by Tara Bond
“But for someone who never had a girlfriend before, that’s kind of a long time to be monogamous.”
Jas didn’t bother to answer. The silence stretched out. “So,” she said finally. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to come.”
I forced a laugh. I hated that she’d obviously been so worried about having this conversation with me. It wasn’t fair to ruin any part of Jas’s wedding with my drama. “Don’t be silly! Of course I’m still coming. We’ve got to see each other at some point. It might as well be then.”
Jas looked so relieved I thought she might cry. “Oh, Nina, that’s great news. You can’t miss out because of him. You come along, put on something sexy and show him what he’s missing out on!”
I shook my head. That was the last thing I’d be doing. It would take me all my time to get through the evening. But it would be worth the pain of seeing Alex if my being there made Jas happy.
* * *
When the night of the joint stag and hen night came round, and I was getting ready, I thought about Jas’s advice to look my best and make Alex see what he was missing out on. It wasn’t really my style. Instead, I dressed like I normally did, in dark jeans and a tank top, and my biker boots. It was my signature tough-girl look.
April got excited when she heard I was going out to a nightclub in a swanky part of London, and she insisted on doing my hair and make-up. The result was my dark hair hung tousled around my face, and she emphasised my eyes with mascara and eyeliner, and my lips with my favourite black-cherry lipstick. At least it made me look like I’d made some effort.
I walked into Destination and felt immediately out of place. The other girls were all in short, sheathlike dresses and strappy heels. It made me realise that I had never fitted into that world.
I was contemplating turning round and heading back out, but before I could, Jas spotted me. She squealed my name, and ran over and hugged me to her.
“I’m so glad you came.” She pulled away and glanced round the room. “I haven’t seen him yet.” She didn’t need to elaborate on who she was talking about.
That should have made me feel relieved, but for some reason I felt disappointed.
If Jas noticed my reaction, she didn’t show it. Instead, she grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the bar. “Come on. Let’s get you a drink.”
I wanted a beer, but Jas wouldn’t hear of it. I watched in horror as the bartender poured pink liquid from a cocktail shaker into a martini glass, and handed it to me.
Hugh came up to us as we stood at the bar.
“Thanks for being here, Nina.” He kissed my cheek. “And sorry to interrupt, but I need to grab my fiancée for a moment.”
“No problem,” I said, and watched as he led Jas away.
I took a sip of my drink and pulled a face. It was far too sweet for me. I really would have preferred a beer, but the bartender had already moved off, and there was too big a crowd to bother waiting to be served.
I moved off and found a corner to lurk in. There was no one around I particularly felt like talking to. The guests were mostly Hugh’s friends so far. A group of people who Jas and I had worked with were meant to be turning up later—they had the night off—but until then it was just me and the posh crowd.
I’d been standing there for a few minutes, sipping at my drink, when Alex walked in. For a moment, it felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was more of a shock than I’d expected, seeing him after all this time. He looked good—much better than that last time I’d seen him in the churchyard. His dark hair was a little shorter, exposing more of his strong bone structure, and he’d dressed up for the occasion, in a black suit and shirt.
My attention quickly moved from him to the girl on his arm—Helen, the lawyer. She was an attractive woman—model-tall and slim, with poker-straight brown hair hanging to her shoulders. In a tailored black dress and heels, she looked confident and classy. Not like any of the girls I’d seen him with before.
My gaze moved back to Alex. I knew I should stop staring, but I couldn’t help it. He must have felt my eyes on him, because he turned. A look of shock crossed his face when he saw me—then a second later he had it under control. I watched him turn to his date, and murmur something. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and walked to the bar.
Then Alex turned in my direction.
I took a big glug of my cocktail as he made his way over, but it did nothing to calm my nerves. I could have probably drunk the bar dry and I’d still be freaking out.
And then he was there, all six foot two of him, a couple of feet away from me. I suspected he wasn’t sure what kind of reception he’d get.
“Nina?” His eyes were soft, his voice respectful. “It’s good to see you.”
There was a formality to his words, and I could guess why. Like me, he probably had no desire for us to meet and be reminded of our painful past. But also like me, he probably felt obliged to be there for the sake of his friend. The only reason he’d come over, I thought, was because he wanted to make sure there wasn’t going to be a big blow-up to spoil the wedding.
I wanted to show him that I had no intention of creating a scene, so I gave a small nod. “It’s good to see you, too.” My tone matched his own. “You look well.”
“You too.”
We lapsed into silence then. Feeling impossibly uncomfortable, I took a long sip of my cocktail.
Alex looked at my glass and raised an eyebrow.
“What the hell are you drinking?”
I rolled my eyes. “Some concoction Jas came up with.” I nodded at a beer bottle on a nearby table. “Trust me—I would rather be drinking that.”
We both smiled briefly. Then catching ourselves, we looked away.
“I could get you another drink if you like,” Alex said.
“Thanks, but I’m fine.” I tried to think of something to say—so we could have the kind of conversation acquaintances would. “I heard you’re opening a hotel.”
He nodded solemnly. “Just a boutique. It’s been harder than I thought, getting it all sorted out, but I’m enjoying it.”
Thankfully, before I had to come up with any other conversation pieces, his date appeared, carrying two flutes of champagne. Alex made the introductions. Fortunately Helen didn’t seem aware of any awkwardness, and we spent five minutes talking about the upcoming wedding, before I finally made my excuses about needing to go and circulate.
Helen smiled at me. As Jas had said, she did seem lovely. “Well, it was great to meet you, Nina.” She leaned down and kissed me on both cheeks, then turned to Alex, clearly expecting him to do the same. He hesitated for just a moment and then took a step towards me. I saw his frown and the question in his eyes—he wanted to make sure it was all right with me. I gave an imperceptible nod.
I didn’t dare breathe as his hands rested lightly on my shoulders, and I closed my eyes as his lips brushed my cheeks. Then a second later it was over, and he was drawing away. I looked up to see his arm encircling Helen’s waist.
As they walked away, I finally exhaled.
Luckily that was the time my friends who were staff at Destination chose to arrive. I went over to join them, and studiously avoided looking at Alex for the rest of the evening.
I stayed for a polite two hours before saying my goodnights. I was on my way out, heading for the floating glass staircase, when Tori stepped in front of me. She looked stunning as always, in a beautiful sequinned dress and sky-high heels.
“Look, I’m really not in the mood,” I said, pushing past her.
“Wait. Please.” She had to shout to be heard over the music. “This’ll just take a minute.”
Something in her voice made me stop and turn round. “What is it?” I said in a tone that suggested she ought to make it quick.
She hesitated for a second, and then said, “I wanted to say that I was really sorry to hear about you and Alex.”
It was pretty much the last thing I’d been expecting to come out of her mouth, but I
managed to cover my surprise. “Really? Well, thanks for the condolences. It means a lot.”
She winced at the sarcasm in my voice, but powered on anyway. “Can I ask you—why did you break up?”
“I really don’t want to talk about it.”
This was clearly a waste of my time, so I turned to go.
“Did it have something to do with a car crash?”
I whipped round. The last thing I needed was what I’d found out being passed around like gossip.
“What do you know about that?”
“Nothing! I swear!” She held up her hands in defence. “I just overheard Giles and Alex arguing . . .”
I chewed at the inside of my mouth. I didn’t want her to start pressing for details.
“Well, it’s got nothing to do with you. So don’t start interfering where you don’t belong.”
I left her open-mouthed at the harshness of my words, and I hurried towards the exit. Coming here tonight had clearly been a mistake, and one I wasn’t about to repeat. Too many memories had been dredged up. I needed to keep as far away from these people as possible.
Chapter 29
Standing in the bedroom of one of Claridge’s finest suites, I finished lacing up the bodice of Jas’s wedding dress, and stood back to assess my handiwork. The ribbons criss-crossed in perfect symmetry, down to the bow I’d tied at the end. I’d done a good job—which was hardly surprising, given that I’d been forced to practise for hours in the wedding-dress shop until I could get it exactly how Jas wanted. She was determined that everything should be perfect on her wedding day.
Now she twisted impatiently, trying to look over her shoulder to see the result.
“How does it look?” My usually laid-back friend sounded worried.
“See for yourself.” I lifted the full-length, free-standing mirror that the Claridge’s wedding planner had helpfully suggested having sent up. Placed directly behind Jas, who was looking into the mirrored wall, it enabled my friend to see what she looked like from all angles.
“Oh!” She clapped her hands to her cheeks as she surveyed the back of the bodice. “You’ve done a brilliant job!” She turned to me. “Well, I guess that’s it then. I’m ready to get married!”
With that, her eyes started to water.
“No, no. Don’t cry,” I hushed, pushing the mirror to one side and reaching for a tissue. “You don’t want to ruin your make-up.”
I’d never really seen myself as chief-bridesmaid material—especially not for a big society wedding—but I seemed to be doing a better job than I’d imagined.
“There.” I rested my hands on Jas’s bare arms. “No more crying until the church now. We’ve spent hours getting you to look this good, and I want everyone to see you like this.”
I wasn’t lying about how good she looked. Jas really was the perfect fairy-tale bride. She’d said from the beginning that she wanted a traditional wedding, and that’s exactly what she’d got. She’d opted for a Cinderella-style dress, made out of the finest ivory silk, and the huge skirt and cinched-in waist gave her the perfect figure. Her beautiful black hair had been styled into big curls, and threaded through with tiny white flowers. Her make-up was subtle and fresh, and everything about her seemed youthful and sparkly—like she was a young woman embarking on a big adventure.
My outfit wasn’t too shabby, either. In her desire to keep everything classic, Jas had stuck to a simple colour scheme of whites, creams and a touch of gold. The bridesmaids’ dresses were a flattering empire waist, in a pale champagne—pretty enough, while in no danger of outshining the bride’s. The soft shade also perfectly complemented my olive skin. My short, dark hair had been blow-dried silky straight, and garlanded with cream roses.
It was set to be the wedding of the year, with over two hundred guests in attendance. If there had been any concern that the occasion might cause a scandal—Hugh Forbes marrying a former stripper—it certainly hadn’t been reflected in the planning. This wedding would be on everyone’s radar.
We went through to the lounge area of the suite, where the rest of the bridal party were waiting for us.
Jas—being the forgiving soul that she was—had contacted her mother after the engagement. With her mum’s boyfriend a thing of the past, they’d reconnected, and now three of her cousins were the other bridesmaids, and her uncle—her mother’s older brother—was giving her away. While I wasn’t personally convinced that these people were ever going to be there for Jas, she seemed happy that they were there to celebrate with her, so I kept my counsel.
Everyone raved about how beautiful Jas looked, then it was time to leave. A fleet of Rolls-Royce Phantoms had been hired to transport the wedding party. The ceremony was set to take place at St. James’s Church in Paddington, a short drive away. That had been another surprise to me—that Jas had opted for a church rather than a civil ceremony. But as we pulled up outside St. James’s, I could see why she’d wanted to be married there. It was exactly as you’d imagine a church to be—with its soaring spire, gnarled wooden door and elegant grey stonework.
When we went in, I was entranced by the beautiful interior—the wooden pews, and the huge stained-glass window above the altar, impossible to miss.
Jas had opted to make her entrance in the traditional way—the bride first on the arm of the person giving her away, followed by her bridesmaids. My heart started beating faster as I walked down the aisle behind her and her uncle. Familiar faces popped out at me from the congregation, and I spotted Tori and then Giles sitting on the groom’s side. But it wasn’t them I was nervous about seeing again—it was Alex.
Since the joint stag and hen party, I’d run into him a couple of times at meetings about arrangements for the wedding and at the wedding rehearsal dinner. Again we’d been scrupulously polite to each other, though I couldn’t deny that seeing him had affected me.
I knew that as best man he’d be standing next to the groom, so I kept my eyes on Jas’s cascade of hair, carefully avoiding looking at him in case it made me falter in my step. It was only once we were at the front of the church, and I’d taken Jas’s bouquet of white avalanche roses from her, and the vicar had begun his opening remarks welcoming the congregation, that I dared to look at Alex.
He was wearing a traditional morning suit, with a cravat and handkerchief to match the champagne colour of our bridesmaids’ dresses. He seemed surprisingly at ease in the formal dress, his broad shoulders carrying off the tailored look. His dark hair was slicked back for the day, and his face was clean-shaven.
He must have felt me staring, because his gaze moved from the vicar to me. Our eyes met for the briefest of moments, and then I looked away. It took all my willpower to keep my focus on the bride and groom for the remainder of the ceremony.
* * *
Jas had opted to hold the reception in Claridge’s elegant art deco ballroom, with its marble floors and mirrored walls. I needn’t have worried about having to speak to Alex during drinks and dinner—we were both too busy in our respective duties, and always surrounded by other people, so we didn’t have a chance to be alone.
Coffee and petit fours were served in the reception area while the dinner tables were being cleared, and then we returned to the ballroom, which had been transformed. The tables had been moved back to make room for a mirrored dance floor. A four-piece orchestra was on a raised dais where the top table had been. As the lights dimmed, all the guests gathered into a circle, and Jas and Hugh took to the floor.
Jas had told me that she was going with a traditional waltz for the first dance. As “Moon River” started, Hugh took her in his arms and swept her around the dance floor, with an expertise that surprised me—and, from the joyous look of surprise on Jas’s face, her too.
I joined in the round of applause like everyone else. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see the photographer’s assistant, a young, birdlike brunette, who was super-organised. When I saw Alex standing beside her, I began to get a bad feeling, which w
asn’t made any better by the apologetic look on his face.
“We need a picture of you two dancing,” she said bluntly.
“Oh, no—” I began, but she held up her hand to cut me off.
“Look.” She nodded towards Alex. “Lover-boy here has already tried to make excuses. Now, I get that you two have some issue with each other. Bad break-up, right?” She laughed at the astonished looks on our faces. “Part of being good at this job is being able to read people. All I would say to you both is, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m not going to force you to dance together. But try to remember this day isn’t about you. This is for your friends.”
She gave us a moment for her words to sink in, before saying, “So . . . what’s it going to be?”
Alex and I looked at each other. After that little lecture, there was no way either of us could object without feeling childish. Alex held out his arm to me. I hesitated for just a second before taking it. A jolt of electricity passed through me as we touched, and I let out an involuntary gasp. But if Alex noticed my reaction, he chose not to show it.
“Don’t worry,” he said, as he led me onto the dance floor. “Just a couple of minutes and this will all be over.”
Before I could answer, he whirled me round to face him. Then he assumed the classic ballroom dancer’s positioning, his left hand enclosing mine, while his right rested just below my shoulder blade, forming a firm frame. Without a word, he began to lead me expertly round the floor, perfectly in time to the music. I’d never waltzed before, but somehow I was moving effortlessly, as though I’d been doing this all my life—the sign of a strong male lead.
I’d planned not to speak during the dance—it had seemed wisest not to. But it was hard not to comment on his skill.
“You know how to waltz?”
A smile touched his lips, probably at the surprise in my voice. “That’s down to Hugh. He insisted on all the groomsmen taking lessons.”
