The Meltdown

by L. Divine

  “Girl, come here and give us a hug,” says the tallest of the two women. They’re both about the same height, towering over their little sister.

  “Oh, shug. You didn’t tell me she was such a pretty little thing,” the other sister says, squeezing my cheeks like I’m five years old.

  I don’t know what Mama’s problem is, but mine is manifesting itself through my sore face.

  “Oh, now, Rita. That’s enough,” Netta says, freeing me from the double embrace. Now I know how Nigel feels when he gets tackled. “And, Jayd, this here is the eldest, Celia.”

  “It’s nice to meet you both,” I say, rubbing the pain out of my jaw.

  “And such a lady, too,” Rita says, still impressed with me. “My sister told me you’re going to be in a cotillion soon.” Damn, Netta’s been running her mouth. That’s not exactly my claim to fame. “You should come to Nawlins sometime. We have the best and most traditional coming-out parties for our young ladies.”

  “You know there are some places in New Orleans where people should never visit unless they’re wearing proper spiritual protection,” Mama says, scaring both our visitors and the clients alike. Mama has that effect on people when she wants to.

  “Lynn Mae. We didn’t know you were here,” Celia says, eyeing her sisters nervously. The three of them look uncomfortable as Mama steps fully into the front of the intimate shop.

  “That’s true of some places, but there’s something very special about the ancestral energy in Nawlins,” Netta says, showing pride in her hometown in an attempt to break the ice, but it’s too thick.

  “True indeed. I’m glad y’all made it safely,” Mama says, glaring at Netta before returning to the back porch. The buzzers on the hair driers ring loudly in the tense air.

  “Thank God,” Rita says, holding her chest like she’s recovering from a heart attack. I don’t know if she’s referring to Netta silencing the alarm or Mama leaving, but she’s obviously relieved.

  “Netta, I don’t see how you can stand it,” Celia begins, but one harsh look from Netta tells her to be quiet.

  That was definitely about Mama.

  “Why don’t we help out, Netta? After all, that’s why we’re here,” Rita says, putting her car keys in her purse and looping her arm through Celia’s.

  Netta nods in agreement, and both sisters go into the back to wash up before joining the work flow.

  “We can finish the cleansing at home,” Mama says, walking across the floor with two bags in each hand, including her purse. Why is she in such a hurry all of a sudden?

  “Lynn Mae, we still have clients in the shop and orders to fill,” Netta says, but there’s no use in her pleading. Mama’s ready to roll.

  Celia and Rita walk back into the room, scared to walk past Mama, who’s in their path. Mama rolls her eyes at the women and walks out of the shop without another word. Damn, it’s like that?

  “We’re leaving, y’all,” Netta says to her sisters, who look more than content to man the shop alone. They’ve already put a Bible in the corner by the door across from Legba’s shrine, giving me a clue as to why the energy’s so putrid between Mama and Netta’s sisters.

  “We love you, honey, and will be home as soon as we finish up here. I can’t wait to see that nephew of mine,” Celia says, clapping the curlers like her sister.

  “Who dat, shug?” Rita says, smacking her gum loudly much like Netta does when she’s excited.

  “Who dat?” Netta says to her sister, laughing as the traditional New Orleans greeting rings in the air.

  When the Saints finally won a Super Bowl, I thought Mama and Netta would pass out from pride, and normally they couldn’t care less about football. Netta introduces her sisters to the three clients who only need their rollers removed and their hair combed out—a simple task that would have been mine, including the resulting tips. They’ve really been messing with a sistah’s bottom line lately.

  “Thank you, loves, and I’ll see you back at the house,” Netta says, grabbing her purse from the coat rack and directing me to get my things and come on. She blows a kiss to her sisters before heading out.

  “It was nice meeting you both,” I say, removing my apron and placing it back in my locker. I look inside my purse and see two missed calls from Jeremy on my cell. I’ll call him back in the car. Once I get to Mama’s, I know I won’t have a chance to talk.

  “You, too, Jayd. We’ll have a chance to talk next time,” Celia says to my back.

  “What took y’all so long?” Mama asks from the passenger seat of Netta’s truck. Netta and I look at each other and shake our heads. Mama’s a trip when she’s in a good mood, which this is anything but.

  “Look at that girl,” Netta says, opening the car door. Eva waves at us on her way to the gas station with her boyfriend, and we return the gesture in awe. “Eva doesn’t even know her true worth. If she did, she wouldn’t give that little fool the time of day.” Eva and Jesse—Compton’s own Whitney and Bobby—have been together for about a year, only after Jesse wore Eva completely down. He must’ve caught her on an off day, because if she was in her right mind, there’s no way in hell a scrub like him could’ve pulled a diva like herself.

  “We lose a lot of our young queens to less than worthy people,” Mama says, looking back toward the shop. I know she’s not worried about Netta’s sisters having a bad influence on me, is she? “We’ll see you at home, Jayd.”

  I get in my mom’s car and start the engine. I have only a minute to chat, but it’s better than nothing.

  “Hey, baby,” I say into the speakerphone on my lap. “What’s up?”

  “Shit. How’s work?” Jeremy asks, sounding distracted. Something in his voice is off. I shift into second gear, expertly balancing the cell phone between my thighs. I would get a Bluetooth, but I’m afraid of wearing the small gadget in my ear. Something about the blue light scares me.

  “It’s going okay, but you don’t sound so good,” I say, relieved that Netta and I are separated by the red light. Jeremy sighs and says nothing for a moment. I’m only a block away from Gunlock, so I’d better make this quick.

  “Tania had the baby,” Jeremy says, sounding more sullen than ever. “It’s a boy.”

  “How are they?” I ask, parking in front of Mama’s house where Netta and my grandmother have already arrived. Some of the neighbors are out mowing their lawns, and others are smoking on their porches enjoying a typical Saturday afternoon in our hood.

  “I guess they’re okay. My brother told me about it,” Jeremy says. “Tania couldn’t even bother to call me. I could’ve been there.”

  “I didn’t know you wanted to be there, especially since her family’s surely present.” I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near the people who tried to hide my child from me. If Tania’s parents had it their way, Jeremy wouldn’t be an issue at all. But Tania’s still feeling my man no matter how married she is. I watch Mama and Netta disappear behind the gate. If I’m not right behind them, I’m afraid I’ll become the unintentional target of Mama’s wrath.

  “I didn’t think I wanted to, either—until it happened and I wasn’t there. I don’t know how to feel about it.”

  All I can think about is how Chance is dealing with finding out about his birth parents and that his adopted mom kept the secret from him. What if Jeremy’s son grows up with the same resentment? I don’t wish Chance’s identity crisis on anyone, especially not on Jeremy’s son.

  “If you want me to come with you this evening after I get off, I can,” I offer. I don’t want to see Tania and her rich-bitch crew, but I’ll endure the fire for my man. “Which hospital are they in?”

  “I don’t even know.” Jeremy sounds like he wants to cry he’s so hurt. “How am I supposed to enjoy my vacation when I have a son in the world I don’t even know? And how can I look my dad in the eye when it’s because of his stupid hatred I can’t be a father to my own child?” This is a new side of Jeremy. Maybe being around me and all of my baby-bearing friends is
rubbing off on him.

  “We’ll still have a great summer,” I say, turning off the ignition. Jeremy pauses and I know there’s something more he’s not saying. “Jeremy, are you there?”

  “Yeah, Jayd. I also found out this morning that our family trip to Europe is back on,” he says, dropping his second bomb for the afternoon. “My dad didn’t think he’d be able to leave work, but I guess he’s going to take it with him.”

  “Europe? What the hell for?” I ask, attempting to catch my breath, but my head’s heating up the longer I stay on the phone.

  “We go somewhere every summer, Jayd. Doesn’t your family travel during the break?” Jeremy asks.

  Is he serious? Hasn’t this boy known me long enough to understand my hustle? I don’t work because I love juggling two jobs. I work because I need the money, but I doubt he truly knows what being broke is like.

  “Not really. Every other year we might go to Texas for a family reunion, but I haven’t been since I was ten.” And I don’t plan on going again anytime soon. It was hotter than hell in Texas that July. As a matter of fact, I would probably have been better off in hell the way I was burning up.

  “Candace’s family goes to the same resorts and so does half the block. It’s a Palos Verdes tradition. Otherwise, I’d rather be here with my favorite girl any day.”

  I know he’s trying to be sweet, but it sounds like the same shit Rah used to say when we were dating before he’d go sneaking off with Sandy.

  “Jeremy, this is all so sudden. I thought we’d have the entire summer to chill together,” I whine. “And isn’t it convenient that Cameron will be there in my absence?” I’m pissed. I know she’s feeling my man, and Jeremy’s stupid if he doesn’t feel it, too. Jeremy’s a nice-looking guy and he’s loaded, so I expect to deal with females sniffing around him on the regular. But I can’t do anything about it if he’s on another continent.

  “Jayd, what else can I say but I love you. I want to be with you and only you. No matter what goes down with Tania and the baby or who’s going to be at the resort, you have to know that I love you.”

  Lexi pokes her head through the open gate, letting me know Mama’s summoning me. I’d better get going.

  “I know that.” I close the car door and arm the alarm. It may be daylight, but thieves have a way of copping shit no matter what time it is.

  “Do you? Because I think you’re still insecure about us, and that’s got to stop. I’m not Rah, and you can’t treat me like I am. You have to learn to trust me, baby.”

  “You’re right,” I say, smiling at Jeremy’s logic. His cool head is what keeps me sane on the craziest days. “I need to put my big-girl panties on and deal with reality.”

  “What does the size of your panties have to do with anything?” Jeremy is so clueless sometimes it’s unbelievable.

  “Never mind, baby,” I say, giggling at my boyfriend. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way home.”

  “I look forward to it, Lady J.”

  At least we’re ending the conversation on a good note. I don’t know if he had a smile on his face, but he definitely sounded better than he did when he first answered the phone.

  I walk up the driveway and through the back gate with Lexi by my side. Reaching down to greet my four-legged friend, I notice her eyes are a brighter hazel than usual.

  “Jayd, you’ve got to get on it, little girl,” Lexi says, talking to me telepathically.

  I think I’m going crazy now, for real. I notice that Lexi’s eyes are now a shade of light green. How come even she has the jade eyes present through my bloodline and I’m the only one with brown ones? I know I’m tripping off the wrong thing, but it isn’t fair even if my eyes are playing tricks on me.

  “Your eyes are fine, Jayd,” Lexi says, walking to the threshold of the backhouse and claiming her customary stance across it. “You’ve just borrowed Esmeralda’s powers from the last time she invaded your thoughts. Now you know what her power feels like.” No matter the origin of our pet-psychic session, the shit’s still freaking me out. The dog’s not really doing anything unusual; the only difference is that I can hear Lexi talking as if she’s an old woman and not the German shepherd she is.

  “Everything okay, Jayd?” Mama asks, breaking my communication with her dog.

  I hope that’s the end of the remnants of Esmeralda’s sight. She’s the last person I want to borrow from.

  “Yes, Mama. I’m fine,” I say, stepping into the spirit room. Netta’s already back to work on the head-cleansing ingredients as well as other spirit work to be completed this afternoon.

  “When we’re finished with your rogación, we’re going to make special elekes for traveling,” Mama says, taking out multiple colored beads from one of the dozens of clear jars lining the counters, each filled with different tools necessary for our line of work.

  Netta passes me a fresh lapa, and I cover myself before washing my hands in the kitchen sink. I instinctively take out the unwaxed dental floss to thread the beads for the traditional bracelets. We also have to consecrate them once they’re finished. With the three of us working on them it shouldn’t take too long. Out of all the tasks we do, this is one of my favorite activities.

  “There are about twenty orders like this that you’ll need to fill while we’re gone, Jayd,” Mama says.

  Damn, I don’t like doing it that much.

  “There are so many initiations this summer. When we return, we’ll have about ten to assist in before it’s all said and done,” Netta says with a smile on her face as if nothing just went down between her sisters and Mama.

  This isn’t the right time to bring it up, but I’m not letting that confrontation go. Celia and Rita definitely have something against Mama and vice versa.

  “We’re making these for Ogun and Legba, the main or-ishas we petition to for safe and prosperous travels.”

  Maybe I should make one for Jeremy since he’s leaving me, too. I’ll also add some beads for Oshune so she can keep my man sweet and faithful while he’s gone. I know Jeremy’s a good guy, but there’s nothing wrong with a little extra protection.

  “What time are y’all leaving Thursday morning? I can be late to school since it’s the last week.” No one’s really counting attendance next week even though I probably won’t take advantage of the unofficial end-of-the-year custom. The last thing I need is for my government teacher, Mrs. Peterson, to mark me tardy out of spite. She’d love to end my year on a miserable note.

  “With the sunrise, baby,” Mama says, ushering me away from the kitchen table and into the small open room where the shrines are housed. I kneel down on the bamboo mat while Mama lights the tall, white seven-day candles along the windowsills.

  “Yes, little Jayd. Anytime you travel, go with nature,” Netta says, joining us with a wooden mortar full of the fragrant elements for my crown. “You rise with the morning sun and rest when it sets.”

  “Don’t worry about seeing us off, baby. Just wake up at that time and pray for a safe and open road.”

  I’m glad Mama said it because I’m not feeling waking up that early. “I’m going to miss you both,” I say, becoming teary-eyed. The three people I depend on daily are leaving me at the same time. What am I going to do without them?

  “We’ll miss you, too, Jayd. But just because we aren’t here in the physical doesn’t mean you can’t call on us when you need our help.”

  Netta’s right. I don’t care where they go; I know they’ll always be within earshot of my prayers.

  “And that also doesn’t mean we’re not watching you, little girl, so be good and handle your business.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I say, laughing at Mama keeping it real.

  “And most importantly, be careful of your associations. Birds of a feather flock together, Jayd. Remember that.”

  She’s right about that. I witnessed firsthand how crows operate when Little Miss Texas arrived at cheer practice yesterday. Mama places her hands on my head, ready to restart
the ancient ceremony. Netta passes the mortar to her friend and retrieves a glass of water from the shrines to open with a prayer.

  “We’ll always be within reach, Jayd. Always.”

  I know Mama can never be that far away no matter where her travels take her. And for that I’m grateful. I hate saying good-bye, but like Jeremy said, I have to have faith that it’ll all be all right no matter how painful it may be.

  5

  K.I.T.

  You can’t make it feel right when you know

  that it’s wrong / I’m already gone.

  —KELLY CLARKSON

  It’s been a quiet day at South Bay High with the entire senior population missing in action for Senior Ditch Day. Ever since Mama and Netta cleansed my head Saturday, I’ve felt completely refreshed. It’s amazing what one simple ritual can accomplish. The remnants of Esmeralda’s sight seem to be gone as well as most of the heat in my head. It’s probably temporary, but I’m grateful for the break from the insanity that’s plagued me lately. Yesterday’s cheer performance at the final assembly went well, and I didn’t even snap at Ellen’s country-bumpkin ass nor did she try touching me again.

  I can’t believe we’ve finally made it to the last day of school. It’s been a long, tough year, but we made it through. Summer couldn’t have come sooner, even if it’s not going to be as much fun as I initially thought it would. Mama and Netta left yesterday morning right on schedule. They’ve already made it to Arizona and will call when they reach Louisiana. It’s bad enough that Jeremy’s leaving for the first half of the extended vacation, but with Mama and Netta also gone, it’s going to be an unbearable break. At least I’ll have my other commitments and work to keep me occupied.

  “Hola, Yeyekeke,” Emilio says, creeping up behind me in the nearly vacant main hall. No one’s called me little mama in Yoruban in a long time, nor did I give this punk permission to do so. Emilio’s like a fly: annoying and unnecessary, yet he refuses to go away.

  “It’s Jayd to you,” I say, shutting my empty locker. I’ve been systematically cleaning out the year’s worth of paper and other trash so I wouldn’t have to spend today doing it, unlike the rest of my friends who are all perpetual procrasti-nators when it comes to this kind of thing.