You trust this Simon?” Daniel parked it on a stool and rested his elbows on the counter. “You trust he can get to Bella before Adam does?”

  “Yeah.” Nate had to laugh at them all. “I trust that he’s another member of the Bella Fan Club.”

  Daniel stared and then laughed. “Damn. We’re a truly sorry bunch of assholes. I bet you wish you’d tied that up when she was still following you around school.”

  Nate shook his head and got another beer.

  Lately, he’d been thinking a lot about him and Bella. He missed her, bone deep missed the hell out of her, and it was getting harder and harder to remember why he was no good for her. People did change, if they really wanted to. Matt had gotten his head out of his ass and gone for Pippa. Daniel had turned his addiction and his jail time into something good. Nate had taken a huge step in the right direction when he’d entered the police academy and then served first in SLC and now here. Was it really impossible for him to make another leap forward? Especially when he knew what, or who, waited for him to take the jump.

  ChapterThirty

  The renovations meant closing the store for January. Nana would lose her mind, but it had stopped mattering so much what Nana thought.

  January had always been one of Bella’s quietest months. After the December spending spree, people took stock and opened their credit card bills. Yeah, January pretty much sucked.

  Her online business would carry on through the renovations and Bella cleared out a space in her house for popular stock. A lot of the stuff she could leave in the store’s storerooms. But that meant moving everything from the storefront into the back.

  Liz and Noel jumped in to help, and the three of them now stood knee-deep in fabric and coat hangers.

  “Fucking hell.” Liz held up a sateen dress Nana had ordered in the eighties. “What is this?”

  Bella had to laugh. If Liz of the butt-bedazzled velveteen sweatpants wouldn’t touch the dress, it was truly hopeless. One of the advantages to this renovation would be finally getting rid of the stuff that made her shudder. The store needed a different direction and the few anchors still hanging around kept it and its tired décor in the eighties.

  In the past, even clearing out old, outdated stock had ended in a nasty battle with Nana. Bella had developed a way of pushing that stuff to the edges of the racks or burying them in sales racks at the back of the store.

  “Put it in the box for the Salvation Army.” Bella pointed to a growing number of boxes in the front of the store. Years of hiding fashion atrocities had gathered quite a haul.

  Liz eyed the dress, poking her finger at a large, floppy neck bow. “Do you think they’ll want it?”

  Bella couldn’t be sure anyone would want that dress. Judging by how many sizes of that particular one remained, so far there’d been no takers. Nana also didn’t be
lieve in working on consignment.

  Noel talked a whole lot less than Liz and therefore got a number of boxes sealed against the dust and neatly labeled and stacked in the storeroom.

  Pippa rapped on the glass door, holding up a carry tray of coffees.

  Bella let her in

  “I bring sustenance,” she said, putting the coffees on the checkout counter. “Matt has forbidden me from picking up heavy things, but I can bring coffee, and pack boxes.” From her large bag, she hauled out a paper bag. “And what would coffee be without a sweet friend?”

  Pippa wandered across the store. “You’re making good progress here.” She picked up the recently maligned dress, shuddered, and dropped it back. “My honey is going to make your store look fabulous.”

  Bella found her coffee and joined Pippa in the center of the store. “This is a whole new era for Bella’s.”

  “And a whole new era for Bella.” Pippa slung her arm over Bella’s shoulder. “I’m hella proud of you, sweet Bella.”

  The compliment rushed straight through Bella on a warm, fuzzy cloud of aw-shucks. “It was time.”

  “Past time.” Pippa took a huge sniff of Bella’s coffee. “God, I miss coffee.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  In her wool dress pants and cashmere sweater, Pippa looked as slim and elegant as ever. “I feel great.” She grimaced. “But between Matt and Phi, it’s hard to do anything. They watch me like hawks.”

  Bella got a little misty-eyed. Matt Evans had waited too long for his happily ever after. She could imagine how protective he would be of Pippa and their unborn child.

  “Speaking of Phi . . .” Pippa chuckled. “She’s offered her help if you want some guidance in the matter of the store’s color scheme.”

  “Thanks?” Bella had found the pink too much. Let loose in her store, Phi could do just about anything.

  Pippa eyed Liz and winced. “Really, Liz? Didn’t we have a conversation about bedazzled sweatpants?”

  Liz snorted. “I’m working here, give a girl a break.”

  “Just so you know, I’m accepting the excuse this once because you’re helping our Bella.” Pippa tucked into a chocolate muffin. “Also, chocolate mellows me out.”

  “I like ’em,” Noel said.

  All female eyes swung his way.

  Noel flushed and tried to hide behind the counter. “I mean, I like Liz’s pants. They work for her.”

  “Thank you, honey.” Liz gave him a tender smile.

  Progress? Who knew with those two.

  Pippa sniffled. “Damn hormones, but that was really, really sweet.”

  “Not really.” Noel blew on his coffee. “Liz always looks beautiful.”

  “Stop already.” Pippa wiped her eyes.

  Noel sipped. “She always did.”

  “Always?” Liz jammed her hands on her hips, but her tough-guy act wore paper thin, underscored by the vulnerability on her face.

  “Always.” Noel nodded. “Thought so the first time I saw you. Still think so.”

  “Then why?” Liz tossed up her hands. “Why?”

  The rawness in her voice hung like jagged tears between her and Noel.

  Pippa nudged her. “Perhaps we should—”

  “No.” Liz marched over to Noel. “I need to understand this.”

  “I wish I had a good answer for you.” Noel dropped his gaze. “I wish I could give you a reason, because if I could do that, I could show you that it will never happen again.”

  Bella really didn’t feel right witnessing this. “Liz, we’re going to leave you two alone.”

  “No, Bella.” Liz thumped the counter. “This can’t go on. I need to understand this and perhaps you can help me do it.”

  Outside the silent store, a car drove down Main Street. A man stepped out of the hardware store and climbed into a dusty pickup.

  Noel’s stricken expression grabbed hold of Bella and dug its claws in.

  “I don’t think you do.” Bella stepped closer to Liz and moved the cups out of striking range. “I think you do understand. I think you know the why, maybe even better than Noel does. What you have to do is decide what you’re going to do about it.”

  “Just like that?” Liz snapped her fingers.

  “No, not just like that, but you can’t spend your life being afraid.” Bella touched Liz’s hand, wanting to make the connection between them and to ease some of the hurt radiating out of her. “And I do know a little something about spending your life afraid.”

  Liz turned to her, her face stretched taut. “What do I do?”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “I want to be loved. Wholly. Completely. Passionately.”

  Noel stepped around from behind the counter. “I can do that, Liz. I already do.”

  “Shit.” Liz pressed her hands into her eyes. “Shit, shit, shit.”

  “Your move, babe.” Noel took her hands from her eyes. “I won’t keep coming around if it’s making you unhappy. I won’t do that anymore. I’ll do anything for another chance with you, but if it makes you unhappy, it’s not worth it. I love you, Liz, and I want to show you how much. Even if that means letting you go.” He gathered up his keys and wallet from the counter and left.

  Liz’s shoulders slumped. “I hate crying.”

  Bella put her arm around her. “Ask yourself if he never came back how you would feel.”

  “He hurt me.” Liz pulled free.

  “It happens.” Bella shrugged. “None of us are perfect. Nobody can love perfectly. In the end, it’s always going to be a leap of faith.”

  Liz stared out the window.

  Noel bleeped the locks to his truck. He stopped and looked back at the store.

  Bella had never seen a man look more broken.

  “Fuck this.” Liz ran. She hit the door with her palm. The bell jangled loudly. She stopped on the sidewalk, tense as a cat.

  Noel’s smile brought tears to Bella’s eyes when he opened his arms.

  Liz went into them and clung.

  Pippa sniveled and dug a Kleenex out of her purse. “Damn, Bella, when did you get so insightful?”

  Liz climbed in the passenger side of Noel’s truck and waved.

  Bella waved back. “I hope they make it.”

  “They will if they both want to.” Pippa dabbed at her creeping mascara.

  Pippa hung up her coat and got to work beside Bella. Mindful of Matt’s orders, Bella lifted the boxes when they were filled.

  Matt brought a truck to the back of the store and loaded up the stuff to go to the Salvation Army. He would drop it off before he went home. A tired and dusty Pippa hopped up beside him.

  Bella turned back into the store and locked the storeroom. She hoped Liz would be busy for the rest of the night. For her, it looked like a hot bath, a pizza, and a good movie.

  She wasn’t quite sure what she’d occupy herself with while the store was closed. She’d spent nearly every afternoon after school here at Bella’s, helping out first her grandmother and then her mother. Some kids might have resented the expectation that they would one day take over the store, but not her. She wandered through the front of the store and locked the street door. She turned the “Closed” sign to face the street. Dust motes hung in the air. Empty, the store seemed twice as big. Faded squares on the paint showed where she’d taken down old posters and pictures. Stains and worn patches on the carpet looked more obvious without the furniture and clothes racks. She toed the indentations where the sofa and table set had rested.

  Pippa had called it right. Bella’s stood on the edge of a brand-new start.

  How many times had she dusted the yellowed sweater shelves? She pushed a drawer closed and picked up an old price tag from the floor. Working in Bella’s, she had built her dreams for it over the years. Countless thoughts about what she would change, how she would make it hers.

  Winter had brought down the early dark and she flipped off the lights to the scrolled window sign. Come Monday it would join
everything else in the large Dumpster Matt had had delivered to the store back.

  Streetlights made yellow pools on the sleet-slicked road.

  In four weeks, her new sign would face the street, announcing to everyone who saw it that things had really changed at Bella’s.

  For the last time, she pulled her purse from beneath the cash register. Time to go home.

  Footsteps sounded from the storeroom. A tall, blond man stepped into the light. Adam smiled. “Hello, Bella.”

  ChapterThirty-One

  Bella woke with her stomach knotted tight. Weaving through the nausea was the constant thump of a sense of dread.

  Adam.

  She opened her gritty eyes. A flocked, yellowing ceiling hovered above her. Muscles screaming, she moved her neck. She couldn’t seem to move her arms and legs.

  Because they were tied down. She was tied down. Oh God! Tied to a sort of table in a dingy room that she didn’t recognize.

  She needed to keep it together. She needed to think. The panic shoved and howled against the pane of her conscious mind, demanding she let it in. Bella took a deep breath. Simon had told her panic was the biggest enemy. If she could keep her head, she might find her way out of this.

  How had she got here?

  Her brain felt fuzzy, as if she was staring through rain-splattered glass. She’d been in her store. That’s right. The last thing she remembered was switching off the light in her store. Then, he’d come through the back.

  Adam.

  She’d run. He’d caught her. A sharp prick in her neck and now she lay here.

  Simon must have seen something. She clung to the knowledge that Simon had waited in the shadows for Adam to appear. He was probably on his way right now. Might even be here.

  But what if he wasn’t coming? The worry wormed its way into her head.

  She couldn’t afford to think like that. Get information. Process. Plan.

  He could be anywhere. Thick boards covered the windows. It smelled damp and musty, and it was cold. A darkened doorway stood open to a dim passage beyond.