Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice

by James Branch Cabell

  36.

  Why Coth was Contradicted

  Then Jurgen went back to Chorasma, where Coth, the son of Smoit andSteinvor, stood conscientiously in the midst of the largest andhottest flame he had been able to imagine, and rebuked the outworndevils who were tormenting him, because the tortures they inflictedwere not adequate to the wickedness of Coth.

  And Jurgen cried to his father: "The lewd fiend Cannagosta told youI was the Emperor of Noumaria, and I do not deny it even now. But doyou not perceive I am likewise your son Jurgen?"

  "Why, so it is," said Coth, "now that I look at the rascal. And how,Jurgen, did you become an emperor?"

  "Oh, sir, and is this a place wherein to talk about mere earthlydignities? I am surprised your mind should still run upon theseempty vanities even here in torment."

  "But it is inadequate torment, Jurgen, such as does not salve myconscience. There is no justice in this place, and no way of gettingjustice. For these shiftless devils do not take seriously that whichI did, and they merely pretend to punish me, and so my consciencestays unsatisfied."

  "Well, but, father, I have talked with them, and they seem to thinkyour crimes do not amount to much, after all."

  Coth flew into one of his familiar rages. "I would have you knowthat I killed eight men in cold blood, and held five other men whilethey were being killed. I estimate the sum of such iniquity as tenand a half murders, and for these my conscience demands that I bepunished."

  "Ah, but, sir, that was fifty years or more ago, and these men wouldnow be dead in any event, so you see it does not matter now."

  "I went astray with women, with I do not know how many women."

  Jurgen shook his head. "This is very shocking news for a son toreceive, and you can imagine my feelings. None the less, sir, thatalso was fifty years ago, and nobody is bothering over it now."

  "You jackanapes, I tell you that I swore and stole and forged andburned four houses and broke the Sabbath and was guilty of mayhemand spoke disrespectfully to my mother and worshipped a stone imagein Porutsa. I tell you I shattered the whole Decalogue, time andagain. I committed all the crimes that were ever heard of, andinvented six new ones."

  "Yes, sir," said Jurgen: "but, still, what does it matter if youdid?"

  "Oh, take away this son of mine!" cried Coth: "for he is his motherall over again; and though I was the vilest sinner that ever lived,I have not deserved to be plagued twice with such silly questions.And I demand that you loitering devils bring more fuel."

  "Sir," said a panting little fiend, in the form of a tadpole withhairy arms and legs like a monkey's, as he ran up with four bundlesof faggots, "we are doing the very best we can for your discomfort.But you damned have no consideration for us, and do not rememberthat we are on our feet day and night, waiting upon you," said thelittle devil, whimpering, as with his pitchfork he raked up the fireabout Coth. "You do not even remember the upset condition of thecountry, on account of the war with Heaven, which makes it so hardfor us to get you all the inconveniences of life. Instead, youlounge in your flames, and complain about the service, andGrandfather Satan punishes us, and it is not fair."

  "I think, myself," said Jurgen, "you should be gentler with the boy.And as for your crimes, sir, come, will you not conquer this pridewhich you nickname conscience, and concede that after any man hasbeen dead a little while it does not matter at all what he did? Why,about Bellegarde no one ever thinks of your throat-cutting andSabbath-breaking except when very old people gossip over the fire,and your wickedness brightens up the evening for them. To the restof us you are just a stone in the churchyard which describes you asa paragon of all the virtues. And outside of Bellegarde, sir, yourname and deeds mean nothing now to anybody, and no one anywhereremembers you. So really your wickedness is not bothering any personnow save these poor toiling devils: and I think that, inconsequence, you might consent to put up with such torments as theycan conveniently contrive, without complaining so ill-temperedlyabout it."

  "Ah, but my conscience, Jurgen! that is the point."

  "Oh, if you continue to talk about your conscience, sir, yourestrict the conversation to matters I do not understand, and socannot discuss. But I dare say we will find occasion to thresh outthis, and all other matters, by and by: and you and I will make thebest of this place, for now I will never leave you."

  Coth began to weep: and he said that his sins in the flesh had beentoo heinous for this comfort to be permitted him in the unendurabletorment which he had fairly earned, and hoped some day to come by.

  "Do you care about me, one way or the other, then?" says Jurgen,quite astounded.

  And from the midst of his flame Coth, the son of Smoit, talked ofthe birth of Jurgen, and of the infant that had been Jurgen, and ofthe child that had been Jurgen. And a horrible, deep, unreasonableemotion moved in Jurgen as he listened to the man who had begottenhim, and whose flesh was Jurgen's flesh, and whose thoughts had notever been Jurgen's thoughts: and Jurgen did not like it. Then thevoice of Coth was bitterly changed, as he talked of the young manthat had been Jurgen, of the young man who was idle and rebelliousand considerate of nothing save his own light desires; and of thedivision which had arisen between Jurgen and Jurgen's father Cothspoke likewise: and Jurgen felt better now, but was still grieved toknow how much his father had once loved him.

  "It is lamentably true," says Jurgen, "that I was an idle andrebellious son. So I did not follow your teachings. I went astray,oh, very terribly astray. I even went astray, sir I must tell you,with a nature myth connected with the Moon."

  "Oh, hideous abomination of the heathen!"

  "And she considered, sir, that thereafter I was likely to become asolar legend."

  "I should not wonder," said Coth, and he shook his bald and dome-shapedhead despondently. "Ah, my son, it simply shows you what comes of thesewild courses."

  "And in that event, I would, of course, be released from sojourningin the underworld by the Spring Equinox. Do you not think so, sir?"says Jurgen, very coaxingly, because he remembered that, accordingto Satan, whatever Coth believed would be the truth in Hell.

  "I am sure," said Coth--"why, I am sure I do not know anything aboutsuch matters."

  "Yes, but what do you think?"

  "I do not think about it at all."

  "Yes, but--"

  "Jurgen, you have a very uncivil habit of arguing with people--"

  "Still, sir--"

  "And I have spoken to you about it before--"

  "Yet, father--"

  "And I do not wish to have to speak to you about it again--"

  "None the less, sir--"

  "And when I say that I have no opinion--"

  "But everybody has an opinion, father!" Jurgen shouted this, andfelt it was quite like old times.

  "How dare you speak to me in that tone of voice, sir!"

  "But I only meant--"

  "Do not lie to me, Jurgen! and stop interrupting me! For, as I wassaying when you began to yell at your father as though you wereaddressing an unreasonable person, it is my opinion that I knownothing whatever about Equinoxes! and do not care to know anythingabout Equinoxes, I would have you understand! and that the less saidas to such disreputable topics the better, as I tell you to yourface!"

  And Jurgen groaned. "Here is a pretty father! If you had thought so,it would have happened. But you imagine me in a place like this, andhave not sufficient fairness, far less paternal affection, toimagine me out of it."

  "I can only think of your well merited affliction, you quarrelsomescoundrel! and of the host of light women with whom you have sinned!and of the doom which has befallen you in consequence!"

  "Well, at worst," says Jurgen, "there are no women here. That oughtto be a comfort to you."

  "I think there are women here," snapped his father. "It is reputedthat quite a number of women have had consciences. But theseconscientious women are probably kept separate from us men, in someother part of Hell, for the reason that if they were admitted intoChorasma they would attempt
to tidy the place and make it habitable.I know your mother would have been meddling out of hand."

  "Oh, sir, and must you still be finding fault with mother?"

  "Your mother, Jurgen, was in many ways an admirable woman. But,"said Coth, "she did not understand me."

  "Ah, well, that may have been the trouble. Still, all this you sayabout women being here is mere guess-work."

  "It is not!" said Coth, "and I want none of your impudence, either.How many times must I tell you that?"

  Jurgen scratched his ear reflectively. For he still remembered whatGrandfather Satan had said, and Coth's irritation seemed promising."Well, but the women here are all ugly, I wager."

  "They are not!" said his father, angrily. "Why do you keepcontradicting me?"

  "Because you do not know what you are talking about," says Jurgen,egging him on. "How could there be any pretty women in this horribleplace? For the soft flesh would be burned away from their littlebones, and the loveliest of queens would be reduced to a horridcinder."

  "I think there are any number of vampires and succubi and suchcreatures, whom the flames do not injure at all, because thesecreatures are informed with an ardor that is unquenchable and ismore hot than fire. And you understand perfectly what I mean, sothere is no need for you to stand there goggling at me like ahorrified abbess!"

  "Oh, sir, but you know very well that I would have nothing to dowith such unregenerate persons."

  "I do not know anything of the sort. You are probably lying to me.You always lied to me. I think you are on your way to meet a vampirenow."

  "What, sir, a hideous creature with fangs and leathery wings!"

  "No, but a very poisonous and seductively beautiful creature."

  "Come, now! you do not really think she is beautiful."

  "I do think so. How dare you tell me what I think and do not think!"

  "Ah, well, I shall have nothing to do with her."

  "I think you will," said his father: "ah, but I think you will be upto your tricks with her before this hour is out. For do I not knowwhat emperors are? and do I not know you?"

  And Coth fell to talking of Jurgen's past, in the customary terms ofa family squabble, such as are not very nicely repeatable elsewhere.And the fiends who had been tormenting Coth withdrew inembarrassment, and so long as Coth continued talking they kept outof earshot.