Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice

by James Branch Cabell

  44.

  In the Manager's Office

  The tale tells that all was dark there, and Jurgen could see no one.But the cave stretched straight forward, and downward, and at thefar end was a glow of light. Jurgen went on and on, and so came tothe place where Nessus had lain in wait for Jurgen. Again Jurgenstooped, and crawled through the opening in the cave's wall, and socame to where lamps were burning upon tall iron stands. Now, one byone, these lamps were going out, and there were now no women here:instead, Jurgen trod inch deep in fine white ashes, leaving theprint of his feet upon them.

  He went forward as the cave stretched. He came to a sharp turn inthe cave, with the failing lamplight now behind him, so that hisshadow confronted Jurgen, blurred but unarguable. It was the propershadow of a commonplace and elderly pawnbroker, and Jurgen regardedit with approval.

  Jurgen came then into a sort of underground chamber, from the roofof which was suspended a kettle of quivering red flames. Facing himwas a throne, and back of this were rows of benches: but here, too,was nobody. Resting upright against the vacant throne was atriangular white shield: and when Jurgen looked more closely hecould see there was writing upon it. Jurgen carried this shield asclose as he could to the kettle of flames, for his eyesight was nownot very good, and besides, the flames in the kettle were burninglow: and Jurgen deciphered the message that was written upon theshield, in black and red letters.

  "Absent upon important affairs," it said. "Will be back in an hour."And it was signed, "Thragnar R."

  "I wonder now for whom King Thragnar left this notice?" reflectedJurgen--"certainly not for me. And I wonder, too, if he left it herea year ago or only this evening? And I wonder if it was Thragnar'shead I removed in the black and silver pavilion? Ah, well, there area number of things to wonder about in this incredible cave, whereinthe lights are dying out, as I observe with some discomfort. And Ithink the air grows chillier."

  Then Jurgen looked to his right, at the stairway which he andGuenevere had ascended; and he shook his head. "Glathion is no fitresort for a respectable pawnbroker. Chivalry is for young people,like the late Duke of Logreus. But I must get out of this place, forcertainly there is in the air a deathlike chill."

  So Jurgen went on down the aisle between the rows of bencheswherefrom Thragnar's warriors had glared at Jurgen when he was lastin this part of the cave. At the end of the aisle was a wooden doorpainted white. It was marked, in large black letters, "Office of theManager--Keep Out." So Jurgen opened this door.

  He entered into a notable place illuminated by six cresset lights.These lights were the power of Assyria, and Nineveh, and Egypt, andRome, and Athens, and Byzantium: six other cressets stood readythere, but fire had not yet been laid to these. Back of all was alarge blackboard with much figuring on it in red chalk. And here,too, was the black gentleman, who a year ago had given his blessingto Jurgen, for speaking civilly of the powers of darkness. To-nightthe black gentleman wore a black dressing-gown that was embroideredwith all the signs of the Zodiac. He sat at a table, the top ofwhich was curiously inlaid with thirty pieces of silver: and he wascopying entries from one big book into another. He looked up fromhis writing pleasantly enough, and very much as though he wereexpecting Jurgen.

  "You find me busy with the Stellar Accounts," says he, "which appearto be in a fearful muddle. But what more can I do for you,Jurgen?--for you, my friend, who spoke a kind word for things asthey are, and furnished me with one or two really very acceptableexplanations as to why I had created evil?"

  "I have been thinking, Prince--" begins the pawnbroker.

  "And why do you call me a prince, Jurgen?"

  "I do not know, sir. But I suspect that my quest is ended, and thatyou are Koshchei the Deathless."

  The black gentleman nodded. "Something of the sort. Koshchei, orArdnari, or Ptha, or Jaldalaoth, or Abraxas,--it is all one what Imay be called hereabouts. My real name you never heard: no man hasever heard my name. So that matter we need hardly go into."

  "Precisely, Prince. Well, but it is a long way that I have traveledroundabout, to win to you who made things as they are. And it iseager I am to learn just why you made things as they are."

  Up went the black gentleman's eyebrows into regular Gothic arches."And do you really think, Jurgen, that I am going to explain to youwhy I made things as they are?"

  "I fail to see, Prince, how my wanderings could have any otherequitable climax."

  "But, friend, I have nothing to do with justice. To the contrary, Iam Koshchei who made things as they are."

  Jurgen saw the point. "Your reasoning, Prince, is unanswerable. Ibow to it. I should even have foreseen it. Do you tell me, then,what thing is this which I desire, and cannot find in any realm thatman has known nor in any kingdom that man has imagined."

  Koshchei was very patient. "I am not, I confess, anything like aswell acquainted with what has been going on in this part of theuniverse as I ought to be. Of course, events are reported to me, ina general sort of way, and some of my people were put in charge ofthese stars, a while back: but they appear to have run theconstellation rather shiftlessly. Still, I have recently beenfiguring on the matter, and I do not despair of putting the sunshereabouts to some profitable use, in one way or another, after all.Of course, it is not as if it were an important constellation. But Iam an Economist, and I dislike waste--"

  Then he was silent for an instant, not greatly worried by theproblem, as Jurgen could see, but mildly vexed by his inability todivine the solution out of hand. Presently Koshchei said:

  "And in the mean time, Jurgen, I am afraid I cannot answer yourquestion on the spur of the moment. You see, there appears to havebeen a great number of human beings, as you call them, evolvedupon--oh, yes!--upon Earth. I have the approximate figures overyonder, but they would hardly interest you. And the desires of eachone of these human beings seem to have been multitudinous andinconstant. Yet, Jurgen, you might appeal to the local authorities,for I remember appointing some, at the request of a very charmingold lady."

  "In fine, you do not know what thing it is that I desire," saidJurgen, much surprised.

  "Why, no, I have not the least notion," replied Koshchei. "Still, Isuspect that if you got it you would protest it was a most unjustaffliction. So why keep worrying about it?"

  Jurgen demanded, almost indignantly: "But have you not then, Prince,been guiding all my journeying during this last year?"

  "Now, really, Jurgen, I remember our little meeting very pleasantly.And I endeavored forthwith to dispose of your most urgent annoyance.But I confess I have had one or two other matters upon my mind sincethen. You see, Jurgen, the universe is rather large, and the runningof it is a considerable tax upon my time. I cannot manage to seeanything like as much of my friends as I would be delighted to seeof them. And so perhaps, what with one thing and another, I have notgiven you my undivided attention all through the year--not everymoment of it, that is."

  "Ah, Prince, I see that you are trying to spare my feelings, and itis kind of you. But the upshot is that you do not know what I havebeen doing, and you did not care what I was doing. Dear me! but thisis a very sad come-down for my pride."

  "Yes, but reflect how remarkable a possession is that pride ofyours, and how I wonder at it, and how I envy it in vain,--I, whohave nothing anywhere to contemplate save my own handiwork. Do youconsider, Jurgen, what I would give if I could find, anywhere inthis universe of mine, anything which would make me think myselfone-half so important as you think Jurgen is!" And Koshchei sighed.

  But instead, Jurgen considered the humiliating fact that Koshcheihad not been supervising Jurgen's travels. And of a sudden Jurgenperceived that this Koshchei the Deathless was not particularlyintelligent. Then Jurgen wondered why he should ever have expectedKoshchei to be intelligent? Koshchei was omnipotent, as men estimateomnipotence: but by what course of reasoning had people come tobelieve that Koshchei was clever, as men estimate cleverness? Thefact that, to the contrary, Koshchei seemed well-meaning, but ratherslow of appre
hension and a little needlessly fussy, went far towardexplaining a host of matters which had long puzzled Jurgen.Cleverness was, of course, the most admirable of all traits: butcleverness was not at the top of things, and never had been. "Verywell, then!" says Jurgen, with a shrug; "let us come to my thirdrequest and to the third thing that I have been seeking. Here,though, you ought to be more communicative. For I have beenthinking, Prince, my wife's society is perhaps becoming to you atrifle burdensome."

  "Eh, sirs, I am not unaccustomed to women. I may truthfully say thatas I find them, so do I take them. And I was willing to oblige afellow rebel."

  "But I do not know, Prince, that I have ever rebelled. Far from it,I have everywhere conformed with custom."

  "Your lips conformed, but all the while your mind made verses,Jurgen. And poetry is man's rebellion against being what he is."

  "--And besides, you call me a fellow rebel. Now, how can it bepossible that Koshchei, who made all things as they are, should be arebel? unless, indeed, there is some power above even Koshchei. Iwould very much like to have that explained to me, sir."

  "No doubt: but then why should I explain it to you, Jurgen?" saysthe black gentleman.

  "Well, be that as it may, Prince! But--to return a little--I do notknow that you have obliged me in carrying off my wife. I mean, ofcourse, my first wife."

  "Why, Jurgen," says the black gentleman, in high astonishment, "doyou mean to tell me that you want the plague of your life backagain!"

  "I do not know about that either, sir. She was certainly very hardto live with. On the other hand, I had become used to having herabout. I rather miss her, now that I am again an elderly person.Indeed, I believe I have missed Lisa all along."

  The black gentleman meditated. "Come, friend," he says, at last. "Youwere a poet of some merit. You displayed a promising talent which mighthave been cleverly developed, in any suitable environment. Now, Irepeat, I am an Economist: I dislike waste: and you were never fittedto be anything save a poet. The trouble was"--and Koshchei lowered hisvoice to an impressive whisper,--"the trouble was your wife did notunderstand you. She hindered your art. Yes, that precisely sums it up:she interfered with your soul-development, and your instinctive need ofself-expression, and all that sort of thing. You are very well rid ofthis woman, who converted a poet into a pawnbroker. To the other side,as is with point observed somewhere or other, it is not good for man tolive alone. But, friend, I have just the wife for you."

  "Well, Prince," said Jurgen, "I am willing to taste any drink once."

  So Koshchei waved his hand: and there, quick as winking, was theloveliest lady that Jurgen had ever imagined.