Bitter Ashes (Bitter Ashes Book 1)

by Sara C. Roethle

  I ended up slurping on a bowl of mushroom soup while James watched me like I was a new toy that he might purchase . . . though really he was more of the shop-lifting type.

  “Maya was even more smug after she saw you,” he said suddenly.

  “Maya?” I questioned, startled that he had finally spoken.

  “The woman you met earlier,” he explained.

  “Oooh,” I said, though I already knew who he was talking about. “The woman whose foot you cut off.”

  “I had to make her talk,” he replied as if it justified his actions. “And I don't see that you're in any place to judge.”

  “I don't torture people,” I replied coolly.

  I could take people's lives and still be morally righteous . . . at least that's what I kept telling myself.

  He laughed. “Give it time. You'll be one of us soon enough.”

  I laughed right back, though mine sounded tired. “So you're saying everyone else here is an egotistical sadist like you?”

  “The sadist part at least,” he said with a smirk. “Even Alaric.”

  “I'll be the judge of that,” I mumbled, not meeting his eerie white-blue eyes.

  He laughed again. “We all have the same nature Madeline. Some just hide it better than others.”

  When I didn't reply, he watched me in silence. As it became obvious that I was now ignoring him completely, he stood and left the kitchen. I let out a breath at his departure.

  Now more anxious than ever to speak with Maya alone, I stood and threw the rest of my soup into the large kitchen sink. I had originally planned on visiting her late at night, but it occurred to me that I'd be better off going earlier.

  I’d been informed that the creature who’d chased me my first day in the Salr was called a Lindworm. James lovingly called it Stella. Stella mostly roamed the halls at night, sleeping during the day.

  Stella and I had gotten on slightly better terms since our first encounter, but the sight of her ripping a man's spinal cord out of his stomach was still too fresh in my mind. If I went to Maya sooner rather than later, hopefully I could avoid an encounter with Stella, who'd still be asleep at this hour.

  The hall was empty as I left the kitchen. I strode confidently forward so that if I encountered anyone, they wouldn't think I was up to anything. When in doubt, act like you know what you're doing and people usually won't question you.

  I went around a corner and let out my breath as I saw that the next hall was empty as well. Despite the fact that I was lucking out, I still felt a little bit wary that I wasn't seeing anyone. Even though most of the inhabitants of the Salr didn't speak to me, I still usually encountered them in the halls. It was odd walking around without the invasive feel of side-long glances and the drone of low whispers.

  By the time I came to stand in front of the door to the torture room I felt queasy and cold. I took a deep breath and grabbed the knob. If someone was inside with Maya, I'd simply lie and say I was checking to see if they needed me. It was my job to be there, so they couldn't really question me.

  I walked into the room confidently to find it empty. Completely empty. The manacles that once held Maya hung loose against the wall. At first I panicked and thought maybe James had killed her, but that wasn't right. He wouldn't kill her until he got what he wanted from her. Plus, if she was dead I would have been called to release her spirit . . . unless Estus decided to put her heart in a box.

  I searched the room for any evidence as to where she might have gone, but came up empty. Other than the blood staining the floor and walls, there was nothing to see. She could have been moved anywhere within the Salr, and I hadn't even explored the entire compound to know how big it was, or how long I'd have to search.

  I walked back into the hall, feeling numb and not knowing what to do next. At a loss, I crouched down and leaned against the wall of the hallway. Then I saw the blood. There wasn't a lot of it, but there was a definite trail of blood drips leading farther down the hall.

  I stood and followed the trail through a few twists and turns of the hall, all the way to a gargantuan stairway leading downward. The stones composing each step were larger than my torso and had to weigh a few hundred pounds each. Speckles of blood decorated the large stones all the way down into the darkness. I paused to consider my options, then hurried down the huge steps awkwardly, straining my knees as I went.

  The steps ended in a narrow corridor. Where the rest of the Salr was lit by means that weren't visible to me, this corridor was lit by torchlight, and the torches only went so far. Roughly twenty feet in front of me, the darkness was complete. I grabbed one of the torches off of the wall to light my way and almost dropped it, not expecting it to be as heavy as it was.

  As I got a better grip on the torch, I began to tremble with anticipation and fear, but still I forced myself forward. I crept along, crouching every so often to hold the torch near the floor to make sure the occasional spot of blood could still be seen. The corridor began branching off into hallways on either side of me, but the blood drops led straight forward.

  There was absolutely no light as I went deeper, and I began to fear that my torch wouldn't last long enough to lead me back out again. I almost turned back, but then I felt the pain. Not Maya's pain, as I couldn't feel anything from her, but old pain from others that had been kept down there. This place had to be where prisoners were kept when they weren't being tortured. The walls practically ached with despair. I blocked the pain out as much as possible and hurried onward, now sure that I was going in the right direction.

  Just as I was thinking that I was lucky to only be going straight, as I probably wouldn't get lost, the blood drips took a turn to the right. I veered off and trotted down the new corridor, hoping desperately that I wouldn't have to make any more turns.

  This time I was actually lucky. The corridor ended with a final turn that led to a cell. Behind the thick metal bars was Maya, who had to quickly cover her eyes at the sudden light. She looked even worse than when I'd left her. One of the hands that she held in front of her face was missing several fingers, and the left side of her face was a mass of swollen bruises.

  “I'm surprised you came this far,” she rasped. “You didn't happen to bring any water, did you?”

  “I'm sorry,” I said quickly. “I didn't think-”

  She waved me off then lowered her hands as her eyes adjusted to the light. “I suppose I should just be glad that you aren't stupid enough to believe everything you're told.”

  “Why are you being tortured?” I asked, itching to escape the dark corridors as soon as possible.

  “Estus wants a certain object,” she said, “and I may or may not know where it is.”

  “What is it?” I pressed anxiously.

  “If he had this object,” she went on, ignoring my question, “the war would be over, and Estus would be the sole man in charge.”

  “Well that sounds like a good thing,” I replied. “At least no one else would have to die.”

  Maya let out a laugh that ended in a hacking cough, making me wonder if James had damaged one of her lungs. “Tired of your job already?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “Can you blame me?”

  “Don't get tired of it,” she snapped. “At least don't show it on the outside. You'd be a fool to believe that the last executioner was actually a traitor.”

  “H-how do you know that?” I stammered.

  She shrugged. With her injuries, the shrug should have hurt, but she didn't so much as cringe. “Word gets around, but we're getting sidetracked. You implied that letting Estus win would be a good thing, but you're not looking at the big picture. Of course having one leader cuts back on the bloodshed, but what if that leader is a tyrant?”

  My mouth went dry. “I don't know . . . ” I trailed off.

  “No, you don't,” she replied. “The Vaettir withdrew from the human world for a reason. They called us wights, the undead, and burned many of us alive.”

  “So we're hiding so tha
t they don't kill us,” I concluded, but Maya only laughed at me again.

  “Things are different now,” she said. “The Vaettir have grown in number, and they've become twisted things. The humans were right to be afraid. We are not what we were meant to be.”

  “And what was that?” I prodded, desperately hoping that what we were meant to be wasn't the terrible picture of the Vaettir that I was forming in my mind.

  “We're nature spirits,” she explained. “We're supposed to be guardians of the land. In all of history we've never gathered together like this. The Salr is supposed to be a sanctuary, not a home, and definitely not a fortress.”

  I let out a sigh of relief as some tension within me eased. Perhaps my nature wasn't what I'd been led to believe after all. The idea of some part of me being like James made me ill, but maybe James was the exception and not the rule.

  “What does Estus want?” I asked as I filed the previous information away. “Please, they could find me down here soon,” I added to hurry her along.

  She shook her head. “Estus wants a lot of things, and none of them should you give him.”

  I looked over my shoulder again. “Why shouldn't I give anything to him? How can I trust you? Everyone seems to have a different idea of who I should trust. Sivi said-”

  “Sivi?” Maya questioned as if I had finally gained her interest.

  “She tried to get me to leave,” I explained. “She showed me a way out of here.” A thought dawned on me. “Maybe if I could get you out of this cell we could-”

  Maya shook her head. “There is no getting me out of this cell, and I wouldn't trust Sivi either. If you want an example of what the Vaettir are supposed to be, she's it.”

  “But isn't that a good thing?” I asked. “Just a moment ago you were telling me that we've been twisted away from what we're supposed to be.”

  “She is what we're supposed to be. She has maintained her connection to the land, even down here.” At my blank stare, she went on, “Let me guess, this alleged way out had something to do with water.”

  “How did you know?” I asked.

  My torchlight was beginning to seem dim, but I wasn't sure if the fire was actually getting lower, or if my fear was playing tricks on me.

  “She can travel through water,” Maya explained, “because it is the element that she's associated with. She has maintained that hold, making her less interested in power plays, and more interested in restoring the natural order. Sivi is very, very old, and hasn't changed much over the centuries.”

  “Centuries?” I laughed. “You're kidding right?”

  Maya shook her head. “Her age isn't important. All you need to know is what Sivi would do if she could convince the other Vaettir to follow her.”

  “The natural order doesn't sound bad-”

  Maya cut me off with a sharp motion of her mutilated hand. “The natural order would mean far fewer humans and Vaettir alike. She would try to knock the world back to medieval times.”

  My eyes widened as my mouth formed an “oh” of understanding.

  Maya glanced around as if she could hear something that I couldn't. “You're running out of time,” she said quickly. “Listen to me very carefully. Sivi is only looking out for her own well-being. The Vaettir by nature are solitary creatures, and she holds to that. Your escape would benefit her and only her. If you stay, you can work against both Estus and Sivi.”

  “Wait,” I interrupted, getting the feeling that our conversation was about to come to an abrupt end.

  “No waiting,” Maya snapped. “The answer that Estus is looking for is right under his very nose, only he can't find it. Only someone with a connection to death can find it. You can find it. Just like Sivi is a guardian of water, you're a guardian of death. Estus recently figured that part out, and that's why he suddenly wants you. I think that the last executioner failed, and so he was killed. Soon it's going to be your turn, and I'm going to help you do it.”

  “Why?” I asked, growing more confused by the second.

  “This thing would grant Estus complete control. He'll make you find it eventually even without my help. At least if you find it without him present, before he even knows that you're looking for it, you can decide what to do with it.”

  I could hear footsteps in one of the nearby corridors. “How do I find it?” I whispered.

  “Estus believes that only someone with a connection to death can see the object he seeks, but he's not quite right. In truth, only the dead know where it is, so someone with a connection is needed to ask them.”

  The footsteps had stopped, but Maya looked around again as if she could hear something that I couldn't. “There is a place within the Salr where the worst of traitors are kept,” she continued, barely loud enough for me to hear. “Their punishment is to have their souls trapped forever within their dead bodies. Only the dead can show you the way to this object, so you need to go and ask them.”

  “How am I supposed to ask them questions?” I squeaked. “They're dead!”

  The footsteps sounded again, closer this time. We both froze at the sound as someone came to stand in the cross-section where I'd turned to find Maya. I blocked as much of my torch with my body as I could and waited. Whoever it was paused for a moment, then walked on.

  “Just go and try,” Maya whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear at all. “It's the only chance we have. Now go.”

  I waited until the footsteps got far enough down the hallway that I could no longer hear them, gave a final apologetic look to Maya, then ran to the end of the corridor. I looked both ways down the hall, but my torch didn't cast enough light to see more than a few feet. Things seemed to echo more harshly down the main corridor, so despite my instinct telling me to run, I crept back slowly the way I'd come.

  I knew I was almost back to the stairs, though I couldn't yet see them, when I heard the footsteps again. Whoever it was had walked farther down the corridor, and now they were walking back at a much faster pace than I was going. I paused for a moment, not sure what I should do, then decided echoes be damned, I needed to run.

  I took off at full speed and could tell instantly that whoever was behind me had heard. The heavy footsteps quickened just as the stairs became visible ahead of me. I dropped my torch onto the ground as I used my hands to speed my progress up the giant steps.

  I reached the top and ran at full speed down the hall, refusing to look back. I ran that way until I reached my bedroom, unsure if whoever was down there had actually seen me.

  Not wanting to be caught in the hallway huffing and puffing, I let myself quickly into my bedroom, only to be caught huffing and puffing by the two people sitting on my bed waiting for me.

  “Where were you?” Sophie asked. “We looked everywhere.”

  She and her brother sat at the foot of my bed with matching worried looks in their dark eyes. The symmetry was continued by the fact that they both wore their long, dark hair loose, and they were both dressed up in black evening wear. They looked like the poster children for Goths R Us.

  “I was just walking around,” I lied as I stepped away from the door. I did my best to keep my voice even in spite my racing pulse. “I can't just stay shut up in this room all of the time.”

  “If you were just walking around the halls we would have found you,” Alaric countered. “We looked everywhere.”

  “I don't see why it's any of your business, either way,” I snapped, feeling like my nerves were about to snap as well. I thought about what Maya had said. Could I really trust any of them?

  “Something has happened,” Sophie said calmly, though it was an obvious effort for her to not snap back at me. “Estus called a gathering this evening to tell us.”

  So that's why the halls had been so empty. “And I was the only one not invited?” I asked, though in truth I didn't mind the exclusion.

  “You tell her,” Sophie growled at Alaric. As she stood, she turned to me and said, “You really shouldn't be so impossible when people are t
rying to help you.” With that she left the room, slamming the door behind her.

  Alaric stood as well, but it was to walk closer to me. I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling more nervous than I had been while running back to my room.

  Alaric circled me like a predator. “Estus has asked us to search for something. It's very important.”

  I turned with Alaric, trying to keep him in my sights. “And what something is that?”

  “It's a small charm,” he replied as he stopped to run a finger delicately down the side of my neck.

  I was finding it hard to breathe, but managed to glare at him regardless.

  “He's asked me to speak with you,” he went on. “Estus believes that you of all people can find the thing he's looking for. He'd like your help.”

  My breath caught in my throat. It was just like Maya had said. “Why me?” I pressed, curious to see if he would give me the same explanation that Maya had.

  “I'm not sure,” Alaric answered, surprising me. “But Estus is Doyen of this clan, and when he asks, I obey.” There was a tightness around his eyes as he said the latter, making me think that he wasn't entirely happy with the arrangement.

  I took a step back, effectively putting myself out of reach. “And what is so special about this charm?”

  “That is not for us to know,” he replied. His brow creased a little further.

  I crossed my arms. “You don't like taking orders, do you?”

  Alaric smiled bitterly. “No one likes taking orders, but these are the times we live in. We are not free to choose our own paths as we once were. Estus says find this elusive thing, and I must find it. He says use Madeline, and I must use you.”

  “Well I'm not going to help find it until I know what it is,” I replied hotly, “and I don't like the idea of being used. I'm not a tool.”

  Alaric closed the distance between us again. “This is how things work, Maddy. It's how they have always worked. We are all just tools in our little microcosm.”

  How they had always worked? Not according to Maya.

  I held my ground as Alaric once again stepped forward to invade my personal space. “Don't lie to me,” I said evenly.