Far From Home

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  I nodded and took his hand and we walked over to say goodbye to my family. There was an unofficial graduation party on the outskirts of town that my friends and I had agreed to attend. It’d been a tradition for forever, or so I’d been told. There’d be a bonfire and God knows what else, and we figured it would be a fitting way to end our high school career.

  “Now you guys be careful at that party,” my mom said, hesitating on the last word.

  “We’ll be fine, Mom,” I said reassuringly.

  “Ya know, Riley, I went to the same party when I graduated.”

  “And you survived, didn’t you?”

  “I trust you guys, but I still worry. Have fun though and be home by one o’clock.”

  “I promise.”

  I hugged my grandma and said goodbye to Jack. Brandon was waiting for us by Jesse’s Wagoneer and Laura, Holly, and Mandy piled into Laura’s old Ford Taurus.

  “It’s about time. Let’s go,” Brandon said as he climbed into the back seat and threw his graduation gown in the back. Jesse and I each pulled ours off and did the same once we got in the Jeep. Jesse turned the ignition and the engine started rumbling. He backed out of the parking space and we began following Laura.

  “Can you believe we’re actually done?” Brandon said, leaning forward, resting his arms on the back of the bench seat Jesse and I sat on, looking between us.

  “Put your seatbelt on,” Jesse said flatly.

  “Do you think this party is as epic as everyone says?” Brandon continued, ignoring Jesse’s order.

  “I doubt it,” Jesse replied.

  “Then why are we going?”

  “Because it’s what the senior class has done for the last 50 years. It’s tradition, Brandon.”

  “I heard there’s gonna be a ton of alcohol there,” he said excitedly.

  “Yeah, and if you drink too much and puke in my car, I’m gonna be really pissed,” Jesse said and I laughed. “You think that’s funny?”

  “Kinda,” I grinned at him.

  “Well, the same rule applies for you,” he said, giving me a playful, warning look.

  “You know I don’t drink.”

  “I just want to give everyone fair warning. There will be no puking in my car tonight.”

  Brandon just sighed and finally leaned back into his seat and I pulled Jesse over to me, causing him to jerk the wheel slightly, as I kissed him on the cheek.

  “Tell your girlfriend there will be no making out while the vehicle’s in motion,” Brandon said sarcastically from the backseat.

  “Now that is a rule I cannot enforce,” Jesse said, turning his head from the road for a second as he kissed me quickly.

  I heard Brandon groan again and I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him.

  “Your girlfriend is harassing me.”

  “You probably deserve it,” Jesse said, glancing into the rearview mirror at Brandon.

  “You always stick up for her.”

  “That’s because he likes me,” I said, turning around to taunt him.

  “Ya know, Jesse, I came first. Whatever happened to bros before hos?” Brandon said and then began stuttering. “I mean…not that you’re a ho, Riley, but you get my point.”

  “I can’t believe you just used that phrase,” Jesse began. “And until you look like Riley, she’ll always come first.”

  He was glancing at me sideways with a smile and I just grinned.

  Laura turned off onto a dirt road and Jesse followed, the Wagoneer dipping and bumping over the rough terrain, until a giant fireball came into view. Cars I recognized from the parking lot at school littered the field and Jesse pulled in beside Laura. When we got out, Mandy was giddy with excitement.

  “This is awesome!” she said, walking quickly towards the fire, leaving us in her dust.

  “As crazy as she is,” I said as we headed towards the crowd. “I’m gonna miss her.”

  “We still have some time before you leave. I’m sure you’ll get enough of Mandy by then,” Laura said.

  “I know, but it won’t be the same,” I replied listlessly.

  “I still can’t believe you’re the same Riley we met back in September. You actually like it here now. You used to think it was hell on earth,” Holly added.

  “I was pretty awful, wasn’t I?”

  “Yeah, but we knew something great was below the surface,” Holly said, putting her arm around my shoulder and then pulled Laura over as well. Before I realized what was happening, we were skipping towards the fire like Laverne and Shirley and laughing like crazy. It felt good to just let go and act ridiculous for a little bit. We eventually stopped skipping as we nearly stumbled over each other. We were laughing hysterically at this point. Jesse and Brandon were yards behind us and they were just shaking their heads.

  “I’ll never understand girls,” Brandon said once they caught up with us.

  “We were just having a little fun. You should try it some time. Both of you,” Holly said.

  “No thanks. I stopped skipping in preschool,” Brandon said as he stopped and looked around. “Now, I’m gonna go check this place out. Come with me, Jesse.”

  Jesse looked over to me and I nodded for him to go ahead.

  “Be right back,” he said, jogging over to me, kissing me on the cheek and then went back to Brandon who was heading towards the fire.

  “He really is sweet,” Laura said.

  “Yeah, he is,” I said, touching my cheek where he’d just kissed me.

  “I’m really glad you two got together. Jesse deserves to be happy,” Laura said and then turned to me. “And you too, of course. Do you guys want something to drink? I’m gonna go grab a Coke.”

  “I’m good,” I said and Holly shook her head as well.

  “I’m thirsty. Come on,” Mandy said, taking Laura’s hand and they walked towards the fire where a row of coolers sat.

  “That was nice of Laura to say,” I said once it was Holly and me.

  “I think she really meant it too.”

  “Why wouldn’t she?”

  “I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Laura always had a crush on Jesse,” Holly said and I gasped.

  “What? I never would’ve guessed.”

  “She’s very good at hiding it. I don’t think Jesse has a clue, so you’d better not tell him. She’d be mortified.”

  “I won’t say anything, I promise. I feel kinda weird though. Guilty almost.”

  “Don’t feel guilty. Jesse loves you and I, just like Laura, am glad to see him with someone that makes him so happy. I’ve never seen him care for someone the way he cares for you. He was a mess when you went back to Boston.”

  I closed my eyes for a moment, thinking back to that time apart. I had been miserable too.

  “I’m just glad everything’s okay now. He saved me.”

  We were quiet for a moment. Holly had never known the whole story behind my falling out with Alex. Jesse was the only one who knew and yet, he still loved me.

  We were sitting down on a fallen tree trunk now, away from the fire and we were quiet as we watched our classmates. I didn’t see Jesse or Brandon and Laura and Mandy appeared to have been distracted by something, because they still hadn’t returned.

  “I don’t deserve Jesse.”

  “Yes, you do. And he deserves you.”

  “No, Holly. I really don’t deserve him,” I said, turning to my friend.

  “Why would you say that?”

  “I never told you why I left.”

  “You don’t need to. It’s not any of my business.”

  “I appreciate you never having pressured me to tell you, but I know you’ve heard the rumors about what happened with Alex and me.”

  “You should know me well enough by now to know I don’t listen to rumors.”

  “I do know that, Holly, which is one reason you’re such an awesome friend,” I said, smiling appreciatively at her. “But you should know the truth,” I said and then paused for a moment before conti
nuing. “I left because I slept with Alex on Homecoming night. It was my first time and he dumped me right after.”

  Holly didn’t say anything, but when I turned to look at her, her face barely illuminated from the pale moonlight, her mouth was open a little as if she didn’t know what to say.

  “So Jesse knew?” she finally asked quietly.

  “I told him.”

  “And that’s why he went after Alex,” she concluded.

  “He saw me running down the hall after Alex told me everything…how Kurt bet him he couldn’t get me to sleep with him by Homecoming and I spilled everything to Jesse.”

  “Riley!” she gasped. “A bet?”

  “Yeah,” I said, swallowing hard, remembering the pain. “Pretty sick, huh?”

  I looked over and Holly’s hand was covering her mouth and I thought I detected tears in her eyes.

  “I’m so sorry,” she managed to say a moment later. “Are you okay?”

  “I am now. Didn’t think I was going to be…not until Jesse made me see I would be.”

  “He’s pretty incredible. I love that guy.”

  “Me too.”

  We were quiet for a moment and then I felt Holly put an arm around me and give me a supportive squeeze.

  “I’m really glad you came back and I’m glad you and Jesse have each other. But things are different with Jesse. He’s not using you. He loves you.”

  I felt my cheeks turn red at what she was implying.

  “Truth is,” I began modestly. “We’ve never…ya know.”

  Holly looked stunned again.

  “Are you serious? Never?”

  “Never.”

  “Wow,” she sighed softly. “We were all certain you two were going at it. I mean, you can’t keep your hands off each other, so we figured once you were alone…in the dark…well, you get the picture.”

  “Wait,” I said with a laugh. “You guys discuss mine and Jesse’s sex life?”

  “Well…it’s come up on occasion.”

  “I’m sorry to have disappointed you.”

  “I actually think it’s really cute you guys have waited,” she said and then got quiet before looking at me. “Are you ever going to?”

  I felt myself blush again.

  “I think so. I hope so,” I replied softly.

  “Then why haven’t you?” she asked bluntly. “I mean, you two are crazy about each other.”

  “I dunno. The whole thing with Alex kinda scared me and I think it scared Jesse too. He’s afraid of hurting me or something. I don’t think he wants to ruin anything between us and I feel the same way…for the most part. I know it doesn’t make sense, because my relationship with Jesse is nothing like my so-called relationship with Alex, but I think Jesse and I are both afraid once we cross that line, things will be different, just like it was once I did that with Alex.”

  “How do you guys stop?” she giggled.

  “It’s hard. It’s really hard,” I giggled back and then we got control of ourselves as Jesse and Brandon approached us.

  “Are you guys okay?” Jesse asked, taking a seat beside me.

  “Yeah, we’re great,” I said, looking at Holly knowingly.

  “So, what’d you guys discover at this amazing party?” Holly asked sarcastically.

  “Not much. It appears to be just a fire and booze. Lots of booze,” Brandon said, raising the red Solo cup he’d brought with him and guzzling it down.

  “Remember, Brandon. No puking,” Jesse said and then I grabbed his red cup.

  “And what do we have here, Mr. Baylor?” I asked, sniffing the cup, expecting to smell the tingle of alcohol, but didn’t.

  “Sorry to disappoint you, Miss Regas,” he said, taking the cup back. “But, it’s orange pop.”

  “Good thing. I wouldn’t be driving home with a boozer,” I laughed. “Did you guys see Mandy and Laura?”

  “They looked pretty engrossed with a conversation with Derek Collins and AJ Hart,” Jesse informed us.

  “Looks like they’re trying to leave their legacy,” Brandon laughed, but we just ignored him.

  “C’mon, let’s go socialize,” Holly said, standing up and pulling my arm till I did likewise.

  “Why can’t we just stay here?” I complained.

  “Because, this is our last official gathering as a class. We may never see any of these people again,” Holly answered.

  “Of course we’ll see them,” Brandon spoke up. “This is Carver. Half of them aren’t going anywhere.”

  “Still, we came here to hang out. If we only wanted to be together, we could’ve just gone to Jesse’s place like we always do. Now, c’mon.”

  I looked over to Jesse, hoping he would help me out, but he just shrugged his shoulders in agreement and I reluctantly began walking with Holly over to the crowd that had gathered by the huge bonfire. It lit up the dark night and everyone looked to be having a great time…thanks to the red cups most of them were holding.

  My eyes drifted and I saw Mandy and Laura talking to Derek and AJ, just as Jesse had said. I didn’t see a red cup in either of their hands though, so I knew they weren’t drinking. Then my eyes focused on a small group across from us: Alex and Adrienne and their crowd. They were on opposite ends of each other, with Adrienne speaking to Kristen and Dana and Alex involved in a conversation with his friends, Kurt, Lucas and Charlie. I turned away and took Jesse’s hand.

  All of a sudden, music started blaring and I jumped from the surprise. It was an old Nirvana song and most of the people around us started jumping up and down like a mosh pit from the 90s, beer spilling from their cups.

  “C’mon,” Brandon said, grabbing Holly and then Jesse, taking him by the arm. Before I could say anything, he’d pulled Holly and Jesse into the crowd and they were moshing too. Jesse motioned for me to come over, but I just laughed and shook my head. I smiled and turned away, deciding I did want a drink after all.

  Most everyone had congregated by the bonfire, so the coolers were deserted when I got there. I reached in and took out a Sprite, opening it and taking a long drink.

  “Well, lookey here,” a familiar voice said from behind me.

  It was a voice I hadn’t really heard since that Monday after Homecoming. I turned around, stunned to see a drunken Alex staring at me. He was grinning with that same devilish half-smile I’d fallen for all those month ago, a smile I now found repulsive.

  “Miss Riley Regas,” he said, taking a few steps towards me, stopping close enough to me that I could smell the beer on his breath.

  “Go away, Alex,” I said, trying to step around him, but he moved to the side, blocking my exit. I stepped to the other side, but he did the same and I finally just stopped trying. I sighed and rolled my eyes, glaring at him.

  “That is no way to talk to a friend.” His words were slow and slurred and I knew he was hammered.

  “You are not my friend,” I said sternly and he stepped even closer, this time reaching up and brushing some hair from my forehead, his fingertips grazing my cheek as he did so. I could not believe I’d once found his touch enticing. It was nauseating now.

  “That hurts, Riley. I’d say we’re friends. Yes, we’re definitely friends,” he said, taking a long, slow drink from his cup. “I mean, people who aren’t friends don’t have sex and we had sex, remember?” I tried to be strong, but I felt tears burning at the backs of my eyes. He’d already humiliated me enough. I didn’t need to stand here and let him do it again. “Remember how I took you to my house,” he said, a loud laugh bellowing from him. “My parents were gone and you and I…well, you remember what happened.”

  “I need to get back to my friends,” I said, pushing past him, but he grabbed my arm forcefully and pulled me back in front of him.

  “You mean Jesse?” Alex rolled his eyes when he said Jesse’s name.

  “Why are you doing this now? I’m so over this whole thing that happened between us.”

  “I doubt that,” he scoffed. “I pretty much ripped your h
eart out.”

  “You never had my heart to being with. Now, let go of me, Alex,” I said, trying to yank my arm free, but I couldn’t.

  “Ya know, Riley,” he said, pulling me even closer, wrapping his arm around my waist. “I sometimes regret letting you go. I mean, sure, I won the bet with Kurt, but I shouldn’t have let you go so soon. I should’ve held on longer. We could’ve had some fun. It didn’t need to be a one shot deal. You were a damn good lay.” The alcohol on his breath was causing my eyes to burn and I blinked, my tears betraying me as they silently streamed down my face. “Whaddya say? You want one more shot? End our high school career on a high note?”

  “I say go to hell,” I seethed at him, but he just started laughing and before I knew what was happening, I felt his lips crashing on mine and he was shoving his tongue inside my mouth.

  I used all my strength to try and push him away, but his grip was too tight. His tall frame dwarfed me and I couldn’t get away. I wriggled quickly, trying to get his hands off me, but it was no use.

  “You’re so feisty. I always loved that about you,” he said when he’d finally stopped the assault on my lips.

  “Please, Alex,” I finally said, trying to reason with him. “You’re drunk. Let’s not do this.”

  “I’m not drunk!” he said, his voice turning angry.

  “Hey!” a voice shouted and a second later, I felt Alex’s grip on my arm release and he went flying backwards, stumbling on the rocky ground. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jesse was standing in front of Alex.

  “Calm down, Baylor,” Alex said. Jesse stepped forward and shoved Alex backwards so his red cup went flying, the beer forming a puddle on the ground.

  “Why’d you have your hands all over Riley?”

  “You’ve got it all wrong, man. She was after me.”

  “Bullshit! I saw the whole damn thing. Stay away from Riley.” Jesse was only inches from Alex’s face at this point. He’d grabbed onto the collar of Alex’s shirt and was holding it with a white knuckle grip.

  I was shocked that Alex was just standing there, taking it from Jesse the way he was. He was probably too wasted to do anything and his buddies, the ones who’d jumped in to save him the last time he’d gotten into a fight with Jesse, were too plastered to realize what was even going on.