by Tara Bond
Alex must have felt my reaction, because he bent his head, so his mouth was next to my ear, and said: “Do you want to go outside and cool down?”
I knew what he was really asking, and for a moment I hesitated. There was enough of the sensible part of me left to know exactly what I was getting myself into. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
He grabbed my hand and led me out to the little alleyway behind the building, where clubbers came to take a break from the heat and noise. The cold air hit me as we emerged into the night, and it was a relief against my burning skin.
At the back of my mind, I knew this was a bad idea, something I was bound to regret. But I didn’t want to think about the consequences. For once, I wanted to act without thinking—to just go for what I wanted, even if it wasn’t good for me.
There was just a handful of people outside—a few smokers and a bouncer. But Alex took me round the corner, away from their prying eyes. Then he stopped, and looked down at me, his eyes searching mine. My heart was beating so hard in my chest I was sure he could hear it. I knew that if I was going to object this was the moment. That’s what he was waiting for. But instead, I returned his gaze, strong and steady.
He needed no further encouragement. With that, he grabbed me by the shoulders, backed me up against the wall and kissed me.
I felt the urgency of his mouth on mine, the hard weight of his body pushing against me. His hands moved from my shoulders to my face, pulling me closer as his kiss deepened.
The music and noise from inside felt so far away as Alex’s lips dropped to my neck and he ran the tip of his tongue along my collarbone.
I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a moan, deep in the back of my throat.
The sudden sound of laughter and chatter startled me as a group of clubbers rounded the corner to where we were. Alex continued to kiss me, before breaking away with a groan. He drew his head back so he was staring down at me, and I could see the pure, unguarded lust in his eyes.
I could hear the others giggling as they realised exactly what they’d interrupted.
“Get a room!” one of them called.
Neither of us even bothered to glance in their direction. It was as though they weren’t there. I could see Alex struggling to get himself under control. He took two deep breaths, his chest rising and falling, before he finally spoke.
“Do you want to get out of here?” His voice was thick and gravelly.
I nodded. I didn’t even have to think about it.
“Wait here. I’ll grab our jackets and tell Hugh and Jas we’re heading off.”
His hand swept over my cheek before he went back inside.
I rested my head against the cold brick wall and closed my eyes. I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that for once I wanted to do something irresponsible, just for myself.
It was then that I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it from my jeans pocket, flipped it open, and saw that I had ten missed calls. It took me a second to recognise the number—it was Denise, my sister’s foster mother—and I felt a cold sense of foreboding.
I listened to the message with a sense of dawning horror.
“I’m calling to let you know that your sister had to be rushed to hospital earlier this evening. April . . . er . . . fell down the stairs . . . She’s broken her arm. But please don’t be alarmed. She’s back home now, and everything’s all right.”
I felt sick as I listened to a message from April, too—she was in tears and begging me to come to see her.
I felt like I was going to be sick. I’d cancelled on April tonight, and she’d ended up hurt. If I’d kept our appointment, this would never have happened. She would have been with me instead. And then, to make matters worse, when she’d called me I hadn’t been there for her. My sister had been frightened and in pain, and here I was, drinking and making out with some charming womaniser who would be no good for me.
It dawned on me then who I’d behaved like tonight—my mother. Bile rose in my throat at the realisation.
I looked at my watch, and realised I was shaking. It was after midnight, but I wanted to see April.
I hurried away from the alleyway, reaching the door just as Alex was on his way back out. He had our jackets under his arm.
He stopped when he saw me. It was like he could tell from the look on my face that something had changed. His brow furrowed.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s my sister. She’s been hurt—” I shook my head. I couldn’t deal with explanations. “I need to see her. Right now.” I pushed past Alex.
“Wait a minute. I’ll come with you,” he called after me.
That drew me to a halt. I rounded on him. “No!” I was suddenly completely sober. “I don’t want you anywhere near me. You’ve already done enough for one night.”
His eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I should never have listened to you and come here tonight.” Deep down, I knew I was being unreasonable, blaming it all on Alex, but I was feeling angry and scared and guilty, and I needed to take it out on someone. “I should have gone to see April like I’d planned. Maybe then this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Seriously?” He shook his head in disbelief. “You’re blaming me for this?”
“No,” I said, my voice surprisingly even. “I’m blaming myself. I knew from the beginning that it was a bad idea. I’ve spent the last six years living with someone irresponsible. And the last thing I need is to get involved with anyone else like that. You’re selfish and reckless, and that’s great for you. But I can’t be that way. So please—I’m asking you to stay away from me. Because I have enough problems in my life without you in it, too.”
With that, I turned and ran towards the nearest taxi, trying not to think of the look of fury on Alex’s face.
Chapter 15
I couldn’t get hold of anyone on the phone, so I decided to go straight round to the foster home. By the time I got there, the house was in darkness. I rang the doorbell once, and when there wasn’t a response I kept ringing until finally a light went on in what I presumed was an upstairs bedroom.
I waited impatiently for the sound of footsteps on the stairs. When Denise opened the door she didn’t look happy to see me, and when I asked to see my sister she told me in no uncertain terms that it wasn’t possible, because April was asleep—along with the rest of the household.
“Best if you come back in the morning,” Denise said. She had on a huge pink dressing gown, and it was clear I’d got her out of bed. But I didn’t care. “I’m not disturbing her now,” she added.
She stepped outside and pulled the door shut, making it clear I wasn’t getting in.
“You can’t stop me seeing her. I’m her sister, and she needs me. She sounded so upset earlier, and I want to make sure she’s all right—”
Denise folded her arms across her ample chest. “I’ve told you, it’s not a good idea. She’s asleep, and anyway I think it would just upset her more to see you like that.”
She gave me a very pointed once-over, and I felt my cheeks redden. I knew exactly what she was referring to. I could tell she smelt the alcohol on my breath and wasn’t impressed. I wanted to explain that this wasn’t me—it was a stupid one-off. But no doubt she wouldn’t believe me. Like mother, like daughter.
I banged my hand against the doorframe, and swore under my breath. “How could you let this happen to her?”
Denise stared impassively at me, unmoved by my display of temper. “I can’t have eyes everywhere. I do my best, and can’t do no more.”
I knew she was right. I was only taking my anger at myself out on her. She was around forty-five, and had been fostering for ten years after finding she couldn’t have her own kids. She had that no-nonsense, I’ve-seen-it-all-before way about her. I knew she ran a good house, but even she couldn’t be everywhere at once.
“I’m sorry—” I began, but she waved my apology away.
“G
o home now,” she said more kindly. “I’ll have her ready early tomorrow morning and you can see her before school.”
It was hard to argue with her logic. I didn’t want to go back to Alex’s apartment. Even though it might sound silly, I wanted to stay physically close to my sister. So I headed to an all-night kebab shop on the Jamaica Road, to wait for the morning to come round.
At seven, I went back to the house to catch up with April before school, like Denise had suggested. I was shocked when I saw her. She had a cast on her wrist, and a long scratch across her cheek—from a fingernail, I guessed—and looked even paler than usual in her burgundy uniform.
We went to a coffee shop that was on her route to school, and I made her tell me the whole story. It turned out she’d been lying to me, and Racquel had continued to bully her. It had come to a head when the other girl had heard April calling me. She’d tried to snatch the phone from my sister’s hands, and in the struggle April had ended up falling down the stairs.
The good thing to have come out of it was that one of the other kids had witnessed the altercation, and reported it to Denise. It wasn’t the first time Racquel had been caught acting violently, and it turned out she’d been on her last warning. So as of that morning, Racquel had been removed and taken to a care home.
But even though I probably should have been relieved, it upset me to know that April had hidden something so major from me.
“You should have told me what was going on! I would have done something about it. Why did you say everything was fine?”
“Because I didn’t want you to worry. You spend so much time looking after me and Mum. I didn’t think you needed any more on your plate.”
I felt my eyes water. None of this was fair. She shouldn’t be dealing with this stuff at her age.
“Don’t ever think that. I want to know what’s going on with you. All right?”
She stared forlornly into her hot chocolate, before shrugging her shoulders. “I suppose.” After a moment, she looked up at me. “Where were you last night, anyway? How come you couldn’t meet me?” It was the question I’d been dreading. She didn’t look annoyed or accusatory—just curious.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth.
“I just had some things to do.” I took a sip of coffee, and looked away. I knew I was being evasive, but how could I tell her I’d been out drinking and flirting with some guy I hardly knew?
April had to go to school then. I walked her to the gate and gave her a big hug, and promised that I would see her at the weekend. But she didn’t seem as excited as usual about the prospect of meeting up. It was only after she left that I noticed for the first time she hadn’t asked me when we’d be back together as a family. My sister had obviously given up on me, and I couldn’t blame her.
* * *
I headed back to Alex’s apartment, aware that I owed him an apology for what I’d said the night before. I’d been feeling guilty and I’d taken it out on him, and in the cold light of day, I could see I’d been unfair.
The place was silent when I got in, but his jacket and shoes lay on the hallway floor, so I knew he was back, and probably still asleep. I went into the kitchen to make myself some tea. As I waited for the kettle to boil, I sat up at the central island, running my hand over the granite worktop. But as I did so, I heard Alex clearing his throat behind me.
I started at the sound, and whirled round, preparing my apology. But the words froze on my lips as I saw he was wearing nothing but a pair of jeans that hung low on his hips. He was naked from the waist up, and his ripped chest would have put a Calvin Klein model to shame.
He leaned one muscular shoulder against the doorframe, and regarded me with hooded eyes.
“So you’re back.”
All I could do was nod. I didn’t know where my head was at. Having assumed he was asleep, and that I’d have some time to prepare my apology, I was thrown by seeing him like this.
“And your sister? Is she all right?” His voice was cool, giving no clue to what he was thinking. The expression on his face also gave nothing away.
“Yes,” I said, finally finding my voice. “She’s fine now, thanks.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” His expression hardened. “After all, I’d hate to think my reckless behaviour had caused her any undue harm.”
I studied the floor. I’d hoped he might make this easy on me, but it seemed he was holding a grudge about last night. In some ways, I didn’t blame him. It looked like I was going to need to do some serious grovelling.
“Look, Alex.” I took a breath, trying to compose myself. “About what I said last night—”
Before I could finish my sentence, I heard light, rapid footsteps on the stairs from the mezzanine.
“Alex?” a posh female voice cooed. “What on earth are you playing at? I was getting lonely up there—”
An expensive-looking blonde appeared. She was wearing a man’s white shirt, unbuttoned, over a pair of black panties, and nothing else. Her long, tanned legs seemed to stretch forever, down to perfectly manicured toes. I suddenly realised why Alex was barefoot and shirtless. I must have interrupted them in his bedroom, and he’d only had time to pull on his jeans. I felt my cheeks redden at the knowledge of what they’d been doing.
When the blonde saw me, the smile died on her lips.
“Who’s this?” Her sharp eyes were on me, but the question was clearly directed at Alex. It was annoying, the way she looked at me like I was some kind of insect she’d found in her salad.
“It’s my charity case,” Alex drawled. “You know me—always doing my bit to help life’s unfortunates.”
So I’d been right—Alex was holding a grudge.
The blonde’s eyes narrowed; she was clearly confused. “And will she be joining us?”
Alex gave a faint sigh of exasperation. “Of course not, Lavinia. I’m just trying to finish my conversation with the young lady, and then I’ll be all yours.”
Lavinia didn’t look happy, but she must have realised there wasn’t much she could do, because she gave a little shrug. “Fine. Do whatever you need to. But don’t be too long.”
She gave me one last, contemptuous look, and disappeared upstairs.
“She seems charming,” I said without thinking.
“You’re right. Charm isn’t one of Lavinia’s strong points.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively. “But trust me, she has others.”
The blatant innuendo, coming from someone I’d been making out with the night before, floored me. I knew that if we hadn’t been interrupted I would have ended up in bed with him. Had it meant so little to him that he’d moved on to someone else already?
But before I had time to dwell on the thought, Alex walked over to the fridge and pulled out what looked like an expensive bottle of champagne.
“Bit early for it, isn’t it?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
He turned, his eyes narrowing as he studied me. “If I didn’t know better, darling, I’d think you were jealous.”
“Jealous?” I sputtered, hardly able to get the word out and my thoughts together.
But he didn’t seem interested in my outraged denial. Instead, he took out two champagne flutes from the cupboard, used some gadget to chill them, and then strolled towards the stairs.
I stood up, not sure what to do with myself. On the bottom step, he paused and looked back at me, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“You know, Nina, you had your chance with me last night. But I’m always willing to give you another go—although next time, you might have to beg.”
I was so incensed that I couldn’t even speak. Then he was gone, his mocking laughter floating up the stairs behind him.
Chapter 16
I managed to avoid Alex the rest of the day by steering clear of the apartment. But I went into work that night with a feeling of nervous dread hanging over me. If he decided to turn up at Destination, then I’d be forced to spe
nd the evening watching girls like Tori and Lavinia fawn all over him, and I wasn’t sure how much of that I could stomach.
However, I needn’t have worried. There’d been a leak in the ladies’ toilets, and it looked like the place wouldn’t be opening. We were told to hang around for a bit to see if the problem could be fixed, but after an hour, Mel announced that nothing would be resolved that evening, so we could all go home.
I was on my way out, when Giles caught up with me. His shirt was crumpled and his dark-blond hair mussed up, and I guessed he’d had a difficult night.
“Nina? Do you have a second?” Immediately I wondered what I’d done. He must have seen the anxiety on my face, because he flashed his usual charming smile, his cheeks dimpling a little. “It’s nothing to worry about. I promise.”
“Sure.” I said goodnight to Jas, and followed him through to his office. Giles gestured for me to sit on the small couch, while he perched on his desk. Despite what he’d said, I couldn’t help feeling nervous.
“Sorry to frighten you back there. I just wanted to catch up. Find out how everything’s going with you.”
He lowered his voice meaningfully, and I smiled, touched by his concern. “You mean with the illegal gambling?”
“Well, yes. There’s that,” he said slowly. “But I also heard a rumour that you’d moved in with my brother.”
I was aware then of just how keenly he was watching me. I felt my cheeks flush, giving him the answer he wanted.
“So it’s true,” he said. He looked strangely disappointed. “Is there something going on between you two?”
“No!” The memory of what occurred at the Tumbleweed concert flashed through my mind, but I pushed it away. There would be no repeat of that, not after everything else that had happened. “I just had some trouble, and he offered me a place to stay for a couple of weeks. That’s all.”
Giles studied me for a long moment, as though weighing up whether I was telling the truth. Finally, he gave a brisk nod. “I’m glad to hear it.” He gave a wry smile. “Alex can be very charming when he wants to be, so forgive me if I jumped to the wrong conclusion. And I didn’t mean to pry. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”
