Rumor Has It: A Bad Boy Romantic Comedy

by Lila Moore

  People screamed our names; lights blinded us as the paparazzi snapped photos. At least the restaurant had security pushing people back. They weren’t allowed to come close to any of the restaurant’s patrons. Still, we took our time entering. It was important the paparazzi had several good shots of us holding hands and gazing adoringly into each other’s eyes.

  Louis wrapped an arm around my neck, pulled me close and kissed my forehead. The crowd oohed and ahhed. They found us adorable. In truth, we were a cute couple. Too bad it was one hundred percent fake.

  Louis took my hand and led me into the restaurant. Once we were inside, safe from the prying eyes of our fans and the paparazzi, he dropped my hand. We took a seat at a table in the corner of the room. It was dark and intimate. It would make for a romantic spot. I glanced at Louis and frowned. It would be nice to share a meal with a man I loved. I guess I’d have to settle for the situation my life had handed me. We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes we have to make compromises to survive.

  I sat down and picked up the menu. Everything looked delicious. The food was drowning in butter. The studio had me on a strict diet. If I put on a pound, they would kill me. To hell with them. I wanted to live for once. I ordered the most fattening, unhealthy thing I could find on the menu, plus a lemon drop martini to go with it. Louis raised an eyebrow at my choices.

  “That’s not part of your diet,” he said. “You should order a salad. Your ass has been looking a bit thicker lately. You don’t want to get fat.”

  Lucky for Louis, Theo walked up to us at that exact moment. If he hadn’t, I think I might have punched him in the face.

  “Who’s fat?” he asked.

  Louis nodded towards me. I wanted to kill him.

  “You’re joking,” Theo said. “She’s far too skinny. I hope you ordered a hearty meal. You could stand to put on twenty pounds or so.”

  I smiled. “Thank you, Theo. Yes, I did.”

  He took a seat at our table. His eyes constantly darted around the room as if he was anticipating an attack. A few people in the restaurant turned to regard us, but for the most part, no one cared. These people weren’t fans. They were wealthy snobs who weren’t impressed by anything. They couldn’t care less about celebrities.

  Or at least that’s what they wanted the world to think. Quietly, they were as fascinated by celebrity as the average fan. I’ve privately met with several wealthy people who want to know what it’s like to live my life. They want tips. They think their money can buy fame. The truth is everyone wants a taste of the fame game no matter how much they pretend not to care.

  Once, a billionaire offered me a million dollars to sleep with him. At first I thought he was joking. I laughed it off, but when he didn’t join in I realized he was serious.

  “I couldn’t possibly,” I’d said with a wink.

  “Two million,” he’d offered, raising the stakes.

  “You’re a bad boy,” I replied with a laugh, then excused myself.

  I got out of there as quickly as I could. I’m not a prostitute, though I know several actresses who would have slept with him for far less than a million dollars. That’s the dark side of Hollywood no one talks about-actresses sleeping with wealthy men for money or roles. I’ve never fucked for parts, though I’ve had plenty of offers. When I first started in this business, I constantly lost parts to actresses who were more than willing to blow a producer for a starring role in the studio’s next big movie. It’s hard to compete in an industry that favors girls willing to trade sexual favors for parts.

  I tried to succeed the honest way, and to be frank, it was impossible. At least, it was until I met Shonda. She saw my potential and took me under her wing. She’d never admit it, but I think she quietly admired me for not behaving like the other girls. Hollywood is not exactly known for its morals, or for promoting people who have the strength of their convictions though. With Shonda’s help, I managed to survive in spite of a rigged system.

  Actually, that’s not entirely true. Like I said, I’ve never fucked for parts, but I did enter into a devil’s bargain to get what I want. I’m not totally without morals, but I’m definitely not America’s Sweetheart either.

  “Your acting alone won’t cut it,” Shonda said to me one bright sunny day in LA.

  We sat by the pool at an exclusive hotel in Beverly Hills. When she saw the hurt look on my face, she’d raised her hands defensively.

  “Don’t get me wrong. You’re a good actress. I’m just saying it’s not enough. You know how show business works. You want to succeed you got to play the game.”

  “How?” I’d asked naively.

  “What do you know about PR relationships?”

  That’s how I met Louis. Now as I sat across from him, watching him eat lobster with his bare hands, I wondered if it was worth it. Would I give it all up if the right guy came along? I glanced at Theo. He was watching me. When our eyes met, he quickly looked away.

  I picked up my lemon drop martini and took a big gulp. It had been a while since I’d had alcohol; the drink went straight to my head.

  “Yet again you ignored a direct order,” Theo said.

  I averted my eyes.

  “What’s that?” Louis said with a mouthful of food.

  “I told you to wait in the limo until I gave you the okay to exit.”

  “Everything was okay,” Louis replied with a shrug. “What’s the big deal?”

  “Have you read the letters Jamie’s stalker has sent her? Maybe you should read the most recent one where he threatens to-”

  “Theo, please. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  I tried to play it cool, but in truth the letters had frightened me. The more I thought about them, the more freaked out I became. That’s why I was doing my best to distract myself with shopping and spa visits. It was a shallow waste of time, but it put me at ease.

  “Please,” I said. “I don’t want to hear about it.”

  Theo frowned. I understood his frustration but it was all too disturbing for me to comprehend.

  “He threatened to kill her. So, what? I get death threats all the time. It’s just people messing about. It’s not serious. You’ve got to have thick skin in this business,” Louis said, unimpressed.

  Theo stared at him in disbelief. He gritted his teeth so hard that I could see the muscle in his jaw twitch.

  “So, what?” he said, raising his voice in disbelief.

  “Keep your voice down, mate,” Louis pleaded.

  “He didn’t just threaten to kill her. He threatened to keep her. He provided pictures of the dungeon he’s building just for her.”

  Butterflies stirred in my stomach. Without thinking, I started to pick at the skin around my nails. It was a nasty habit I picked up as a kid. When I get nervous I pick at my nails and skin.

  “Theo, please,” I shouted.

  You could have heard a pin drop in the room. Everyone was staring at us. I smiled to the people watching us, as if that was a magical cure for the awkwardness in the air.

  “Look,” Louis said, “I do all my own stunts. If someone attacks Jamie, I can handle it myself. No one needs you around.”

  Theo shook his head. “You people are unbelievable. This is a serious threat. It’s not make believe. The real world is not a movie. If you don’t follow my security procedures, you’ll end up dead or worse.”

  Louis rolled his eyes and dug back into his lobster.

  “I’ll be waiting outside when you’re ready to leave,” Theo said. He stood, pushing the chair back from the table with a loud screech.

  “Wait. I’m done with dinner. I’ll go with you.”

  “You’re just going to leave me?” Louis asked. “What about the paps outside? They’ll wonder why you abandoned me alone. They’ll gossip. It will cause problems. You know what happens when there’re problems.”

  His voice dropped to a low rumble; he glared at me intensely. The sight of his ‘serious’ face made me bust out laughing. Once I started, I c
ouldn’t stop. Louis just looked so stupid. He was acting of course. Louis was one of the least intimidating people I’ve ever met, and he’d not a good enough actor to fake it.

  Theo looked at the both of us like we were insane. Then he took me by the arm and led me out of the restaurant. We left through a back exit and got straight into my waiting limo.

  “What was that about?” he asked as soon as we were safely inside. “Was he threatening to hurt you?”

  “Who? Louis?” I scoffed. “No.”

  “Then what did he mean? It sounded like a threat to me. And if that prima donna fucker thinks he’s going to get away with threatening you, then-”

  My face burned hot. It had been a long time since a man had stood up for me. “It’s nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing. What was he talking about?”

  I chewed on thumbnail. Outside my window, the city street passed slowly by. Fans had lined the sidewalk hoping to get a glimpse of Louis and I together. America’s Sweethearts. They loved us as a couple. We’d starred in three hit films together and the studio was talking about putting us in another two together.

  We weren’t just a couple, we were a brand. We put asses in the seats and made hundreds of millions of dollars for studios. Our romance had made both Louis and I wealthy beyond my imagination. I’d never want for anything because of the devil’s bargain I struck with him early in my career.

  “Jamie,” Theo said, “I can’t protect you if I don’t know everything. Tell me. What’s wrong?”

  I sighed. Could I trust Theo? I had to. What choice did I have?

  “You signed a NDA right?”

  NDA, or non-disclosure agreement. Shonda makes everyone who works for me sign one. It’s a legally binding contract that forbids anyone from disclosing confidential information. If they spill personal details about my life, I can sue them into oblivion. Every major star has one with their employees.

  “Yeah, of course. Whatever you have to say will stay confidential. You have my word.”

  “Louis and I have a PR relationship,” I whispered as if someone was listening in.

  “A what?”

  “A PR relationship. We’re not really a couple. We just pretend because it gets us good press.”

  “I see…” he said, sounding as if he didn’t see at all.

  “You can’t tell anyone, Theo. If word gets out, we’re all finished. None of us will ever work in this business again. You won’t be able to get a job as a mall security guard by the time the studios done destroying your life.”

  “I don’t understand why it’s a big deal.”

  “Hollywood is all one big fairy tale, but people want to believe in the fantasy. If they knew the truth, it would ruin all the magic.”

  “So… the reason Louis was threatening you is because…?”

  “When I first came to Hollywood, I wasn’t willing to do what it takes to become a big star if you know what I mean.” I gave Theo a meaningful look. He looked more confused than ever. “You know what the casting couch is right?”

  He stared at me blankly.

  “Producers and directors offer roles in exchange for sexual favors. It happens all the time. I’m not willing to go down on some disgusting, sleazy producer for a part, so it’s harder for me to get work. Are you following now?”

  I was starting to lose my temper. Talking about Hollywood’s dark underbelly always made me feel like I needed a hot shower. I spent my career on the outer limits of it, watching talented girls with stars in their eyes and dreams of fame fall victim to it. Most of those girls end up washed-up, addicted to drugs and unemployable. It’s beyond sad.

  I’ve done what I can to avoid a similar route in life, but temptation is everywhere. In my darker moments, I’ve thought why not? Sleep with a director once, get cast in a Blockbuster movie, win an Oscar, makes millions of dollars, and more. Sounds like a simple trade, right? I could never grow through with it. Shonda did guilt me into entering into a PR relationship with Louis, though.

  “But your career is thriving. Your movies are huge hits. Why would you need some agreement to boost your profile? You’re already insanely famous.”

  “It’s more complicated than that. I’m only famous because of Louis. When we settled on this arrangement, I was a nobody. He was a huge star with an image problem.”

  Louis had been in several fights. He was also haunted by rumors about his sexuality that would not go away.

  “He’s gay,” I blurted out.

  “What?”

  “Louis’s gay, and that’s unacceptable in the public relations world. It’s fucked up, but that’s how it is. Studios are worried that if Louis came out of the closet, it would ruin his brand. He’s hugely popular with teenage girls. They all want to date him, or marry him, or whatever. It’s those girls that go and see his movie again and again. They blow their allowances on merchandise and they spend all day online talking about how hot he is. Louis’s teenage fanbase is a huge source of income for the studios, not to mention all the free press they generate.”

  “So, what you’re saying is that if he comes out as gay, it would ruin their fantasy and they’d stop going to see his movies?”

  I nodded.

  “And that’s the reason why he can’t live his life the way he wants to in public?”

  “It’s super fucked up, but that’s the way the studio heads think. All they care about is money.”

  “So you pretend to be in love? You pose for the paparazzi and lie to the press about how much you love each other for no other reason than to get good PR for your movies.”

  “Yeah,” I said with a shrug. “As soon as I started making public appearances with Louis, my career took off. Our contract lasts for another year. If I don’t fulfill it, I’ll be in a lot of trouble.”

  Our PR teams had already orchestrated our breakup. It would happen right before the release of our next movie, that way we would get maximum exposure.

  “He’s paying you to pretend to be his girlfriend?”

  “Right.”

  “I don’t have any feelings for him. And even if I did, well, he’s gay, so nothing could ever come of it.”

  I wasn’t sure why it was important that Theo know this. I didn’t want him to think Louis and I were actually in love, or attracted to one another. Theo ran a hand through his hair.

  “Why did I ever agree to this?” he said as if thinking out loud. He looked out the window, lost in thought.

  “I take this seriously,” I blurted out. “I mean, I know you think I don’t, but I do. I understand how hard you’re working and…”

  “This isn’t about me. This is about protecting you. I can’t keep you safe unless you do what I say.”

  “I will.”

  “You haven’t so far,” he snapped. “You’re spoiled and bratty. You’re used to having fans kiss your ass. I’m not your fan. I was hired to do a job. If you can’t do what I say, then there’s no point to me being here.”

  “You’re quitting?”

  Theo rolled down the window separating us from the driver. “Pull over,” he ordered. The limo came to an abrupt stop. Theo opened the door and stepped out.

  “Wait!” I crawled out of the limo after him. “I need you,” I said pathetically.

  Theo stopped in his tracks. He turned to face me. “You need a reality check. You’ve been pampered in Hollywood for too long. This guy is out there, watching, planning. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up-”

  “Don’t say it! I don’t want to think about dying.”

  “He won’t kill you. He’s going to keep you locked up. You’ll become his new pet.”

  I hugged my coat around me. “Please stay, Theo. This is why I need you. No one understands the threat better than you do.”

  His expression softened, but stubborn defiance still lingered in his eyes.

  “You’re a soldier,” I said. “You’re used to having orders followed. I’m just a celebrity. I’m not used to following commands.”
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  “To put it mildly,” he replied drily.

  “Just give me a chance. I can change. I’ll do whatever you want.”

  He frowned, but I could see the resistance breaking down.

  “Look, I don’t care about this stupid arrangement you have with your pretend-boyfriend. The two of you can play whatever childish games with the press you want, but if it compromises your safety, then it has to stop.”

  “Of course,” I lied. No way could I break my contract with Louis without severe consequences. I’d cross that bridge when I had to. For now, I was focused on keeping Theo around.

  “Does that mean you’ll stay?” I asked. I tried to keep the eagerness out of my voice, but I’m not that good of an actress.

  He sighed. “Yes.”

  Foolishly, I squealed with delight. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug. He stood there stiffly as if he wasn’t interested, but a smile played at the corner of his lips.

  “This isn’t professional,” he said drily.

  “C’mon,” I said, slapping his ass. “Let’s get back in the limo.”

  I didn’t wait for him to respond. I jumped into the limo and hoped he would follow. To my relief, he slid in beside me and slammed the car door shut behind him. I waited for him to tell me not to be so foolish, that I had to treat him with the respect a professional deserved. But all Theo said was: “Drive.”

  The limo took off. I suspected Theo liked me more than he was willing to admit. I stared at the side of his face. His profile was meant for the screen. He could have been a movie star if he wanted to. His chiseled jaw and high cheekbones looked like they’d been carved by the gods.

  “Why are you staring at me?” Theo said. He kept his gaze on the passing scene outside the window. How did he know I was staring?

  “I wasn’t staring,” I lied.

  He turned to regard me. I crossed and uncrossed my legs hoping to draw his attention away from my flushed face. He kept his eyes glued on mine. I cleared my throat.

  “Look, I know I’m a little spoiled…”

  “A little?”

  “…but people change. I just want you to know that I’m fully committed.”