Man on a Mission

by Carla Cassidy

  It filled her, permeating every fiber of her being. She loved him as she’d never loved Derrick, as she’d never loved before.

  “April…April.” He whispered her name over and over again as he moved against her, into her very soul. She clutched at his back, kissed the hollow of his throat as they moved faster, seeking the rhythm that would ultimately release them.

  Frenzied, almost savagely they met each other, as if consumed by a single need. He whispered in her ear, soft whispers of passion as he drove deep.

  The release came to her first, and tears sprang to her eyes as wave after wave of pleasure crashed through her. He followed just behind her, stiffening against her and crying out hoarsely.

  For a long moment neither of them spoke. Mark moved slightly to the side so his entire weight wasn’t resting on her. April was aware of her heartbeat slowing, seeking a more normal rhythm.

  Mark leaned up on his elbow and gazed down at her. “You all right?”

  She nodded, too full of emotion to speak.

  “I’m sorry.” He touched her cheek with his fingertip, a gesture so tender, so sweet, she felt tears once again burning at her eyes. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. Especially not so—so fiercely.”

  She smiled dryly. “As I recall, I wasn’t exactly an unwilling participant in the fierceness.”

  Her love for him filled her, begging to be released, but she held it in, knowing it was the last thing Mark would want to hear. Instead of speaking of her love, she loved him with her eyes, taking in each and every feature of his face and memorizing it in her heart.

  “If you don’t stop looking at me like that, we’re going to have a problem,” he said, his voice a deep growl.

  She laughed, loving the fact that she could affect him by merely looking at him. “Surely it would be a problem we could solve.”

  “You are a wicked woman,” he teased. In one smooth, graceful movement, he rolled off her and stood. He held out a hand to help her up off the floor. “Have you eaten supper?”

  “No, I was on my way to the cottage from the house when I heard the news about Lenny.”

  “Where’s Brian?”

  It warmed her heart that he would even think about her son. “With Doreen for the night.”

  “How about a fast shower, then I’ll fix us some omelettes?” He didn’t give her an opportunity to accept or decline. Taking her by the hand, he led her through his bedroom and into the master bath.

  She stood and watched while he adjusted the water temperature in the large shower, surprised to discover it seemed perfectly natural to be naked with Mark.

  And in his nakedness he was impressive. Dark hair curled on his chest, covering the center, then tapering to a thin line that ran the length of his flat abdomen. He looked powerful, utterly male, and gazing at him made breathing a little more difficult.

  When he had the water to his liking and steam began to fill the glass enclosure, he stepped into the shower and pulled her in with him.

  April wasn’t sure what was more sensually appealing, the waterfall of the warm water caressing her skin or Mark’s body moving intimately against hers. In her three years of marriage, she’d never showered with Derrick. She’d never showered with any man in her life.

  She watched as he took a bar of soap and lathered a spongeful of suds, then he rubbed the sponge down her neck and across her breasts.

  A moment before, April had believed herself completely sated, as fulfilled and satisfied as a woman could be. However, she felt herself responding anew to his touch.

  When he finished washing her breasts, he pulled her against him so he could reach behind and stroke the sponge down the length of her back.

  She hissed at the exquisite pleasure that soared through her. As he touched her more intimately, her knees weakened and she sagged against him.

  Every sense she possessed was heightened as she’d never experienced before. The scent of the minty soap whirled in her head as she took the sponge from him and began to lather his chest.

  Before long, both their bodies were soft and slick with soap and water. They moved together and the tactile pleasure of skin against skin, mouth against mouth, beneath the warmth of the water fed the fuel of April’s desire higher.

  Apparently the experience affected Mark in the same way. With his eyes blazing an inferno of renewed want, he took the soap from her, pulled her beneath the full shower spray to rinse off, then shut off the water and carried her from the shower to the bed.

  There they made love slowly, languidly. Gone was the utter desperation that had earlier marked their lovemaking. In its place was a simple quiet need for each other, a need that was all encompassing.

  Afterward they once again lay quiet in each other’s arms, the sheets beneath them a tangle of material. The room had grown dark with night, and only the light from the bathroom illuminated the bedroom.

  “I told you it was a problem we could solve,” she said softly.

  He laughed, the laughter vibrating in her chest as she remained firmly against him. She could feel his heartbeat pounding against her own, and the sound of those mingling beats sent a symphony of love singing inside her.

  She longed to tell Mark that she loved him. Her need to confess her innermost feelings for him burned inside her. But she kept her silence.

  Although he appeared to be relaxed next to her, his eyes closed and his breathing regular, she sensed a tension still rolling around inside him.

  Besides, he hadn’t uttered any words of love. He’d cried her name, whispered sweet and sexy things in her ear, but he hadn’t spoken of love.

  Or had he? Hadn’t she tasted love in his kisses, felt love flowing from his fingertips as he’d stroked her so tenderly? Had that been love? Or the finesse of a man adept at soothing both animals and women?

  He’d told her he had no plans to marry, had implied he would never have a family, and yet never had she met a man more qualified to be both. Never, before Mark, had she met a man who seemed to ache with the need for both.

  “Hungry?” His deep voice finally broke the silence between them.

  “Not really.” She turned her head to look at him, loving the strength of his features. She knew that strength had been carved out not only from the barren land in which he lived, but also from his harsh childhood devoid of love.

  “Tomorrow morning we’re having a family meeting.” He frowned, as if the thought was an unpleasant one. “One of the stipulations in Dad’s will is that once a week we have a family meeting with Walter.”

  April didn’t say anything, although she wondered why he was telling her this. He rolled over on his back and threw an arm across his eyes. “After the meeting, I’ll go into town and talk to the sheriff.”

  “And you’ll tell your family?”

  He sighed. “No, not yet. But I will tell the sheriff everything I know.”

  April laid her head on his chest. “Thank you,” she said softly. Relief flooded through her. Although she believed he should talk to his family first, it wasn’t her call. It was enough that he intended to tell the sheriff, and perhaps Broder could figure out why Marietta had been killed and what exactly was going on at the ranch.

  She remained with her head on his chest for a little while, listening to his heart throbbing in a slow rhythm. After several minutes his hand stroked through her hair, a soothing, sweet touch that summoned the first edge of sleepiness.

  Reluctantly she sat up. “I should go.”

  He touched her arm and she turned to gaze at him. “Why? Brian is at Doreen’s for the night. There’s no reason you have to go.” His hand moved up her arm and he touched the side of her cheek with his index finger. “Stay with me, April. Stay the night, and I’ll see that you’re back at the cottage early.”

  April knew she shouldn’t, knew that to sleep in his arms would only deepen the love she felt for him. Sleeping with him seemed every bit as intimate as making love to him. And yet, how could she deny herself this?

 
; Somehow she felt in her heart that things were coming to a climax between herself and Mark, that when he told the sheriff the truth in the morning, Mark would no longer need her.

  As the only person who had known the truth about him, she’d been an outlet for him, a person with whom he could let down his guard and speak freely.

  Although she had fallen in love with him, she had no idea what his true feelings for her were. They appeared to be as hidden as his intelligence was beneath his facade.

  “April, stay the night, sleep in my arms.”

  She knew the right thing was to get up and leave, but she was helpless against the force of his gaze, beneath the touch of his hand. She allowed him to pull her into his arms and against the warmth of his body.

  As they settled in together, he pulled a sheet over them, as if protecting them from the night and any outside forces that might threaten.

  With a contentment she’d never known, she closed her eyes and fell asleep as love for Mark filled her heart.

  Mark found sleep elusive. Despite the fact that April’s body was warm against his, that her closeness filled him with a euphoric rightness, his mind refused to shut off enough to allow sleep to overtake him.

  The discovery of Lenny’s body had been shocking, and he felt as if it had somehow forced his hand. How much longer could he play the fool without results?

  If he were to guess what had happened, he’d speculate that Lenny, who’d had a crush on Marietta, had followed the woman on that fatal night. He’d seen whoever had killed her, the person who had attempted to kill Mark, and he’d died because he’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  He shifted positions, careful not to disturb April’s sleep. The old barn. He believed the answers began and ended in the old barn. Marietta had doodled barn endlessly in her notes.

  But what did it mean? What were the answers? He frowned as something niggled at the back of his brain, some little piece of information that begged to be acknowledged. No matter how hard he tried to identify it, it wouldn’t come.

  He tightened his arms around April. She wanted him to tell his family the truth, but he was reluctant to do so, and adamant that she not learn the reason for his reluctance.

  His frown deepened as he played and replayed the conversation he’d heard between Billy Carr and Larry Greco. Billy had mentioned “the boss.” Mark wanted to know what was going on but, more important, he needed to know who was responsible. Who was “the boss”?

  And in the depths of his heart his fear was that it might be one of his brothers or his sister. How long could he carry this burden, this fear, that brought deep shame and a tremendous sense of disloyalty that weighed heavy on his heart.

  April moaned faintly in her sleep, as if protesting his thoughts. He stroked her back, and she instantly calmed. April. Her very name caused a rivulet of warmth to flow through him.

  He realized that his mind had been assessing and reassessing the possible crimes and criminals on the ranch because it was easier, less complicated than dealing with his emotions where April was concerned.

  She filled a void he hadn’t realized he’d had. Her smile warmed his heart and evoked laughter inside him. The pain of her past had somehow become his pain.

  He loved her.

  The joy this realization brought with it was short-lived. He loved her, and if he had his way he would continue their relationship as it was at this moment. Stealing nights when possible to hold her in his arms, spending evenings with her and Brian, sharing in the love that existed between mother and son.

  If he had his way they would continue with their relationship of no commitment, no expectations, no real future. Because it was easier that way.

  He could successfully fulfill no expectations, and she’d never have to know he was a failure, as his father had known, as Rachel had discovered.

  He loved April with every fiber of his being, and that was why he would never promise her a future, never make any sort of commitment to her.

  She and Brian deserved a man who was better, a man who could provide a loving, supportive, extended family. They both deserved better than a man who was good for nothing but working with livestock.

  Again he tightened his arms around her, reveling in the scent of her, the feel of her body warm and compliant against his own.

  Closing his eyes, he felt his mind finally emptying of all thought other than this moment of holding April while she slept. They may not have a future together, but he had until dawn to hold her. And for the moment that was enough.

  He awakened before dawn, instantly aware of what had been niggling at his mind concerning the old barn. He fought the impulse to awaken April and share with her what was on his mind.

  Darkness still claimed the sky and April slept soundly in his arms. No point in awakening her yet. He checked his wristwatch, the luminous dial letting him know it was just after four. Dawn was only an hour away. He could wait.

  Besides, waking with a beautiful naked woman in his arms was a novelty. In all his thirty-three years, he’d never actually slept the entire night with a woman.

  When he and Rachel had been dating, she’d lived in an apartment building in town and hadn’t wanted him leaving her house in the mornings in case the neighbors might see. But now, looking back, he realized she hadn’t wanted the ultimate intimacy of sleeping in his arms.

  Since Rachel, there had been no woman Mark had wanted to hold through the night, awaken to in the morning. Not until April.

  He gazed at her now, taking pleasure in studying her features in leisure. In sleep she looked younger. He knew she must be about around thirty years old, but sleep erased ten years from her face.

  She was beautiful, and her beauty ached inside him because he wanted her for a lifetime, but knew he couldn’t, shouldn’t, have her.

  Mark had spent his youth as the invisible middle son. He’d spent much of his adulthood as the invisible man. Being with April transformed him, made him feel visible for the first time in his life, but he didn’t trust the transformation. He knew that eventually he’d go back to being nothing, nobody, and April deserved better, just as Rachel had.

  Dawn light was streaking across the sky when April opened her eyes and smiled. “Good morning,” she said. “How long have you been awake?”

  “About an hour or so.”

  Neither of them moved from the warmth of their entanglement beneath the covers. “And what have you been doing for the past hour?”

  “Thinking.”

  She gazed at him intently. “You haven’t changed your mind, have you? About going to the sheriff?”

  He rubbed a hand down her back, loving the feel of her skin against his fingers. “No, I haven’t changed my mind.”

  “Good,” she said firmly.

  “But—”

  “I hate ‘buts,’” she said, interrupting him. She untangled herself from him and sat up, holding the sheet over her breasts with a sense of modesty.

  He sat up, as well. “I’ve been thinking about the old barn,” he began.

  “What about it?” She frowned.

  “I still think something isn’t right there.”

  April’s brow wrinkled in perplexity. “But we checked it out. We didn’t find anything suspicious, nothing odd at all.”

  “Ever since we went there something has been bothering me about the place.” Mark raked a hand through his sleep-tousled hair, the realization about the barn that had been so illuminating an hour ago now seeming far reaching. “I don’t know, maybe it’s nothing.”

  April placed a hand on his forearm. “Tell me,” she urged.

  “When we were out at the barn and we were looking around inside, there were no footsteps in the dirt and dust on the floor.”

  She stared at him in bewilderment. “I don’t understand… That just means nobody had been out there before us.”

  “But there should have been animal prints. Lizards and rodents, jackrabbits and who knows what else, would find the barn a perf
ect place to roam.”

  “We saw a lizard, remember? It scared us when it raced across the floor.”

  He nodded. “And when it ran across the floor, it left behind little footprints. I can’t believe that was the first animal to run across that floor, and I keep seeing that broom standing in the corner.”

  Again April’s forehead creased with thought. “You think maybe somebody swept the floor to make it appear nobody had been there?”

  He shrugged. “Isn’t it possible?”

  “Sure,” she agreed.

  “So, it’s not a crazy thought?”

  She laughed, her gaze on him soft. “Mark, you’re about the most uncrazy person I’ve ever known. So, what are you going to do?”

  “Check it out one more time.”

  “I’ll come with you.” He looked at her in surprise, and she smiled. “Two people looking at something might find what one person misses.” She swung her feet over the side of the bed. “Besides, the barn won’t scare me at dawn like it might scare me at dusk.”

  “There’s no guarantee that bogeymen come out only at night,” Mark observed.

  She slid off the bed and walked to the bathroom door. “But I’m not afraid of bogeymen if I’m with you.” With that statement of utter trust, she disappeared into the bathroom.

  Mark rolled over on his back and stared up at the ceiling that was painted with the colors of dawn. Once again his thoughts were in turmoil where April was concerned.

  Somehow he’d garnered her complete and utter trust, and that scared him. With trust came responsibility, and the last thing Mark wanted was to be responsible for anyone.

  He rolled out of bed and grabbed his clothes, then went into the hall bathroom for a quick shower.

  By the time he was finished showering and dressing, April was waiting for him.

  He felt the need to say something to her, to warn her not to rely on him, not to trust him. He wanted to tell her not to love him and to have no expectations of him despite what they had shared the night before.

  However, he wasn’t sure how to broach it. After all, she had spoken no words of love to him. In fact, she had told him after they’d made love the first time that the last thing she wanted was another man in her life. She’d indicated that sex with him was enough for her.