Smoke and Sin

by Shayla Black

  Bastard. Even his arrogance aroused her. It was a new thing. Not that he hadn’t been arrogant before, but he’d kept it to the classroom and the office. In bed, she’d suspected he felt less than secure because she’d had more experience. He’d been touchy about her showing him how she liked a caress or wanted his mouth on her at times. Oh, he’d learned, but in his time and in his way. Now all that seemed gone, replaced with a confidence that fit him like the custom-made suits he wore.

  “But until then…” An unholy grin flashed across his face before he parted her labia and covered her with his mouth.

  At the electric sensations, she nearly came off the bed. She gripped the comforter tighter, mashed her lips together even harder.

  With a demanding grunt, he settled in, licking and sucking and making her throat ache with the repressed scream. He was relentless, laving her with his affection and plaguing her with his tongue. He drove her up, up, almost letting her soar. But he always pulled back when she trembled against her will, breath held, thin seconds from climax.

  “Gus?”

  She knew what he was asking. Nope, she still wasn’t begging.

  Then she felt a single finger tracing her entrance, teasing her. Her hips jerked toward him. She tried to regain control of her body, tamp down her reaction. But it was too late. He knew. He rewarded her lapse of restraint when a second finger breached her.

  Roman moved the digits inside her with slow strokes. Against her will, her body tightened again. He licked, sucked, and stroked her with his mouth all while heaping more agony on her with his thick fingers. They fucked her deep, hooking upward to the perfect spot.

  Oh, god. She could barely breathe. Satisfaction shimmered right there, closer than ever…but still out of reach. All she needed was another few seconds—another lick, another stroke of his fingers against her G-spot—and she would go flying. But Roman held her satisfaction in his grip. She had to wrest it back, without letting him know how close she was to going over the edge. Then he would never have to know how deeply he affected her. She could steal this orgasm without begging.

  His lifted his head and withdrew his fingers. “You know, I was thinking about the upcoming G7 meeting. What’s your take on it?”

  “I am going to kill you.”

  He chuckled, a deep rumble that rolled over her skin. “I’m not really thinking about that, baby. I’m thinking about how my cock is going to revolt if you don’t give in soon. Come on, Gus. Give me this one thing. I won’t even make you beg tonight. Just tell me you want me. Tell me you’re not here merely because we made a bargain.”

  Gus swallowed. That was surprisingly vulnerable for him. And she wasn’t immune to it.

  In some ways, she longed for the previous Roman. He would never have opened himself up. It would have been so easy to get revenge on that man. A few well-placed words vowing that she didn’t give a damn about anything except their bargain and that, when it came to orgasm, any man would do… That would have crushed the twenty-something Roman. Then he would ache exactly the way she had all those years ago. But he was no longer the self-absorbed asshole who’d spurned her callously without regard for her feelings, who had never asked why she wanted to change her plans for the future, who had been way too ambitious to notice her missed period.

  If she could trust his words, he’d broken off their relationship back then not because he hadn’t cared, but because he’d cared too much. Because she made him feel.

  Maybe it wasn’t witty or worldly or even smart, but she wouldn’t hurt this Roman.

  “I want this, Roman. I don’t want the boy I once had. I want the man. I want you.” It wasn’t begging. She could never do that, not with him. But she could give him the truth.

  Besides, she wanted to feel this Roman, even if he was more dangerous than the younger version. Even if he broke her heart again.

  “Then let go. I want you to come all over my tongue, baby.” He lowered his head again, mouth finding just the right spot while he held her gaze. Electricity arced between them.

  Finally, he groaned and his eyes slid shut. Gus gave in too, letting her hands sink into his hair. No, she wouldn’t beg with words, but her body had different ideas. Her hips tilted up in silent entreaty, thrusting against his mouth as he suckled her clit. He eased his fingers inside again, curling them up to press and rub against her sweet spot. The man was going to kill her.

  The heat built again until the cataclysm felt imminent. Lightning flashed through her, singeing, coiling, burning, rolling up under her. The powerful clap of thunder was right there… Finally, the shattering pleasure crashed through her, pummeling her, nearly destroying her. She couldn’t stop the shout that gathered deep inside. It began in her heart and burst from her lips.

  She called Roman’s name as she thrashed and panted and scratched in satisfaction.

  As she caught her breath, he gave her one last savoring lick, accompanied by a low moan, then dragged himself to his feet. When his hands paused at the fly of his slacks, he raked his gaze over her body. “Tell me I can have you, Augustine. I need to hear it again before I go on.”

  He was giving her a loophole out of their bargain. She could send him away, end everything between them, just as he’d unwittingly done the night before. But like her last gut check, she couldn’t make herself hurt him. In fact, the thought of wounding him upset her even more now, especially when all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and welcome him inside her body. There were no walls between them now. No boundaries or barriers. It was everything she’d wanted back then. She knew she should protect herself, but she couldn’t say anything to disrupt this golden moment. Though he’d shattered her once before, here she was again, addicted and hoping for more from him than was wise.

  Still, she held her arms out to him. “Don’t leave me, Roman. I don’t want to be alone tonight. I need you.”

  His gaze softened. “I don’t want you alone. I want you happy. Hell, I want to make you happy. But I have to get a condom first, baby. I didn’t take one with me when I went out earlier. I didn’t even think about it because I wasn’t touching that woman with a ten-foot pole.”

  He looked so sincere that she believed he had no designs on Darcy. Something inside her melted even more.

  “I’m on birth control, Roman. And believe it or not, I actually haven’t had sex since my last checkup three months ago. But you should—”

  “Fuck, Gus.” He shoved his slacks down, followed immediately by his boxers. His cock, big and thick, sprang free, standing proud against his abdomen, almost touching his navel. “I haven’t had sex since my last checkup a year ago. I’m totally clean. Tell me I can have you now.”

  He might have hurt her in the past, but he would never lie about this. She normally didn’t have sex without a condom because she would never trust a man with something this important. Only Roman. He was the only man she’d ever conceived a baby with, even if accidentally. And somewhere in the back of her mind…maybe she was mulling the idea of doing it again. Not to trap him, but some part of her wanted so desperately to get back what she’d lost.

  She couldn’t let her mind wander there. Instead, she reached for Roman, wanting this moment with him. She was safe. She’d had her contraceptive shot. There was no reason to make him stop now. “Yes.”

  That was all she had to say. He toed off his loafers, peeled off his socks, and kicked his slacks away before he turned back to her, wide shoulders lifting with every harsh breath as he stood between her legs and aligned his cock against her. Gus froze, waiting eagerly. This moment was real. He was here. They were finally going to make love.

  Roman pushed inside her in one long thrust, gliding through her sensitive flesh and submerging deep until he filled her. Gus gasped as sensation flowed over her. She clamped around him with a cry, feeling stuffed tightly and desperate for more. But she also felt open and unfettered by their past. Having him inside now seemed right.

  “Damn you feel good.” Roman stood over her, j
aw clenched, holding himself still as though he needed a moment to regain his self-control. “This I definitely remember, feeling like a teenaged boy fucking a goddess for the first time.”

  He made her feel like a goddess. At least he always had when they were in bed together. Now, he made her feel important, too. A woman he wanted more than a trophy he felt compelled to win.

  She wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him down until he covered her chest with his and they rested overheated skin to skin. “I remember this part, too. This is where you make me crazy. Don’t hold back on me, Roman. Don’t you dare.”

  She wanted everything he had to give. If they only had a few weeks, she would damn well make the most of them. No more hiding pieces of herself from him. At least when they were in bed, she intended to give him her all. Yes, she would be shattered when he walked away again, but maybe that was better than being numb. She hated how gray her days had become. She needed some sunshine, even if it was only for a short time.

  “I can’t hold back, not even if I tried. Not with you.” He gripped her waist and dragged his cock back out before plunging in again.

  He set a ruthless rhythm, shuttling in and out, testing his angles until he found just the right one to have her tensing and gasping, clawing at him as he sent her closer and closer to the edge. The pleasure built, a hot, destructive force threatening to break her—and tear down all the walls she’d erected against him at any moment.

  Over and over he slammed into her, ratcheting up her senses. He bellowed out each breath. The bed rattled. Gus dug her fingers into his shoulders, nails in his skin. When her thoughts evaporated and she clawed her way down his back, he tossed back his head with a groan.

  “I remember that, too. Oh, fuck. Baby, I can’t stop. Feels too good,” he panted as he surged inside her again, somehow even deeper. “Why the hell did we wait this long?”

  She didn’t know how to answer him.

  Then she couldn’t because he settled his thumb over her clitoris and pressed down while his cock shuttled in and out, picking up speed and prodding her most tender spot over and over.

  The explosion built and swelled, climbing, growing, overwhelming. Then he sent her soaring toward heaven.

  Gus clutched him. He felt like the only solid anchor left in her world. Everything else was violent sensation. Pure emotion and energy flowed through her as her body jolted, her hips crashing into his, and she keened out in agonized satisfaction.

  Roman’s head fell back and he gave up all semblance of control, following her into orgasm. He slammed into her again before she felt the heat of his climax jetting deep inside her.

  He slowed his strokes before stopping altogether. But he remained inside her, still connected to her. Roman’s chest heaved as if he’d sprinted hard for the finish line. Then Gus realized she was breathing hard herself.

  The younger Roman would have immediately withdrawn from her and either left the bed or talked about something deeply unromantic. Through the lens of maturity, Gus wondered now if he’d intentionally put walls between them because he’d been afraid not to. This Roman caressed her cheek, his stare delving into hers. He didn’t need words now. His expression told her that he was just as amazed by the pleasure and connection as she was.

  “You good?” he murmured, thumb trailing over her temple as if he didn’t want to let her go yet. As if he wanted to savor their joining a moment longer.

  “Yeah.” Gus wasn’t sure what else to say. Anything more would have told him that feeling him deep inside her again had opened some part of her heart closed for more than a dozen years, some part that belonged to him alone.

  He smiled her way, then groaned as he withdrew and stepped back, stretching his big body. Gus shifted closer to the headboard but didn’t try to cover herself. It was nice to be naked with him. Her body was still pulsing with the gentle aftershocks of orgasm. She tried not to wonder if the two of them having lived more and now being less immature could mean anything to their future. A nice blanket of peace began to settle over her thoughts instead. Later, she’d think about the ramifications of tonight. Now, she intended to wrap herself in bliss.

  “Wow. We should be happy you’re on the pill because there’s no doubt in my mind that episode would have ended in an unwanted pregnancy.” Roman sighed. “I’ve never come so hard in my life.”

  His words yanked the peaceful blanket away and punched her in the gut. She jolted upright. He was joking, of course. He had no way of knowing what had happened the terrible night they’d split up. She’d never told him. But it didn’t matter. One word rang in her head over and over: unwanted. That was all she needed to hear.

  She remembered why she’d never intended to be with him again.

  His expression shifted from satisfied to concerned in an instant. “Augustine? Baby, are you all right?”

  She sat up, scanning the room for anything she could use to cover up. She refused to look his way. “I’m good. I need a shower before I get in bed.” She rolled off, grabbing the robe the staff had obviously left behind for him. It was far too big, but she needed the cover it provided now. “Are you sure you want me to sleep here? It’s been forever since I slept with someone. For actual sleep, anyway. I might snore.”

  Roman blocked her path to the shower, wrapping her face in his big hands and tilting her up to meet his stare. “What did I say wrong? That’s the second time I’ve seen you turn pale and haunted. What am I doing, Augustine? Talk to me.”

  She couldn’t. She wasn’t ready. Panic started to creep in. God, she felt so vulnerable. And now that he wasn’t showering her with ecstasy, now that she knew he still felt the same way about any child they might have conceived, she couldn’t stand it. Rose-colored thoughts of the future aside, she and Roman didn’t need to share more than sex. She didn’t need to give him the power to hurt her again.

  “I don’t have to talk to you. That wasn’t part of our deal. I only have to fuck you and I did that.”

  His face flushed as he dropped his arms to his sides, stepping back. “Are you kidding me? That’s such bullshit and you know it.”

  She opened her mouth to fight back when a knock sounded on the door and a masculine voice called out. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Mr. Calder,” one of the Secret Service agents murmured. “The president needs you in his suite now. You and Ms. Spencer. He says it’s an emergency.”

  “Understood. We’ll be there in a moment,” Roman barked before looking back to her, his eyes narrowed. “Get dressed. And in case you were wondering about the answer to your last question, yes. You will stay in that bed with me tonight. And if you think this conversation is over, think again. I’m not done. Not with the conversation. Not with the sex. Not with you.”

  He stalked off toward the bathroom. She was left clutching the robe and wondering how the hell she could stop him from bulldozing her heart again.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Roman ushered Gus into the presidential suite before him, studying the stiff set of her shoulders and the haughty way she held her head. The questions rolled through him like a storm. What the hell had he done to suddenly put her in that bitchy, closed-off mood? He’d watched her change. One minute she’d been a happy little sex kitten, all curled up and ready to be cuddled. The next she’d gone cold as ice.

  Was it because he’d joked about getting her pregnant? Was Gus’s biological clock ticking? Had he poked at some sore spot?

  He wasn’t about to tell her that when he’d thrust inside her without a condom, his first and arousing-as-fuck thought had been that he could get her pregnant. They weren’t kids. They could handle it. Plus, a baby would bind them together. It would mean a permanent connection to her. They would have to work something out, then. They would both have to think about the child they shared first.

  Not that his parents had. They hadn’t changed at all once they’d had a kid. In fact, they might have gotten worse. That was why he’d made the joke. His desire for a kid whose life they would probably ruin
scared the hell out of him.

  But…was his life really ruined? Or was he holding on to that thinking as a defense against the terrifying possibility that he cared about a woman and might want a future with her? That he was falling for Gus again?

  He couldn’t love her.

  Roman stopped at the scene that greeted him. Liz sat on the couch, wearing a set of lounge pajamas. Because she was Liz, she looked elegant even though she was barefaced and clearly ready for bed. Zack was still clad in his tuxedo slacks and shirt, his tie and jacket gone. He paced behind Liz as he held what looked like a file folder in his hands, reading in a silent, grim fury. Lara sat beside Liz while Gabe and Everly had taken up the desk in the corner. She clicked away on her laptop. Everyone was tense.

  Something was wrong.

  “The gang’s all here.” He kept his tone bland since not everyone was in the loop about the conspiracy around Zack. He nodded Lara and Liz’s way, noting Gus immediately sat down beside her friend. When he was close enough to be certain the women couldn’t hear him, he leaned toward Zack. “It looks like a party, not a family gathering. Should I get us some beers?”

  Zack sighed. “I can’t leave Liz out of this now, and since I knew Gus was with you, I saw no reason not to bring her in, either.”

  Roman wasn’t pleased. “And we couldn’t leave them out why?”

  Zack held the folder up, his voice a harsh whisper. “This is the reason. Liz?”

  “I found that folder laying on my bed. I guess my room was easier to get into.” The press secretary might look casually elegant, but her hands shook as she clutched them together in her lap. “The president and I had a long talk about tomorrow’s discussion with the prime minister and the press conference that will happen at the end of the week. Then I got ready for bed. When I came out of the shower, that folder was waiting.”

  Zack closed the folder, his face icy and closed. “She brought it straight to me. I’ve got Connor trying to figure out how the bastard left the folder behind. Liz locked her door.”