Surviving Eden

by Virginia Wine

“Well, sir… I research everyone I work with. I’m GWOT.”

  “GWOT? Global War on Terrorism? How is that related to me?”

  “Well, sir… It’s not, exactly. It’s because of your sister.”

  Paralyzed by his words, a lump forms in my throat, but I know I have to force the question.

  “My sister died when she was five.” Those details of the past are written in stone, literally. I know all too well, because I was the one who let her die. She’s gone.

  “Sir, I have conflicting evidence on that fact. I believe she may actually be alive.”

  A kind of sorrow replaces his current expression, as if he understands the turmoil he is inflicting.

  “She died.” I spit back the only truth I know. I find myself spinning out of control.

  Eden’s eyes fly up to meet mine as she rushes to my side.

  “Of course, we’ll need proof, but I’ve discovered compelling evidence and a solid time line of events. The dates line up. Her age, her first name.”

  “First?” Disbelief and defiance erupt in me. This can’t be happening. I feel empty, numb, but inside, my heart soars. While I understand the words, I’m still terrified to believe them. Suddenly I am drawn back to the night I lost her, and the devastating guilt I have lived with my entire life. How can I possibly believe this is true, and risk having my heart ripped out again?

  “She was adopted, and her father is in the Marine Corps, a lifer. This fact allowed me access to sensitive material that lead me to believe that she is alive and well. She’s living under the name Madison Perry.”

  At the mere thought of this terrifying revelation, I draw in a sharp, startled breath, then immediately feel sick. I need space, and air. I begin to pace aimlessly as a flood of unpleasant memories flash through my mind. Passing the fireplace, I pause, reaching out, putting my hand on the mantel. I fight for control, resting my head on my forearm. This is life-changing for me. I need to do something. But what?

  “We’ll figure this out, Theo, don’t worry.”

  Alex’s words of comfort do nothing to rescue me from my inner termoil. I look over my shoulder at three pairs of questioning eyes.

  “What if you’re wrong?” I ask, feeling disoriented and in a haze of uncertainty. Common sense tells me it can’t be true, but I’m still confused as hell, gripping my pounding head as it aches in fury.

  “We’ll need proof, of course. DNA is a possibility,” Steel suggests.

  “Give me a moment,” I say in a groggy voice, trying to wrap my head around the news that she’s alive. I’ve buried it so deep within me, and now I am imagining the unthinkable.

  “I’ll take that drink now. How about you, Theo?” Alex asks.

  I nod without a sound.

  “Does she know? Have you approached her?”

  My words echo through the room as I abruptly turn to see concern written on everyone’s face.

  “No, the plan was to approach you first. Come up with a strategy, then move forward.”

  Eden approaches with a short glass, filled halfway with scotch, neat. I can feel my hands shaking as I take the crystal. Our eyes meet again, and she’s smiling at me in a way that alludes to sympathy and comfort. Her warm hand lands on my arm, giving a gentle squeeze as I raise the glass, draining it.

  “So, what’s next?” I say, as if to convince myself that his words are real.

  “You will meet, if that’s what it takes.” Steel’s forehead furrows as he realizes the anguish he is witnessing. “You’ll have to trust me, sir. I fully understand the delicate nature of this assignment.”

  “Can you be more specific? You can’t expect me to sit by patiently and wait for the next bomb to explode. I need details.”

  My words are laced with sarcasm. It’s painfully obvious to everyone the state I’m in. The truth will be hard, whichever outcome manages to survive. I just have to keep my head above water until then.

  “Theo, let Steel do what he does best. Rely on his experience and his connections to see this through.”

  I swallow the fear down as I hear Alex’s words. He has an uncanny way of calming me, and in that moment, it’s clear to me why he’s here.

  I’ve been so busy thinking about my world imploding, I neglected why we were gathered. We need to focus on why they were originally called upon. This meeting was supposed to be about Eden—her search, or so I thought.

  “Eden’s past is our priority.”

  As I force a smile, I make my way over to the couch, tugging her next to me, absorbing the feel of her.

  She surveys the room, thoughtful.

  “Nonsense.” Her eyes swing back to mine. “It’s fine, Theo. This is going to change your life in a big way. It’s happening now, and I want to be a part of it.”

  She pulls me in closer, eager to comfort me. Her expression is soft and filled with understanding.

  “You will be, but that doesn’t discount the priority of the search for your birth parents.”

  I leap into action on her behalf, believing I’ve affronted her lifelong struggle, that I’ve monopolized the entire evening. Her pain is my pain, and I have only scratched the surface of showing her what she means to me. This revelation is both terrifying and pleasing. I can’t tear that wall down on my own, but stone by stone, she is the answer.

  “Eden, you have a file for Steel.”

  “I do.” She slides the thick stack of paperwork over to his side of the coffee table. “It has all the details of my past that I’m aware of. My birth certificate, adoption papers. By the way, it was a private adoption, but the only information I could find was from my Uncle Vince and my lawyer Mr. Conrad. My goal is to reveal my birth parents’ reasons for the adoption, and their current whereabouts.”

  Steel flashes her an easygoing smile and takes the file.

  “First and foremost, Theo’s sister is our priority,” she says, pivoting back to me. Then she gives me that look that screams we’re in this together.

  As if I’d ever fucking forget.

  “I understand. I’ll primarily focus on contacting Madison Perry, but I have a team in place to assist with both investigations.”

  “When should we anticipate our next meeting?” I ask, attempting to hide any form of anxiety.

  “Soon,” he says, oozing competence. He’s very reassuring in his body language and behavior. A demanding presence, yet an easy man to have faith in.

  We shake hands and walk both men to the door. Alex leans in and innocently kisses Eden’s cheek, but he can’t resist throwing a sly look my way.

  “Try and get some sleep tonight, you two,” Alex offers as he follows Steel out the door.

  My heart beats a little faster knowing I could take her in my arms right now. I’m acutely aware that we are bound together now, since she willingly allowed me access to every part of her. What I’m not fully prepared for is her ability to reassure me, without uttering a single word.

  Is Madison truly alive? It’s not in my nature to believe the unbelievable. I have a death grip on the past, and I’m not sure how to let go and open my heart to the possibility that she may indeed be alive. I’ve lived my entire life without my sister, but a new type of guilt arises in me, filling my head with tainted dreams of what could have been.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Eden

  Moments later we silently make our way to the front door to say our goodnights., both shaken by the events of the evening. Theo wraps me in his arms as he buries his face in my neck. His breath feels warm on my skin. It’s hard to know for sure where his mind is. We never got the opportunity to discuss what happened between us, or Steel’s revelation. No matter how unwelcome it might have been, a part of him has to let himself believe that it might be true.

  “Want to talk about it?” I offer.

  “Not yet.” His eyes met mine with conflicted emotions., his fingers running down the length of my curls. “Soon, though.”

  I understand he’s still in shock, and that both scenarios could have an
adverse outcome once played out. He has to work it out himself, but that doesn’t stop my need for reassurance.

  His kiss goodbye is possessive, and a potent one at that. He devours my mouth as if he’s battling the desire to move slow.

  I hold on tight, feeling the muscles in his back flex against my fingers. The hunger ignites a pure sexual need we both fight to control.

  I have to admit, he has a tight hold on my heart, but the question still lingers about whether or not he can love me. The thought leaves me with an aching emptiness. I want so much more than a brief fling. I want all of him, and I want him to want all of me.

  Will his professional conflict and strong work ethic come between us? Will he pull away to catch his breath while he waits on the verge of the biggest shock of his life?

  He doesn’t seem ready to discuss that, either.

  I watch his car lights through my window as they fade into the darkness. I try to calm my nerves, but I feel anything but as I replay the events of the evening. Once in the kitchen, I pour myself a much-needed glass of wine and walk to the glass door to admire the view.

  There have been no promises between us, no declarations of love. His kiss says he needs me, and when he looked at me, it was as if he had an intense urge to say he was exactly where he was supposed to be. I have to trust that and lean on the implicit language of his touch. Sooner or later, hopefully the words will fall into place.

  ***

  I awake with a startling jolt as memories come flooding back, a glaring reminder of what is still hanging between us. I chastise myself for being so caught up in my head. I have to exercise some patience if I am going to get through the drama that will change both of our lives and our relationship—if that’s what it is.

  My thoughts trail off when I’m interrupted by my phone notifying me a text has just come in. Reaching for the table, I see it’s a message from Gage.

  “You alone? Five minutes away. Donuts and coffee.”

  “Yes, I’m alone. Use your key.”

  I grab my robe as I make my way downstairs. Then I twist my curly brown hair up and stick a pencil through it.

  “Cool seventies, my ass,” Gage says as he walks through the door. Then he pulls the key out and pushes it back in his pocket. “It’s hot as fuck already.”

  He wipes his forehead as he balances all our morning goodies in one hand.

  “Here, let me help.” I take my coffee and the box, then head to the kitchen.

  “What brings you here, Gage?”

  He gives me a thorough once-over.

  “Good morning to you, too,” he says dryly, grabbing two plates, then sitting on the barstools. He opens the box of donuts.

  I watch his two fingers hover over the choices until he finally lands on the powdered sugar.

  “Don’t you remember asking me to come over?”

  “No. Nice try, though,” I say, as I rest my hand on my hip. “You just want me to dish about the doctor.”

  “Well, there is that,” he says with a white-powdered smile, grinning at me.

  It’s hard not to laugh back as I reach to wipe it off.

  He slaps my hand away. “Quit it!” Then he stuffs the remaining piece in his mouth.

  “It’s complicated,” I say as I’m drawn back to the night before.

  “Excuse me. I can do complicated, so start talking.”

  I take a deep breath and pull out the chair next to him. I can’t stop myself, so I pour my entire heart out to him, not missing a beat. Once the flood has stopped, all humor disappears and I wait silently. I can tell he’s slowly processing.

  Eventually he pats my arm and rests it there.

  “Wow, for real?” Gage scratches the side of his head, and the words just hang there in the air. “This is a disaster waiting to happen.”

  I’m not exactly sure which disaster he is referring to.

  “Is that the best you can do?”

  “Little dove, just remember that you have me. You always have.”

  “Uh-huh.” I’m frustrated beyond belief. He’s acting weird, even for him, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Right now he’s giving me a whole lot of nothing.

  Suddenly he reaches across and silently brushes aside an errant curl. “You love him, admit it.”

  And somehow, in an instant, Gage manages to change the way I feel, for the better.

  “You need to let the good doctor fall in his own time, trust it will happen, he’ll catch up with you, don’t worry.”

  It’s always been this simple, I realize. This guarded man of mine just needs time.

  “I can do that.”

  Gage nods approvingly. “His world is caught up in a storm, Eden, and until the truth is exposed, he may keep his heart firmly in place.”

  “Well, that really is it, isn’t it?”

  “He’s a man, Eden. I hardly think he’ll stay away entirely.”

  Gage’s mouth splits into a wide grin. “If it’s real, it will stand the test of time, and you’ll climb the mountains together.”

  “Sometimes you can be very corny, Gage.”

  He cocks his head in a smart-alecky way.

  “Sometimes?” He expels a breath, unquestionably holding back a mischievous comment.

  “I have to admit it, Gage. You’re more than just a pretty boy.”

  He snorts at my lame attempt at being witty.

  “Unoriginal, Eden. Leave the humor to the experts,” he says, assessing what other donut options he has.

  “I still love your ungrateful self,” I say as I launch myself into his arms and give him a wet sloppy kiss on his cheek.”

  “Ew.” He pulls away, wiping slobber off his cheek.

  “That’s not very nice.” I pretend to pout and draw him in even closer, forcing my affection on my best friend.

  “Okay, I’m kinda hot,” he says as a slight chuckle rolls out and he returns the hug. “Let me know what you uncover.”

  Then he grabs a glazed donut for the road, shrugs his bag over his arm, and kisses me on the cheek. “Farewell, grasshopper.”

  “You’re hilarious. In what world does that make sense?”

  “Nothing makes sense, love. Ponder this mystery, though. If the number two pencil is the most popular, then why is it still number two?”

  He winks, and with that, he’s out the door, locking it behind him.

  ***

  I’m caught off guard when an unexpected call from my Uncle Vince crosses my cell phone screen. He hasn’t bothered to check in with me since the funeral, and I’ve been just fine with that. Hell, after the other day, it’s the last thing I need right now.

  I answered anyway.

  “Hello?” I’m surprised at my own suspicious tone.

  “Eden, dear. How are you?”

  Kindness seems to pour off of him, but it feels far from genuine. His not-so-subtle charm is tainted with something I can’t name. Yet.

  “As good as can be expected,” I answer.

  “Understandable.”

  Silence floats in the air for a beat longer than necessary, causing an uneasy feeling within me. What is this all about?

  “Did you need something?” The need to be cautious trickles up my spine as I wait for his response.

  “I heard about the will.”

  He doesn’t waste any time does he?

  “I share the same attorney as Mathew, so he filled me in.”

  “So, tell me. Attorney-client privileges and confidentiality, don’t they apply here?” I ask in a tone laced with irritation.

  I can’t explain exactly where the anger is coming from, but it’s definitely there.

  “Eden, we’re family.”

  That’s up for debate. As my only living relative, a small part of me had hoped we might bond. We certainly have had our share of loss in common, so you would think the bereavement might unite us. That hasn’t been the case. “Does the family…” I begin, emphasizing the word. “Have any issues with the inheritance, and how the previsions were iss
ued?”

  “Eden, please. I only meant that maybe we could help each other.”

  It sounds as if he’s tiptoeing around what he really wants to ask.

  “Help, how?” I’m feeling defensive. Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe it’s the years growing up with minimal contact, no memories of barbecues or birthday parties in the back yard. It’s as if he consciously didn’t participate in our lives, and I’ve never known why.

  Or could it be that I miss my parents, really miss them, and not one word has been spoken about them by him? At the very least, he should be acknowledging that he just lost his brother.

  “I have some investments I’d like to discuss with you,” he says with conviction.

  “Investments?” I pause to process his reason for contacting me, trying to appear calm as I proceed. “Did you offer these same proposals to my father?”

  This has scheme written all over it.

  “I did, Eden, but you know your father. He was extremely conservative when it came to finances.”

  “What makes you think I would be any different?”

  What a total ass.

  “You’re young, Eden. You should take advantage of your youth. Don’t let your parents’ actions dictate how you live your life. Take a chance. Venture out beyond your comfort zone. The possibilities are endless.”

  A used car salesman comes to mind as I remind myself that I don’t really know this man, or trust him. It’s possible that my parents were only protecting me from him, protecting the family. It’s likely the reason they were always so wary of him and kept their distance.

  “Uncle Vince, for starters, money and investments are so far off my radar right now. Healing is what I’m focusing on.”

  I silently thank my parents for the financial security they left me. It’s becoming clear why my Uncle Vince was left out.

  Little does he know that I am chasing the information concerning my birth parents, and the knowledge he and everyone else hid from me my entire life.

  “Well, would you look at the time,” he says quickly, prompting him to clear his throat then suddenly ends the call.

  I’m glad he didn’t press me, but he’s left me in a mass of confusion. Couple that with todays meeting with Theo in his office, this was beginning to send unease down my spine. Why I agreed to this arrangement is beyond me. Realistically, how can we separate our personal lives from our professional lives?